“Productivity Crash” is a term I made up for a phenomenon I see over and over again, where those of us who lived through trauma as children demonstrate a capacity for huge accomplishments -- but then they're followed by collapses in our ability to focus, be on time, or get anything done. It feels like someone took our batteries out! What is that? I’m bringing back here one of my most popular videos about why our productivity goes up, and then goes DOWN - and what you can do to get off the roller coaster, and function well every day.

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If you grew up with trauma, there's a high probability that you've become emotionally attached to people who bring trouble into your life. Either they are unavailable, not into you, inappropriate, or abusive. But the trouble with childhood PTSD is that it can leave you with a broken "red flag detector." Nervous system changes caused by early abuse and neglect can leave you with difficulty reading the intentions of people you meet, or whether they are safe. In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos about the relationship between past trauma and the difficulty many of us experience seeing red flags before we get attached to others -- and what you can do to heal.

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Living with your own self-defeating behaviors goes on so long sometimes, that when you even THINK of changing your life, you feel panicked. Many of us see what we need to change before we feel ready to take action. But be careful you don't stay frozen and stuck, waiting until you feel "ready." Soon your future starts to pull on you, drawing you forward, showing you what you must face, whether you feel ready to see it or not. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who grew up with trauma, and now, filled with a mix of hope and anger, is preparing to transform her life.

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It’s a terrible thing when parents ignore and neglect a child for whom attention, love and security are just as important as food and water and oxygen. If you grew up starved for comfort, you may find yourself now, as an adult, trying to make do in relationships where you get almost nothing back. And the hardest part is, you can’t let go. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman whose parents physically and emotionally abandoned her, and now she pines for a man who doesn't care for her at all.

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When you’ve lived through abuse, neglect, bullying, hardship and getting ostracized, it becomes hard to think. Your life gets chaotic. Your feelings overwhelm you. It’s hard to keep track of time or take proper care of yourself. And your space gets cluttered. What your wounded self is craving is *order,* where all the elements of your life can fall into place, into a flow that helps you to mentally and emotionally, function and to physically re-regulate. I’ll show you a simple exercise to get started with gently introducing order in your day, but first, I want to talk about the concept of order, and what it looks like when it’s not working. 

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Your mind plays tricks on you when you fall in love with someone who says flat out they don’t want a relationship. This absent character, present only as an electronic voice or a digital image but never as a real person at your side who loves you -- can be the perfect blank canvas for lament fantasies. “If only we could be together…” that’s what the limerent thinks, never doing the math to understand that the person clearly, openly strongly tells you that will never happen. In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos where I answer letters from people struggling with obsessive love and limerence.

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It’s easy to think that when a period of intense trauma in your life is over, you should be fine. But the trouble is, AFTER traumatic experiences you can be extremely vulnerable, not just to people who want to manipulate you, but to your own, trauma-driven pattern of self-deception. Healing takes time, and sometimes the gravity of your mistakes becomes real to you later. In this video, I respond to a woman searching for ways to overcome the guilt she feels in the aftermath of an affair.

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Everybody loves transformation stories where someone has a horrible life of struggle and addiction and trauma – and then ONE good thing happens and EVERYTHING is happy ever after. It sounds good on social media but does not help those of us who are trying to FREE ourselves from the trauma-driven problems of the past. In reality, the wounds of trauma are still there even after you begin changing your life. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who has worked hard to heal but feels lonely, hopeless, sad and angry. You might benefit from hearing my advice.

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Trauma during childhood can teach you to "give away your power" through self-destructive tendencies, people pleasing, and an urge to flee conflict, responsibility, and intimacy. To heal trauma, you need your POWER. Here, I share a hugely popular video from my archives on the steps to take to build the stamina, resilience and insight needed to sustain the work of healing Childhood PTSD.

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When we're talking about trauma, a "trigger" is a stimulus that sets off Childhood PTSD symptoms -- in particular, dysregulation. In this 4-video compilation I share four of my most popular videos about common - but often overlooked -- triggers that YOU may be experiencing now. When you learn to calm your triggers, your life gets freer and more choices are open to you.

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