The Feminist Dating Show

Did you know you're most attractive when you are authentically you? Well, that's precisely what this week's guest, Therapy Jeff, says! Jeff Guenther, known as Therapy Jeff, joins Lily for a conversation about the intricacies of modern dating, the evolution of therapy in the age of social media, and authentic self-expression.

Therapy Jeff's insights on modern dating and mental health are a breath of fresh air. In a world saturated with dating advice and unrealistic expectations, his book, 'Big Dating Energy,' offers a refreshing perspective: that lasting love stems from embracing one's authentic self. In an era of self-doubt and comparison, Jeff reminds us that we are inherently lovable and deserving of genuine connection.

We get into:

• What dating advice/problems/framing Jeff's book, Big Dating Energy, aims to solve
• Addressing beliefs like "It's my fault, or I'm not good enough."
• The idea of feminine and masculine energy and the notion of "not being in your feminine enough."
• Cognitive overload and how to get in touch with your intention when using social media or dating apps

Links:

Lily's book, Thank You More Please, is available for preorder right now and you can grab it and the preorder bonuses with this link!

Jeff's book, Big Dating EnergyTherapy Jeff's websiteTherapy Jeff on TikTokTherapy Jeff on Instagram

Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/big-dating-energy-with-therapy-jeff

Nervous about sending a DM to a cutie or asking somebody on a date? If you answered yes, then this week's episode is for you. Lily explores the mindset shifts and practical steps needed to step out of your comfort zone and shoot your shot! Whether it's sliding into those DMs or asking someone out face-to-face, this episode is your guide to overcoming the nerves and getting what you want.

Grab your pen and paper, and get ready to take notes. By the end of this episode, you'll be ready to revolutionize your approach to dating. Asking for more of what you want leads to more of what you desire. This episode is part strategy and part hype. You've got this and Lily's got your back!

You'll learn:

• "The only thing separating you from getting what you want is your willingness to ask for it out loud."
• Shooting your shot is about giving your permission to be the main character of your story
• How to get over the paralyzing fear of asking for what you want
• The role permission, self-trust, and courageous action play when shooting your shot
• It's not about doing it perfectly. It's about doing the thing.
• Your job is to pursue what you want, trust your desire, and take messy, courageous action toward those desires.

Links:

Pre-order Lily's upcoming book, Thank You, More Please!

Show notes:

http://datebrazen.com/blog/shooting-your-shot-challenge

We're diving into the intersection of body liberation, white supremacy, and dating with the incredible Jessica Wilson, MS. RD. As the author of "It's Always Been Ours: Rewriting the Story of Black Women's Bodies," Jessica brings her expertise as a dietitian, storyteller, and community organizer to the forefront. Together, Lily and Jessica explore the interplay between shrinking our bodies in response to white supremacy and shrinking our desires, unpacking how Black and Brown women can reclaim their body liberation and prioritize care in the dating world.

We get into:

• The interplay between shrinking our bodies in response to white supremacy and shrinking our desires
• Jessica's view on how Black and Brown women can reclaim their body liberation and prioritize care in the process of putting themselves out there in dating
• "Your body is not the problem,"
• Spaces to seek out body liberation support and community
• How do we set boundaries for those, not on the same page or path with body liberation?
• Jessica's favorite moment of Black Joy since writing her book

Links:

Pre-order Lily's upcoming book, Thank You, More Please!

Jessica's website

Jessica's book, It's Always Been Ours

Show notes:

http://datebrazen.com/blog/body-liberation-dating-and-black-joy-with-jessica-wilson

Trigger warning: This episode contains mentions of suicide. You are worthy. If you need more convincing, this week's episode is not to miss. Tara Schuster, author of Glow in the F*cking Dark: Simple Practices to Heal Your Soul from Someone Who Learned the Hard Way, joins Lily on the show! In the book and throughout this conversation, Tara shares practical steps to liberate yourself from emotional suffering, heal your past, and own your future.

Tara served as Vice President of Talent and Development at Comedy Central, where she was the executive in charge of critically acclaimed shows such as the Emmy and Peabody Award–winning Key & Peele, the Emmy® Award winning @Midnight (now After Midnight on CBS) amongst many others. Over the last twelve years, Tara has spent her "10,000 hours" on the other side of the couch studying philosophy, therapies, religions, and even memoirs of the adults she admired so that she could find emotional freedom from a neglectful and psychologically abusive childhood. Lily and Tara get into:

• "It's not magic having a different life. You can't sit back and wait for it to happen; you have to work for it."
• What inspired Tara to write Glow in the F*cking Dark and its mission: the practice of finding your essential self.
• Thoughts and advice for overcoming lack of self-trust and self-criticism
• Tara shares her self-compassion party trick!
• How Tara got to a place to make decisions rooted in her own best interest, especially in dating

Links:

Pre-order Lily's upcoming book, Thank You, More Please!

