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On this weekend episode of the Daily Dad, Ryan talks with his wife Samantha on men having the conversation and creating the proper space for fatherhood.
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You send them to great schools. You make sure they do their homework. You drill them on their flashcards. You are saving for college. You are not going to let them set their sights low like you did, or maybe you won’t accept them getting into anywhere less prestigious than you did.
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There are a lot of things that don’t age well. Tattoos done late at night, on impulse. Trendy haircuts. Lots of things we think are important, that we chase hard will turn out not to matter much to us later. Things we fought about, argued about will seem silly in retrospect. Fears, you find, don’t age well either–the things we worry about will become smaller the further we get from them.
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The house is noisy. It is messy. It is expensive, and not easy to maintain. It’s filled with toys, and sharp Legos that you step on in the middle of the night. It’s dirty. It’s got one obligation after another.
And yet it’s wonderful…so, so wonderful. The whole job of it. The whole mess of it. “We must think of ourselves as ministers and priests in our own house as in a temple,” the Stoic philosopher Hierocles once said, “chosen and consecrated to nature itself.”
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Your career used to be the only thing you had. It was just you. You had your ambitions. You had as many hours as there were in the day. And you were willing to work–incredibly hard, do anything–to get ahead.
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If you had an early flight, you’d get up no problem. If you had a chance to go see old friends or your favorite band, you’d stay up late without even thinking about it.
But your kids wake you up early or cut into sleep? Ugh! You’re full of complaints.
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“This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/dailydad and get on your way to being your best self.”
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On this episode of the Daily Dad Podcast, Ryan talks to Casey Neistat about the discipline you have after having kids and building better parenting routines through stoicism.
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Each of us, no matter how old or successful, has things we wish we knew how to do. We wish we could speak another language, or change the oil in our own car, or play the guitar. It’s not that we aren’t up for learning these things now—more so even than when we were young—but it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks, as they say, even when the dog wants to learn.
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“This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/dailydad and get on your way to being your best self.”
Yes, it’s not good to be late. Yes, you’ve got places to go. You’ve got emails to respond to. You were hoping to get a workout in today. You were hoping to have a few minutes to relax on the couch.
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After having kids, every parent quickly realizes just how much less freedom they have. Your schedule is different. Your sleep is different. What you can watch on TV is different. Where you can live is different. Kids are, as we’ve said, a dose of unavoidable reality–a reality where you are indisputably, almost laughably not in charge.
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