THE MEN'S SELF HELP PODCAST

Have you ever shared a goal, dream, or idea with someone only to have them immediately tell you why it won't work?

Maybe you've been told you're not smart enough, talented enough, experienced enough, attractive enough, or capable enough. Or maybe you have someone in your life who seems to find something negative to say about almost everything you're trying to accomplish.

In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores how other people's negativity can slowly become part of your own internal dialogue — and what you can do to stop that from happening.

Using personal stories, psychology, humor, and practical examples, John shares five principles for protecting your mindset without falling into the trap of simply ignoring every person who disagrees with you.

You'll learn why it's important to ask whether negative feedback is actually true, how to separate useful criticism from somebody else's crap, and why another person's cynicism may sometimes say more about their experiences than your potential.

You'll also discover why negativity can become contagious, why new goals sometimes need protection before they need publicity, and how to stop internalizing messages that were never yours to begin with.

• How to ask yourself whether negative feedback is actually true

• The difference between constructive feedback and destructive criticism

• Why some people respond negatively when someone around them begins changing

• How chronic negativity can influence your own thinking

• Why you should be careful who gets access to a dream while it's still developing

• The idea of "build before you broadcast"

• How social media can keep us so busy being influenced that we forget to influence ourselves

• Why you don't have to internalize somebody else's bitterness, cynicism, or regret

• Freud's psychosexual stages and the concept of an anal-expulsive personality

• A listener question about social anxiety, self-consciousness, and replaying conversations afterward

• Why using alcohol as "liquid courage" in social situations can become problematic

• Practical ways to move attention away from yourself during socially anxious moments

• Why feeling awkward doesn't necessarily mean you looked awkward

The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook by Martin M. Antony and Richard P. Swinson

A practical workbook using cognitive-behavioral strategies to help people better understand and work through shyness and social anxiety.

See Amazon for price

Freud's Psychosexual Stages of Development Simply Psychology https://www.simplypsychology.org/psychosexual.html

Quick Overview of Chicago's Metropolitan Correctional Center A short YouTube video offering a quick overview of the Metropolitan Correctional Center in downtown Chicago. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rThWng-X6c8

The Power of No: How to Say No Without Guilt Learn why saying no can feel so difficult and how clearer boundaries can help you stop organizing your life around other people's expectations. https://guycounseling.com/say-no-without-guilt/

I decide which voices I allow to shape my life. Someone else's negativity does not have to become my reality. I protect my dreams, my hopes and my light.

Remember: somebody else gets to have an opinion about you. You get to decide whether you make that opinion your reality.

Don't let somebody else's negativity infect your positivity.

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health counseling.

This episode may include paid sponsorships or affiliate links. If you make a purchase, sign up for a service, or take another qualifying action through one of these links, The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive compensation at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Sponsors and recommended resources may vary by episode.

This episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Get started: Visit Better Help

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Want to challenge an unhelpful thought and look at it from a more balanced perspective? Dr. John created a free Thought Court worksheet you can download and use on your own. The accompanying Guy Counseling guide walks you through the exercise step by step.

No signup. No email address. No strings attached. Just grab it and use it if it's helpful.

Download the Free Thought Court Worksheet + How-To Guide

If you've found value in this podcast and would like to help support its independent production, you can do so through Buy Me a Coffee.

Your support helps cover production costs, hosting, editing, and future episodes of The Men's Self-Help Podcast.

👉 https://buymeacoffee.com/mensselfhelp

Written and produced by Dr. John Moore, with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording with synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.

What exactly is male depression? Well, depression in men doesn't always look like sadness. Sometimes it shows up as anger, irritability, exhaustion, withdrawal, loss of interest, or simply feeling like something isn't quite right.

In this first Man Moment, Dr. John is joined by Guy Counseling contributing writer Jack for a quick conversation about male depression, why the signs can sometimes be easy to miss, and why getting help isn't a sign of weakness.

They also explore how physical health issues can sometimes contribute to symptoms of depression and why talking with a healthcare provider can be an important part of figuring out what's really going on. Because here's the truth - depression in men is a real thing.

• How depression can show up differently in men
• Why some guys may not recognize they're depressed
• Anger, irritability, withdrawal, and other possible signs
• The role friends and family can play
• Therapy, medical evaluation, and other paths toward getting help
• Why depression is treatable

Male Depression: Signs, Symptoms and Treatment

Dr. John takes a deeper look at depression in men, including possible signs, causes, risk factors, and treatment options.

Guy Counseling: Male Depression: Signs, Symptoms and Treatment

Discover how grief and depression can feel similar but are different through this grief counseling article by Chicago therapists.

I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression — Terrence Real

Therapist Terrence Real explores the often-hidden ways depression can affect men and how emotional pain may sometimes appear through anger, withdrawal, overwork, and other behaviors rather than obvious sadness.

Amazon: See Amazon for price

Need support right now? If you're struggling emotionally or experiencing a mental health crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Support is available 24/7. If you're in immediate physical danger or experiencing a medical emergency, call 911.

https://988lifeline.org/

Depression doesn't make you weak. Sometimes the strongest thing a guy can do is stop pretending he's fine and get curious about what's really happening.

Want to challenge an unhelpful thought and look at it from a more balanced perspective? Dr. John created a free Thought Court worksheet you can download and use on your own. The accompanying Guy Counseling guide walks you through the exercise step by step.

No signup. No email address. No strings attached. Just grab it and use it if it's helpful.

Download the Free Thought Court Worksheet + How-To Guide

Looking for online therapy with practical tools you can use between sessions? Online-Therapy.com offers individual and couples therapy along with a structured CBT program, worksheets, unlimited messaging, a journal, an activity plan, and yoga and meditation videos.

Save 20% on your first month: Visit Online-Therapy.com and use promo code THERAPY20.

Affiliate disclosure: The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive a commission if you sign up through this link, at no additional cost to you.

This episode may include paid sponsorships or affiliate links. If you make a purchase, sign up for a service, or take another qualifying action through one of these links, The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive compensation at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Sponsors and recommended resources may vary by episode.

The Men's Self-Help Podcast is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not therapy and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or professional mental health treatment. If you are struggling, please contact a qualified professional where you live.

If you've found value in this podcast and would like to help support its independent production, you can do so through Buy Me a Coffee.

Your support helps cover production costs, hosting, editing, and future episodes of The Men's Self-Help Podcast.

👉 Support The Men's Self-Help Podcast

Written and produced by Dr. John Moore, with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording, voice models, and synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.

Are you tired of being a nice guy and people and people pleaser? Sick of feeling like you're being taken advantage of? In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores the hidden cost of chronic people-pleasing and why it often goes unnoticed in men.

What looks like being dependable, hardworking, loyal, or simply being a good guy may actually be a learned strategy for avoiding guilt, conflict, disappointment, or the fear of letting someone down.

You'll discover six practical steps for recognizing the pattern, creating a pause before automatically agreeing, setting clearer boundaries, and tolerating the discomfort that can follow when you begin using the word no.

Dr. John also responds to a listener named Chris, who worries that declining invitations from his friends could eventually cause him to lose his place in the group.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

• Why being a nice guy comes at a cost

• How people-pleasing can show up differently in men

• The connection between approval, identity, and automatic agreement

• How early experiences can shape the need to keep others happy

• Why cognitive rehearsal can make saying no easier

• How to pause before committing to something

• How to say no without overexplaining or apologizing

• Why another person's disappointment does not automatically mean you did something wrong

• How distress tolerance can help you maintain a healthy boundary

• Why asking "What do I want?" can become an important ongoing practice

Some of the links below are affiliate links. If you make a qualifying purchase through one of these links, Guy Counseling may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping support the independent production of this podcast.