Get Instant Access to Creating a Confident and Joyful-as-fuck Dating Life That Makes the Right Relationship Inevitable

Glow in the F*cking Dark, Tara Schuster

Tara's website

Tara on Instagram

The Loveland Foundation

Show notes:

http://datebrazen.com/blog/glow-in-the-dark-with-tara-schuster

Are you tired of swiping left and right, endlessly scrolling through dating apps, hoping to find a genuine connection? In this episode, Lily welcomes Maxine Simone Williams, the creative powerhouse behind a New York City-based initiative, We Met IRL, reshaping how people meet and mingle, diving deep into the world of speed dating and real-life encounters.

Maxine shares her journey of building We Met IRL and why her speed dating events make dating fun again. Plus, Lily and Maxine tackle common dating concerns like handling rejection at speed dating events or overcoming social barriers for the shy and introverted.

Tune into this episode as Lily and Maxine journey beyond the screens, where in-person connections thrive.

They get into:

• Dating assumptions that these events challenge - making dating fun again!

• Are dating apps the only way people are meeting people?

• Instagram vs Phone Number: what to give out when meeting IRL

• What if nobody chooses me at speed dating

• How to go about meeting people in real life or speed-dating if you are shy or introverted

Links:

Pre-order Lily's upcoming book, Thank You, More Please!

Get Instant Access to Creating a Confident and Joyful-as-fuck Dating Life That Makes the Right Relationship Inevitable

We Met IRL on TikTok @wemetirl

We Met IRL on Instagram @wemetirl

Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/speed-dating-with-maxine-simone-williams

Are you striving to let go of the wrong people? What if we told you that the extent to which you're willing to bless and release the wrong people is directly linked to your path toward the right relationship? In this episode, Lily reveals her strategy for blessing and releasing the wrong people in your life, enabling your mind to shift its focus towards the right connections for you.

"Blessing and releasing" is a radical step towards fulfilling your desires. So, grab your note-taking tools because this episode is full of practical how-to's on this transformative process.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Having people in your life who are not suitable for you is about the underlying fear that what you want is not possible or not worthy of what you want. That is worthy of your curiosity and compassion.

• Categories of when to bless and release (B&R) someone

• Different levels of connection deserve a different approach to blessing and releasing.

• Tips for outlining a B&R moment for a breakup

• Lily breaks down an incomplete roster of individuals to bless and release, including: the stonewaller, the Eeyore, the most intense human, and the pen-pal.

• Reflection questions to help you determine if you need to bless and release someone

• Text and out loud scripts for B&R like "Hey, thanks for hanging. I'm not feeling a romantic connection, wish you the best."

Links: Pre-order Lily's upcoming book, Thank You, More Please!

124. The "Thank You, More, Please!" Challenge!

Radical Alignment, Alexandra Jamieson and Bob Gower

Show notes:

http://datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-bless-and-release-the-wrong-people

Today, get ready to geek out with us on the podcast! We're thrilled to have Faith Hill, a staff writer at The Atlantic, joining Lily for an insightful conversation about research and its cultural impact on dating. We get into topics like dating dynamics, dating yourself, social connections, and being single.

Together, Lily and Faith dive into Faith's latest articles about exploring love, dating, and the complexities of singlehood. What's particularly captivating about Faith's writing is how she addresses those burning questions that naturally arise as you delve into the research she shares.

Tune in for a chat that sheds light on the intriguing intersection where love, society, and human connections meet! 🎙️✨

We get into:

• Dating culture and its problematic value of coupled people over singles

• What the research showed regarding dating "spark vs. slow burn."

• The assumption that we'll be happier in a relationship

• The emotions that get stirred up when examining this statement, "As your friends get coupled, it could feel like a ghost town."

• Hot-take: "Spending all your time with your partner is not great for your relationship or friendships."

• Allowing for messy intimacy with friendships or partners

• Perception and feelings about solo dating: how to release the narrative that taking yourself on a date means you are lonely, and how to bring more pleasure to solo time

• Hot-take: "Solitude is not antithetical to connection."

Links:

Pre-order Lily's upcoming book, Thank You, More Please!

130. How to find and create "exhale" friendships with Blake Blankenbecler

173. Fighting for our friendships with Danielle Bayard Jackson

Faith's articles referenced in this episode:

No, You Shouldn't 'Date 'Em 'Til You Hate 'Em' https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2023/11/awkward-modern-dating-the-spark/676039/

Don't let love take over your life https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2023/09/relationship-balance-love-friendship-autonomy/675321/

Take yourself on a date! https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/12/seeing-movies-alone-solo-date-in-public/672363/

Show notes:

http://datebrazen.com/blog/research-cultural-impact-of-dating

Doors to this round of The Brazen Breakthrough close 2/23/24 @ midnight EST.

Here's the LINK TO JOIN US.

If you're catching this after the fact, then add your name to the waitlist with the link above.

Doors to this round of The Brazen Breakthrough close 2/23/24 @ midnight EST.

Here's the LINK TO JOIN US.

If you're catching this after the fact, then add your name to the waitlist with the link above.

Doors to this round of The Brazen Breakthrough close 2/23/24 @ midnight EST.

Here's the LINK TO JOIN US.

If you're catching this after the fact, then add your name to the waitlist with the link above.