ADHD Mums

If you’ve ever found yourself raging over a sock battle, losing it over a tantrum, or feeling shame after snapping at your child — this episode will meet you right there. It’s not just that your child is being ‘difficult’. It’s that their big feelings might be waking up parts of you that were never allowed to exist.

This Quick Reset unpacks the link between parenting rage and trauma stored in the body. We explore the concept of mirrored trauma — when your child expresses the exact emotions you were taught to suppress. If you were the “good girl” who never acted out, your child’s raw honesty can feel confronting. Even triggering.

But you’re not failing — you’re feeling. And there are ways to recognise it, reset, and shift the shame.

✨ In This Episode, We Cover:
– Why you might feel rage at small things (like socks or dinner refusal)
– What’s really happening when your child ‘won’t comply’
– How ‘good girl conditioning’ can collide with your child’s emotional honesty
– The neuroscience of mirrored trauma
– Self-check-ins for performance parenting
– Why your child’s defiance isn’t disobedience — it’s a dysregulated nervous system
– What to do when you feel the heat rising
– Real, honest stories from parenting in the trenches
– Reframing the “problem child” as a mirror of your own healing

💭 This episode is for you if:
You’ve ever wondered “Why do I lose it at the tiniest things?”
You feel like your child’s behaviour lights up something way bigger than the moment
You want to break generational patterns — but also feel pushed to the edge

🔗 Resources & Links:
• Join the Facebook community: ADHD Mums FB Group
• More resources & tools: www.adhdmums.com.au/shop

🔁 SHARE THIS RESET:
If this one hit hard, send it to a mum friend who’s also stuck in survival mode. Let her know: she’s not broken, she’s bracing.

Other Quick Reset Episodes:

• S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify  | Apple Podcast
• S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E15 He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park: Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E16 No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed: Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E17 How we survive the 3- 6:00 PM shit show when kids are coming down off meds. Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E18 Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead. Spotify | Apple Podcast

🎧 Listen Now
If you’ve ever left a meeting wondering what just happened – or held back tears while playing nice just to get a referral – this one’s for you. Hit play. Share it with a friend who’s fighting the same fight.

🧠 TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
mirrored trauma, ADHD mums, neurodivergent parenting, good girl conditioning, parenting rage, ADHD parenting, sensory kids, emotional honesty, shutdown, intergenerational trauma, gentle parenting realities, meltdown support, breaking cycles, neuroaffirming parenting, trauma-informed parenting, ADHD mum life, performance parenting, co-regulation, reparenting yourself, parenting and trauma.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mentioned in this episode:

Give away bad for biz - free resources

Free Resouces

If you’ve ever been told your child is ‘defiant’, ‘rude’, or ‘lazy’—this episode is for you.

Tania Waring is back to unpack how stress behaviours are misread as misbehaviour in classrooms. Drawing on her PhD research into co-regulation and inclusive education, Tania explains what’s really going on for ADHD and autistic students—and why the classroom itself can fuel or relieve their distress.

We talk about why behaviour systems like marbles-in-the-jar and Dojo points don’t work for neurodivergent kids, and how regulation starts with the adult in the room. We cover practical ways teachers (and parents) can co-regulate, build trust, and support children in distress without punishing them for brain-based struggles.

This episode is honest, emotional, and full of tools for both home and school. If you’ve ever felt alone advocating for your child—or if you’re a teacher desperate for something that actually works—this conversation will validate what you already know and help you name it out loud.

Need support navigating school chaos?
Making School Work is your go-to advocacy guide for when your neurodivergent child isn’t coping — and the school says they’re fine. Packed with scripts, templates, and clarity for IEPs, school refusal, and shutdowns, it helps you hold your ground in the rooms that matter.
Get it here: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/ 

Correction

In this episode, Tania mentioned there are no professional development (PD) requirements for teachers — however, she later discovered that wasn't quite correct and wanted to ensure this was added. In Australia, all registered teachers are required to complete a minimum number of PD hours annually to maintain their registration. For example, Queensland College of Teachers (QCT) mandates 20 hours of PD per year. You can read more here: QCT Professional Development Requirements.

