In this episode, Kim shares thoughtful ways to support an older child when a newborn joins the family. He emphasizes the importance of maintaining closeness through physical touch and preserving familiar family rhythms. Parents are encouraged to be intentional about cuddling, storytelling, and small rituals, so that the older sibling continues to feel secure and included. One particularly touching suggestion is to tell stories about the older child’s babyhood, helping them feel seen and valued. Kim also discusses using sensory connections like touch and smell to create emotional anchors. He recommends simple practices such as stroking a child’s hair or placing a parent-scented pillowcase on their bed. Establishing a family scrapbook with photos and mementos can reinforce the older child’s place in the family story. These gestures convey that the family’s love and attention still include them fully.

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Kim John Payne offers a view of adolescence by comparing teenage emotions to an artesian water flow. While younger children often express their feelings outwardly, teenagers tend to turn inward. Their emotional lives may seem hidden, but underneath the surface there is a deep, steady movement as they process and explore. Kim encourages parents not to force immediate responses but instead to place low key questions and allow space for a teen’s thoughts and feelings to emerge when they are ready. He describes the importance of patience, of knowing that even in silence there is growth. When the artesian waters do rise, perhaps through a sudden burst of conversation about friends or school, parents can be present to receive what is shared. Trusting in this deeper flow helps maintain connection through quieter phases.

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Kim reflects on the beauty and importance of slow learning. He invites parents to protect and nurture a child’s natural tendency to wonder, observe, and inquire. Instead of immediately reaching for quick answers through digital means, he suggests creating space for questions to unfold over time. One idea he shares is keeping a “wondering notebook,” where children can write or draw the things they are curious about. These questions can later be explored together, perhaps through library visits or talking with knowledgeable people in the community. This kind of slow, relational learning helps children develop strong attention, self-regulation, and a lasting love of inquiry. It stands in contrast to the fast facts of the internet, which Kim likens to the fast food of learning. True understanding, he explains, is more like drawing water from a deep well.

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In this episode, Kim John Payne explores how young children experience emotions as full-body states, rather than isolated feelings they can easily identify and name. He expresses concern about the modern emphasis on naming emotions with young children, noting that their brain development often does not support this level of emotional analysis. Instead of asking children to explain or label their feelings, he encourages parents to simply be present, co-regulate, and help their child move through the emotional experience. One effective tool he describes is sharing an “I remember when” story from your own childhood that mirrors the feeling the child is experiencing. This offers connection and reassurance without pressure to intellectualize. Kim reminds us that this approach is not about denying feelings but about honoring them in a developmentally appropriate way and helping children return to the rhythm of their day.

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Kim offers a fresh perspective on childhood anger, inviting parents to view it as a natural attempt to restore emotional balance. Anger may surface when a child feels powerless, ignored, or overwhelmed, and while it can be loud or disruptive, it is not something to fear. Using the metaphor of a blacksmith’s forge, Kim explains how parents can stay close without getting swept into the heat of the moment. Their calm presence acts like the blacksmith who patiently shapes the molten metal. With steadiness and empathy, adults can help a child begin to settle and eventually work through what caused the outburst. This approach brings dignity and compassion to one of the hardest parenting challenges.

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In this episode, Kim expands on the idea of previewing as a key parenting tool that brings calm and predictability to family life. He describes two types of previews: larger ones that look ahead to the day or week and smaller, moment-to-moment ones that guide children gently through transitions. Previewing helps children develop an inner picture of what’s to come, which in turn reduces anxiety and fosters co-regulation. This shared picture builds trust, soothes nervous systems, and even supports healthy brain development by helping children move from stress to calm thinking. Previewing becomes a quiet but powerful way of helping a child feel safe and seen.

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Kim shares a simple yet powerful approach for when things are heading in a difficult direction with children. The process includes four steps: calm it down, work it out, put it right, and move it on. He emphasizes that meaningful resolution only begins once emotions have settled, so calming the situation is the essential first step. This might involve quiet presence, gentle touch, or a calming story. Once calm has returned, parent and child can begin to reflect, understand what happened, make amends, and move forward together. These steps help children feel emotionally supported and teach valuable tools for conflict resolution and resilience.

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In this episode we hear how to help a child who insists on being helped do things they are perfectly capable of doing themselves, and how to support them in finding ways to problem solve and build greater agency and competency.

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In this episode we explore why children cling on to a parent at bedtime and refuse to sleep unless they mom/dad/caregiver is laying next to them. As always we hear about ways to help this tendency that mainly relate to establishing times of connection throughout the day.

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In this episode we explore how to help tween and teens develop a plan for when things go wrong and how to adjust in order to keep moving towards their goal.

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