Dr. John discusses cognitive rehearsal and the value of practicing assertive responses before you need them in real life. The Assertiveness Workbook offers practical exercises for developing clearer communication, setting boundaries, and becoming more comfortable with assertiveness.

Amazon: https://amzn.to/4crv5aR

Dr. John recommends this classic assertiveness book while responding to listener Chris, who struggles with saying no without feeling guilty or worrying about disappointing others. When I Say No, I Feel Guilty offers practical strategies for communicating more assertively, setting limits, and handling the guilt or pressure that can come when you stop automatically saying yes.

Amazon: https://amzn.to/4zou1OM

Do you have a question you would like Dr. John to consider for a future listener-email segment?

Submit it through the contact form below. Dr. John reads every message that comes through, although not every question can be featured on the podcast.

https://guycounseling.com/contact-us/

Listener messages featured on the podcast are shared with permission. Names and identifying details may be changed to protect privacy, and messages may be edited for length and clarity. A synthesized voice may also be used when reading an email.

If you've found value in this podcast and would like to help support its independent production, you can do so through Buy Me a Coffee.

Your support helps cover production costs, hosting, editing, and future episodes of The Men's Self-Help Podcast.

👉 https://buymeacoffee.com/mensselfhelp

The Men's Self-Help Podcast is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not therapy and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or professional mental health treatment. If you are struggling, please contact a qualified professional where you live.

👉 Facebook Guy Counseling

👉 Instagram Guy Counseling

Want to challenge an unhelpful thought and look at it from a more balanced perspective? Dr. John created a free Thought Court worksheet you can download and use on your own. The accompanying Guy Counseling guide walks you through the exercise step by step.

No signup. No email address. No strings attached. Just grab it and use it if it's helpful.

Download the Free Thought Court Worksheet + How-To Guide

Produced by Dr. John Moore with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording and synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.

n this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John is joined by Jack to discuss a powerful listener story about penis size anxiety and male body image. They talk about a 23-year-old man whose girlfriend told him during a heated moment that she wanted to break up because his penis was too small. Although she was drinking and apologized later, the relationship ended. This episode digs into worries about not being "big enough" and how such painful comments can deepen existing insecurities.

Dr. John and Jack explore why body anxiety is not just a women's issue and how shame can lead some men to avoid dating, sex, nudity, and intimacy altogether. They also share the story of a former client whose anxiety around penis size became so severe that he would apologize to partners before sex. The episode asks the crucial question: How do you keep someone else's judgment about your body from becoming your own?

• Penis-size anxiety and male body image
• What happens when a partner targets an existing insecurity
• Why an apology doesn't erase painful comments
• How negative self-talk reinforces body shame
• The link between shame, avoidance, and intimacy challenges
• Why men often struggle silently with body-image concerns
• How one painful experience can affect future relationships

Dr. John recommends The Penis Book: A Doctor's Complete Guide to the Penis--From Size to Function and Everything in Between for deeper understanding of penis health and anxiety.

Dr. John and Jack also discuss a related Couples Counseling Chicago article about a man's experience after hearing a painful comment about his penis size during intimacy.

Somebody else's words are not your inheritance. What they said in that moment — that's their lens, their history, their stuff. It doesn't get to live in your body rent-free. You get to decide what you carry forward and what you set back down. So set it down. Take that with you.

Looking for online therapy with practical tools you can use between sessions? Online-Therapy.com offers individual and couples therapy, CBT programs, worksheets, unlimited messaging, journals, activity plans, and yoga & meditation videos.

Save 20% on your first month: Visit Online-Therapy.com and use promo code THERAPY20.

Affiliate disclosure: The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive a commission if you sign up through this link, at no additional cost to you.

Want to challenge unhelpful thoughts and gain perspective? Download the free Thought Court worksheet and guide created by Dr. John. No signup, no strings attached.

Have a question or want to submit a listener email? Visit Guy Counseling's contact form. Please let us know if we have permission to feature your question, with identifying info changed for privacy.

👉 Facebook Guy Counseling

👉 Instagram Guy Counseling

If you've found value in the podcast and want to support its independent production, visit https://buymeacoffee.com/mensselfhelp. Your support helps cover production, hosting, editing, and future episodes.

The Men's Self-Help Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not therapy or a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If struggling, please contact a qualified professional near you.

This episode may include paid sponsorships or affiliate links. If you purchase or sign up through these, The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive compensation at no extra cost to you. Sponsors and resources may vary by episode.

Written and produced by Dr. John Moore, with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording, voice models, and synthesized audio for production efficiency and privacy.

In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores 10 habits of men who have their sh*t together and what getting your life together actually looks like in the real world.

Drawing on more than two decades of clinical experience in men's work, Dr. John breaks down practical habits for men focused on self-improvement, personal growth, stronger relationships, better sleep, and creating a life that feels more grounded.

This isn't the Instagram version of having your life together. It's about defining success on your own terms, keeping promises to yourself, protecting your sleep, maintaining friendships, taking responsibility for your choices, and knowing when to ask for help.

Whether you're already practicing some of these habits or feel like you're starting from scratch, this episode offers a practical roadmap you can begin using this week.

• What it really means to have your life together
• Why defining success on your own terms matters
• The importance of keeping promises to yourself
• Why protecting your sleep is part of getting your life together
• How grounded men build habits that hold up under pressure
• Why maintaining friendships and important relationships matters
• The role of personal responsibility in self-improvement
• Why asking for help can be a sign of strength
• How small, consistent choices can shape the direction of your life
• Practical ways to start getting your life together this week

The Men's Self-Help Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Head to https://betterhelp.com/guycounseling to get 10% off your first month of therapy.

Some of the links below are affiliate links. If you make a qualifying purchase through one of these links, Guy Counseling may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping support the independent production of this podcast.

Referenced in the discussion of Habit 2, keeping promises to yourself. Directed by Robert Zemeckis and starring Jodie Foster.

Watch the trailer on YouTube

Recommended in the discussion of Habit 4, protecting your sleep. Dr. John has recommended this book to clients over the years with strong results.

Find it on Amazon

Referenced in the discussion of Habit 7, maintaining relationships. This long-running study has followed participants across decades and has highlighted the importance of strong relationships for long-term health and well-being.

Learn more about the Harvard Study of Adult Development

Have a question you'd like Dr. John to answer on a future episode? Send it through the Guy Counseling contact form:

https://guycounseling.com/contact-us/

If your question is selected, identifying details may be changed to protect your privacy, and it may be read using a synthesized voice.

If you're enjoying The Men's Self-Help Podcast and would like to help support its independent production, you can buy Dr. John a coffee here:

https://buymeacoffee.com/mensselfhelp

👉 Facebook Guy Counseling

👉 Instagram Guy Counseling

Want to challenge an unhelpful thought and look at it from a more balanced perspective? Dr. John created a free Thought Court worksheet you can download and use on your own. The accompanying Guy Counseling guide walks you through the exercise step by step.

No signup. No email address. No strings attached. Just grab it and use it if it's helpful.

Download the Free Thought Court Worksheet + How-To Guide

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed professional for individualized support.

Produced by Dr. John Moore with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording and synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.

Struggling with mismatched sex drives? What happens when you want sex more often than your partner—or when your partner seems to want it more than you do?

In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John is joined by Guy Counseling contributing writer Jack for a candid conversation about mismatched sex drives in relationships.

They explore why differences in sexual desire are so common and why they don't necessarily mean there's something wrong with your relationship. The conversation also gets into stress and libido, feeling rejected when your partner says no, and an important distinction that often gets overlooked: wanting sex and being comfortable initiating sex aren't necessarily the same thing.

John and Jack also tackle a question plenty of couples probably wonder about but may not talk about openly: Can masturbation help when partners have different sex drives, and where does adult video fit into the picture?

Other topics include scheduling intimacy, sexual "accelerators" and "brakes," nonsexual touch, emotional safety, and approaching sex as an invitation rather than a demand.

📚 Book Recommendation

The Sex-Starved Marriage by Michele Weiner-Davis

Dr. John recommends this book for its real-world look at couples struggling with significant differences in sexual desire and the ways those differences can affect intimacy and relationships.

Amazon: https://amzn.to/4hEUzoL

As an Amazon Associate, we may earn from qualifying purchases.

🔗 Resources & Further Reading

How to Handle Mismatched Libidos in a Relationship — AskMen The article that helped spark today's conversation, exploring desire discrepancies and ways couples can navigate them.

https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/how-to-handle-mismatched-libidos-in-a-relationship.html

How Stress Can Lead to Low Libido — Verywell Mind More about the relationship between chronic stress and reduced sexual desire.

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-stress-can-lead-to-low-libido-3145029

Why Your Girlfriend Never Initiates Sex — Guy Counseling Dr. John explores why rarely initiating sex doesn't necessarily mean someone lacks sexual desire or attraction.

My girlfriend never initiates sex

Contact The Show

If you would like to contact the show with a question or submit a listener email, you can visit the pod's website Guy Counseling. Use this link for the contact form.

Keep in mind we get a lot of email and not all questions will be featured on the pod. When you write, please let us know if we have your permission to feature your question. Identifying information may be changed to protect privacy.

Affiliate & Sponsor Disclosure

This episode may include paid sponsorships or affiliate links. If you make a purchase, sign up for a service, or take another qualifying action through one of these links, The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive compensation at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Sponsors and recommended resources may vary by episode.

Looking for online therapy with practical tools you can use between sessions? Online-Therapy.com offers individual and couples therapy along with a structured CBT program, worksheets, unlimited messaging, a journal, an activity plan, and yoga and meditation videos.

Save 20% on your first month: Visit Online-Therapy.com and use promo code THERAPY20.

Affiliate disclosure: The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive a commission if you sign up through this link, at no additional cost to you.

Follow On Social Media 👉 Facebook Guy Counseling

👉 Instagram Guy Counseling

Support the Show ☕

If you've found value in this podcast and would like to help support its independent production, you can do so through Buy Me a Coffee.

Your support helps cover production costs, hosting, editing, and future episodes of The Men's Self-Help Podcast.

👉 https://buymeacoffee.com/mensselfhelp

What does it actually look like when a man has his life in order?

In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore draws on more than two decades of clinical experience in men's work to break down ten habits shared by men who are genuinely grounded — not the Instagram version, but the real thing.

From defining success on your own terms to protecting your sleep, maintaining friendships, and knowing when to ask for help, these are the habits that hold up under pressure. Dr. John draws on his clinical experience as a licensed therapist in Chicago to bring each one to life with honesty, humor, and a few unexpected detours along the way.

Whether you're already doing a few of these or starting from scratch, this episode offers a practical roadmap you can begin using this week.

Sponsor

The Men's Self-Help Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Head to https://betterhelp.com/guycounseling to get 10% off your first month of therapy.

Resources Mentioned

Some of the links below are affiliate links. If you make a qualifying purchase through one of these links, Guy Counseling may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping support the independent production of this podcast.

Contact (1997) — Trailer

Referenced in the discussion of Habit 2, keeping promises to yourself. Directed by Robert Zemeckis and starring Jodie Foster.

Watch the trailer on YouTube

The Insomnia Breakthrough by Katherine Coleman

Recommended in the discussion of Habit 4, protecting your sleep. Dr. John has recommended this book to clients over the years with strong results.

https://amzn.to/4fVTVC0

The Harvard Study of Adult Development

Referenced in the discussion of Habit 7, maintaining relationships. This long-running study has followed participants across decades and has highlighted the importance of strong relationships for long-term health and well-being.

