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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down a question so many people quietly struggle with—especially this time of year:
Why do I feel calm and trusting with my partner sometimes… and anxious, suspicious, or insecure with them at other times—when nothing has actually changed?
As the holidays approach and routines shift, old patterns can resurface. Shanenn explains why these emotional swings don’t mean you’re inconsistent, broken, or ignoring red flags. Instead, they’re signals from your nervous system responding to changing conditions—not changing relationship facts.
This episode offers a powerful reframe that removes shame, self-blame, and overthinking—and replaces them with clarity, self-trust, and nervous-system awareness so you can stop turning emotions into verdicts about your relationship.
Key Moments:
Golden Episode Nuggets:
💎 Calm and anxiety can exist in the same relationship without either one being “the truth”
💎 You didn’t lose trust—you lost nervous system capacity
💎 Emotional states are signals, not verdicts about your relationship
💎 Feeling anxious doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or your partner
💎 Regulation comes from working with your nervous system, not fighting it
Quote of the Episode:
“Your ability to feel calm, trusting, and connected isn’t created by the person in front of you. It’s created by the state your nervous system is in.”Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.
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Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy
Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down why small moments in your relationship can trigger huge emotional reactions.
If you’ve ever felt embarrassed by your reaction, overwhelmed by jealousy, or hijacked by anxiety over something that logically felt minor, this episode explains what’s really happening beneath the surface.
Shanenn introduces the concept of emotional agility—the ability to feel deeply without losing yourself—and explains why trust, confidence, and security aren’t built by suppressing emotions, but by learning how to stay present with them. This episode offers practical tools to help you stop spiraling, rebuild self-trust, and respond instead of react
Golden Episode Nuggets
💎 Your reactions aren’t random—your nervous system is trying to protect you
💎 Feeling deeply is capacity, not a weakness
💎 Trust is built through experience, not reassurance
💎 Naming sensations instead of emotions creates emotional power
💎 Discomfort doesn’t mean danger—nothing has gone wrong
💎 Staying with a feeling builds confidence one moment at a time
Key Moments
Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.
Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe
Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy
Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
If you've ever thought "I'm too much," felt shame around your jealousy, or struggled with feeling "needy" in relationships, this episode will be a relief and a revelation. Shanenn sits down with Trevor Hansen, coach and founder of The Art of Healing, to dismantle the shame loop of anxious attachment and show how it can be transformed into self-trust and secure connection.
Trevor shares his raw personal story—from toxic relationships and a broken jaw to leaving a high-powered career at Tesla—and the powerful tools he discovered to move from fear to security. This is a must-listen for anyone stuck in the cycle of over-functioning, people pleasing, or "proving" their worth in love.
IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN:
GOLDEN NUGGETS:
GUEST BIO: Trevor Hansen is a relationship coach and the founder of The Art of Healing. After navigating his own journey through anxious attachment and emotional wounding, he now helps individuals break the cycle of fear-based relationships and build secure emotional foundations. His Secure Self Club is transforming lives by helping clients go from insecure to grounded in just months.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "You're no longer a problem to be solved, but a person to be loved."
PERFECT FOR LISTENERS WHO...
Loved this episode? Be sure to leave a review and share how you're starting to show up for your inner child.
Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.
Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe
Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy
Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
🦋 Join the experience - enroll in 30 Days to Different today!
In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn flips the script on what it means to be “the jealous one” in a relationship—and trust us, you’ll never see your spirals the same again.
Ever swear you’re not going to snoop, spiral, or snap... and then do it anyway? That doesn’t mean you’re some controlling jerk. It means you’ve got a genius-level nervous system doing exactly what it was wired to do: keep you safe.
This solo episode unpacks the psychology behind jealousy, why it’s not sabotage but stabilization, and how to trade unhealthy patterns for new, empowering ones—without shaming the old you who just wanted to feel safe.
Oh, and there’s a German shepherd, a deer, some stargazing, and one mood-ruining poop. You’ve been warned.
💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:
🗝️ Key Moments:
🔥 Want to Go Deeper?
30 Days to Different is officially open for enrollment!
If you’re ready to ditch the spiral and actually rewire the patterns of jealousy, this is your moment.
✔ Daily mindset rewires
✔ 6 live Zoom sessions
✔ Nervous system & neuroscience-based tools
🔗 Join now: TopSelf.com
or scroll down to the show notes to click the link!
🎧 Perfect for Listeners Who:
💬 Quote of the Episode:
“You’re not a jerk. You’re a genius. You built brilliant coping strategies inside a broken ecosystem.” – Shanenn Bryant📣 Don’t forget!
Let me know if you'd like this formatted for upload to your podcast host (Buzzsprout, Libsyn, etc.), or if you want social media promo captions for this episode next.
Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.
Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe
Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy
Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
Schedule your Discovery Call here
In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn dives into one of the most exhausting relationship cycles—when you keep second-guessing your partner, breaking up, getting back together, and wondering if they’re “the one.”
The truth? Your confusion isn’t about your partner. It’s about your pattern.
If you’ve ever caught yourself analyzing every text, tone, or gesture, or if you’re tired of asking “should I stay or should I go?”, this episode will hit home. Shanenn unpacks how fear, self-doubt, and emotional hot potatoes (yep, you read that right) keep us in chaos—and what to do instead.
