The Black Mother Wound

In this episode of the Black Mother Wound Podcast, host Jennifer Arnese explores her struggles with procrastination, anxiety, and feelings of unworthiness—all stemming from her mother wound. She candidly shares her journey of healing, self-reprogramming, and building trust in her own abilities. Jennifer discusses the impact of childhood programming on adult behavior and the importance of acting on intuitive inspiration immediately. This unplanned, raw conversation aims to resonate with listeners facing similar struggles and offers insight into navigating self-doubt and achieving personal growth.

00:00 Introduction to the Black Mother Wound Podcast
00:40 Facing Procrastination and Anxiety
04:50 The Impact of the Mother Wound
09:45 Navigating the Gap of Unworthiness
29:12 Trusting Yourself and Overcoming Doubt
35:28 Conclusion and Next Steps

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Join my 6-Week Mother Wound Healing Course

How we can stay connected and work together!

1.Sign-up for my Mother Wound Group Healing Intensive - http://jenniferarnise.com
2.  Download my FREE Black Mother Wound Healing Guide - http://bit.ly/bmwhealingguide
3. Work with me one on one - http://bit.ly/bmwcoachingsession
4. Order my book on Amazon - http://bit.ly/ftc-book
5. Listen to the Podcast - https://jenniferarnise.com/podcast/
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In this heartfelt episode of the Black Mother Wound podcast, I reflect on my personal healing journey amidst a staycation celebrating my 50th birthday. 

I encourage you to embrace your own paths to happiness and authenticity, despite the challenges. 
The episode underscores the importance of making choices for one's own growth and wellbeing. 

00:26 Personal Reflections and Birthday Celebration
02:06 The Emotional Impact of Self-Acknowledgment
05:10 Healing from the Mother Wound
08:23 Empowerment and Self-Approval
18:27 The Importance of Autonomy
26:23 Final Thoughts and Life Update

Sign-up for the RESOLVE Mother Wound Healing Group Waitlist today!http://bit.ly/resolvewaitlist

Support the show

Join my 6-Week Mother Wound Healing Course

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Sign-up for my Mother Wound Group course waitlist (Class starts October 15)

2.  Download my FREE Black Mother Wound Healing Guide

3. Work with me one on one

4. Order my book on Amazon

5. Listen to the Podcast

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This is a different type of episode this week. All the cake, no icing. I’m in the middle of moving and my house is a pretty much packed up. So I recorded this week on my iphone while walking around the house.

Life should be back to normal in a few weeks but I kinda like this more candid, WYSIWYG vibe. And it prompted this weeks episode. How do you accept what is?

I hope you enjoy and let me know of you like this style of video or if you want me to go back to the “studio” version.

Luh you! 

Bye

Sign-up for the RESOLVE Mother Wound Healing Group Waitlist today!http://bit.ly/resolvewaitlist

Support the show

Join my 6-Week Mother Wound Healing Course

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Sign-up for my Mother Wound Group course waitlist

2.  Download my FREE Black Mother Wound Healing Guide

3. Work with me one on one

4. Order my book on Amazon

5. Listen to the Podcast

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The greatest challenge in healing is not the external obstacles but the internal beliefs we hold about ourselves. Healing is often misunderstood. Many of us believe that healing is like fixing a broken leg—it’s about making something that’s damaged whole again. However, healing is not just about repairing something broken; it's about understanding and transforming the way we perceive ourselves and our experiences. It's a deeply personal journey that involves examining and changing our internal beliefs and self-talk.

Thus, healing involves more than just addressing the hurt caused by others; it also requires working on the limiting beliefs we’ve developed as a result of that hurt. Indeed, the greatest challenge in healing is not the circumstances we face but our willingness to shift the way we see and take care of ourselves. When we focus on our needs and well-being, we start to see things differently. Healing happens when we decide to change the negative thoughts we have about ourselves, allowing us to move forward and create a future that isn’t held back by old beliefs. Remember, each step taken towards understanding and transforming these internal beliefs is a step towards reclaiming our true selves.

"The first thing that will further your healing goal is prioritizing yourself. To prioritize yourself, there must be a shift in your thinking."– Jennifer Arnise

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:01:43) Prioritizing what matters

(00:03:45) Being good to myself

(00:05:07) Healing is a change of perception

(00:07:01) What does it mean to be healed?

(00:09:04) Do less and have more

(00:11:08) Embracing the long road of healing

(00:12:29) Challenging self-limiting beliefs

(00:14:25) Changing how you see yourself

(00:18:05) It’s harder to stay where you are

(00:20:23) How would my life change for the better? 

(00:22:29) Healing works best with support

Key Takeaways:  

"Some things have to get done, some things can wait till later."– Jennifer Arnise

"You can have a better body, more money, more friends and not be healed."– Jennifer Arnise 

"If you cannot change the way you see yourself, nothing else is gonna change."– Jennifer Arnise

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

Sign-up for the RESOLVE Mother Wound Healing Group Waitlist today!http://bit.ly/resolvewaitlist

Support the show

Join my 6-Week Mother Wound Healing Course

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Sign-up for my Mother Wound Group course waitlist

2.  Download my FREE Black Mother Wound Healing Guide

3. Work with me one on one

4. Order my book on Amazon

5. Listen to the Podcast

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In life, it’s easy to be tough and assertive when we’re defending someone else or fighting for a cause. We might stand up with confidence and take action when we see injustice or when someone we care about is being treated unfairly. But when it comes to standing up for ourselves, many of us hesitate or even back down. There’s often a sense of guilt associated with prioritizing our own needs.

However, we must learn to advocate for ourselves, speak up, and set healthy boundaries. Remember, boundaries are statements about what you want and need. They are not a conversation to negotiate or a tool to change others' behavior. Instead, they are personal guidelines for how you will respond in situations where your needs are not met. Boundaries are the lines we draw to protect ourselves from being overwhelmed, disrespected, or taken advantage of.  Therefore, we must not allow others to cross these lines because when we fail to establish clear boundaries, we risk losing our sense of self.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:03:43) How the mother wound affects our communication

(00:05:00) Children being seen and not heard

(00:06:12) How gossip takes over women conversation

(00:08:47) Setting a boundary

(00:11:02) Understanding the four parts of boundaries

(00:13:52) How you feel is not up for negotiation

(00:15:09) Understanding how you feel

(00:16:06) Prioritizing how others affect you

(00:19:46) Stand up for yourself

(00:21:26) Don’t settle for ‘what should be’

(00:22:50) Being guilty vs feeling guilty

(00:23:57) Healing the fear of punishment

(00:25:23) The power of speaking up

Key Takeaways:  

"Most people think a boundary is a conversation, something to be negotiated. It is not; it is a statement."– Jennifer Arnise 

"Healing your mother wound is all about you regaining autonomy."– Jennifer Arnise 

"Most people think a boundary is a conversation, something to be negotiated. It is not; it is a statement."– Jennifer Arnise 

"You have the power to build a new reality of support and community around you."– Jennifer Arnise 

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

Sign-up for the RESOLVE Mother Wound Healing Group Waitlist today!http://bit.ly/resolvewaitlist

Support the show

Join my 6-Week Mother Wound Healing Course

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Sign-up for my Mother Wound Group course waitlist (The next class starts in October)

2.  Download my FREE Black Mother Wound Healing Guide

3. Work with me one on one

4. Order my book on Amazon

5. Listen to the Podcast

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In our quest for happiness, we often look outward for validation and affection. We frequently invest so much energy in seeking approval from those around us. We want to hear loving words, experience acceptance, and feel nurtured and valued. Many of us grow up longing for the kind of love we believe should come from our mothers. We look for it in relationships, achievements, and approval from others, thinking that these will fill the void within us. But the truth is, the love and acceptance we crave don’t necessarily come from others; they must first come from within.

We must realize that self-love is not a grand or complicated concept. It’s about understanding that we deserve to feel good and be kind to ourselves. When we learn to nurture ourselves, to speak kindly to ourselves, and to prioritize our own needs, we start to build a foundation of self-acceptance that is unshakable by external circumstances. It’s not about dismissing the value of external validation but about realizing that true contentment begins with self-love. Remember, self-love means treating ourselves with the same compassion we would offer a dear friend.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:02:03) Gratitude for support

(00:04:41) Cycle of self-blame

(00:06:10) Why we are our own worst critics

(00:07:41) Feel at home in yourself

(00:09:32) The manipulation of love

(00:12:19) Do you like yourself?

(00:14:43) Healing needs changing

(00:16:13) Showing up flawed

(00:18:27) How acting despite flaws reflects self-love

(00:21:40) Listen to yourself

(00:22:28) Treat yourself with curiosity

(00:24:56) How lightheartedness enhances self-comfort 

(00:25:58) Build healthier ways to treat yourself

Key Takeaways:  

"The reason I want you to heal your mother wound is so you can feel at home in your own body, your own mind so you can belong to someone."– Jennifer Arnise

"Healing your mother wound is about changing your actions, your habits and your patterns."– Jennifer Arnise

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

Sign-up for the RESOLVE Mother Wound Healing Group Waitlist today!http://bit.ly/resolvewaitlist

Support the show

Join my 6-Week Mother Wound Healing Course

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Sign-up for my Mother Wound Group course waitlist

2.  Download my FREE Black Mother Wound Healing Guide

3. Work with me one on one

4. Order my book on Amazon

5. Listen to the Podcast

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Everyone wants to have a positive, loving relationship with their mother. We all dream of a bond built on trust, kindness, and mutual respect. There is a special part of our hearts that aims to protect them, please them, and make them proud. We imagine that this deep connection will bring joy and fulfillment, and we work hard to achieve it, even when it feels challenging.

But what if, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves feeling more hurt and frustrated rather than loved and valued?

It’s important to understand that you don’t have to endure a relationship that continually causes you stress and sadness. Valuing yourself means recognizing when a relationship is harmful and making the choice to protect your own mental and emotional health. Going no contact, though a difficult decision, can sometimes be necessary to stop the cycle of pain and start healing. Choosing to prioritize your own well-being is not an easy path, but it is often the first step toward finding peace and building healthier relationships.

In this episode, I will share with you the challenges and benefits of going "no contact" with your mother, especially when the relationship is causing you stress, pain, and emotional strain. We'll explore what it means to take that step, why some people feel it's necessary, and the benefits and challenges that come with it.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:01:25) What does “no contact” mean? 

(00:02:08) The emotional cost of protecting yourself from your mother

(00:05:25) The burden of protecting your mother’s feelings

(00:07:36) Choose yourself

(00:08:51) Clearing the voice in your head

(00:12:05) The challenges of going no contact with your mother

(00:14:58) When family ties hurt

(00:17:45) Build other relationships

(00:19:40) Learning to live on my own

(00:23:19) Rules of no contact

(00:24:44) Start setting boundaries

Key Takeaways: 

"When we have to face reality, we have to bury the dream of the mother we've always wanted."– Jennifer Arnise

"Do not think that you can change your mother and make her the villain in the story when you have not taken responsibility for your own life."– Jennifer Arnise

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

Sign-up for the RESOLVE Mother Wound Healing Group Waitlist today!http://bit.ly/resolvewaitlist

Support the show

Join my 6-Week Mother Wound Healing Course

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Sign-up for my Mother Wound Group course

2.  Download my FREE Black Mother Wound Healing Guide

3. Work with me one on one

4. Order my book on Amazon

5. Listen to the Podcast

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Becoming your true self is a journey that involves understanding who you are and being brave enough to show it. It’s about making choices that align with your own values and not just following what others expect of you. In today’s world, many of us struggle to stay true to ourselves because we’re constantly bombarded with opinions and expectations from others. We might find ourselves trapped in roles and identities created by the expectations and influences of those around us—especially our mothers. Many people live under the shadow of their upbringing, which can be exhausting and disempowering. However, this does not have to define our lives.

Being your true self can be challenging, even though it’s who you really are inside. The pressures to fit in, fear of disapproval, self-doubt, and breaking old habits can make it tough. However, taking steps toward your true self is worth it. We must realize that living authentically brings a sense of peace and fulfillment that can’t be found by trying to meet others' expectations. It means giving ourselves permission to explore our own interests and make choices that reflect our true desires and values. It involves saying no to things that don't align with your values to prioritize your own well-being even if it means facing criticism. 

In this episode, I will guide you through the journey of discovering and embracing your authentic self. We’ll look at how to let go of old habits shaped by past relationships and learn about your core values, needs, and feelings to create a life that truly represents who you are.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:01:13) Impact of conditioned identity

(00:03:03) What makes up your identity?

(00:04:28) Living your values

(00:06:27) Understanding your needs

(00:08:06) What are your preferences?

(00:09:03) Understand your emotion

(00:11:18) The importance of authentic identity

(00:14:31) Embrace authenticity without fear

(00:17:48) The power of creating a new identity

Key Takeaways: 

"Oftentimes we have selected values that we're not actually living by."– Jennifer Arnise

"Pretending to be someone that you're not, is exhausting and it turns you into a liar and a manipulator."– Jennifer Arnise

"When you reparent yourself, you become your true self. "– Jennifer Arnise

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

Support the show

Join my 6-Week Mother Wound Healing Course

How we can stay connected and work together!

