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You are allowed to be a whole person—not just a performance for someone else. If you've been in an emotionally abusive relationship, you may have been taught to compromise your needs, silence your instincts, and tie your worth to someone else's happiness. In this episode, I discuss how societal expectations and manipulative dynamics teach us to ignore ourselves—and how to begin reclaiming your autonomy, boundaries, and emotional safety. This is your permission slip to say no, to trust your instincts, and to begin choosing yourself.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
In this episode, I discuss the isolating and draining reality of divorcing a narcissist. I share how constant manipulation, gaslighting, and relentless legal battles can leave you feeling lost and unheard.
I dive into the challenges of a legal system that often falls short. If you’re dealing with a high conflict divorce or post-separation abuse, join me for practical strategies and resources.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) is a pattern that keeps you stuck in cycles of self-doubt, confusion, and emotional turmoil. In this episode, I break down how it works, how to recognize it in real time, and—most importantly—how to start detaching from the manipulative narrative.
If you’ve ever found yourself defending your actions instead of addressing the real issue, feeling like the "problem" in your relationship, or struggling to get clarity on what's happening, this episode will help you refocus on patterns, not excuses.
Understanding these dynamics is a crucial first step in reclaiming your peace and emotional well-being.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
This episode is a deep dive into the reality of navigating relationships with individuals who exhibit traits of Cluster B personality disorders—including narcissistic, borderline, antisocial, and histrionic personality disorders. If you've ever felt trapped in a cycle of confusion, self-doubt, or emotional exhaustion in your relationship, this conversation will help you understand why.
I share personal experiences and insights from her coaching work to break down how these disorders manifest in toxic dynamics, the emotional manipulation tactics often used, and why so many survivors struggle to make sense of what’s happening to them.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Sex can be misused as a tool for emotional regulation and control rather than genuine connection. In this episode, I take you through a story describing what initially felt like overwhelming love gradually revealed itself as a pattern of guilt-tripping, boundary violations, and emotional manipulation. I detail specific moments where my autonomy was compromised: from the pressure to engage in intimacy even when physically or emotionally unready, to the way declarations of love were weaponized to silence my needs and enforce compliance. I also reflects on the confusing aftermath of these experiences and how to move through them.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Intimacy can be manipulated as a tool for control and emotional regulation. She shares intimate stories of recognizing coercive patterns—from subtle guilt-tripping and boundary violations to the misuse of sex as a litmus test for emotional connection.
Whether you’ve felt pressured in your relationships or questioned the true meaning of love and intimacy, this episode offers validation and guidance on setting firm boundaries, reclaiming your autonomy, and healing the relationship with yourself.
Check out Nat's work: https://alwaysmending.com/maritalcoercion
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Anne Wintemute, co-founder and CEO of Aimee Says, an AI-driven companion designed to support survivors of relationship abuse, joins me to share the inspiration behind Aimee and how it serves as an emotional support tool, offering validation, guidance, and safety planning for those navigating toxic relationships.
We discuss how AI can help survivors recognize red flags, document their experiences, and access trauma-informed resources—especially in those lonely, late-night moments when support feels out of reach. We also explore how Aimee's real-time responses can help stop abuse before it escalates, making it an invaluable tool for anyone questioning their reality or seeking clarity.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
This episode breaks down why conventional breakup rules don’t apply when you’re dealing with manipulation, control, and gaslighting, and offers guidance on how to reclaim your boundaries, your sanity, and your life. By focusing on patterns over promises, I provide tangible steps to help you break free from the emotional tug-of-war and start taking back control.
Whether you’ve experienced emotional abuse firsthand or are just looking for clarity around unhealthy relationship dynamics, this episode equips you with the tools to heal and move forward.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Can an emotionally abusive person change? Paul Colliani joins me to explore the patterns of manipulative behavior, why some people refuse to take accountability, and how anxious attachment and emotional immaturity play into abusive dynamics.
We also discuss the false hope that keeps many survivors stuck, the importance of recognizing real change versus empty promises, and the hard truth that healing often means letting go.
You can find Paul here: loveandabuse.com
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
In this episode, I break down what trauma bonding really means and why it can feel so hard to leave a toxic relationship.
Instead of being about sharing past trauma, trauma bonding happens because of a crazy cycle of ups and downs—brief moments of love and kindness that keep you holding on even when you're being hurt.
In this episode, I discuss how these roller coaster relationships work and why promises to change often end up being tricks to keep you stuck. I also share simple tips on how to spot these harmful patterns, set clear boundaries, and take back control of your life.
If you’ve ever felt trapped in a relationship that just isn’t right, this episode offers straightforward advice and real steps to start healing.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
From the publisher's feed
You know something is wrong. You just can’t always explain what it is.
Why do you keep apologizing when you didn’t do anything wrong? Why can one nice interaction make you question…
You Are Not Crazy is a podcast about making sense of the relationship experiences that don’t make sense.
I’m Jessica Knight, an emotional abuse coach and survivor. I take the confusing, contradictory, often ordinary-looking moments inside emotional abuse, coercive control, trauma bonds, narcissistic relationships, and high-conflict separation and slow them down so we can understand what is actually happening.
We look beyond labels and individual incidents to the patterns underneath them: what a behavior does, what it gets you to do in response, what happens when you resist it, and what you eventually learn to believe about yourself.
Because emotional abuse doesn’t only hurt. It can change the way you communicate, make decisions, respond to conflict, interpret other people’s behavior, and trust your own perception.
Here, we talk about gaslighting, manipulation, trauma bonding, intermittent reinforcement, coercive control, high-conflict divorce, post-separation abuse, difficult co-parenting dynamics, and the process of rebuilding self-trust after a relationship that taught you to doubt yourself.
But this isn’t a podcast about diagnosing every difficult person or telling you that every conflict is abuse. It’s about understanding the pattern.
What happened? What did it make you do? Why did your response make sense at the time? And what changes once you can finally see the mechanism underneath it?
You are not crazy. There is an explanation.
Let’s find it.
Learn more about Jessica’s work and resources at emotionalabusecoach.com.

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