ADHD Mums

Jane interviews Jessica Burgess (Psychologist and friend) on High Performance and ADHD.

Highlights:

- What is high achievement and how is it different to high performance?

- Women are praised for their ADHD traits but they are also sometimes detrimental to mental

and physical health.

- Does medication really dull the creativity and beauty?

- What are strengths for ADHD in the workplace?

- How does leadership look for ADHD and burnout?

- Why do ADHD so often start their own business?

- The interplay between perfectionism and 'not feeling good enough' and ADHD.

- Achievement cycles and how to stop doing it.

- Some strategies from Jess on how to align your values with what you actually do every week.

- Jane talks about wellbeing vs achievement at school.

- Should we disclose ADHD at work?

- How can we encourage more inclusion?

- Jane shares on her childhood and how it created a high achievement vortex that has proven her successful but at what cost?

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On this episode of The ADHD Mums podcast, Jane shares her personal journey with ADHD and her commitment to offering valuable insights and support based on extensive research.

Jane delves into her own experiences with NDIS (National Disability Insurance Scheme) and the determination to provide assistance to others navigating similar challenges. Jane shares her experiences with her daughter, Gigi, and her developmental delays, along with the pivotal moment when specialised medical advice led to NDIS support.

Jane sheds light on various support avenues, including Centrelink options and early intervention programs for young children.

Jane also underscores the significance of early intervention for children, particularly those with developmental delays.

Jane stresses that a formal diagnosis isn't a prerequisite for accessing early intervention services through the NDIS, with NDIS now extending eligibility for early intervention services up to the age of nine.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to leave a rating on the streaming platform of your choice so that this podcast series is boosted in the charts, to help us reach more ADHD mums!

Episode Notes

Connecting with your local NDIS early intervention provider

https://www.ndis.gov.au/understanding/families-and-carers/early-childhood-approach-children-younger-9/connecting-early-childhood-partner

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Jane is joined by Jasmine Meek - they Bayside Doula for a f/up interview

on receiving a diagnosis.

The first episode 32. Preparing for a diagnosis appointment is a good one to start with

this episode is part two.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4lmaXn1P2UcKrMyK4RTFGo?si=IkQ7CiLASQK9UO0Yj4DeaQ

Highlights

- Jasmine discuss magic and time/space where she assumes she has enough time and is never

on time to appointments.

- Jasmine's in person Psychiatrist really focuses on the lack of childhood symptoms in Jasmine's

questionnaire.

- Jane and Jasmine discuss the DSM5 and the ADHD criteria to fulfil the diagnosis requirements

including the childhood symptoms component.

- Jane has PMS and rants hard on the camouflaging symptoms and masking and how the system

is rigged against women.

- Jane continues her rant onto Psychiatrists, problem solving and the validation that we think we are going

to get there which in her opinion rarely happens.

- Jasmine speculates that she has been offered anti depressants and anti anxiety medication instead of stimulants

just because of the 'street value' of stimulants.

- Jane and Jasmine talk about childhood as high maskers and high camouflages which means they don't have a lot

of childhood symptoms.

- Jane and Jasmine talk through Jasmine's options and Jasmine talks about how this appointment is effecting her

as a mother.

**Jane and Jasmine are not medical professionals, this is a heated discussion rather than an expert information session.

You need to check with your medical professional on your medication and treatment options**

Episode Notes

DSM-5 for ADHD

https://www.addrc.org/dsm-5-criteria-for-adhd/

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Jane interviews Jess Burgess (Psychologist) on this expert view on Anxiety and ADHD.

(Fast forward first 5mins if you don't want to hear about Jess and Jane friendship and surfing careers lolz).

Highlights:

x

- How are anxiety and adhd are linked

- Jess explains working memory about why people with ADHD struggle with it.

- How beliefs form

- Why people are often treated for anxiety instead of ADHD and what benefits that has.

- Where does anxiety begin ? 

- Environment vs genetic 

- Stress on the ADHD Mum to do early intervention whilst digesting their own diagnosis.

- Jess discusses strategies for anxiety for Mum's and also families.

- Boundaries and how they impact on anxiety.

- Why self care is important for our kids to SEE us do.

