The Sex Addiction Podcast For High-achievers and Entrepreneurs

By Roland CochrunBusiness Entrepreneurship Health & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement

The Sex Addiction Podcast For High-achievers and Entrepreneurs episodes

August 11 122. Many Sex Addicts Are Shaming Themselves By Accident
Out of all the things I have seen lead to sex addiction relapse, this is the big one:
Men shaming themselves by accident.
I get it… when you have done things you never thought that you would. And when you have hurt your wife in ways that will change her forever. It’s easy to beat yourself up. I know I did.
But, we know that shame is the #1 killer in sex addiction recovery. So, we need to be careful HOW we beat ourselves up.
In this episode, I talk about how to navigate the balance between remorse and shame.
I also talk about self-forgiveness and what you need to be cautious of that may lead you to relapse.
You cannot shame someone into changing. And you cannot shame yourself into change.
Focus on HOW you allowed this to happen and WHY you compromised your integrity. You will get far more out of recovery this way than focusing on shameful behavior.
I talk about shame a lot in my book. The High Achiever's Guide to Sex Addiction Recovery: A Proven Blueprint for Successful Professionals to Overcome Sex and Porn Addiction. You can find it here on Amazon and Audible: https://a.co/d/0139OJz5
If you’re a high-achiever, executive, or entrepreneur looking for a recovery group full of like-minded men, visit my website to fill out an application: https://successfuladdict.com/
17 min
August 04 121. Conviction: The Key To Long-Term Sex Addiction Sobriety
Dayle Brenner and I talk about what we both agree is THE KEY to long-term sex addiction sobriety.
Dayle is a certified sex addiction therapist, and she is passionate about creating lasting change.
She and I both have no interest in helping men get sober… we want to see them recover.
Sex addiction recovery will not work if you are just checking off the boxes. Your recovery needs to become something that you are convicted about.
Like entrepreneurship, conviction is what differentiates the average and those who excel.
In this episode, we talk about how someone becomes convicted in their sex addiction recovery and where to start if you aren’t yet convicted.
If you want to reach Dayle, her website is here: https://www.daylebrennerwild.com/
If you have not yet read my book, I talk a lot about convicted recovery and the steps required to step into it. My book can be found here on Amazon and the audiobook on Audible: https://a.co/d/0j6eRiQR
If you want more information on joining one of my recovery groups, visit my website here: https://successfuladdict.com/
48 min
July 28 120. Full Therapeutic Disclosure: Will It Help Repair Your Marriage After Infidelity?
Disclosure is one of the most challenging things couples must manage after sexual betrayal. It’s also the most complicated part of the process.
For sex addicts, they fear that their wife will leave them once they hear about all of the sexual acting-out behaviors. They often think disclosure will not be helpful, but rather traumatize their wife by filling her head with details and fuel for mental imagery.
For partners, they often want the process to accelerate. Waiting another few weeks feels unfair and like torture. It’s also common for them to ask about every little detail in an effort to regain a sense of reality and safety.
For disclosure to work, it needs to be done correctly.
In this episode, I talk about common questions and misconceptions couples face when heading into disclosure.
While I am not a disclosure expert myself, many of my colleagues are excellent at helping couples through it. If you have questions or need a referral, send me an email to roland at successfuladdict.com
23 min
July 21 119. How To Communicate With a Betrayed Partner In Early Sex Addiction Recovery
Communication is everything when in the crisis stage following infidelity.
One of the biggest pains in early sex addiction recovery is the damage that has been caused to the marriage.
Learning how to communicate effectively is key in the first 2 years of sex and porn addiction recovery.
Betrayed partners need a sense of safety and stability. Because trust is gone, communication is all they have to stand on. If you cannot communicate in a way that feels safe and reassuring, you will certainly experience far more relational stress in the first 2 years.
In this episode, I interview Debbie McRae (certified sex addiction therapist). Debbie specializes in working with betrayed partners and couples healing from infidelity.
We talk about the most common communication mistakes we see in betrayal recovery and how you can avoid them.
If you want to get in contact with Debbie, you can find her website here: https://www.debbiemcraecounseling.com/
If you are a business professional, executive, entrepreneur, or business owner looking for a group full of like-minded men to connect with in recovery, visit my website here to apply: www.successfuladdict.com
49 min
July 14 118. The “Root Cause” Myth of Your Sex Addiction
The concept of the “root cause” is a bit oversimplified. Sex addiction is a complex problem that originates from many aspects of your life.
In this episode, I help men grasp the size of compulsive sexual behavior and how complex recovery really is.
Complex does not mean difficult… But it does mean that you will need to take this seriously if you want to achieve lasting recovery.
For the married men listening to this, trust is off the table after you betray your wife sexually. You will need to prove to her that you know how to prevent this from happening again.
At the end of the episode, I give men some ways that they can help uncover the complexities of their process addiction so that they can create an effective recovery plan.
If you have not yet read my book, I spend most of it helping men uncover the “why” behind their sexual acting out. You can find it here on Amazon and on Audible: https://a.co/d/0j6eRiQR
17 min
July 07 117. When Religion Harms Sex Addiction Recovery And How To Avoid It
While faith is often one of the most powerful tools in sex addiction recovery, it can very easily get in the way.