Learn more about the Harvard Study of Adult Development

Thought Court Worksheet

Want to challenge an unhelpful thought and look at it from a more balanced perspective? Dr. John created a free Thought Court worksheet you can download and use on your own. The accompanying Guy Counseling guide walks you through the exercise step by step.

No signup. No email address. No strings attached. Just grab it and use it if it's helpful.

👉 https://guycounseling.com/thought-court-cbt-exercise/

Have a Question for the Podcast?

Have a question you'd like me to answer on a future episode? Send it through the Guy Counseling contact form:

https://guycounseling.com/contact-us/

If your question is selected, identifying details may be changed to protect your privacy, and it may be read using a synthesized voice.

Support the Show — Buy Me a Coffee!

If you're enjoying The Men's Self-Help Podcast and would like to help support its independent production, you can buy me a coffee here:

https://buymeacoffee.com/mensselfhelp

Follow on Social Media

👉 Facebook — Guy Counseling https://www.facebook.com/guycounseling/

👉 Instagram — Guy Counseling https://www.instagram.com/guycounseling1

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed professional for individualized support.

Production Notes

Written and produced by Dr. John Moore, with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording, voice models, and synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.

Do you constantly tell yourself you should be doing better, that you must have everything figured out, or that life ought to be different?

In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores the psychology of musterbation — the rigid musts, shoulds, and oughts that can put enormous pressure on us and make it harder to deal with everyday life.

The concept comes from psychologist Albert Ellis and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). You'll discover how this kind of rigid self-talk can quietly fuel anxiety, guilt, anger, shame, perfectionism, and emotional exhaustion.

Dr. John walks through a practical three-step approach for challenging these destructive internal rules and replacing them with more flexible ways of thinking.

You'll also hear from Matt, a listener who isn't sure he's ready to marry the woman he's been dating. Dr. John discusses the difference between outside pressure and genuine readiness, why unresolved conflict deserves attention, and how premarital counseling can help couples approach one of life's biggest decisions with greater clarity.

Whether you're struggling with perfectionism, relationships, negative self-talk, or impossible expectations, this episode offers practical psychological tools you can begin using today.

• What psychologist Albert Ellis meant by "musterbation"

• How musts, shoulds, and oughts can create unnecessary emotional pressure

• The basics of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)

• How rigid thinking can contribute to anxiety, guilt, anger, and shame

• Why perfectionism often involves unrealistic internal rules

• How to identify the musts and shoulds hiding in your self-talk

• A practical three-step approach for challenging rigid beliefs

• How to replace demands with more flexible thinking

• The difference between relationship pressure and genuine readiness for marriage

• How premarital counseling can help couples make more informed decisions

Today's episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Head to https://betterhelp.com/guycounseling to get 10% off your first month with our sponsor, BetterHelp. Therapy can be a meaningful space to reflect, grow, and create positive change in your life.

Some of the links below are affiliate links. If you make a qualifying purchase through one of these links, Guy Counseling may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping support the independent production of this podcast.

Use this worksheet to explore the ABC model commonly associated with REBT and examine the connection between beliefs and emotional or behavioral consequences.

ABC Model for REBT Worksheet

Learn what couples typically discuss during a structured premarital counseling program, including communication, conflict resolution, finances, intimacy, family expectations, and future planning.

Chicago Premarital Counseling Program

A resource for couples considering marriage and thinking through important questions before making a lifelong commitment.

Find it on Amazon

Have a question you'd like Dr. John to answer on a future episode? Send it through the Guy Counseling contact form:

https://guycounseling.com/contact-us/

If your question is selected, identifying details may be changed to protect your privacy, and it may be read using a synthesized voice.

If you're enjoying The Men's Self-Help Podcast and would like to help support its independent production, you can buy Dr. John a coffee here:

https://buymeacoffee.com/mensselfhelp

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed professional for individualized support.

Written and produced by Dr. John Moore, with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay.

Have you ever finally gotten a chance to relax—only to discover that you can't handle the quiet?

