Ben Taylor joins us again for an in-depth discussion on one of the most bewildering and painful aspects of narcissistic relationships: The Discard. In this episode, we define the Discard, discuss the various forms it can take, and try to understand the "why" behind it. Ben, a self aware Narcissist, helps us understand the complexity of The Discard and why IT IS NOT PERSONAL.

You can learn more about Ben here: https://www.rawmotivations.com/

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Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

When Dr. Gary Chapman introduced the concept of the Five Love Languages, many embraced it as a revolutionary way to enhance communication and intimacy within relationships. These languages – words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch – have helped countless couples express their affection more effectively. However, what happens when these love languages are used to control a partner? Today, we're unraveling how the Five Love Languages can be twisted by abusive partners. 

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

In today's episode, we delve into a profound concept known as "the Teddy Bear Effect," which provides insight into manipulative expectations within abusive relationships.

The "Teddy Bear Effect" stems from Patricia Evans' analogy in her book Controlling People. It's about how abusers create an unrealistic version of their partner, treating them as if they were a teddy bear - compliant and devoid of personal needs or feelings. This pretend relationship ignores the authentic person's identity and imposes unfair standards that serve only the abuser's sense of control.

Key points discussed include:

• The non-reciprocal nature of abusive relationships where expectations are one-sided.
• How controllers project their own narrative onto their partners, ignoring true emotions and reactions.
• The damaging impact on victims who feel unseen and unappreciated for who they truly are.

Here are the two books mentioned on the podcast:
Controlling People
The Verbally Abusive Relationship

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Are you struggling to figure out what is going on in your relationship? In this episode, I unpack emotional immaturity and its connection to abusive behaviors in relationships. 

Key Points Discussed:

• Self-Doubt vs. Self-Work: Many individuals question their sanity due to others not doing their work; it's essential for everyone to examine their behavior.
• Emotional Maturity Misconceptions: Smart or successful people can still be emotionally immature; intelligence does not equate to maturity.
• Signs of Emotional Immaturity: Lack of boundaries, difficulty with conflict resolution, inability to regulate emotions appropriately – these traits often present themselves subtly at first but are indicative of deeper issues.
• Impact Over Intentions: The true measure is not what was intended but the actual impact a person's actions have on others.
• Empathy Deficit: A lack of empathy can lead an emotionally immature individual to justify harmful behaviors without considering others' feelings.
• Boundary Respect & Resolution Skills: Healthy relationships require respected boundaries and mature conflict resolution – something emotionally immature individuals struggle with.
• Patterns vs. Moments: Distinguishing between occasional moments versus consistent patterns is critical when assessing someone’s emotional maturity level.

Cycle of Abuse: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1916632/10300770

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Have you ever found yourself questioning your reality within a relationship? If so, you're not alone. Many individuals struggle to reconcile the conflicting words and actions of their partners, especially when those partners are skilled manipulators or abusers. In today's episode, we delve into these discrepancies and offer insights on how to navigate through them.

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Emmy Marie joins me to dive into trauma responses—how they develop from abusive relationships and ways to manage them. It's crucial to know ourselves better without the weight of judgment or guilt.

We delve into how triggers can remind our bodies of past threats and activate our fight-flight-freeze-fawn responses. Recognizing these patterns allows us to seek safety cues that bring us back to a state of peace instead of shame or blame.

Emmy shares her journey as an abuse survivor turned coach for others healing from similar experiences. With certifications in somatic approaches and complex trauma recovery, she offers one-on-one coaching, courses, and validating social

You can learn more about Emmy here: https://www.instagram.com/bloomingwithemmy

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Today's episode provides an assessment tool for understanding emotional abuse. Often, abusers distort our reality, making us question ourselves. This tool offers clarity and validation to identify what's truly happening in your relationship. Understanding context, intent, and effect is crucial as they reveal whether actions are part of systemic abuse or isolated incidents.

Remember that it’s not about individual behaviors but recognizing ongoing manipulation or exploitation patterns. These insights can empower you to make informed decisions about your relationship moving forward. The assessment tool is available on my website: emotionalabusecoach.com

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Coercive control is psychological and emotional abuse involving manipulation and oppression—it often goes unnoticed as it disguises itself as care but undermines autonomy. Understanding it is crucial and this episode seeks to better understand this topic.

Key Points Discussed:

• Definition and understanding of coercive control
• The relationship between coercive control, traumatic bonding, and intermittent reinforcement
• How victims may experience pressure to conform to an abuser's demands
• Recognizing signs such as limiting autonomy, technological surveillance, health-related pressures, sexual coercion

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Christina Pierce is a single mother who was stripped of parental rights following her daughter’s heart-wrenching reports of abuse. With each court appearance and every legal document filed, Christina faced an uphill battle against not just her ex-partner but, the judge on her case. 

Christina's story is one that resonates with too many. As she navigated the turbulent waters of custody battles in Boston, Massachusetts, her journey has become emblematic of a system fraught with challenges.

Christina walks us through her story and the fight to get her parenting rights back in this episode. We discuss navigating false accusations, documenting meticulously yet knowing when to act decisively, police involvement, temporary suspensions of visitation rights, and gut-wrenching decisions made under duress—all pointing towards systemic failures at safeguarding those most vulnerable: our children.

Christina's fight mirrors struggles happening behind closed doors across nations.  

To learn more about Christina and her story, you can follow her here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/singlemamamagic/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/singlemamamagic/

GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-christina-return?utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

How do we detach from an abusive partner?  This episode explores why detachment feels tough—it's often likened to breaking an addiction—and offer strategies for stepping back.

One common obstacle is the urge to control an ex-partner's actions post-breakup—like checking if they get to work—but this hinders our own healing process. We also tend to manage how much they miss us by monitoring social media interactions or ensuring visibility in their lives.

Detachment isn't just about creating space between you and another person; it’s about prioritizing yourself over someone who has had too much power over you. This podcast covers how to start detaching effectively.

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner