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Imagine that you’re gone and able to look down now and see your kids from above. Or imagine that somehow you had magical powers and could see inside their heads and read their thoughts. What is it that you would never want them to witness? What is it that you would never want them to feel?
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“This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/dailydad and get on your way to being your best self.”
The thing about having kids is that it’s so fleeting. They grow up so fast, as we’ve said before. They are in a constant process of leaving you, leaving who they were. And scarier still, as the last few years have shown, is that life is unpredictable and even tragic.
No one is here forever. Things can change in a tragic instant.
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Marriage is hard. Perhaps yours is especially hard. You both work very hard…or maybe only one of you works hard and that’s the problem. Perhaps one of you has worked very hard on this relationship and the other hasn’t. Perhaps it’s been a very long time, perhaps you’ve drifted very far apart. Maybe you’re bored. Maybe you’re just tired.
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“This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/dailydad and get on your way to being your best self.”
There’s all these things we want to make sure our kids learn. We agonize over which school to put them in, what their grades are. We try to interest them in the right career, try to fire up their ambition. You push them to play sports, you teach them an instrument, you send them to summer camps. You read a thousand parenting books, you try all the latest strategies.
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On this weekend episode of the Daily Dad, Ryan talks with his wife Samantha on unavoidable reality, flexibility within their household, and creating space in your life for your love ones.
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It’s been this way for a long time. Parents who ignored their kids. Parents who were too busy working, surviving, to be there emotionally. Parents who drank. Parents who pushed too hard, who asked too much. It’s been generations of this, it is the human story, written in the private lives of families, written in the history books, explaining so much of why we are the way we are.
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Sometimes just a title, just a concept can be enough. Wherever You Go There You Are is a great book…and a great mantra. The Obstacle is The Way, and Ego is the Enemy were intended to have a similar effect. Even if you don’t crack the covers, just the concept is enough to provide a little guidance.
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Nothing keeps us up, nothing haunts us like the thought that something could happen to our kids. We dread even the good things that take them away from us, moving out, going to college, that job across the country.
But there is, in this fear, a certain ingratitude, isn’t there? Not just for the present moment in front of us that we are neglecting, but for all the wonderful things we’ve already gotten to do–with our kids, with our spouse, with all of us together.
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There are a lot of kids out there. There are fewer parents. Not just because most families have more than one child, but because unfortunately, tragically, not everyone who has a kid decides to be a parent.
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