- Jane discusses one of her largest problems, her to do list, her need to be productive

and her to do list obsession and the anxiety that goes hand in hand with that.

- Jess discusses the cycle of anxiety and how we can get out of it.

App suggested by Jane

Ourpact —> Jane uses this app to use parental controls on her kids iPads .

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Jane interviews Shantelle Poynter (her most regular guest) on Holidaying with ADHD and ADHD kids.

This is a follow up interview from 'Self Hatred and ADHD' where Shantelle mentions at the end about

an upcoming holiday to Maryborough and that she would be holidaying differently this time.

Jane catches up with Shantelle after the holiday to see how it went.

Highlights:

- Why are holidays (with kids even more so) so hard?

- The impulsivity behind 'extending the break' by adding together public holidays

- What is the perfect amount of time to holiday?

- Creating an itinerary vs 'letting go'

- Medication juggle - Shantelle teaches Jane about a delivery system that changes her world

- Shantelle discusses how she left for the holiday differently, travelled differently and whether it worked.

- Shantelle 'let it go' in terms of food - how did that go - and being hangry impact on kids.

- Jane and Shantelle discuss quantity of time vs quality of time

- Jane discloses a terrible impulsive holiday decision she made - that is non refundable and now panics

at the thought of it.

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Jane interviews Amanda Di Giglio (waiting on ADHD diagnosis) and Sarah Potts (Neurotypical). Both are 38

year old women who have been friends for 26 years.

Amanda has 5 year boy with a ASD diagnosis and 2.5 year old daughter. Sarah has 7 year old daughter and

5 year old boy.

Both are married and work part time in NSW.

The idea of this episode is to compare the experiences of an ADHD Mum vs a

Neurotypical Mum. If you are questioning if you have ADHD or is this just Mum life?

This is the episode for you.

Highlights:

- Sarah and Amanda compares their morning routine.

--> Do they get there on time?

--> How do they remember everything?

-- What's their mood like?

- Sarah and Amanda compare the way they organise themselves

for 'colour day.'

--> Jane jumps in and compares pre medicated Jane and medicated Jane.

She can actually start to operate in some similarity with Sarah.

Sarah and Amanda discuss meal planning, grocery shopping and logistics

in a household. Admin tasks, change in routine, sick kids.

--> How many tabs are open, what systems are used, how do you handle

stress and last minute changes?

They also discuss holidaying together, who arrives at the airport when, who organises

the itinerary and how it works.

Sarah and Amanda discuss dopamine seeking behaviour, Jane compares unmedicated Jane

to medicated Jane.

This episode is all about the comparisons. This is always a dangerous area, we don't want to compare

our lives about whose life is harder - yet we also want to draw the line between an ADHD Mum and a

neurotypical Mum. They are both challenging yet they are also very difficult. If you aren't sure where

you sit, what is 'normal' and what isn't - then this is the episode for you.

Check out Sarah's organisation business

www.zenspacesbysarah.com.au

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Jane interviews Sharon Collin from 'The Functional Family' on relationships.

Sharon has a ADHD husband and three sons with ADHD, she herself is neurotypical.

Sharon has studied ADHD heavily and built a coaching business and family membership around it.

Highlights

- Sharon and Jane discuss the frustration, anger and common problems that occur between two different

brains managing a house hold.

- Sharon discusses the changes in her attitude over time, how she looks at her husband with curiosity not

frustration. There is always a danger to nag or 'mother' an ADHD person - this is a romance killer!

- What attracted Sharon to her husband

- What Sharon's husband went through as a child at school - being labelled 'naughty'

and the kid that no one wanted to hang out with. Sharon is determined this will not happen to her sons.

- Sharon talks on forgiveness and patience and learning to accept the whole person.

- Sharon talks on 'Predictable Problems,' what they are and how they impact a relationship.

- Jane and Sharon talk about dynamics that can eat away at your relationship.

- The invisible mother load and how having ADHD impacts this.

- Jane and Sharon talk about 'family meetings' once a week (template available on Sharon's website)

- Jane and Sharon talk about how different brains listen and solve problems.  

- What are you good at - let's all play to our strengths.

- Tap in and out with your husband or partner 

- Horrifying example of Sharon husband selling car out from underneath her LOLZ!!

