Your Turned on Desire

Sexual desire isn’t something you have or you don’t. Sexual desire isn’t something that diminishes with time. Sexual desire is a measuring stick or barameter for where the intimacy is at between the couple. What I’m most concerned about are all the missed opportunities that people experience when desire is thought of as something that is just there or it isn’t. It’s also concerning when people think that if someone doesn’t have much desire then there is something wrong with them. When someone is struggling with low desire this is a giant neon arrow pointing at the lack of intimacy between the two people.

There are several causes of low sexual desire. In this episode, I share 3 causes of low desire that will blow your mind because they aren’t talked about often- if at all!

Step 6 on the path to sex being a nonissue and enjoyable is: Practice Growing your Desire for Sex. In order to practice growing your desire we need to talk about how you relate to sexual and nonsexual desires. We need to know the difference between arousal and desire. We need to understand how meanings we attach to sex have the most impact on our desires. Even more than biology. And we also need to talk about gourmet sex. In order to take step six you’re going to need at least 4 skills and I talk about those 4 skills in this episode. And then I share the best way to get support while you’re working on taking these steps and learning the skills. Because this isn’t easy to do on your own!! To watch the video I refer to in this episode click here: https://youtu.be/3n-DOKBffuU My email: [email protected]

A lot of times women have good judgement in their marriages which leads to them having what is commonly referred to as “low sexual desire”. But this kind of low desire isn’t a negative thing. A woman won’t open up sexually to anyone, including her husband, if she believes that he doesn’t see and treasure her as a whole woman. This good judgement can also be an invitation for her to be courageous and honest about why she doesn’t want to open up sexually. Another reason a woman won’t open up sexually to her husband is because her sense of self is strongly connected to her sexuality and if her sense of belonging with herself isn’t very strong then she will have what is referred to as “low sexual desire”. In this episode we discuss the connection between a woman’s sense of self and her sexual desire, when her good judgment kicks in, what she can do to create a stronger identity, a more confident self concept, and how this increases her sexual desire in her marriage. Website for checking out available courses in Jamee’s online school: https://the-turned-on-woman.teachable.com/

I get a lot of questions from women about not being attracted to their spouses and how this brings them frustrations, pain, and confusion in the sexual part of their relationship and the pain sometimes leaks over into their whole marriage. So today we are addressing this topic and what to do about it if your goal is to not only remain in your long term monogamous relationship but to find deeper love and intimacy as well. To access my online school Your Turned on Desire for more education and the lifestyle skills needed for sex to be a non issue in your marriage then go here: www.coachingwithjamee.com

One of the several obstacles that get in the way of enjoying sex happens when life offers us struggles and when our relationships have breakdowns, moments of disconnect and suffering. You have good reasons for not wanting sex during struggles, and you also don’t have to stay in this cycle. You have permission to seek out anything that is good, even in the midst of pain. Here is a link to my online courses: https://the-turned-on-woman.teachable.com/?_ga=2.91805786.1317859792.1652195534-2079670856.1643905528

Understanding your unique sexual desire will literally change every conversation you have with your spouse. When you understand your desire you will experience lots of body positivity, you can teach your spouse how you work, and if they don’t resist the process and are open to receiving your beautiful information, you will both enjoy a sexually successful marriage which means no more frustrating and annoying conversations about how you need to increase your desire. Plus you’ll feel really freakin happy. To great sex and beyond! Jamee xoxo and PS my online courses are available!!! Here is the link to the courses: https://the-turned-on-woman.teachable.com/?_ga=2.91805786.1317859792.1652195534-2079670856.1643905528

Sex is an enjoyable activity you do with your spouse. If you and your spouse are not fully enjoying your sexual relationship there is no one to blame. You’re just trying to follow the wrong sex rules. All you need is to take the energy you used to use on blaming and trying to get your spouse to change and simply use that energy to practice the correct relationship skill set that will create an enjoyable sexual relationship.

In this episode we discuss the importance of Education, Compassion, and Partnership in creating a successful sex life in our marriages. I give a few examples on how to do this, focusing mostly on how to be more of a sexual partner. I also give a brief intro on how important the hormone oxytocin is for women when it comes to desiring touch, sex, and orgasms. And lastly, I explain 2 rules that need to be dropped in order for women to enjoy more pleasurable sex with their husbands.

Women in thriving marriages where sex is a non issue believe that sex is not more important than anything else. They don’t believe sex is less important than any other part of their relationship or life. They believe that sex is an equal slice of the pie to every other slice. If you find yourself thinking that your spouse thinks about sex too much or you worry that if you don’t bring up sex that your spouse might forget about sex but you both want a stronger sexual connection, then this episode is for you. We talk about making sex equal and what happens when we don’t. Also what some of the obstacles are that get in the way of making sex equal- especially for women with responsive sexual desire (which is sometimes referred to as low sexual desire). Seeking this balance and equality with sex makes everyone relax and enjoy more good sex instead if sex looming so large in the marriage or being something that is dreaded. To contact me for anything (including a spot in my coaching group that is starting January 21st) email me at [email protected]