📚 Mentioned in this episode:

• Berry Street Education Model
• Social Stencil neurodiversity-affirming SEL
• Mental Health Menu (Victoria DET)
• Books:
• The Neurodiverse Classroom – Victoria Honeybourne
• Creating Trauma-Informed, Strengths-Based Classrooms – Tom Brunzell
• Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools – Emily Kircher-Morris
• The Whole-Brain Child – Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson


• Universal Design for Learning (UDL) Guidelines

Resources Mentioned:

🔗 Sign our Change Petition here

🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here

🎧 Listener Questions please send here

🔗 Free Guides and Resources: https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/

Disability & Education Laws Referenced (Qld Human Rights Act, DSE 2005, UN CRPD)

👩‍⚖️ Human Rights Commission: humanrights.gov.au

📚 References & Further Reading

• Disability Standards for Education 2005
  Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government

Disability Discrimination Act 1992
View the full legislation on the Federal Register

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.

COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected].

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

ADHD classroom behaviour, neurodivergent students school, ADHD school meltdown, trauma-informed teaching ADHD, co-regulation in education, stress behaviour vs misbehaviour, neurodiversity affirming strategies, inclusive education ADHD, autism shutdown at school, ADHD advocacy, classroom behaviour systems, Dojo points criticism, emotional regulation in school, ADHD support for teachers, Berry Street model, Universal Design for Learning ADHD, strength-based education, emotional safety in classrooms, behaviour as communication, ADHD discipline alternatives, neurodivergent parenting, supporting ADHD kids in school, autistic school experience, ADHD overwhelm school, masking and meltdown cycle, ADHD parenting, ADHD and school trauma.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mentioned in this episode:

Give away bad for biz - free resources

Free Resouces

If you can’t sit still even when nothing’s wrong...
If you're checking your emails like a debt collector is chasing you...
If your heart races during peaceful moments...

This episode is for you.

In this raw and validating Quick Reset, Jane peels back the misunderstood layers of 'anxiety' to reveal something many ADHD mums live with daily — high-functioning hypervigilance. It's not just worry. It's a nervous system that never learned to feel safe.

This is the episode to save and return to every time you feel like you can’t switch off, even when the house is quiet and the kids are fine. It’s not just stress. It’s survival mode — and it’s unlearnable.

🧷 What We Cover:

• The difference between anxiety and hypervigilance

• Why so many late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic women live in a bracing state

• How childhood emotional mismatch (not just trauma) conditions us to constantly scan

• The link between people-pleasing, masking, and chronic nervous system activation

• What hypervigilance looks like in motherhood (especially if your child is impulsive or unsafe)

• Three practical tools to start calming your system today — no spa day required

🔑 Key Takeaway:
You didn’t get this way by accident. Your body learned to brace because safety wasn’t a given. But it can unlearn. Regulation isn’t a reward — it’s your right.

🔗 Resources & Links:
• Join the Facebook community: ADHD Mums FB Group
• More resources & tools: www.adhdmums.com.au/shop

🔁 SHARE THIS RESET:
If this one hit hard, send it to a mum friend who’s also stuck in survival mode. Let her know: she’s not broken, she’s bracing.

Other Quick Reset Episodes:

• S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E12 I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing: Spotify | Apple Podcast 

• S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E15 He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park: Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E16 No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed: Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E17 How we survive the 3- 6:00 PM shit show when kids are coming down off meds. Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E18 Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead. Spotify | Apple Podcast

🎧 Listen Now
If you’ve ever left a meeting wondering what just happened – or held back tears while playing nice just to get a referral – this one’s for you. Hit play. Share it with a friend who’s fighting the same fight.

