Kerry McAvoy joins us to discuss cognitive dissonance—a complex yet crucial concept that can profoundly affect one's clarity during and after an abusive relationship. Through her personal experiences and professional expertise as a retired psychologist who has authored books on the subject, Kerry delves into what cognitive dissonance feels like, how it manifests in relationships with manipulative individuals, and strategies for overcoming its paralyzing effects. 

We discuss:

• The dual realities created by abusers through love bombing.
• The three stages of cognitive dissonance victims often experience.
• How confusion leads to deteriorating mental function under stress.
• Why decisions become incredibly challenging when faced with conflicting versions of reality.
• Strategies for identifying truth amidst manipulation.

You can learn more about Kerry and her groups here: https://kerrymcavoyphd.com/

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Going through a divorce can be one of life's most challenging experiences, especially when it involves financial manipulation, abuse and high-conflict dynamics. Victoria, an expert in managing the financial aspects during these trying times, joins us to discuss practical tools and mindset shifts to emerge financially secure and confident, even when going through a divorce.

Victoria has a wealth of information and tools on her website: https://www.divorceanalytics.com/

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Narcissists rewrite history to avoid accountability. You are not crazy. 

This quote resonates because abusive individuals manipulate reality to maintain control and make us doubt ourselves.

Remember that abusers target strong people who empathize deeply—this is part of their control strategy. They twist narratives to escape responsibility while making themselves victims—a tactic that keeps them in power over us.

In relationships with such individuals, we often feel stuck as they reject our perspectives and create an alternate reality where they're always right. It's crucial to recognize this pattern as intentional gaslighting designed to undermine our trust in ourselves.

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

An update on the case of Christina Pierce. This episode was created based off pulling together a variety of public information. 

If you are listening to this podcast and have $1 to donate, please donate to Christina's GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-bring-christinas-children-home

You can follow Christina here: https://www.instagram.com/singlemamamagic

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

This episode explores the nuance of the the cycle of abuse. Abuse is not always as clear-cut as physical violence; it often wears the mask of manipulation, control, and psychological harm. It's important to understand that abuse comes in many forms – belittling comments, gaslighting (making you doubt your reality), isolation from friends or family, financial control – these are all red flags signaling an unhealthy dynamic.

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Social media platforms are notorious for their bite-sized content designed to grab attention quickly. However, this format often lacks nuance and depth. In the context of relationship advice like Todd's post, there’s no room to address individual circumstances or acknowledge that what works for one couple may be detrimental to another.

For those entangled in abusive dynamics—where manipulation skews perceptions—it’s essential to dissect whether compliance serves love or perpetuates control. It isn't about rejecting cooperation within a partnership; rather it's about safeguarding against coercion masquerading as compromise.

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

In this episode, I speak openly about the red flags of abusive relationships.

For anyone feeling entrapped or seeking support in such situations, remember there are resources available to help navigate these turbulent waters—reach out if needed because sometimes validation can be the first step towards unburdening oneself completely.

Red Flags Discussed:

1. Denial of Abuse
2. Manipulation
3. Self-Doubt
4. Recording Evidence
5. Victim Mentality
6. Resistance to Ending Relationship
7. Reaction Suppression
8. Guilt Tripping
9. Fear of Saying No/Enforcing Boundaries
10. Body Language Discrepancies
11. Sexual Coersion

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Courtney Gilmartin is at the forefront of advocating change within family courts through her organization New Jersey Protective Moms. On this episode, Courtney brings invaluable insights in navigating the Family Court System that resonate not just in New Jersey but across all states.

The term "protective mom" might be unfamiliar to some; it refers to mothers who fight tooth and nail within a legal system that often fails to safeguard them or their children against abusers adept at manipulating proceedings.

Courtney shed light on how domestic abuse isn’t always recognized by those entrusted with justice due to gaps in training regarding coercive control—a subtler form of abuse than physical violence yet equally damaging. 

Courtney has a wealth of information on her website: https://www.njprotectivemoms.org/

This is the resource list mentioned on the podcast:  https://www.njprotectivemoms.org/resources

Follow her on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/courtney.gilmartin/

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Gaslighting is an insidious form of mental manipulation where one person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in another individual’s mind. The goal? To make them question their own judgment, memories, and even sanity—essentially discrediting their sense of reality. This nefarious technique can be subtle or overt but always aims to destabilize the victim and gain psychological control over them. This episode unpacks Gaslighting a little further based on recent questions from listeners.

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Ben Taylor joins us again for an in-depth discussion on one of the most bewildering and painful aspects of narcissistic relationships: The Discard. In this episode, we define the Discard, discuss the various forms it can take, and try to understand the "why" behind it. Ben, a self aware Narcissist, helps us understand the complexity of The Discard and why IT IS NOT PERSONAL.

You can learn more about Ben here: https://www.rawmotivations.com/

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner