For parents estranged from adult children, the concept of independence is often overlooked. But cultivating independence can have a positive impact on a rejected parent's quality of life. That includes how you handle unwanted estrangement.

"I think she blames me for my divorce." If you feel this might be a motivating factor in your adult child's estrangement, you'll want to listen to this episode. 

It's rarely the divorce itself that's keeping adult children up at night. That's in the past. They lived through the immediate upheaval, and their lives are now on a different track. It's not as though your child wants you to get back together with your ex so they can live with both of you again…

So is it even true that the divorce is a factor in your child's estrangement?

If it is, it's probably not the breakup of your marriage that's causing your child pain. Now that you've come through the actual divorce, any lingering pain your child is experiencing can be addressed in the present, where it's happening.

"To the world's best mom..."

If you ever received a note like this from your child, you might be wondering, how on earth did that adoring child become the silent, unyielding estranged adult she is today?

How did you fall so far from grace, without doing anything differently?

Tina suggests there are two main reasons for this seeming discrepancy in your child's feelings.

In this episode, Tina shares tips on how to become more predictable in your contact in order to create goodwill between yourself and your estranged adult child. Also, she talks about when it's okay, and even desirable, for a parent to be unpredictable.

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood."

For parents of estranged adult children, this is one of the most practical and powerful tips available to help them in their quest for reconciliation.

While this bit of wisdom didn't originate with Stephen R. Covey, there's a very good reason why he made it one of his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Seeking first to understand is rocket fuel for relationships. But as Tina points out in this episode, it's hard to put "seek first to understand" into practice.

Learn how to reconnect with your child by joining the Reconnection Club, an online school and support hub for parents estranged from adult children. Learn more at reconnectionclub.com/learn-more.

Not every adult child who's estranged from parents is emotionally immature. But in some cases, emotional immaturity is something that parents who want to reconnect with a particular child have to take into account. Tina lists four things you can do to maximize the chances of successful reconciliation with an emotional immature adult child.

In this episode, Tina describes specific problems created during estrangement by the parent's low self-esteem, and what you can do to improve your self-concept. She also talks about why adult children become estranged after going into therapy. It may not be why you think it is.

Your semi-estranged adult child might seem to be coming around. They're back in contact. They agree to a meeting. The meeting goes great… 

But then just like that, they're gone again.

Frustrated and resentful, many parents become wary of all contact with their child. They're not sure if they can trust him to stick around. They're wary about opening their hearts and getting hurt again.

In this episode, Tina encourages you to think about patterns and context. It's likely that your child's behavior, when understood in these terms, makes a lot more sense than it seems to.

Tina often says that reconciliation is a process, not an event.

In this episode, she discusses specific stages of learning that parents must traverse in order to get to the ultimate prize of permanent reconciliation with their children.

For many moms whose adult children are estranged from them, Mothers Day inspires dread. But at the same time, there's a secret light of hope shining inside. Maybe your child will reach out to you even if s/he hasn't done so recently. Maybe s/he will take the opportunity to reconnect on your special day. For most parents of estranged adult children, Mothers Day and Fathers Day turn out to be disappointing events. The day only serves to remind them of what they don't have: A close relationship with their adult child(ren). They can't put the day behind them fast enough. Don't be one of the thousands of parents who curl up in a ball and wait for the day to pass. Or who make plans to go to brunch or a movie, but still find the day depressing on the whole. While you can't control whether your child reaches out to you on Mothers Day, you can control your own experience to a greater degree than many estranged parents realize. In this episode, Tina walks you through four steps to a better Mothers Day, "no matter what." So whether or not you hear from your child on your special day, plan to make it a good day. Have something to write on while you listen to this one; you might want to start brainstorming.