TOPICS COVERED:
Hypervigilance vs anxiety, ADHD shutdown, chronic stress, trauma responses, parenting neurodivergent kids, sensory overwhelm, people-pleasing, masking, emotional dysregulation, nervous system regulation, emotional safety, ADHD and trauma, survival mode, ADHD parenting tools, quick nervous system resets, late-diagnosed ADHD, mum burnout recovery, high-functioning anxiety, emotional masking in women, calm nervous system tips, ADHD mental health, trauma-informed ADHD strategies, somatic safety, ADHD nervous system healing, gentle parenting for ND families.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mentioned in this episode:

Give away bad for biz - free resources

Free Resouces

You walk into a school meeting hoping for support—and walk out feeling like the unreasonable parent again.

In this no-fluff episode, Jane is joined by returning guest and neuroaffirming educator Millie Carr to rip the curtain off how Individual Education Plans (IEPs) are actually playing out in real classrooms. From broken communication and missing documentation to defensive staff and performative inclusion policies, this episode is a sharp, validating look at what’s really happening behind the school gate.

If you’ve ever been told, ‘we can’t do that for everyone’, ‘they seem fine’, or your child’s support plan was ignored by day one of term—this one will make you feel less alone, and a hell of a lot more prepared.

💡 What We Cover:

• Why teachers often get defensive in IEP meetings (and how to work around it)
• The myth of “equal treatment” vs the reality of legal equity in education
• What to say when schools refuse an adjustment because ‘it’s not fair to others’
• The emotional toll of feeling dismissed—and how to stay focused in meetings
• What federal laws actually say about reasonable adjustments (and how to quote them)
• The serious issue of IEPs not being shared, read, or honoured—especially at the start of term
• Why parents must document everything—even if nothing changes
• Real consequences (or lack of) for schools that fail to follow inclusion policies
• What to prepare, bring, and track if you ever need to escalate or file a complaint

Need support navigating school chaos?
Making School Work is your go-to advocacy guide for when your neurodivergent child isn’t coping — and the school says they’re fine. Packed with scripts, templates, and clarity for IEPs, school refusal, and shutdowns, it helps you hold your ground in the rooms that matter.
Get it here: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/ 

Related Episodes:

• SCHOOL SERIES - When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Listen in Spotify | Listen in Apple Podcast
• SCHOOL SERIES - Burnout Starts in the Classroom — And Follows Them Home | Listen in Spotify | Listen in Apple Podcast
• SCHOOL SERIES: Your Child Isn’t ‘Acting Out’ — They’re Burning Out | Listen in Spotify | Listen in Apple Podcast

Resources Mentioned:

🔗 To find out more about Millie Carr or purchase her books please click on her website or check out her IG

🔗 Sign our Change Petition here

🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here

🎧 Listener Questions please send here

🔗 Free Guides and Resources: https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/

Disability & Education Laws Referenced (Qld Human Rights Act, DSE 2005, UN CRPD)

👩‍⚖️ Human Rights Commission: humanrights.gov.au

📚 References & Further Reading

• Disability Standards for Education 2005
  Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government
• Disability Discrimination Act 1992
  View the full legislation on the Federal Register

🎧 Listen Now

If you’ve ever sat through a 15-minute IEP meeting where nothing changed, or wondered how much louder you have to get before someone listens—this episode is your script, your validation, and your reminder:

You’re not too much. The system is too underprepared.

Hit play. Forward it to your child’s support coordinator. Save it for your next meeting.

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.

COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected].

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

Topics Covered  In This Episode:

IEP meetings ADHD Australia, neurodivergent inclusion school, disability standards for education, equitable adjustments vs equal treatment, ADHD fidgets in class, schools ignoring support plans, teacher defensiveness IEP, NCCD and disability evidence, parent advocacy for neurodivergent kids, documenting school issues, escalation in school systems, broken inclusion plans, legal rights ADHD school, how to prepare for an IEP, fidget bans and discrimination, masking in the classroom, disability support Victoria education, Millie Carr ADHD, ADHD Mums podcast

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mentioned in this episode:

Give away bad for biz - free resources

Free Resouces

Why does getting support for your child feel like a full-time job… with no sick leave?

In this solo episode, Jane dives into the exhausting, invisible labour of advocacy – and why neurodivergent mums are often left navigating broken systems without a map, a translator, or a break. From IEP meetings to GP appointments, this is the episode for every mum who’s ever stayed up till 2am writing an email that might just get ignored.

If you’re tired of being dismissed, dismissed again, then blamed for being ‘too emotional’ about it – you are not the problem.

This episode will help you do it without setting yourself on fire.

💡 What We Cover:
• How to advocate for your child without it consuming your entire life
• What to say when professionals dismiss you or minimise your concerns
• Scripts to stay calm and assertive in tense school/NDIS/GP meetings
• Energy-saving strategies for emotionally draining advocacy tasks
• Balancing authenticity vs masking when you’re in ‘the system’
• Why documentation (yes, again) is your best ally – and how to use it
• Emotional resilience vs toxic positivity when you’re gaslit again
• Building long-term allies in school and health systems – without losing your mind

Other Quick Reset Episodes:

• S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify  | Apple Podcast
• S3E12 I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing: Spotify | Apple Podcast 
• S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E15 He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park: Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E16 No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed: Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E17 QUICK RESET: How we survive the 3- 6:00 PM shit show when kids are coming down off meds. Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E18 Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead. Spotify | Apple Podcast

🔗 Resources & Links:
• Join the Facebook community: ADHD Mums FB Group
• More resources & tools: www.adhdmums.com.au/shop

🎧 Listen Now
If you’ve ever left a meeting wondering what just happened – or held back tears while playing nice just to get a referral – this one’s for you. Hit play. Share it with a friend who’s fighting the same fight.

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
ADHD advocacy, neurodivergent parenting, school refusal, IEP meetings, masking and burnout, ADHD mums emotional load, advocating for your ADHD child, navigating NDIS, GP advocacy scripts, ADHD mental load, supporting neurodivergent kids in school, trauma-informed advocacy, inclusive education, ADHD documentation strategies, neuroaffirming parenting, advocacy burnout, parenting ADHD and autism, school system failures, emotional regulation in meetings, ADHD self-compassion, strength-based parenting, advocacy energy management

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mentioned in this episode:

Give away bad for biz - free resources

Free Resouces

What happens when schools insist your child is fine - but everything in your gut says otherwise?

In this powerful instalment of our school mini-series, Jane is joined again by Millie Carr - teacher, parent, and neurodivergent advocate - to unpack one of the most maddening experiences families face: being gaslit by educators who don’t “see” the struggle.

If you’ve ever been told your child is “fine” at school while managing meltdowns, shutdowns, or burnout at home, this one will hit hard. Jane shares a deeply personal story of leaving a school that refused to acknowledge her daughter’s invisible needs - and Millie breaks down exactly why high-masking kids get overlooked, and what parents can do when they’re dismissed.

Together, they explore:

• Why girls and high-masking kids are so often missed
• The damaging impact of visible vs invisible disability bias
• What to say in IEP meetings when schools won’t listen
• Why anxiety is often misdiagnosed when it’s really about unmet needs
• How PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) is misunderstood in schools—and what helps instead

This episode will validate your fury, your heartbreak, and your instincts. You’re not imagining it. You’re not overreacting. And you’re not alone.

Listen If:

• You’ve been told “we don’t see it” and felt dismissed
• Your child is different at school than at home—and no one believes you
• You’re exhausted from advocating and need to feel seen
• You want practical strategies for navigating resistant schools

Need support navigating school chaos?
Making School Work is your go-to advocacy guide for when your neurodivergent child isn’t coping — and the school says they’re fine. Packed with scripts, templates, and clarity for IEPs, school refusal, and shutdowns, it helps you hold your ground in the rooms that matter.
Get it here: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/ 

Other Episodes with Millie Carr

• S1 E41: Camouflaging ADHD + Autistic Traits in Girls with Millie Carr | Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3 E2: SCHOOL SERIES When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3 E3: SCHOOL SERIES When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast

Episode on PDA:

S2E30: Could it be PDA? Exploring the signs and why it’s different from ODD with Prof Tony Attwood and Dr Michelle Garnett | Spotify | Apple Podcast

🔗 Resources & Links:

• 🔗 Sign our Change Petition here

  🎧 Listener Questions please send here

  🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here

  🔗 ADHD Mums Free Guides and Resources here

  📚 References & Further Reading

  • Disability Standards for Education 2005
    Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government

  • Disability Discrimination Act 1992
    View the full legislation on the Federal Register

  
  
• Disability & Education Laws Referenced (Qld Human Rights Act, DSE 2005, UN CRPD)
• 👩‍⚖️ Human Rights Commission: humanrights.gov.au

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.

COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected].

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

Topics Covered In This Episode: 

Invisible disabilities, ADHD girls, autism masking, high masking, school gaslighting, inclusion in education, IEP meetings, neurodiversity in schools, Pathological Demand Avoidance, PDA strategies, school refusal, trauma-informed schools, advocating for neurodivergent kids, ADHD parenting, neurodivergent burnout, federal disability education law, ADHD girls dismissed, reasonable adjustments school, ADHD Mums podcast

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mentioned in this episode:

Give away bad for biz - free resources

Free Resouces

You’re not imagining it — psychology funding is reducing from NDIS plans. And neurodivergent families are being hit the hardest.

In this critical solo episode, Jane breaks down the real impact of recent NDIS changes, including the hidden rollout of Section 33, why psychology is being reframed as a ‘Medicare issue’, and how support for emotional regulation, anxiety and trauma is being stripped away under the radar.

If you’re navigating plan reviews, therapy cancellations, or watching mental health supports vanish — this episode gives you the language, strategy and advocate for yourself or your child.

What We Cover:

• The quiet rollout of Section 33 and what it means for your child’s plan
• Why psychology for ADHD, anxiety, trauma and RSD is no longer ‘reasonable and necessary’
• The difference between clinical vs. functional supports — and how to frame them
• What psychologists are being told, and why they may redirect you to Medicare
• How to advocate for functional impact without breaching new NDIS rules
• The cost blowout no one’s talking about: $600+ monthly gap payments for ADHD families
• Why early intervention cuts contradict everything the NDIS claims to support
• What to say in your next plan review — including exact phrases for therapy justification
• The personal toll on ADHD mums trying to keep their kids afloat — emotionally and financially

Resources & Links:

• Submit your story: Speak Up for Change: Submit Your NDIS Complaint to Help Us Lobby for Fairness
• Listen to the related podcast episodes on:

The NDIS Shake-Up and National Autism Strategy: What Jane Really Thinks: 

Spotify: listen here

Apple: listen here

• Sign the petition: NDIS Cuts Are Failing Our Kids
• List of ADHD Mums Recommended Providers 
• All NDIS Changes and Resources - https://adhdmums.com.au/ndis/

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.

COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected].

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

Topics Covered In This Episode: 

NDIS psychology funding cuts, ADHD therapy removed from NDIS, Section 33 NDIS explanation, ADHD and functional capacity reports, neurodivergent families NDIS, ADHD emotional regulation therapy, reasonable and necessary supports ADHD, early intervention plan review, psychology under Medicare vs NDIS, ADHD child anxiety supports, ADHD trauma support, rejection sensitivity NDIS, plan review scripts ADHD, disability discrimination Australia, NDIS burnout for mothers, ADHD Mums podcast NDIS, school refusal and therapy access, ADHD kids unsupported by NDIS, petition for NDIS reform, neurodivergent parenting advocacy Australia

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mentioned in this episode:

Give away bad for biz - free resources

Free Resouces

If your kid has been labelled ‘disruptive’, ‘too much’, or has a 'behaviour problem’ at school - this episode is for you.

In this raw, honest, and fiercely educational conversation, Jane is joined by Tania Waring - lawyer-turned-PhD researcher, mum of three neurodivergent boys, and longtime education advocate. They go into what’s really happening when ADHD and autistic kids are ‘acting out’ - and why so many schools are punishing trauma responses, not managing them.

This episode isn’t polite. It’s personal, practical, and painfully real. From school exclusions and behaviour plans to Human Rights Commission complaints and fighting for basic inclusion - this one’s for every parent who’s been dismissed, gaslit, and told their child doesn’t belong.

Trigger warning: briefly mentions suicide ideation of a child.

💡 What We Cover:

• The myth of ‘naughty kids’ vs the reality of burnout and nervous system collapse
• Why suspension and detention are discriminatory—not developmental
• How behaviour plans often become performance-management tools
• What schools are legally required to do under federal, state, and disability law.
• How to document, escalate, and advocate when you’re being stonewalled
• Tips for writing advocacy emails that get attention (without sounding ‘difficult’)
• What parents can realistically do when change feels impossible

Need support navigating school chaos?
Making School Work is your go-to advocacy guide for when your neurodivergent child isn’t coping — and the school says they’re fine. Packed with scripts, templates, and clarity for IEPs, school refusal, and shutdowns, it helps you hold your ground in the rooms that matter.
Get it here: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/ 

🔗 Resources & Links:

• 🔗 Sign our Change Petition here

  🎧 Listener Questions please send here

  🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here

  🔗 ADHD Mums Free Guides and Resources here

  📚 References & Further Reading

  • Disability Standards for Education 2005
    Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government

  • Disability Discrimination Act 1992
    View the full legislation on the Federal Register

  
  
• Disability & Education Laws Referenced (Qld Human Rights Act, DSE 2005, UN CRPD)
• 👩‍⚖️ Human Rights Commission: humanrights.gov.au

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.

COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected].

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

Topics Covered In This Episode: 

ADHD school exclusion Australia neurodivergent child suspension ADHD behaviour plans and trauma disability standards for education 2005 QLD Human Rights Act school rights ADHD and school-based discrimination inclusive education ADHD autism school burnout ADHD child advocacy tools for ADHD parents ADHD child behaviour misunderstood ADHD suspension legal rights UN CRPD education rights Human Rights Commission school complaints ADHD parent advocacy Australia trauma-informed education ADHD Tania Waring ADHD advocacy ADHD Mums podcast Australia neuroaffirming schools strategies ADHD child misunderstood in classroom

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mentioned in this episode:

Give away bad for biz - free resources

Free Resouces

You’ve already heard the basics: ADHD isn’t just for boys. Autism isn’t all hand-flapping. Great. But what about the deeper stuff?

In this solo episode, Jane takes a sledgehammer to the most persistent, harmful, and advanced myths that are still sabotaging ADHD and autistic women.

From the dangerous praise of ‘high functioning’ to the weaponisation of executive function, performative neurodiversity, and the false promise that meds fix everything—this is the truth the awareness campaigns skip.

If you’ve ever been told you’re ‘too capable to struggle’, ‘too smart to be ADHD’, or ‘too emotional to be taken seriously’, this episode is your armour.

💡 What We Cover:

• Why ‘high functioning’ is just ‘high masking’—and why it’s killing us slowly

• How executive function gets twisted into shame and perfectionism

• Why medication is support, not salvation

• The deeply gendered myth of what autism ‘looks like’ in kids

• Neuroaffirming ≠ letting your child do whatever they want

• Why your nervous system needs more than a planner and good intentions

• The hidden cost of chasing ‘normal’ as a goal

• How parenting myths keep mums stuck in shame, guilt, and silence

🔗 Resources & Links:

• 📚 Research cited:

  • Hull et al. (2020) on camouflaging in ADHD & autism

  • Brown’s Executive Function Model (ADD Warehouse)

  • Lye & Baron-Cohen (2015) on misdiagnosis in girls

  • Dvorsky (2016) on long-term neurodivergent outcomes

  • Dr Mona Delahooke on co-regulation & scaffolding

  
  

• 🎧 Related episodes:
•  Ep 20 – The Worst Assessment Process Ever

• SCHOOL SERIES - When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents

• The Worst Assessment Process Ever: A Cautionary Tale

•  

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If you’ve ever been told you’re ‘fine’ because you’re functioning — or you’ve questioned your diagnosis because you still can’t get organised — this episode is the recalibration you didn’t know you needed.

