The Virtual Couch

The Self-Care Paradox: Why Putting Yourself First Isn't Selfish and Is “Healthy Narcissism” a Thing? Live QA w/Tony and Mackie Overbay


Listen Later

What happens when you walk face-first into a wall at the movies? For therapist Tony Overbay, it led to a deep discussion about relationships, self-worth, and the challenges of being true to yourself in a world that often demands conformity.


In this engaging episode of The Virtual Couch, Tony is joined by his daughter Mackie for their regular Sunday night Q&A session. After sharing a humorous story about his movie theater mishap (complete with butterfly stitches), they dive into profound conversations about relationships, mental health, and personal growth.


The episode explores the concept of "normal" versus "pathological" narcissism, with Tony breaking down Eleanor Greenberg's research on how healthy ego differs from defensive narcissism. They discuss how true confidence comes from actual accomplishments rather than a fragile facade of superiority.


A significant portion focuses on the challenges of maintaining authenticity in relationships, particularly when dealing with emotional immaturity. Tony explains how many people lose themselves trying to make others happy, and the importance of choosing self-care first - not as an act of selfishness, but as a necessary foundation for genuine connection.


The father-daughter duo tackles numerous listener questions, covering topics like:

- Setting healthy boundaries versus giving ultimatums

- The impact of being a "scapegoat" in family dynamics

- Dealing with betrayal trauma and infidelity

- The struggles of highly sensitive people (HSP)

- Navigating relationships with emotionally immature partners

- The challenges of being authentically yourself in a society that often rewards conformity


Throughout the episode, Tony emphasizes the importance of differentiation - developing a strong but flexible sense of self while maintaining connections with others. He provides practical advice for listeners struggling with various relationship challenges, including resources for finding affordable therapy and support groups for those dealing with emotionally immature partners.


The conversation weaves together clinical insights with personal experiences, creating an authentic and relatable dialogue that helps listeners understand they're not alone in their struggles. Tony and Mackie's natural rapport adds warmth and accessibility to complex therapeutic concepts, making them more digestible for a general audience.



00:00 Introduction and Setting the Scene

01:06 Super Bowl and Halftime Show Reactions

02:30 Movie Theater Mishap and Story Time

07:10 Relationship Dynamics and Self-Care

11:47 Understanding Narcissism and Healthy Ego

17:34 Questions from the Audience

41:14 Navigating the Online Dating World

41:50 The Struggle of Authenticity in Relationships

43:20 The Journey of Emotional Growth

47:22 Dealing with Narcissistic Relationships

53:54 The Importance of Setting Boundaries

01:11:12 Overcoming Trauma and Seeking Therapy

01:14:15 Confronting Relationship Challenges

01:19:59 Final Thoughts and Resources



...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

The Virtual CouchBy Tony Overbay LMFT

  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9

4.9

637 ratings


More shows like The Virtual Couch

View all
Leading Saints Podcast by Leading Saints

Leading Saints Podcast

1,227 Listeners

Better Than Happy by Jody Moore

Better Than Happy

5,676 Listeners

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer by Geoff & Jody Steurer

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer

194 Listeners

Faith Matters by Faith Matters Foundation

Faith Matters

1,667 Listeners

All In by LDS Living

All In

6,531 Listeners

Mint Arrow Messages by Corrine Stokoe

Mint Arrow Messages

1,558 Listeners

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer by Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

1,049 Listeners

Decoding Narcissism, Manipulation And Toxic Ideas, with Frederik Ribersson by Frederik Ribersson

Decoding Narcissism, Manipulation And Toxic Ideas, with Frederik Ribersson

129 Listeners

Therapy Brothers by Reclaimed Heart

Therapy Brothers

326 Listeners

No Visible Bruises by Caroline Strawson

No Visible Bruises

515 Listeners

The Covert Narcissism Podcast by Renee Swanson, Bleav

The Covert Narcissism Podcast

50 Listeners

Waking Up to Narcissism by Tony Overbay LMFT

Waking Up to Narcissism

658 Listeners

Working Change by Nate & Marla Christensen

Working Change

13 Listeners

Latter Day Struggles by Valerie Hamaker

Latter Day Struggles

821 Listeners

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse by Kerry McAvoy, Ph.D.

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

245 Listeners

Surviving Narcissism with Dr. Les Carter by Dr. Les Carter

Surviving Narcissism with Dr. Les Carter

516 Listeners

Waking Up To Narcissism Q&A by Tony Overbay LMFT

Waking Up To Narcissism Q&A

39 Listeners

Murder on the Couch by Tony Overbay, LMFT and Sydney Overbay, CD

Murder on the Couch

32 Listeners

The Mind, The Mirror & Me by Mackie Overbay

The Mind, The Mirror & Me

15 Listeners

Love, ADHD by Tony Overbay, LMFT & Julie Lee

Love, ADHD

12 Listeners