The Angry Therapist Podcast

What Changes After 40: Love, Selfhood, and What Matters


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John sits down in Costa Rica (yes, literally in a golf cart) with two therapists — Vanessa Bennett and Madeleine Downey — for a “therapists are humans too” episode built around questions you’d ask in therapy… that end up turning into real-time revelations about identity after 40, emotional safety, and what we stop tolerating once we’ve lived a little.

This conversation lands especially hard if you’re in that season of life where you’re asking: Why doesn’t the old version of me fit anymore? and What do I actually want now — in love, in friendship, in myself?

Inner Compass Academy (Next cohort starts Feb 15, 2026) Apply Here: https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy

If you apply, make sure to mention you were referred by The Angry Therapist Podcast - and if you’re approved, you’ll get $100 off.


🔗 Guest Links: Madeleine Downey

Instagram: @madeleinedowney

Substack (It’s Giving Alchemy): https://madeleinedowney.substack.com

Shadow Work Group – Inner Compass Collective: https://inner-compass-collective.circle.so/


Vanessa Bennett

Instagram @vanessasbennett

Apply to Inner Compass Academy: https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy

Author of “The Motherhood Myth” Buy the Book Here: https://www.amazon.com/Motherhood-Myth-Reimagining-Expectations-Partnership/dp/1649633416


🎙️ Host Links:

Surf, Sex & Pancakes - Join John Kim for a surf retreat in Costa Rica.

More information: HERE

Sign up HERE

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStackHERE

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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The Angry Therapist PodcastBy The Angry Therapist

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