Send it to a friend. A partner. A GP. Anyone who still doesn’t get it.

#ADHDMumsPodcast #HighMasking #NeurodivergentMyths #ADHDAndMedication #ExecutiveDysfunction #Camouflaging #AutismInGirls #NeurodivergentBurnout #ADHDFatigue #MentalLoadMatters #NeuroaffirmingParenting #JaneMcFaddenPodcast

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MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

High masking ADHD, high functioning myth, ADHD and executive dysfunction, medication and burnout, autism myths in children, neuroaffirming parenting, parenting neurodivergent kids, mental load of diagnosis, late-diagnosed ADHD women, emotional regulation myths, ADHD and trauma overlap, gender bias in autism, ADHD toolkit for mums, camouflaging in ADHD women, ADHD shame, parenting without guilt

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Give away bad for biz - free resources

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If your child’s after-school meltdowns seem to come out of nowhere — they don’t. They’re just not being seen.

In this second episode of the School Series, Jane is joined again by neurodivergent educator and mum Millie Carr to unpack how burnout builds silently in classrooms and explodes at home. From sensory overwhelm and executive dysfunction to chronic invalidation and misread behaviour — this episode doesn’t just name the problem. It helps you understand what to look for, what schools can do differently, and what you can shift at home without burning yourself out too.

This is a must-listen for any parent hearing ‘they’re fine at school’ while watching their kid unravel every night.

💡 What We Cover:

• • The difference between academic fatigue and neurodivergent burnout
  • What school-based nervous system overload actually looks like
  • How masking, people-pleasing and perfectionism disguise distress
  • Why executive dysfunction + sensory chaos = a ticking time bomb
  • The impact of chronic invalidation on self-esteem and identity
  • Interoception struggles — why neurodivergent kids often don’t see their own crash coming
  • Simple school accommodations that reduce burnout without being performative
  • How parents can build structure and regulation into home life without adding pressure
  
  

Need support navigating school chaos?
Making School Work is your go-to advocacy guide for when your neurodivergent child isn’t coping — and the school says they’re fine. Packed with scripts, templates, and clarity for IEPs, school refusal, and shutdowns, it helps you hold your ground in the rooms that matter.
Get it here: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/ 

🎧 Related episodes with Millie Carr: 

SCHOOL SERIES - When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents

• Listen in Spotify
• Listen in Apple

How to Tell Your Child About Their Diagnosis: Essential Do's and Don'ts.

• Listen in Spotify\
• Listen in Apple

Camouflaging ADHD and Autistic Traits in Girls

• Listen in Spotify
• Listen in Apple

The Neurodiverse Classroom 

• Listen in Spotify
• Listen in Apple

🔗 To find out more about Millie Carr or purchase her books please click on her website or check out her IG

🔗 Sign our Change Petition here

🎧 Listener Questions please send here

🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here

🔗 ADHD Mums Free Guides and Resources here

📚 References & Further Reading

• Disability Standards for Education 2005
  Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government

• Disability Discrimination Act 1992
  View the full legislation on the Federal Register

This episode isn’t about blaming teachers—it’s about exposing the system that’s letting everyone down, especially our neurodivergent kids. If you’ve ever been told ‘they’re fine at school’, you need to hear this.

Hit play. Share with a friend. 

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Connect with other ADHD mums in our Facebook group – no question too small, no meltdown too messy.

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Daily ADHD mum content on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube.

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review helps other mums find support that actually makes sense.

COLLABS:

Want Jane to speak or collaborate? Email [email protected].

MORE RESOURCES:

Still questioning ADHD or autism? Access recommended self-assessments and tools here.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mentioned in this episode:

Give away bad for biz - free resources

Free Resouces