Rob and Tami sit down to answer some important questions from the community. They dive into what are the best ways to help an addict in denial, how do you know if you’re truly attracted to someone or if that’s just your addiction talking, and Rob explains in depth what sexual sobriety means. 

 

TAKEAWAYS: 

[0:30] How do you create the best environment for someone who is in denial about their substance abuse problems? 

[6:05] You can’t help someone that doesn’t want to get out. 

[7:35] My spouse won’t talk to me. How do I help her heal from my betrayal? 

[13:15] How do you know if you’re truly attracted to someone or just using them as an escape?

[17:00] How are couples overcoming betrayal while navigating shelter-in-place orders due to COVID-19? 

[20:50] If you are seeking therapy for chem sex, make sure you find a place that has the capability to handle both sex and drugs because some drug rehab centers do not focus on the intimacy piece, just the drug piece. 

[24:35] What is sexual sobriety? 

 

RESOURCES: 

Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Book by Robert Weiss

 

QUOTES: 

• “Trying is just not a thing. When I’m looking at what an addict is doing, I’m interested in their actions and behaviors.” 
• “Don’t threaten to leave someone unless you’re really going to leave, because if you don’t, they know they’ve got you.”
• “Ladies, with all due respect, you’re too easy on us. You put up with far too much.” 
• “When we’re dealing with a naturally occurring function that has run off the rails like sex and food, sobriety is more about having the way you’re living line up with your values.”