In this episode, Kate is joined by Andrew G Marshall, a therapist and writer, to discuss the most common mistakes to avoid when separating.

 About the episode: 

Kate and Andrew begin the episode by looking at Andrew’s motivations for becoming a therapist, following his personal experience of family members’ divorce as a child. Andrew explains the importance of communication both during a relationship and after it ends. They role-play a typical scenario separating couples find themselves in, and how to de-escalate emotionally-charged conversations. Andrew gives some great tips on creating distance so you can choose to respond and not react. Kate and he explore common mistakes people make when separating, including rushing the ending, seeing divorce as the magic bullet and ‘switching off’ or emotionally ‘checking out’ pre-separation. They end by talking about Andrew’s upcoming retreat and who it can help. This is a fantastic episode, whether you’re in the midst of a separation or want to improve the health of your relationship by learning new communication skills.

About our guest:

Andrew G Marshall is a marital therapist with 40 years of experience helping couples make better relationships (or if they separate, to be good co-parents). He originally trained with RELATE, the UK's largest counselling charity, but now leads a team of therapists in private practice. He is the author of twenty-plus books which have been translated into over twenty languages - including the international bestseller 'I love you but I'm not in love with you'. He is the host of the award-nominated podcast 'The Meaningful Life with Andrew G Marshall' and this autumn will lead a retreat near Berlin for men seeking to 'Reconnect with Yourself'. 

More resources:

You can learn more about Andrew G Marshall on his website. There, you can register to attend his upcoming retreat for men, listen to his award-nominated podcast and even access his video course to learn about Andrew’s best relationship tools. 

You can also get in touch with amicable for more information on the legal, financial and parenting aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert today. 

We'd love to know how we can help you further. Share your questions on divorce, separation and co-parenting with us at [email protected] . They might just be the topic of a future episode!

#EmotionalJourney

In this episode, Kate is joined by Ben Atherton, a financial planning expert from Octopus Money, to share his top five money-saving tips post-divorce or separation. For many couples, one person might have handled more of the financial planning, and the other might feel unsure about where to start - particularly around securing their financial futures and setting achievable goals for their new priorities. No matter what journey you’re on, Ben’s tips will help build your financial literacy. 

About the episode:

Budgeting might seem like the last thing you want to be doing when emotions are running high – but a little thought and planning now can be a big help in the long term. With that in mind, Ben shares his top five tips on how to plan for future finances during in this challenging period. Tune in to learn how to redefine your relationship with money and get some practical tools for financial management.

About our guest:

Ben Atherton is a Senior Paraplanner within the Advice Team at Octopus Money and his role is to look at the current financial situation of our clients, including any pensions, savings or investments which they might have and review them to establish if they are ‘fit for purpose’ i.e. are they helping them reach their financial goals and objectives.

Ben has worked for Octopus Money since April 2024 but have been helping people with their finances since 2017, having worked for a small independent firm and a larger advice practice in the past. 

More resources:

You can learn more about financial planning on Octopus Money website. For help with updating your will, you can reach out to Octopus Legacy. You can learn more about the benefits you might be entitled to at Turn2us, and for help with tracking your childcare expenses, you can download amicable co-parenting app. Finally, you can read our post-divorce checklist here.

We'd love to know how we can help you further. Share your questions on divorce, separation and co-parenting with us at [email protected], through direct messages on Instagram or by starting a new forum thread on amicable’s advice forum. They might just be the topic of a future episode!

You can also get in touch with amicable for more information on the legal, financial and parenting aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert today. 

#Finances

In this episode, Kate is joined by Christopher Gillard, chef and writer, to discuss how cooking can help rebuild your life post-divorce.

 About the episode: 

The episode starts with Chris opening up about his separation story and the unexpected discoveries like pet-sitting and newfound love for cooking that inspired him to write his book ‘The Divorced Man's Kitchen Survival Guide’. He also explains how visiting different kitchens led him to formulate a ‘recipe’ of essential tools & ingredients that everyone needs to cook up a fresh start post-divorce. Kate and Chris discuss why his self-care book and practical guidance are particularly important for men, and how nutritious cooking can help you get through a tough time and come out better than ever. They finish off by giving some actionable tips on how to improve your cooking habits, like planning smarter food shops and choosing to embrace imperfection when things don’t go as planned.

About our guest:

Christopher H Gillard is a qualified chef, professional writer, photographic artist, filmmaker and a tech entrepreneur with over two decades experience in communications and innovative technology development. He also happens to be a divorcee who suddenly had to rebuild his life from the ground up in 2019 - no job, no money, no home and two little girls to look after. Chris’s background as a professional chef combined with over 20 years in creative communications and tech innovation provided him with crucial skills and experience needed to successfully navigate the hardest period of his life. It led him to his accidental recipe for renewal and the subsequent creation of his book. In The Divorced Man's Kitchen Survival Guide, Chris is sharing his story and learnings in the hope of helping others, everywhere.

