🤣 🤣  Get ready to laugh your way through relationship real talk! 

In this episode, we're joined by the hilarious duo from the "We're Not Fine" podcast - relationship therapist Dr. Talia Jackson and Doug Jensen - for an unfiltered discussion about those "Is this normal?" relationship questions.

Shanenn, Talia, and Doug dive into:

• The great memorabilia debate: Is it okay to keep items from past relationships?
• The Instagram thirst trap dilemma: When does looking become liking?
• The workplace flirting fear: Where's the line between friendly and flirty?

Don't Miss Moments:

• "We're all human. And one of the things I think we don't do well in our culture is allow humanness." - on relationship reality checks
• "If you can't have fun and make light sometimes about serious things, you know, we just gotta lighten the mood sometimes." - on keeping perspective
• The hilarious algorithm incident that has Doug mysteriously following muscular men cooking with pugs 🐶

Golden Nuggets: 

💎 Transparency and trust are more important than trying to protect your partner from difficult truths 

💎 Every relationship needs its own unique agreements about boundaries 

💎 Growth in relationships often means moving from insecurity to security through open communication 

💎 Sometimes the hardest conversations are the most important ones to have

Action Items from the Episode:

• Have an open discussion with your partner about relationship boundaries and agreements
• Practice distinguishing between secrecy and privacy in your relationship
• Consider whether your social media behavior aligns with your relationship values
• Remember that what works for one couple might not work for another

About Our Guests: 

Dr. Talia Jackson and Doug Jensen host the "We're Not Fine" podcast where they talk about relationships with no holds barred. Their combined expertise in relationship therapy and real-world experience brings both professional insight and practical wisdom to relationship discussions.

Find the Guests:

• Instagram: @DouglaslJensen and @DrTaliaJackson
• Podcast: We're Not Fine
• Website: werenotfine.com
• YouTube: We're Not Fine
• TikTok: @werenotfine

Perfect for listeners who:

• Want honest, unfiltered relationship advice
• Need a good laugh while tackling serious topics
• Are curious about what's "normal" in relationships
• Want to build healthier relationship boundaries
• Enjoy real talk about modern relationship challenges

Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!

Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!

Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

❤️ The Date Doctor is Here!

In this episode of Top Self, we sit down with Dr. Christie Kederian, renowned relationship therapist, former eHarmony matchmaker, and author of the upcoming book "Ten Dates to Your Soulmate." Dr. K shares her expert insights on building healthy relationships, understanding family dynamics, and navigating the modern dating landscape with authenticity and purpose.

Key Moments

🎯 [02:04] The unique perspective of a therapist-matchmaker and the importance of having expert guidance in relationship choices 

🎯 [05:09] Understanding family dynamics and how they shape our relationship patterns 

🎯 [09:42] How to have vulnerable conversations about your past without oversharing 

🎯 [17:54] Reading relationship red flags through someone's response to boundaries 

🎯 [22:37] The truth about chemistry: It's more than just physical attraction 🎯 [29:58] Why over-filtering potential partners might be blocking you from finding love 

🎯 [32:39] The role of attachment styles in relationship dynamics

Golden Nuggets

💎 Chemistry isn't just about initial spark - it develops over time and has multiple dimensions 

💎 It typically takes women 5-7 dates to truly sense chemistry with someone 

💎 Your family background influences your relationship patterns, whether you're close to them or not 

💎 The "village mentality" is crucial for healthy relationships - don't expect your partner to be everything 

💎 True empathy is a key indicator of relationship potential

About Our Guest

Dr. Christie Kederian is a renowned relationship therapist and former eHarmony matchmaker known as "The Date Doctor." Her upcoming book "Ten Dates to Your Soulmate" provides a strategic roadmap for finding and maintaining healthy relationships.

Action Steps for Listeners

• Practice sharing vulnerable information progressively rather than all at once
• Notice how potential partners respond to your boundaries
• Look beyond surface-level chemistry to explore emotional and intellectual connections
• Consider how your family background influences your relationship patterns
• Focus on one date at a time instead of immediately evaluating long-term potential

Notable Quotes

"Chemistry has a lot more to do with the connection with someone over a period of time... There's physical chemistry, emotional chemistry, intellectual chemistry." - Dr. Christie Kederian

"How someone responds when you communicate that you're triggered... that's where really the beautiful corrective emotional experience happens." - Dr. Christie Kederian

Perfect For Listeners Who:

• Are actively dating and feeling overwhelmed by the process
• Want to understand how their family background affects

Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!

Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!

Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this powerful episode, Shanenn opens up about childhood trauma and how it shapes our relationship behaviors through hypervigilance.

Episode Highlights

• The development of hypervigilance as a childhood survival skill
• How childhood experiences with alcoholic parents can create heightened threat detection systems
• Why hypervigilance often gets mistaken for good intuition
• The physical and emotional toll of maintaining constant vigilance

Key Insights

• 70% of children from alcoholic homes develop hypervigilant traits that persist into adulthood
• Our body's stress response system gets programmed in childhood
• Emotional threats are processed by our bodies the same way as physical threats
• Hypervigilance can create false beliefs and misinterpretation of neutral situations

References Mentioned

• "The Body Keeps the Score" by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk - Purchase Book
  • Please note, I am an Amazon affiliate and I may receive a commission if you purchase this book from this link
• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp - Register here
  • Any issues with registration reach out to [email protected]

Call to Action
Join the Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp for:
- Access to the Overthinkers Toolkit
- 21 days of core wound reprogramming
- Daily check-ins and support
- Private session included
- Workbook and guided meditation resources

Time Stamps

[00:00:00] Introduction and welcome
[00:01:22] Personal story about childhood trauma
[00:05:04] Development of hypervigilance as a survival skill
[00:06:21] Scientific explanation of threat detection systems
[00:09:15] Research on childhood trauma and relationship hypervigilance
[00:15:07] Difference between curiosity and hypervigilance
[00:17:06] Body tension awareness exercise
[00:21:12] Reference to "The Body Keeps the Score" exercises
[00:22:18] Information about the bootcamp program
[00:25:52] Closing thoughts and practical steps forward

Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!

Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!

Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Wanna know the science behind being happier?  Check out this week's episode with Tedx speaker and happiness expert Tia Graham.

Tia Graham shares some powerful stuff about choosing happiness, managing triggers, and transforming childhood trauma. 

From practical happiness frameworks to deeply personal stories about motherhood and healing, this episode is jammed packed with valuable tools for anyone looking to increase their joy and emotional regulation.

Episode Highlights:

• The SPIRE framework for wellbeing: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and Emotional
• Why some people are naturally happier than others (and what we can all do about it)
• How childhood trauma can impact our adult relationships and parenting
• Practical tools for managing triggers and regulating your nervous system
• The power of short, meaningful connections with friends

Key Takeaways:

• The MEDS Framework for Daily Happiness

• Three Ways to Increase Happiness

• Tools for Managing Triggers

Guest Spotlight:

Tia Graham is a happiness expert and speaker who helps working moms find peace, joy, and emotional regulation. After transforming her own relationship with happiness through both personal experience and scientific study, she now leads the Calm Working Moms Collective.

Resources Mentioned:

• Book: "Self Compassion" by Dr. Kristen Neff
• Free Resource: 30 Self-Care Practices in 5 Minutes or Less at www.calmworkingmoms.com/selfcare
• The Calm Working Moms Collective

Perfect For Listeners Who:

• Want to increase their daily happiness
• Struggle with emotional triggers
• Are working through childhood trauma
• Need practical self-regulation tools
• Want to build stronger relationships

Quotable Moments:

"Happiness is a choice and it's something that you have agency over."

"Everyone can make it better for themselves... there is a component of choice and agency, and that's really around your thoughts, your behaviors, your responses."

Timestamp Highlights:

[00:01:23]  Tia's journey into happiness research 
[00:04:17]  Understanding happiness set points 
[00:04:51]  The SPIRE framework explained 
[00:12:33]  Personal story about childhood trauma 
[00:17:14]   Practical tools for emotional regulation 
[00:21:25]  Free self-care resource introduction

Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!

Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!

Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Ever caught yourself having a meltdown or giving your partner the cold shoulder because you're feeling insecure? (Been there, done that!) 
 
In this follow-up to our conversation with Dr. Brittany McGeehan, we're going in hard on a game-changing truth: the only person who can't abandon you is yourself. 
 
Get ready for some fiery talk about self-trust, validation-seeking, and why your inner child needs a time-out from running your relationships.

Key Takeaways

• Why are you testing your partner with "abandonment scales" that don't exist 
• How suppressing emotions is actually self-abandonment in disguise
• The truth about external validation and why it's like trying to fill a leaky bucket
• Why building self-trust doesn't mean becoming a totally independent island
• How to stop abandoning yourself (even when you're feeling super insecure)

Memorable Quotes

💭 "Self-trust is the belief that you can rely on yourself to make decisions, handle emotions, and honor your needs"

Signs You Might Be Abandoning Yourself

1. Ignoring or suppressing your true feelings
2. Saying "yes" when you really mean "no"
3. Overworking to prove your worth
4. Putting others' needs first (even when you're running on empty)
5. Tolerating disrespect to keep the peace

Your Self-Trust Action Plan

1. Notice when you're seeking external validation
2. Challenge your black-and-white thinking
3. Start honoring your emotions 
4. Practice setting boundaries
5. Trust that you can handle whatever comes your way

Episode Timeline

• 00:00 Welcome & Episode Recap
• 02:33 The Only Person Who Can't Abandon You
• 07:15 What Would Complete Self-Trust Feel Like?
• 12:45 The Closet Meltdown Story
• 18:30 Understanding Self-Abandonment
• 25:45 Building Real Self-Trust
• 29:20 Final Thoughts & Resources

Resources Mentioned

• Free Self-Discovery Workshop (Registration is Open!)
• Last Week's Episode with Dr. Brittany McGeehan (Episode 100)

Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!

Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!

Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

This episode is fire! 🔥

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn talks with Dr. Brittany McGeehan, who dropped a major truth bomb that made her stop everything: You’ll have to hit play to hear it.  This may be the only thing you need to hear today!   

Dr. McGeehan, a licensed psychologist and performance coach specializing in empowering high-achieving female CEOs, shares the "Drama Triangle" and why we keep getting stuck in these relationship cycles.  And you better believe Shanenn of course asked her how to get off the Drama Triangle cycle.

Key Moments:

• 2:36 - Review of the Drama Triangle (your new favorite relationship framework)
• 5:03 - The sneaky way victim mode shows up 
• 15:18 - Your practical escape route from the triangle 
• 21:40 - Why female CEOs are exceptional fixers 

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 Your inner five-year-old has bigger control issues than you think

💎 The most dangerous thing you can do is talk to another human being (what?)

💎 Why your planning mode might be making things worse

💎 Giving the silent treatment is just spicy punishment in disguise

Don't Miss Moments:

"Humans are messy. The most dangerous thing you can do in life is talk to another human being and be in relationship with them." - on why relationships are inherently risky

"Adults always have a choice. We might not feel like we do, and we might not like that choice, but we always have a choice." - on breaking free from victim mode

Resources Mentioned:

- The Drama Triangle Framework

- The Powerhouse Paradox Framework

About Our Guest:

Dr. Brittany McGeehan is a licensed psychologist and performance coach who helps high-achieving female CEOs navigate personal and professional challenges through inner child work and leadership development.

Take Action:

Ready to figure out your drama profile? Take Dr. McGeehan's Powerhouse Paradox Quiz to discover your unique profile and get a personalized roadmap for building better relationships.

Perfect for listeners who:

- Find themselves constantly trying to "fix" their partner

- Feel trapped between victim and villain roles

- Are tired of being the relationship project manager

- Want to understand why they keep falling into the same patterns

- Need to stop treating their partner like a task list

Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!

Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!

Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Shanenn understands how deeply our patterns are embedded in every corner of our existence. It turns out that relationship anxiety isn't just an isolated phenomenon – it's part of a larger tapestry of how we navigate life's complexities.

What We're Diving Into:

• The revelation that your inner critic has apparently developed a rather impressive portfolio, showing up everywhere in your life from dating, to work, to relationships... all of it

• What Top Self is currently offering so you can make this your year of change.

• The fascinating discovery that our defense mechanisms are surprisingly consistent performers across all life domains

Notable Moments:

"Our programming isn't compartmentalized" – which explains why some people lead the way they do, why some people react the way they do, why some people take things so personally.  our patterns are everywhere and we are on autopilot unaware of most of them.  

What's Available For You Now:

• Behind Your Jealous Mind Boot Camp: Six weeks of methodical pattern disruption ($397)
• One-on-one coaching: For those ready to conduct a thorough investigation of their life patterns
• CIS Membership: A collective of women examining their shared experiences with refreshing candor

Episode Breakdown: 
00:00 - Embracing 2025 
01:00 - The Paradigm Shift 
03:00 - Origins and Evolution 
05:00 - Pattern Recognition 
08:00 - Strategic Next Steps 
12:00 - Closing Thoughts

Remember: You're part of a community navigating these waters together.

For your next steps in pattern recognition and reformation, visit topself.com/bootcamp.

Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!

Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!

Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

What will you be thinking ONE YEAR from now?

