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Ever feel like you've been on a rollercoaster without a seatbelt? Welcome to a relationship with someone w/BPD. In this episode, I want to break down BPD. We will look at understanding the idealization-devaluation cycle typical in BPD relationships, recognizing signs of emotional dysregulation and its effects on partners and practical, actionable advice for setting boundaries and improving communication.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Do you feel confused all of the time? Are you wondering if they are a safe person? This confusion frequently arises from past trauma resurfacing or the dynamics of the present relationship. This episode provides an honest self-reflection and thorough questioning to help you discern if you are in a healthy, safe relationship.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Are you feeling crazy after a breakup? The intense emotional upheaval that follows breaking up with a manipulative partner is insane. Many people find themselves questioning their sanity and grapple with self-blame and confusion—emotions often amplified by their ex-partners' toxic behaviors.
This episode explores the cycle of manipulation. I explore a few key concepts:
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Wondering how to work with me? This episode breaks it down.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Do toxic relationships make you mirror abusive behaviors?
In this episode, I explore a common question: am I just like them? I explore whether living with a narcissist or emotionally abusive partner can make us react in ways that feel out of character, just to survive.
Key Takeaways:
- Understanding reactive abuse and why it happens.
- Strategies for setting boundaries with yourself and others.
- The importance of recognizing your triggers and maintaining your individuality.
Tune in to learn how to navigate these challenging situations without losing yourself.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Chantal Contorines, a high conflict co-parenting coach and mentor, joins me to delve into the complexities of "co-parenting" with a Narcissist. We discuss strategies for being the best advocate for your child.
In this episode, we address:
Chantel's instagram is filled with validating and informative content: https://www.instagram.com/chantal.contorines.coaching/
Learn more about her work on her website: https://www.thedivorcehub.ca/
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
This is an emotional and Narcissistic abuse Q and A episode. In this episode, I respond to questions sent through the FanMail option on my podcast host. I listeners' questions are answered regarding patterns of abusive behavior and seeking support outside family who may not understand the situation.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Today, Paul interviews me! Paul Colaianni brings his unique perspective as both a former emotionally abusive person turned healer. He shares that abusers often employ grooming tactics like mirroring their victim’s interests to gain trust before turning the tables to exert control. I recount my personal battle with emotional abuse. I describe how she lost touch with her intuition and began conflating my needs with those imposed by my partner.
Key takeaways from this conversation include:
🔹 Understanding how to differentiate between needs and wants in relationships
🔹 Learning the importance of maintaining individual identity within partnerships
🔹 Recognizing the value in honoring yourself while still caring for others
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
On this episode, I dive into healing from narcissistic and emotional abuse. This episode covers a few various perspectives and a toolkit for recognizing manipulative behaviors, setting personal boundaries, and nurturing self-love.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- Strategies to begin the healing process after abusive relationships
- Understanding triggers and how to navigate them positively
- Tips on identifying red flags in new relationships post-healing
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Does it feel like you need to heal from multiple versions of one person? It can feel almost impossible to find acceptance and solace as you heal from a person that did not even truly exist. In this episode, I talk about healing from the love bomber, devaluer, and the unrecognizable stranger (which we sometimes see all in one day).
I will cover the intoxicating highs of the 'love bombing' phase and its heartbreaking revelation as a facade, discuss how devaluation erodes self-esteem and learn strategies to reclaim your worth, and recognize the cold indifference during discard.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
From the publisher's feed
You know something is wrong. You just can’t always explain what it is.
Why do you keep apologizing when you didn’t do anything wrong? Why can one nice interaction make you question…
You Are Not Crazy is a podcast about making sense of the relationship experiences that don’t make sense.
I’m Jessica Knight, an emotional abuse coach and survivor. I take the confusing, contradictory, often ordinary-looking moments inside emotional abuse, coercive control, trauma bonds, narcissistic relationships, and high-conflict separation and slow them down so we can understand what is actually happening.
We look beyond labels and individual incidents to the patterns underneath them: what a behavior does, what it gets you to do in response, what happens when you resist it, and what you eventually learn to believe about yourself.
Because emotional abuse doesn’t only hurt. It can change the way you communicate, make decisions, respond to conflict, interpret other people’s behavior, and trust your own perception.
Here, we talk about gaslighting, manipulation, trauma bonding, intermittent reinforcement, coercive control, high-conflict divorce, post-separation abuse, difficult co-parenting dynamics, and the process of rebuilding self-trust after a relationship that taught you to doubt yourself.
But this isn’t a podcast about diagnosing every difficult person or telling you that every conflict is abuse. It’s about understanding the pattern.
What happened? What did it make you do? Why did your response make sense at the time? And what changes once you can finally see the mechanism underneath it?
You are not crazy. There is an explanation.
Let’s find it.
Learn more about Jessica’s work and resources at emotionalabusecoach.com.

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