Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing

Betrayal doesn't just break trust—it can completely reshape how you experience rejection.

In this conversation, Amie and Alana unpack why rejection sensitivity becomes so intense after betrayal trauma, how comparison steals peace, and why rebuilding self-trust is one of the most important parts of healing.

You'll learn:

• Why betrayal attacks your sense of worth

• How rejection becomes stored in the nervous system

• How to rebuild self-trust after betrayal

• Why healing isn't about avoiding rejection—but refusing to abandon yourself

Chapters

• 03:08 Personal Story of Shattered Self-Worth

• 10:33 Rejection Before and After Discovery

• 13:46 Comparison and Hypervigilance

• 18:07 Self-Objectification

• 25:40 Rebuilding Self-Trust and Safety

We’d love to hear from you!

• Fill out this brief survey to let us know your feedback about the podcast!

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.

• FREE monthly workshop: 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity. 

• 6-Week Group: Designed for those moving through the impact of betrayal trauma and wanting a grounded, compassionate space to rebuild trust in themselves. Each week we’ll explore a theme from Rick Hanson’s book Resilience and pair it with simple art exercises.

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

Watch us⁠ on YouTube.

More from Choose Recovery Services

• Beyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.

• Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.

• Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.

• Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.

• Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.

• Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.

• Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.

• Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.

Rejection sensitivity can quietly shape addiction, relationships, and recovery.

In this episode, we discuss why individuals struggling with compulsive sexual behavior often experience intense fear of rejection—not as an excuse for harmful choices, but as an invitation to deeper healing.

You'll learn:

• Why rejection sensitivity develops

• How shame reinforces addictive cycles

• Why recovery requires emotional resilience

• The difference between accountability and identity

• Practical ways to build emotional capacity and secure attachment

Healing isn't about becoming rejection-proof—it's about learning to experience discomfort without escaping it.

Chapters

• 02:48 Rejection as a Symptom 

• 04:03 Childhood Roots

• 07:32 Neurodivergence

• 09:15 Addiction as Escape

• 11:35 Secrecy and Shame Loop

• 15:58 Identity vs Behavior

• 19:13 Emotional Immaturity

• 22:49 How to Heal Rejection

We’d love to hear from you!

• Fill out this brief survey to let us know your feedback about the podcast!

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.

• FREE monthly workshop: 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity. 

• 6-Week Group: Designed for those moving through the impact of betrayal trauma and wanting a grounded, compassionate space to rebuild trust in themselves. Each week we’ll explore a theme from Rick Hanson’s book Resilience and pair it with simple art exercises.

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

Watch us⁠ on YouTube.

Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services

⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.

Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.

More from Choose Recovery Services

• Beyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.

• Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.

• Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.

• Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.

• Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

Writing an impact letter can feel overwhelming, emotional, and even re-traumatizing.

So why do it?

Amie and Alana unpack the purpose behind this powerful recovery tool, explain how it fits into therapeutic disclosure, and discuss why the greatest healing often comes from validating your own experience—not trying to convince your partner to understand.

Chapters

• 02:17 Where It Fits in Disclosure

• 03:41 Timing and Personalization

• 07:19 Grief and Ongoing Healing

• 09:03 Your Story and Shared Grief

• 16:44 Writing Makes It Real

• 18:10 Stop Minimizing

• 20:55 Write For You, Not Them

We’d love to hear from you!

• Fill out this brief survey to let us know your feedback about the podcast!

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.

• FREE monthly workshop: 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity. 

• 6-Week Group: Designed for those moving through the impact of betrayal trauma and wanting a grounded, compassionate space to rebuild trust in themselves. Each week we’ll explore a theme from Rick Hanson’s book Resilience and pair it with simple art exercises.

Get our FREE eBook - Is a Full Therapeutic Disclosure Right For Me?

Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to [email protected]. 

Watch us⁠ on YouTube.

Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services

⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.

Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.

More from Choose Recovery Services

• Beyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.

• Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.

• Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.

• Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.

• Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.

• Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.

• Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.

• Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

It's one of the most common—and heartbreaking—questions after betrayal trauma.

This week Amie and Alana discuss what healing actually looks like after betrayal trauma, why recovery often feels painfully slow, and the practices that truly help. They explore support groups, self-compassion, psychoeducation, nervous system healing, somatic work, family-of-origin healing, and the obstacles that can quietly keep us stuck.

Most importantly, this episode offers hope. Even if you can't see it today, healing is possible. If you're in the middle of the darkness, keep listening.

Chapters

• 01:14 Will I Ever Heal?

• 2:00 Personal Story

• 05:01 Darkness to Sunrise Metaphor

• 07:47 Early Stage Healing Tools

• 11:03 Real Self-Care Explained

• 16:51 Psychoeducation and Roadmap

• 21:24 What Hinders Healing

• 25:14 Advanced Somatic Work

• 32:15 There is Hope

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to [email protected]. 

Watch us⁠ on YouTube.

Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services

⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.

Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.

More from Choose Recovery Services

• Beyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.

• Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.

• Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.

• Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.

• Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.

• Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.

• Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.

• Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.

Why does accountability feel so difficult after betrayal?

For many betrayed partners, the answer seems obvious: if someone truly understood the pain they caused, they would simply own it.

But healing is often more complicated.

This week Alana explores why accountability can feel emotionally threatening for those who have betrayed a partner—not as an excuse, but as a pathway toward understanding the barriers that prevent true repair.

You'll learn:

• The role shame plays in defensiveness

• How nervous system responses can block empathy

• Why self-hatred isn’t accountability

• What betrayed partners should watch for when accountability never comes

If you're navigating betrayal trauma, compulsive sexual behavior recovery, or rebuilding trust after infidelity, this episode offers practical insights grounded in trauma-informed care.

Chapters

• 01:40 Why Accountability Feels Threatening

• 03:22 Identity Death and Safety

• 11:11 Grieving the False Self

• 13:20 Mistakes Mean Rejection

• 18:44 Emotional Capacity for Repair

• 25:07 When Accountability is Missing

• 28:25 How Betrayers Build Accountability

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to [email protected]. 

Watch us⁠ on YouTube.

Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services

⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.

Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.

More from Choose Recovery Services

• Beyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.

• Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.

• Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.

• Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.

• Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.

• Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.

• Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.

• Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

Many people spend years reading books, listening to podcasts, attending therapy, and understanding addiction. Yet they still feel stuck.

This week Luke and Alana explain why information alone never creates transformation—and what actually does.

You'll learn:

• Why insight feels good but doesn’t change behavior

• The uncomfortable “growth zone”

• How emotional awareness rewires recovery

• Why habits matter more than motivation

• How integration creates lasting healing

Chapters

• 01:35 The Recovery Expert Trap

• 02:25 Swimming Lessons

• 05:37 Insight vs Practice

• 07:24 Repetition

• 11:15 Integration

• 15:13 Systems

• 18:46 Compassion As You Try to Change

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to [email protected]. 

Watch us⁠ on YouTube.

Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services

⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.

Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.

More from Choose Recovery Services

• Beyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.

• Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.

• Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.

• Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.

• Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.

• Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.

• Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.

• Making Sense of His Behavior- Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

Why does an emotionally shut down man struggle to change—even when he genuinely wants to?

In this follow-up episode, Luke and Alana respond to listener questions about emotional shutdown, nervous system healing, and what recovery actually looks like for men who have spent years disconnecting from their emotions.

***Listen to Part 1 HERE.***

Together they explore:

• Why insight alone doesn't create change

• What emotional shutdown is really protecting

• How attachment wounds shape adult relationships

• Why some men become more emotional after starting recovery

• What somatic work actually is

• How nervous system healing creates lasting transformation

• What emotional reconnection looks like in real life

Chapters

• 01:23 Why Insight Isn’t Enough

• 07:40 What Shutdown Protects

• 11:50 Control and Safety

• 16:20 Predictability Over Vulnerability

• 20:10 Reconnecting Emotionally

• 28:53 Somatic Work Explained

• 30:14 Healing Takes Time

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

NEW Groups

• Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

• Know Your Story is a group for men who are ready to move beyond surface-level recovery and explore the experiences, beliefs, and patterns that have shaped their lives through guided writing exercises, reflection, and group discussion. Group starts June 22nd and runs for 14 weeks.

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to [email protected]. 

Watch us⁠ on YouTube.

Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services

⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.

Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.

More from Choose Recovery Services

• Beyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.

• Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.

• Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.

• Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.

• Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.

• Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.

• Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.

What does an emotionally shut down man actually look like?

Spoiler:Usually not what people think.

In this powerful conversation, Luke and Alana explore the hidden reality of emotional shutdown in men—especially the high-performing, successful men who appear “fine” on the outside but are deeply disconnected on the inside.

From avoidant attachment to compulsive behavior, emotional numbness, and relational loneliness, this episode helps both men and betrayed partners understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.

Healing is possible. Deeper connection is possible.

But first—you have to feel.

Chapters

• 01:48 What Being Emotionally Shut Down Looks Like

• 04:01 High Performing Shut down

• 09:13 Inside the Shutdown

• 12:39 Signs and Logic

• 16:54 Learning Emotional Safety

• 19:35 Tears and the Body

• 22:27 Busy vs Stillness

• 24:14 Chasing Intensity

• 30:00 Numbness and Dissociation

• 38:35 Individuation and Reconnection

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

NEW Groups

• Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

• Know Your Story is a group for men who are ready to move beyond surface-level recovery and explore the experiences, beliefs, and patterns that have shaped their lives through guided writing exercises, reflection, and group discussion. Group starts June 22nd and runs for 14 weeks.

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to [email protected]. 

Watch us⁠ on YouTube.

Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services

⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.

Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.

More from Choose Recovery Services

• Beyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.

• Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.

• Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.

• Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.

• Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.

• Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.

• Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.

What if you're not healing wrong?

After betrayal, many people compare their recovery journey to others and wonder if they're making the right decisions. Whether it's disclosure, separation, therapy, support groups, or boundaries, it's easy to get caught in "should" thinking.

In this episode, Alana discusses why healing isn't one-size-fits-all and how learning to trust your own intuition can become one of the most important parts of recovery.

You'll learn:

• Why "should" often signals shame

• How comparison sabotages healing

• The difference between guidance and personal truth

• Why you don't need permission to trust yourself

• How to strengthen self-trust after betrayal trauma

Chapters

• 01:10 The Shame Behind Should

• 04:53 You’re the Expert on You

• 10:48 Choosing Your Own Path

• 13:38 Building Self-Trust

• 18:57 Takeaways on Shoulds

Register Now!

• ***Use promo code PODCAST150 to get $150 off when you register for any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• 🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat July 30-August 3.

• Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW group designed for women trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

• Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.

• We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to [email protected]. 

Watch us⁠ on YouTube.

Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services

⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.

Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.

More from Choose Recovery Services

• Beyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.

• Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.

• Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.

• Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.

• Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.

• Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.

• Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.

You’ve done therapy. Communication is improving. The triggers aren’t as constant anymore. So why does emotional connection still feel difficult?

This week, Alana explores the hidden layers of betrayal trauma that continue impacting intimacy long after recovery begins. From nervous system hypervigilance to protector parts, grief, shame, and emotional exhaustion, this conversation explains why closeness can still feel unsafe — even when both partners are trying.

This episode offers compassionate insight for betrayed partners and couples working toward deeper relational healing after betrayal.

Chapters

• 01:53 Betrayal and the Nervous System

• 06:32 Functional vs Emotional Intimacy

• 12:14 Protector Parts

• 18:38 Shared Grief

• 21:41 Common Blocks To Going Deep

• 28:30 Tools That Build Connection

• 34:39 Slow Steps Toward Safety

If you want to connect deeper with your partner, consider joining us for our Rise and Renew couples retreat in Costa Rica this summer. If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. 

Register Now!

• ***Use promo code PODCAST150 to get $150 off when you register for any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• 🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. 

• Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW group designed for women trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

• Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.

• We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to [email protected]. 

Watch us⁠ on YouTube.

Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services

⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.

Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.

More from Choose Recovery Services

• Beyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.

• Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.

• Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.

• Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.

• Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.

• Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.

• Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.