More resources:

You can get in touch with Chris on LinkedIn and you can buy his book The Divorced Man's Kitchen Survival Guide on Amazon

You can also get in touch with amicable for more information on the legal, financial and parenting aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert today. 

We'd love to know how we can help you further. Share your questions on divorce, separation and co-parenting with us at [email protected] . They might just be the topic of a future episode!

#LifeAfterDivorce

In the previous episode of The Divorce Podcast, Kate spoke to Cate Campbell about navigating intimacy when living together post-separation. In this episode, Kate wanted to delve deeper into another common challenge when it comes to sex and relationships – infidelity. What is it, why does it happen, and what can we do afterwards? 

About the episode:

Kate begins by explaining what ‘infidelity’ is and why there is no clear definition for it. She also shares some fascinating statistics on how often adultery causes marriages to end and gives us three main reasons as to why that happens. She finishes off with some advice for forgiveness, moving on and getting closure if the infidelity has occurred. 

Please be aware that this episode contains sexual references, so you might want to listen out of earshot of any children.

More resources:

We'd love to know how we can help you further. Share your questions on divorce, separation and co-parenting with us at [email protected], through direct messages on Instagram or by starting a new forum thread on amicable’s advice forum. They might just be the topic of a future episode!

You can also get in touch with amicable for more information on the legal, financial and parenting aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert today. 

#EmotionalJourney

In this episode, I am joined by an award-winning author, Cate Campbell, to discuss intimacy, whether trial separations are a good idea, and boundaries while living together post-separation. 

About the episode:

Kate and Cate begin by discussing what intimacy might look like for ex-partners, especially for those who have separated but are still living together. We also explore how boundaries might be set in those situations. We then move on to discussing break-up sex, its causes and consequences, and how to have a mature conversation about it afterwards. We also touch upon ‘trial separations’ and why they might be unhealthy for you and your ex-partner. We finish by exploring boundaries with your family and friends after a split, and how little daily rituals can help you get through a tough time. 

Please be aware that this episode contains sexual references so you might want to listen out of earshot of any children.

About our guests:

Cate Campbell is a psychotherapist, supervisor and trainer specialising in relationships and trauma, working with individuals, couples and families. She is accredited by the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP), College of Sexual & Relationship Therapists (COSRT) and is an EMDR Europe. consultant. She is the author of The Relate Guide to Sex & Intimacy, Love & Sex in a New Relationship, Contemporary Sex Therapy and Sex Therapy: The Basics.

More resources:

You can learn more about Cate on her website and you can get in touch with her via email - [email protected] 

We'd love to know how we can help you further. Share your questions on divorce, separation and co-parenting with us at [email protected]. They might just be the topic of a future episode!

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and parenting aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert today

#LifeAfterDivorce

In this episode, Kate is joined by Dr Sarah Foley, a Lecturer in Developmental Psychology at the University of Edinburgh. They explore her current research on children’s relationships with their parents in different post-separation child arrangements. Sarah talks about why this research is important and how you can get involved.

About our guests:

Dr Sarah Foley is a Lecturer in Developmental Psychology at the University of Edinburgh. Her research explores parent-child relationships and the psychological wellbeing of family members across diverse family forms (e.g., elective co-parents, those created through assisted reproductive technologies, LGBTQIA+ parent-headed families) and transitions (e.g., becoming a parent, separation or divorce). Her current research is exploring children’s relationships with their parents, adjustment and experiences of different post-separation child arrangements in England and Scotland. This is funded by an Economic and Social Research Council (ESRC) New Investigators Grant. She completed her PhD at the Centre for Family Research, University of Cambridge.

More resources:

You can register to take part in Sarah’s study here, and you can learn a bit more about this study on the University of Edinburgh’s website. 

For more support with co-parenting, amicable offer Separating With Children Service as well as an app for all your childcare arrangements and communications. 

We'd love to know how we can help you further. Share your questions on divorce, separation and co-parenting with us at [email protected], through direct messages on Instagram or by starting a new forum thread on amicable’s advice forum. They might just be the topic of a future episode!

Thanks for listening - here’s 3 months of the amicable co-parenting app for free! Open this link on your phone, install the app and create your account. Once that’s done, select 'I have a promo code' when setting up your family, enter PODCAST, press ‘apply’ and enjoy staying organised together.

#Coparenting

In this episode, Kate is joined by Andrew Keefe, a Psychodynamic Psychotherapist and Pilates Teacher, to discuss how Pilates can support you during divorce and aid your recovery afterward. Andrew shares the science of trauma, how the nervous system functions under stress and why Pilates is an effective tool to help with the emotional aftermath of a relationship breakdown. 