Will it be the same thoughts you're having today?  Will you're focus be on the same things?

In this episode, we explore how your life could look totally different one year from now and why your thoughts might be your biggest obstacle to change. Shanenn gives an example of what she calls "heavy thinking" or better known as a thought spiral and suggests you could try to do the opposite.

What?

Shanenn shares:

• How your thoughts have likely been your biggest enemy this year and the physical impact of negative thought spirals on your body and emotions 🌀

• Why "heavy thinking" can be as intoxicating like heavy drinking, and how it leads to anxiety, upset stomach, and racing thoughts 😰

• The snowball effect of negative thoughts and how one small trigger (like a partner's schedule change) can lead to a full-blown emotional crisis 🔄

• The power of intentionally changing your "think of choice" and creating positive thought spirals for the new year 🌟

Don't Miss Moments:

"Repetition plus emotion programs life's commotion" - on how repeated thought patterns shape our reality

"What if, in this new year, you intentionally change your think of choice?" - on taking control of your thought patterns

Action Items from the Episode:

• Practice awareness of your thought patterns
• Start creating intentional positive thought spirals
• Envision how you want to feel and think in the next year
• Consider joining the upcoming Behind Your Jealous Mind Boot Camp in early February
• Practice positive overthinking, especially during morning anxiety

You would be amazed what a difference a year can make and you're worth putting in the time!

00:00 Introduction and the Power of Belief in Change
02:15 Understanding Heavy Thinking
03:45 The Spiral of Negative Thoughts
04:30 Physical and Emotional Impact of Thought Patterns
05:20 Creating Positive Thought Spirals
06:40 Envisioning Your Future Self

Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!

Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!

Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

🎁  Only a few days left to claim your "Pay-What-You-Can" Coaching Session with me.

This episode talks about the crucial difference between guilt and shame, and why one might be secretly sabotaging your relationship growth.

Shanenn shares:

• How guilt is like your relationship GPS - letting you know when you've made a wrong turn, while shame is more like a brick wall blocking all possible routes 🚧

• Why treating yourself like your own mean girl isn't helping (and what Brené Brown has to say about it) 💭


Don't Miss Moments:

• "Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change" - breaking down Brené Brown's powerful insight

• "We're not going to take the steps to become self-aware if we believe we're fundamentally flawed" - on why shame keeps us stuck

Action Items from the Episode:

• Notice the difference between "I did something bad" vs. "I am bad"

• Practice self-compassion by asking "What would I say to a friend?"

• Start shortening your recovery time after jealous reactions

• Break free from shame cycles with practical tools

• Save your spot in the January "Behind Your Jealous Mind Boot Camp"

⚡️ Special Holiday Offer: Book your pay-what-you-can coaching session (min. $25) through December 31st at www.topself.com - Limited spots remaining!

00:00 Understanding Jealousy and Negative Emotions
00:18 Holiday Season Special: 12 Hours of Giving
01:58 Exciting Announcements for 2025
02:41 Introduction to Guilt and Shame
03:46 The Difference Between Guilt and Shame
04:33 The Impact of Guilt and Shame on Jealousy
10:44 Strategies to Manage Guilt and Shame
12:02 Upcoming Bootcamp and Final Thoughts

Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!

Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!

Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Do you enjoy how you're currently spending your time?  Do you feel like you use your time wisely?  When I am insecure and jealous, I don't!  

When you're feeling jealous, most likely you are spending your very precious time thinking about your partner rather than spending it on things that bring you joy, not a stomach ache.

In this episode, Shanenn and Dr. Adam Dorsay talk about the concept of connection in our modern world. Despite being more technologically connected than ever, many people struggle with loneliness and disconnection. Dr. Dorsay shares insights from his new book, Super Psyched about authentic connection and how to find it in various aspects of life.

Key Topics Discussed:

• The paradox of being technologically connected yet feeling disconnected
• The four dimensions of connection: self, others, world, and something greater
• How social media comparison affects our relationships and self-image
• Practical tips for maintaining long-distance friendships
• Creating novel experiences with your partner to strengthen connection
• The importance of investing time in activities that truly energize us

Notable Quotes: "We're more connected technologically than ever before... And yet, we are less connected than ever before." - Dr. Adam Dorsay

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Dorsay's Book Super Psyched
• Super Psyched Podcast
• Dr. Pat Love's "Hot Monogamy"

Connect with Dr. Adam Dorsay:

• Website: www.dradamdorsay.com
• TEDx Talks: "Friendship in Adulthood" and "Men and Emotions"

Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!

Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!

Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.