It's been shown that people who grow up in a strict religious household struggle more with sex and porn addiction.
This is primarily due to purity culture and the shame that clouds human sexuality.
Humans are sexual beings. We enjoy sex, and it’s unhealthy to abstain from it.
Shame and guilt drive secrecy, which allows compulsive sexuality to thrive.
When misinterpreted, religion can shame perfectly healthy sexual behaviors.
In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Don Zaksek. We talk about the harm that misinterpreted religion can cause clients in sex addiction recovery.
We also clarify what healthy faith looks like and how it can be used as a powerful sobriety tool.
If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more about Dr. Zaksek, you can find him here at Integrative Psychology: https://www.integrativea2.com/our-staff.htmlI have a ton of respect for Don and trust him with my clients in recovery.
If you are interested in joining one of my upcoming intensives and recovery groups, visit my website here: successfuladdict.com
36 min
June 30 116. Sex Addiction: Excuses Vs Ownership
Does your sex addiction and pornography use often stem from childhood and your teenage years?
Yes. And, you need to make sure you are still taking ownership of your actions today.
In the end, you did what you did, and you chose to hide it, lie about it, and repeat it.
Too often, I see men who get lost in the recovery plan, recovery definitions, and the betrayal healing steps. The result can be a lack of ownership.
I will tell you one thing I know for sure about sex addiction recovery… ownership of your actions is key if you want to achieve lasting recovery and earn back your wife's trust.
In this episode, I share a lesson I learned that changed my own sex addiction recovery. It also ended up taking our marriage in a much more positive direction.
Ownership and acceptance can be a challenging thing to do on your own. You will need a group of guys to call you out and hold you accountable.
This is one of the biggest benefits of peer support in sex addiction recovery.
If you have yet to read or listened to my book, you can find it here on Amazon and Audible: https://a.co/d/06J78kat
17 min
June 23 115. “It’s just porn”, “It was all virtual”, “We never had sex”: Want to Hear The Truth?
Sex addicts in recovery will often compare their compulsive behaviors to those of other men they meet in recovery.
They will say things like:
“Mine wasn’t that bad”
“It was just a few times”
“We never had sex”
“It was all virtual”
“It’s just porn”
There are a few problems with statements like this.
It’s going to hurt your recovery
Comparing yourself to others is likely a big part of your recovery and needs to stop
Your wife couldn't care less what other men are doing
Recovery is about honesty, integrity, and authenticity. It’s about acting in a way that you wouldn’t hide from others.
In this episode, Chris Burns and I talk about these comparative statements and the truth behind them.
Chris is a certified sex addiction therapist and the founder of Re-write Recovery Counseling. He and I both have a passion for helping men live in integrity with their values.
If you’re interested in working with Chris, you can find his website here: https://www.rewrite-recovery.com/
If you are interested in joining one of my recovery groups, you can visit my website here: successfuladdict.com
If you have yet to read or listened to my book, you can find it here on Amazon and Audible: https://a.co/d/06J78kat
48 min
June 16 114. Roland’s Addiction Story
Despite speaking about most of my behaviors over the years. I’ve never shared my sex addiction story on this Podcast before.
In this episode, I walk listeners through my journey front to back.
My childhood and how things led me to acting out.
My early sexual acting-out behaviors and how they evolved.
The events that caused me to develop my specific process addiction in my adulthood
My discovery process
While I’m quite open about my behavior. This was still a scary episode to record.
Our world is not ready to accept sex addicts as they are. There is a ton of judgment and, oftentimes, social consequences if people find out about your past behavior.
I’ve lived those consequences. I’ve been judged and continue to be judged. I’ve lost friends, businesses, and opportunities because of how public I’ve been about my past.
It sucks. Many people won’t let you have this problem. And, that’s not fair. But my hope is that, by being open and sharing my story, the world will one day stop looking at us like freaks and perverts.
I always encourage men to be honest about this, but I do want to prepare you for the potential consequences of doing so.
For the betrayed partners who listened to this episode, thank you for taking the time to hear my story. I know I speak on behalf of all men in recovery when I say: Thank you for giving us a second chance. We don’t deserve it after what we’ve put you through.
40 min
June 09 113. What Your Wife Actually Means: “You’re Not Doing Enough Recovery Work”
Betrayed Partners often say, “You’re not doing enough in your sex addiction recovery.”
There’s a reason why betrayed partners say this, and you need to understand how to answer this question if you hope to rebuild their trust after infidelity.
In this episode, Tiffany Comiskey and I talk about what is going on in the mind of both parties (the sex addict and the betrayed partner) when this question is asked.
Tiffany is a certified coach who works with couples, the betrayed, and the betrayer.
In this podcast, we talk about how men should respond when their sex addiction recovery work is being questioned.
If you are interested in working with Tiffany, you can visit her website here: https://www.hopecfl.com/coach-tiffany
If you have not yet read my book, I outline what is required to be in good recovery in great detail. You can find it on both Amazon and Audible here: https://a.co/d/0iOg7NlH
57 min

About The Sex Addiction Podcast For High-achievers and Entrepreneurs

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Sex addiction recovery is different for high-achievers and entrepreneurs. Their brains are hard-wired for success and a constant desire for more. It is this hard-wiring that makes them so successful.…