About the episode:

Kate and Andrew begin by exploring what trauma means in the context of divorce and the physical and mental symptoms it can trigger. Andrew explains the biological responses that often occur during and after a traumatic event like separation and how the controlled movements and breathing techniques at the core of Pilates can help soothe these reactions. He also shares other practical strategies for coping with divorce and separation, including simple breathing exercises, the importance of releasing tension in the body and how to build a supportive network.

About our guest:

Andrew Keefe is a Psychodynamic Psychotherapist, EMDR Therapist, Pilates Teacher and Personal Trainer (Level 4, Lower Back Pain Specialist.) He works with mind and body to help people recover from trauma and trauma / stress-related Chronic Lower Back Pain. Andrew has been a therapist for twenty-five years, including sixteen years of clinical work with traumatised refugees and survivors of torture. He now works in private practice in Holborn and East London, specialising in working with people living with the traumatic effects of childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, abusive relationships, birth trauma, violence and chronic lower back pain. He also uses fitness sessions and Pilates to help people recover their mental wellbeing.

More resources:

You can learn more about Andrew and his work on his website

We'd love to know how we can help you further. Share your questions on divorce, separation and co-parenting with us at [email protected]. They might just be the topic of a future episode!

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and parenting aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert today.

#LifeAfterDivorce

As part of Mental Health Awareness week, today Kate answers a listener's question all about ‘divorce anxiety’. Divorce and separation are never easy, whether amicable or not. As a relationship counsellor and a divorcee herself, Kate shares some tips to help you cope when you feel overwhelmed by worry during this time.    

About the episode:

Kate begins by explaining what ‘divorce anxiety’ is and how fear of the unknown is often at the root of common worries and concerns, especially at the beginning of the divorce process. She then shares four top tips to help you protect your mental health during this tricky time – and start the divorce process on the right foot.

More resources:

Struggling emotionally? Explore our partners at Betterhelp for therapy or counselling support. You can also reach out to your GP or mental health charities like Mind or Samaritans.  

We'd love to know how we can help you further. Share your questions on divorce, separation and co-parenting with us at [email protected], through direct messages on Instagram or by starting a new forum thread on amicable’s advice forum. They might just be the topic of a future episode!

You can also get in touch with amicable for more information on the legal, financial and parenting aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert today. 

#EmotionalJourney

In this episode, host Kate is joined by Dr Samantha Gaines, Head of the RSPCA’s Companion Animals Science and Policy department, and Carol Harte, Divorce Specialist at amicable, to debunk some common myths about separating with pets.

About the episode:

Kate, Carol and Samantha break down common myths about pet ownership during separation or divorce. They explain the legal realities, the emotional impact on pets – whether it’s a dog, cat or even a hamster – and share practical tips to help pets adjust to new routines. You'll also learn how to spot signs your pet might be struggling, and what to do if neither you nor your ex can care for them after your divorce or separation.

About our guests:

Dr Samantha Gaines is Head of the RSPCA’s Companion Animals Science and Policy department. She leads a specialist team who use evidence to advocate for good lives for companion, working and sporting animals through corporate and government policy change and human behaviour change. She is the lead on a variety of issues including dog control, racing greyhounds and dogs kept for working purposes. 

Prior to working at the RSPCA, Sam worked as a research scientist for the Defence Science and Technology Laboratory. She managed various projects studying the behaviour, performance and welfare of working dogs. She has an MSc in applied animal behaviour and welfare as well as a PhD from Bristol University, where she studied the effects of housing and husbandry on the welfare of kennelled dogs.

Carol Harte is a Divorce Specialist at amicable and holds decades of experience in global change management, project negotiation and training. Having embarked on a career change to become an accredited family mediator, Carol aims to support separating parents and pet parents in their transition to being successful co-parents.

More resources:

You can find more advice on how to improve your pet’s welfare on the RSPCA website. 

We'd love to know how we can help you further. Share your questions on divorce, separation and co-parenting with us at [email protected]. They might just be the topic of a future episode!

You can also get in touch with amicable for more information on the legal, financial and parenting aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert today. 

Thanks for listening - here’s 3 months of the amicable co-parenting app for free! Open this link on your phone, install the app and create your account. Once that’s done, select 'I have a promo code' when setting up your family, enter PODCAST, press ‘apply’ and enjoy staying organised together.

#Pets

This week, Kate is going behind the headlines of Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola and his ex-partner Cristina Serra’s divorce. Reports claim they’re using the ‘one lawyer, one couple’ approach to end their marriage while staying on good terms.

About the episode:

Kate breaks down the top three benefits of a collaborative divorce, using Pep Guardiola’s separation as an example. She explains who this approach works best for, and explores whether amicable divorces really are as rare as the media makes out  – or if they’re becoming the norm.

More resources:

We'd love to know how we can help you further. Share your questions on divorce, separation and co-parenting with us at [email protected]. They might just be the topic of a future episode!

You can also get in touch with amicable for more information on the legal, financial and parenting aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert today.