In Episode 47 of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores why stillness can feel strangely uncomfortable in a world filled with notifications, headlines, endless scrolling, and constant demands for our attention.

Drawing from a personal experience in Puerto Rico, Dr. John explains how repeated stimulation can leave the nervous system stuck on alert. Even when nothing is wrong, the brain may interpret quiet as unfamiliar—and therefore suspicious.

You'll learn why the amygdala acts like a smoke alarm that sometimes struggles to distinguish a real emergency from everyday "burnt toast." You'll also hear about the brain's default mode network and the important work that may occur when you stop actively doing and allow your mind to settle.

The episode also explores what contemplative traditions have understood for centuries: stillness is not empty. It can create room for memories to organize, emotions to surface, ideas to connect, and clarity to emerge.

Dr. John concludes with one simple challenge: place your phone in another room and spend five minutes sitting in the nothing. When the restlessness appears, don't treat it as failure. Treat it as the repetition that helps teach your nervous system that quiet can be safe.

Today's sponsor

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

BetterHelp offers online access to licensed therapists with experience in areas such as anxiety, depression, relationships, career concerns, and other challenges.

Learn more and get started at:

https://www.betterhelp.com/guycounseling

This is an affiliate link. The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive compensation when listeners use it.

Recommended book

Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics by Dan Harris

As an Amazon Associate, Guy Counseling may earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.

Related Reading

When nothing clearly dangerous is happening, anxiety can still make uncertainty feel like a threat. Calm Anxiety explains why anxiety can make safe situations feel dangerous and how avoidance, reassurance-seeking, and threat prediction can reinforce that response. From Calm Anxiety Clinic. Want to help support the show? Buy Me a coffee! https://buymeacoffee.com/mensselfhelp

Important disclaimer

The Men's Self-Help Podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for psychotherapy, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Dr. John Moore is not acting as your personal therapist through this podcast. Please speak with a licensed healthcare professional if you are experiencing concerns about your mental or physical health.

Production note:

Audio production assistance provided by Joel Oliver. Episode artwork generated with Adobe Firefly. Transition sounds provided royalty-free by Pixabay. This episode blends live-recorded audio with Dr. John Moore's own authorized voice model.

Ever notice how some mornings seem to set the tone for your entire day?

In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores what makes a healthy morning routine actually work—and why you don't need an elaborate, social media-worthy ritual to start your day on the right foot.

You'll learn why your morning routine should focus on four essential goals: waking up your body, settling your nervous system, activating your mind, and directing your attention. Along the way, John shares practical ideas you can begin using immediately, whether you have an hour, thirty minutes, or just fifteen.

You'll also hear why perfection isn't the goal, how to create a routine you'll actually stick with, and what to do when life inevitably throws your schedule off track.

If you've been looking for a simple, realistic approach to building better mornings, this episode offers practical strategies grounded in psychology—not hype.

• Why most morning routines fail
• The four jobs every healthy morning routine should accomplish
• How to calm your nervous system before the day begins
• The difference between productive habits and performative routines
• How to create a morning routine you can actually maintain

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, and sharing it with someone who could use a better start to their day.

• Looking for a signature scent? Check out Dr. Moore's guide to Best Colognes for Men: 25 Popular Fragrances Worth Wearing.
• Looking for Mental Health Counseling? Check out Better Help

Affiliate disclosure: The BetterHelp link above is an affiliate link. If you sign up through it, Guy Counseling may receive a commission at no additional cost to you. Production note: Audio production assistance provided by Joel Oliver. Episode artwork generated with Adobe Firefly. Transition sounds provided royalty-free by Pixabay. This episode blends live-recorded audio with Dr. John Moore's own voice model.

After a long break, The Men's Self-Help Podcast is coming back.

In this brief return message, Dr. John shares why he stepped away, why he decided to return, and what listeners can expect going forward.

New episodes will focus on men's mental health, relationships, emotional wellness, and practical tools you can actually use.

The first full episode returns next week with a conversation about what to do when you feel yourself spiraling.