What happens when you want sex more often than your partner—or when your partner seems to want it more than you do?
In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John is joined by Guy Counseling contributing writer Jack for a candid conversation about mismatched sex drives in relationships.
They explore why differences in sexual desire are so common and why they don't necessarily mean there's something wrong with your relationship. The conversation also gets into stress and libido, feeling rejected when your partner says no, and an important distinction that often gets overlooked: wanting sex and being comfortable initiating sex aren't necessarily the same thing.
John and Jack also tackle a question plenty of couples probably wonder about but may not talk about openly: Can masturbation help when partners have different sex drives, and where does adult video fit into the picture?
Other topics include scheduling intimacy, sexual "accelerators" and "brakes," nonsexual touch, emotional safety, and approaching sex as an invitation rather than a demand.
📚 Book Recommendation
The Sex-Starved Marriage by Michele Weiner-Davis
Dr. John recommends this book for its real-world look at couples struggling with significant differences in sexual desire and the ways those differences can affect intimacy and relationships.
Amazon: https://amzn.to/4hEUzoL
As an Amazon Associate, we may earn from qualifying purchases.
🔗 Resources & Further Reading
How to Handle Mismatched Libidos in a Relationship — AskMen The article that helped spark today's conversation, exploring desire discrepancies and ways couples can navigate them.
https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/how-to-handle-mismatched-libidos-in-a-relationship.html
How Stress Can Lead to Low Libido — Verywell Mind More about the relationship between chronic stress and reduced sexual desire.
https://www.verywellmind.com/how-stress-can-lead-to-low-libido-3145029
Why Your Girlfriend Never Initiates Sex — Guy Counseling Dr. John explores why rarely initiating sex doesn't necessarily mean someone lacks sexual desire or attraction.
My girlfriend never initiates sex
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What does it actually look like when a man has his life in order?
In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore draws on more than two decades of clinical experience in men's work to break down ten habits shared by men who are genuinely grounded — not the Instagram version, but the real thing.
From defining success on your own terms to protecting your sleep, maintaining friendships, and knowing when to ask for help, these are the habits that hold up under pressure. Dr. John draws on his clinical experience as a licensed therapist in Chicago to bring each one to life with honesty, humor, and a few unexpected detours along the way.
Whether you're already doing a few of these or starting from scratch, this episode offers a practical roadmap you can begin using this week.
Sponsor
The Men's Self-Help Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Head to https://betterhelp.com/guycounseling to get 10% off your first month of therapy.
Resources Mentioned
Some of the links below are affiliate links. If you make a qualifying purchase through one of these links, Guy Counseling may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping support the independent production of this podcast.
Contact (1997) — Trailer
Referenced in the discussion of Habit 2, keeping promises to yourself. Directed by Robert Zemeckis and starring Jodie Foster.
Watch the trailer on YouTube
The Insomnia Breakthrough by Katherine Coleman
Recommended in the discussion of Habit 4, protecting your sleep. Dr. John has recommended this book to clients over the years with strong results.
https://amzn.to/4fVTVC0
The Harvard Study of Adult Development
Referenced in the discussion of Habit 7, maintaining relationships. This long-running study has followed participants across decades and has highlighted the importance of strong relationships for long-term health and well-being.
Learn more about the Harvard Study of Adult Development
Thought Court Worksheet
Want to challenge an unhelpful thought and look at it from a more balanced perspective? Dr. John created a free Thought Court worksheet you can download and use on your own. The accompanying Guy Counseling guide walks you through the exercise step by step.
No signup. No email address. No strings attached. Just grab it and use it if it's helpful.
👉 https://guycounseling.com/thought-court-cbt-exercise/
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Disclaimer
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed professional for individualized support.
Production Notes
Written and produced by Dr. John Moore, with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording, voice models, and synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.