- Jane shares a personal struggle she is struggling with and Sharon helps sorts her out. 

Serious question: Can Sharon marry me ?? Why is she so accepting? I need to be more like that.

Episode Notes

Check out Sharon at https://www.thefunctionalfamily.com/

 https://www.thefunctionalfamily.com/blog/letscallafamilymeeting (family meeting template)

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Jane interviews Millie Car from Millie Carr Books. Millie has ADHD, three neurodiverse children and is a primary school teacher in Melbourne.

Highlights

- Millie talks about proactively setting up the classroom for neurodiverse learning from day one, let's not wait for something to happen,

let's get ahead of it.

- This is great for diagnosed kids, pre-diagnosis kids or undetected kids by just NOT expecting all kids to act neurotypical.

- Can we cater to multiple diagnosis' with one approach ie. small changes in the classroom can make a big difference.

- Expectations on parents vs expectation on teachers.

- Home work expectations - can we all just do the bare minimum please?

- The changes to inclusion being implemented in Australia.

- Millie talks passionately about creating a culture of accepting all different students, how can we change the culture in schools?

- Teachers need time set aside for professional development for ADHD, ASD and neurodiversities. We can't expect them to just know.

- Jane calls for an overhaul of the education system (yet again).

- Millie discusses the teacher shortage and Jane discusses how it feels to be a parent where it feels the principal is always on the teacher's side.

- Jane loses her shit and gets on the high horse and regrets some of her wording about schooling system and the mental health crisis in our young

people.

- Primary vs secondary education and how inclusion works.

- Millie and Jane discuss how yelling at neurodiverse kids just doesn't work.

- Why have we moved forward with inclusion in the workforce but not in schools?

- Are we getting to a place now that we know the system isn't working but we don't know what to do differently?

- Millie gives advice on how she personally would pick a school for her child, what to look for, what to avoid.

- Millie and Jane discuss private vs public (controversial topics lol)

Check out Millie Carr's books on ADHD at https://milliecarrbooks.com/

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Jane is joined by Jasmine Meek - the Bayside Doula who is just about to meet a Psychiatrist to discuss a possible ADHD diagnosis.

Jasmine is married with two kids and is a post partum doula.

ADHD Mum's plans to follow Jasmine through the lead up to the appointment (this episode) plus catch up after the appointment and see if Jasmine is diagnosed with ADHD, then follow along the medication journey.

Highlights

- What led up to Jasmine seeking a diagnosis?

- What was it about Motherhood that impacted her so heavily that she saw herself as possibly having ADHD?

- What steps did Jasmine take to get the referral/psychiatrist appointment and how long did that take?

- How a possible ADHD diagnosis has impacted Jasmine's life - particularly growing up as a child and teenager.

- How self esteem plays a role in her adult life.

- Transitioning from school to uni.

- What Jasmine is preparing in her appointment lead up - how can you really unpack this yourself to get clear

before the psychiatrist appointment

- How can Jasmine be clear on camouflaging in female ADHD and scaffolding with her Psychiatrist.

- How does ADHD effect the relationship with her husband - time blindness.

- Jasmine was diagnosed with anxiety and given medication - 12 months post partum.

- Jasmine and Jane discuss why it is we can't remember what day library is - every single bloody week.

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Jane is joined by Tania Waring, a lawyer and advocate/care coordinator Mum of three neurodiverse boys. Tania has also completed her honours in Psychology and has just applied for a scholarship to begin her doctorate in the use of co-regulation to prevent and minimise meltdowns in the classroom. Tania is very passionate about inclusive education and improving outcomes for children with ADHD and autism.

Highlights

- What is a melt down?

- How is a melt down different to a tantrum?

- What to do in a melt down?

- Parenting styles - what if one parent wants to try an approach to the other?

- What does a melt down feel like for a child?

- Anxiety from the parents - can feel like you are walking on egg shells.

- Can you prevent a melt down and how can you do that?

- Jane shares about her two boys and their melt downs which require the 'replaying.'

- The toll on the parents

- Toll on the siblings and how can we prevent resentment.

- Jane asks the big question - 'Why are we seeing the melt downs happen now, did corporal punishment work before?

Tania shares her final message. 'Have Hope, Be Kind'

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