The Overwhelmed Brain

Confronting friends, family, the boss, the spouse, or any other dangerous people ;) can cause anxiety, fear and panic... but why? Why do we fear expressing what we want to anyone in our lives? If you're brought up to shut your mouth and keep your ears open, and any sign of expressing yourself got squashed (or you feared expressing yourself for other reasons), then you probably have a challenge confronting people. Speaking of squashing things, how about the negative energy that forms while doing the confronting? Wouldn't it be nice for that to dissipate? There are ways, and I share my thoughts on that. Finally I read a letter from a woman who left her ex-husband behind because she was learning, growing and evolving, and he was staying where he was. She was energetic, he was not. The rift kept widening, so she left. Now she's happy! However, she's in another relationships where her loved one is 1000 miles away and neither of them can move. Can long distance relationships work? Visit patron.theoverwhelmedbrain.com for private episodes and More!

Not everyone is going to like what you bring to the table. Sometimes people have high expectations of you and you don't deliver causing them to have a critical view of you. Is this your fault or the fault of the person who set up expectations that you couldn't meet? I read a critical review of The Overwhelmed Brain and talk about that very thing today. They're not always "haters" but they can ruin our day. I also talk about gurus, preachers and god-like teachers and hope I don't fit into any of those categories above. Every time I'm open, honest and vulnerable, it helps me heal which is why I'm so open on the show. If anything is repressed in you, it needs to come out. When you lock the doors to your emotional core, you don't feel the pain but you're also blocking the good stuff too. And how do you know if it's time for a divorce? You need to assess the past to determine the future. Has there been any progress? Have you been any happier? Has your partner made any improvement? Have things gotten better? If the answer is no, the answer will likely be no. No progress up to this point shows no progress in the future. As you go forward in your relationship, if nothing has changed, nothing will change. Nothing will ever get better if nothing has gotten better and nothing will ever change as long as you stay together. Finally, I talk about the decision to stay or leave. When you're in a relationship and you're thinking about splitting up, breaking up, or divorce, take out the fear out of the question and then ask yourself what the decision is. Regret only plays a part if you base your decision on fear. For more TOB, join the Patron Program today patron.theoverwhelmedbrain.com

Where do you go when you have a secret that you believe someone else needs to know? Are you loyal to the secret teller? Do you tell the person who should know the secret? It's a question to ponder, where do your loyalties lies and what should you do with a secret you are committed to keeping? Also, I receive a letter from someone who shares and expresses to as many people as she can but still doesn't feel like she's released or vented her emotions, so she ends up feeling empty and still having pain. Unresolved emotions fester inside of us until we address them in some way, but sometimes we don't know that we're still not deep enough inside the emotional well and all we're doing is pulling up empty buckets. Speaking of emptiness, feeling lonely even when around friends and family is a big challenge too. Lots to talk about today.

Are you at a job that feels like you are being dominated or controlled? Is there a way out of this without quitting? There may be. I get a response from a listener who wrote before who took my advice for her about her work situation and everything turned out for the better. Controlling bosses no longer drove her mad. What keeps you at work you don't like anyway? What's motivating you to stay miserable? Also, what is it with depression? Why does depression kick in so hard and why is it so hard to get back out once you're in it? No joy, no pain, no feeling at all - suicidal thoughts can come into play and sometimes you're so apathetic you don't even care about that. There is a small door, or portal, out of depression and I talk about that door. In Ask Paul, I read a letter from someone who can't stop obsessing over her boyfriend's friendship with his ex-girlfriends, and hates it when he talks about other girls in general. And finally I end the show with a few words on emotionally disconnect people. Many of my coaching clients are married to them! For more TOB, join the Patron Program today patron.theoverwhelmedbrain.com

All this personal growth work is great and all, but you have to actually do the work in order for your life to get better. The main reason is because you need feedback from your environment. You test, observe, test again, take action. You learn through your results. And in order to change your results, your desire has to overcome the results you're getting now. If that happens, your life will change a lot easier. Also, I read a letter from a mom who feels paralyzed by dysfunctional family members and is scared her child is going to pick up or become dysfunctional because of their bad behavior. Family can sometimes be toxic, especially around children. Children know right from wrong, even when they're exposed to toxic stuff, but as long as they have a healthy role model, sometimes the toxicity from others doesn't rub off on them. Be the best role model you can be and your child will do much better because of it. Finally, I talk about how a subtle change in your thoughts can lead to a good outcome or a bad one.

Anxiety, anger, sadness and other emotional advice on the internet seems to be the same where ever you look: Think positively, breathe, count to 10, etc. I'm generalizing of course, but many times, it'll seem like you're reading the same article over and over again, as if the information is just being passed from blog to blog. But, what would happen if you turned the advice around and did the opposite? Funny thing is, that's how I developed some of the tools over here at The Overwhelmed Brain. I just take "normal" advice and do the opposite to see what happens. Hmm... seems to work! Also, I get a letter from a woman who has it all together, found a great relationship, but then the guy left for seemingly no reason. Now she feels hurt, unlovable, unwanted and isn't sure if her pain is from the past before the relationship started or from the breakup itself. This is a LOADED episode and may take two sittings before you get through it.

Anger can rise in you because of a violation of your personal boundaries, but do you even know what your boundaries are? Sometimes we feel anger and we aren't even sure why. It's a good time to learn what your boundaries are and at what point you can be pushed before you "lose it". I read an email from someone who got so angry that he forgot what he said while he was in that state. There is a choice you have to utilize anger for your protection or to attack, and what you choose will determine if you're in control and if you'll create a better outcome or not. Where your anger takes you is up to you as long as you stay conscious long enough to utilize it in the best way possible for everyone involved.

A listener calls me out and tells me, "You couldn't take a couple minutes to answer me personally?" I read her message on the air and respond to it. I always do my best to act from a place of integrity... did I mess up? Also, I received an email from someone in a relationship that may not work out. She wants to know how to balance her own personal growth with the work she's done in her relationship (and not ruin that work). And she also wants to know if she's done everything she can do before leaving the relationship. 'Have I turned the last "Falling out of love" stone before I completely give in to the truth?' When do you really know when you're out of love? There's also another segment on how an Adult Child of an Alcoholic can trust themselves after living a life without it. Self-trust is a process and there is a way to have it again. Overall, this episode is PACKED with personal growth and development lessons. Too much to describe, you'll just have to listen! Sponsor: http://getoutofthemess.com

Kids get overwhelmed brains too. After hearing from a few kids that listen to the show, I decided to dedicate an episode talking about the hardships that kids face. From school and getting made fun of to home and some of the dysfunctions that can be present there. Kids have it tough, because the whole world is new and they are developing experience on the fly. Whereas adults already have so much experience under their belt that they may have forgotten the plight of being a kid and what it takes to get through some of life's more challenging situations. Even as adults, we have a kid in us that wants to cry, play, laugh, get angry, and more, so we need to learn to nurture the kid in us to have a more balanced, happier life. Whether you're a kid or not, and whether you have kids or not, there is something in this episode for everyone.

Are you annoyed by affirmations? It's how I start off every show. I take a few minutes to explain why that is. Also I talk about positive thinking and bridging the gap between emotions and reason. Next when you fear honoring yourself, what can you do? It's great advice to tell someone: "Just honor your boundaries then you can start creating the life you want!" Which of course is something I say all the time. But what if you are just too afraid to? Finally I read a letter from an adult child of an alcoholic who felt that his playfulness was stripped away because of the state of fear he lived in growing up in an alcoholic household. Enjoy this longer episode of The Overwhelmed Brain.