You’ll learn how to pause the decision, regulate your nervous system, and start building self-trust, so you can finally feel confident in your choices—no matter who you’re with.
💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:
💡 Key Moments:
❤️ Quote of the Episode:
🧠 Resources Mentioned:
✨ Perfect for listeners who:
🔥 Call to Action:
If you’re ready to stop spiraling and start trusting yourself again, book a free discovery call with Shanenn. This is the work she does every day—helping you rebuild from the inside out, so you stop changing partners and start changing your pattern.
🎧 Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with a friend who needs to hear:
You don’t have to fix your relationship today—you just have to come back to yourself.
Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.
Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe
Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy
Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
Schedule your FREE Discovery Call
In this powerful solo episode, Shanenn cracks open a question many of us quietly carry:
“If I weren’t jealous… who would I be?”
From the deck of a cruise ship years ago to the emotional trenches of everyday hypervigilance, Shanenn walks you through how jealousy feels like its become your identity—and how to begin shedding it.
She reveals why your brain clings to jealousy like a job, how it tricks you into thinking you're protecting yourself, and the truth about what control really looks like. If you've ever spiraled over a thong-wearing dancer or found yourself interrogating a partner just to feel safe, this one’s for you.
This episode is an invitation to stop playing small, stop playing scared—and remember who you were before jealousy moved in.
💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:
🔑 Key Moments:
💖 Perfect for listeners who:
Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.
Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe
Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy
Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
Schedule your FREE 30-Minute Discovery Call here
In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn gets real about a silent habit that so many listeners can relate to—but few talk about openly: using alcohol to cope with jealousy, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm in relationships.
From the glass of wine that helps you "take the edge off" before date night… to the third drink that leads to a spiral of shame, regret, and disconnection—this episode breaks down what’s really happening when we reach for a drink to manage our feelings.
Shanenn explores how alcohol not only numbs the bad stuff, but also disconnects you from your intuition, dulls your emotional clarity, and makes jealousy even harder to navigate. You'll learn practical tools to pause, get curious about your emotions, and build real self-trust—without having to escape into a buzz.
This episode isn’t anti-alcohol. It’s pro-you.
💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:
🔑 Key Moments:
🧠 Resources & Coaching Mentioned:
🗣️ Quote of the Episode:
“Every time you choose to be real instead of numb, you’re doing something really brave.” – Shanenn BryantSchedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.
Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe
Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy
Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
Schedule your FREE Discovery Call
In this solo episode of Top Self, host Shanenn dives deep into one of the most anxiety-triggering scenarios in relationships: witnessing your partner flirt with someone else. Is it a sign they’re unhappy? Are they secretly interested in someone else? Or…could it mean something entirely different?
Drawing from scientific research and her personal journey, Shanenn shares the six core reasons people flirt—and reveals that only one of them is actually about sex. With compassionate insights and a powerful reframe on validation, esteem, and trust, this episode offers a fresh, empowering take on how to handle flirting without spiraling into insecurity.
If you've ever felt the sting of jealousy or wanted to understand what flirting really means in a committed relationship, this episode is a must-listen.
💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:
🧠 Key Moments:
🧰 Resources & Mentions:
Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.
Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe
Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy
Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
Enroll in the Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp starting soon!
In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn shares a deeply relatable scenario: it’s 10 p.m., you’re staring at your phone, spiraling over a text that simply says, “Okay, sounds good. Talk to you tomorrow.” If that’s ever sent you into an emotional tailspin, this episode is for you.
We explore why relationship insecurity creates an overwhelming urge to process everything out loud—and why your friends might be reaching their limit. Shanenn dives into the neuroscience of emotional regulation, the critical role of co-regulation, and why being understood by someone who “gets it” can feel like a lifeline.
You’ll learn why exhausting your friendships isn’t the answer—and how group support like Talk It Out Tuesday and the Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp can offer real change, practical tools, and deep emotional relief.
💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:
⏱ Key Moments:
👩🏫 Shanenn Says:
"Insecurity is a terrible roommate. It never cleans up its mess and always leaves you drained."🧰 Resources Mentioned:
Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.
Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe
Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy
Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down one of the most common communication traps in relationships: expecting your partner to read your mind.
Whether you're silently hoping your partner just knows you need a hug—or you're dropping hints that never land—this episode is your guide to getting what you actually need without spiraling, snapping, or shutting down.
From attachment styles to the six human needs, Shanenn explains why asking isn’t needy—it’s necessary—and gives you the exact words to use so your partner can finally show up for you.
💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:
⏰ Key Moments:
🔗 Resources Mentioned:
💬 Quote of the Episode:
“Your needs are like GPS coordinates. Without them, your partner is just driving in circles—hoping to land at the right destination.”
🎯 Perfect for listeners who:
Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.
Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe
Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy
Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
From the publisher's feed
Struggling with jealousy, insecurity, or self-doubt? You're not alone. Join Pattern Transformation Expert Shanenn Bryant as she combines humor, hard-won wisdom, and practical strategies to help you…
Shanenn draws from her experience and expertise in attachment theory to help women transform from overwhelming insecurity to unshakeable confidence in both relationships and career. Whether you're battling relationship jealousy or letting imposter syndrome hold you back in the workplace, you'll discover how to recognize your patterns, regulate your emotions, and transform your story.
Ready to stop letting insecurity and jealousy run your life? Subscribe now to start writing a new story - one that isn't controlled by old patterns or endless overthinking.
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