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There is an inherent tension, a conflict of visions even, at the heart of every family. They want to live happy, fulfilling, interesting lives, and as the parent…you want nothing bad to ever happen to them. Sure, you want them to be happy and have fun, but most of all, more than anything, you want them to be safe.
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It was a timeless scene, one that might have happened in your house just this past afternoon. The kids are playing with bubbles. They are laughing and yelling. Blowing and darting around trying to pop them. Finding the most wonderful joy in the simple magic of soap and air.
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Do you know the story of Cincinnatus? He was a Roman general who had retired to his farm until he was called to rescue his country from an invasion. Made dictator in these desperate times, he had unlimited power, which he used to save the empire… only to immediately relinquish the power and return to his farm.
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On this weekend episode of the Daily Dad, Ryan shares an article from a Father's Day read from The Free Press on the upstream choices we have to make and continuing to do less as parents with discipline and trade offs.
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Being two minutes late to school. The fourth discussion about cleaning up before company comes over. The grouchy tone. The broken vase. The mischief with their friends. The I told you to turn off the iPad and come help me downstairs!!!!
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It’s a good reminder, one that we can zip past too easily because we’re busy, because we have so much on our plate: You only get 18 years with your kids. It’s a reminder not just to soak in the time you have with them, but to make sure you’re really parenting in those 18 years. Because soon enough they’ll be gone, they’ll be living with someone else, listening to someone else.
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Almost every talented and successful person can remember their introduction to whatever it was that became their thing. In Mastery, Robert Greene explores countless examples of this beautiful process by which some of the world’s most notable experts discovered their “life’s task.” He talks about Martha Graham’s first time watching a dance performance, for example, and he tells the story of the compass that Albert Einstein’s father gave him as a present when he was five years old:
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As a society, we have very attuned ears for what words are offensive. There are words that religious people find offensive. There are the words that collectively we have decided are hurtful…as well as the words various groups are trying to get people to understand are potentially hurtful.
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It would be wonderful if it ever eased up, but it doesn’t. You worried when they were in the womb, and here you are all these years later, still worrying. Are they doing ok? Are they getting enough nutrients? Is something going to happen to them? Are they happy?
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On this weekend episode of the Daily Dad, Ryan talks about the straw that breaks the camel's back and relaxing the impulse to force things.
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