1.Sign-up for my Mother Wound Group Healing Intensive

2.  Download my FREE Black Mother Wound Healing Guide

3. Work with me one on one

4. Order my book on Amazon

5. Listen to the Podcast

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“To trust oneself is the first step to truly living.” When we think about trust, we often focus on trusting others. However, one of the most important forms of trust is self-trust. Many of us struggle with self-trust, feeling uncertain about our decisions and abilities. This lack of trust often stems from our early relationships, particularly with our mothers. Growing up, seeking approval and guidance from our mothers is natural, but if this relationship is marked by control or criticism, it can leave us feeling incapable of making our own decisions.

Building self-trust starts with acknowledging our own strengths and capabilities. It involves making decisions, even small ones, and reflecting on their outcomes without excessive self-judgment. Each decision we make, successful or not, is an opportunity to learn and grow. Remember, self-trust is not an overnight transformation but a continuous journey. It takes self-compassion, practice, and consistent effort to build.

In this episode, I will explore the journey of learning to trust yourself and healing from the impact of a mother wound. I will break down why many of us struggle with trusting our own decisions and how this can deeply affect our lives.  

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:01:53) Self-trust is the cornerstone of healing

(00:03:47) How a mother’s trust shapes her child 

(00:05:09) The comfort zone trap

(00:08:01) How not trusting yourself leads to self-rejection

(00:10:20) Empower yourself through small decisions

(00:13:07) Overcoming childlike fears

(00:16:04)  Aligning your actions with your words

(00:18:42) Take care of yourself first

(00:23:53) The impact of shame on self-trust

Key Takeaways: 

“But why would you trust yourself if you have no track record of having a solid sense of integrity with yourself?"– Jennifer Arnise 

“When you start to take care of yourself, yourself starts to take care of you and that builds self-trust."– Jennifer Arnise
 
“Healing your mother wound is about having autonomy and that is impossible without self-trust."– Jennifer Arnise

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

Sign-up for the RESOLVE Mother Wound Healing Group Waitlist today!http://bit.ly/resolvewaitlist

Support the show

Join my 6-Week Mother Wound Healing Course

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Join my 6-Week Mother Wound healing course 

2.  Download my FREE Black Mother Wound Healing Guide

3. Work with me one on one

4. Order my book on Amazon

5. Listen to the Podcast

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We’ve heard a lot about how mothers sacrifice everything to fulfill society's expectations of them, despite the trauma they may carry. Every mother deserves respect and honor, especially from their children. However, we cannot expect them to be perfect in every way. There will always be shortcomings or mistakes along their parenting journey. Sometimes, children will disagree with their mothers about certain things, especially as they grow up.

In our society, there's a strong belief that disagreeing with our moms is always disrespectful or rebellious. It can make us feel like we're doing something terribly wrong, even sinful, leading to guilt and self-doubt. Thus, we must realize that disagreeing with our mothers doesn't mean we don't love or respect them. It means we're learning to think for ourselves and make decisions. Healing from this mother wound means setting healthy boundaries and choosing paths that support our well-being without feeling guilty. Remember, respect goes both ways, and part of that respect is allowing space for open communication and understanding.

In this episode, I will unravel the myths surrounding disagreeing with your mother, redefine what it means to honor our mothers while honoring ourselves, and explore how to approach disagreements with integrity and courage.


Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:46) The myth of disagreeing with your mother

(00:02:31) Unique challenges of the black mother wound

(00:03:43) A mother’s fear of losing control

(00:05:43) To disagree is to disrespect

(00:06:46) The price of speaking truth to our mothers

(00:09:43) What does respect truly entail?

(00:12:36) How can I honestly disagree with my mother?

(00:13:52) What will happen if you do things differently?

(00:16:27) A mother’s love will encourage independence

(00:19:14) How do I get her to see me?

(00:21:15) Feeling guilty is not guilty

(00:23:34) To disagree is to set your boundary


Key Takeaways:

"You cannot heal your life without your life-changing. You're going to have to do things differently."– Jennifer Arnise

"Feeling guilty is not guilty, it's a programming that you have in your mind that when you advocate for yourself you are wrong in any way."– Jennifer Arnise


DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing hea

Sign-up for the RESOLVE Mother Wound Healing Group Waitlist today!http://bit.ly/resolvewaitlist

Support the show

Join my 6-Week Mother Wound Healing Course