Have you ever felt like everything was going right in your relationship? You are laughing, communicating well, when all of a sudden the mood has dramatically shifted? What just happened? Chances are you’ve rubbed up against a “raw spot” in the relationship. According to Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, almost all of us have at least one hypersensitivity, or “raw spot” that, when rubbed in a relationship, can cause immediate feelings of emotional detachment, hurt, and abandonment. Learn how to spot the raw spots in your relationships, and, more importantly, how to heal them. Tony refers to Helena Madsen’s article “Living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” in the podcast. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/chronic-illness-hypersensitivity-relationships/

For many, a faith community, or religious congregation, is a safe place to return regularly to be spiritually fed before heading back to an often chaotic world. But what happens when that previously “safe” community begins to feel like a place where one is no longer welcome? Is the problem with the individual, or with the community, or congregation? If you are a parent to someone who is experiencing a faith crisis, what do you do? Are there certain things that you say that seem to trigger emotional responses that appear to come out of nowhere? If you’re the one experiencing the “faith crisis” how do you communicate with your family or faith community?

Tony explores this topic from a variety of angles, from empathy, and Christlike love, to explore what it means to judge righteously, and why identifying as someone more connected to Truth, Beauty, or Goodness matters? And finally, Tony discusses James Fowler’s Stages of Faith, and how understanding where you are, or where a loved one may be, can help bring more peace, and understanding, into a relationship where a belief system is at the core of the disagreements.

Have you ever heard the phrase “Happy Wife, Happy Life?” As cliched as it sounds, there may actually be some data to back it up. A study published in the Los Angeles Times in the late ’90s, that has since been built upon, shares that the key to a strong marriage is for a husband to be willing to accept his wife’s influence. Tony talks about why simply “active listening” is not enough, and how this study, published by the Gottman Institute, paved the way for more of the evidence-based marriage therapy programs like John Gottman’s own work in empathy and understanding, as well as how this work affected modalities like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples.

The article referenced in the podcast can be found here

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1998-feb-21-mn-21412-story.html more information on John and Julie Gottman can be found at http://gottman.com and more information on Tony, and the Virtual Couch podcast can be found at http://tonyoverbay.com

Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

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