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In the classic novel, Bright Lights Big City by Jay McInerney the narrator flashes back to the scene of his mother’s deathbed. Battling cancer, aware the end is near, she takes just enough pain medication to be uninhibited but still lucid.
The walls between parent and child fall away. They talk openly of the things they never managed to broach in life without embarrassment. They talk about sex. They talk about love. They talk about their fears and worries. They shared their insecurities, their feelings of inadequacies.
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You do many things for your children because you love them. You work hard to provide for them. You manage their education. You teach them the things they’ll need to know in life. You protect them–from others and themselves.
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Ryan talks about the stresses of parenting and how to remain grateful for the time that you have with your kids.
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This is just my personality, we say. I just don’t have any energy when I get home from work, we complain. I’m in a bad mood today, that’s all. My parents weren’t any different, and I turned out ok. It’s just a stressful period right now. They’re young, they won’t remember any of this.
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It can seem like parenting is a rather perilous thing, right? The statistics come at you like daggers to your heart–how many kids die each year in this kind of accident or that one, how many kids are injured doing this and that. The world feels so dangerous, so terrifying.
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It’s pretty widely agreed that too much of anything spoils a person. We read the cautionary tales of the rich families whose inheritance wrecks generations of offspring. We hear the sad stories of brothers and sisters torn apart trying to distribute their parents’ estate. Perhaps we look back on a childhood of our own, one where we wanted little in the material sense, but could have used a mom or a dad who was around more, who was tired less, who seemed to be so important to other people that they missed how important they were to us.
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It never looks good when it comes to us via an ESPN headline or a viral tweet. Ja Morant’s dad getting into a fight at one of his son’s games. OBJ’s dad causing drama for his son’s team via Twitter. LaVar Ball making ridiculous pronouncements about his sons’ promise as athletes…and as entrepreneurs.
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In 1929, William Alexander Percy’s favorite cousin died. Then just a few years later, he lost his mother. Then his cousin’s wife died and he lost his own father. He had wanted to be a poet. He had hoped to spend his days traveling the world, practicing law, enjoying his family’s wealth. Yet the confirmed bachelor found himself compelled by circumstances to adopt his cousin’s three boys: Walker (14), LeRoy (13) and Phin (9).
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Ryan talks to his friend and writing partner Nils Parker about why it's important to say no to things that you don't need to do, how important the time that you get to spend with your kids is, and more.
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Jimmy Carter was a pretty buttoned up guy. He was known, even under the stress of the Oval Office, to be remarkably poised. The angriest an aide ever saw him though, came over a last minute scheduling change. It wasn’t the poor communication that bothered him. It wasn’t that he was going to be late–something the ever punctual Carter despised. It was because the secretary had bumped Carter’s plans to take his daughter to the circus.
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