Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question about being gaslit. If your addict is constantly making you feel like you’re in the wrong, you’re at fault and takes no responsibility for his own actions, his own addictions, then what are you getting out of the relationship? It’s important to take care of yourself first because there’s only so much you can give before you hit a breaking point.

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[0:30] My husband of 35 years does not feel guilty for cheating. Is this normal?

[3:35] Addicts spend their life escaping their guilt. Addicts live in denial.

[4:40] If you go to a 12-step meeting and all you do is feel humiliated. You’re missing the point.

[8:25] Feeling humilitated is not an excuse.

[8:40] What do I do as a betrayed partner in a 34-year marriage? He’s been emotionally avoidant during the entire relationship.

[13:45] The man who is not emotionally supportive of his spouse is also hurting his children.

[15:30] No matter how hard you want to fix things, you can’t create motivation in someone else.

[16:00] I’m the youngest and the only male out of 4 siblings. How do I fix my relationship with my siblings?

[20:00] Rob runs free meetings because he wants to help people who can’t afford treatment.

[20:45] Is he gaslighting me?

[22:20] If you’re the only one in the wrong if the addict is always blaming you, what benefit are you getting out of that relationship?

[26:50] Go see a lawyer and know your rights.

[27:35] I’m disgusted by my addict's actions. I don’t want to be intimate with him. What do I do?

 

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: [email protected]

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss