Confidence

I’ve always struggled to stand firm in my decisions. I used to see my trust issues as something outward, without realizing it was never about them ... it was always about me. Today, I'll share my breakthroughs on my journey to building genuine self-trust. I talk about how ego, fear, and expectation can keep us trapped in relationships and situations we don’t actually want to be in. I’ll give you examples from two of my clients, one who’s been struggling to let go of a relationship, and one who feels the pressure of finding marriage while the clock’s ticking. It’s not easy to take the world on alone, but I’ll share how I’ve learned to sit in the discomfort and overcome ego even when it's begging you to run back.

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I’ve been sitting with a lot of uncomfortable emotions this week. It’s hard not to feel some resistance when experiencing major change in your life. I’ve been learning to let go, surrender to how people show up, and recognize that building the most secure version of yourself takes time. I talk about what it means to really let go of safety, and why so many of us cling to relationships that don’t align with what we want. This episode is a wake-up call to let go of anything that is stopping you from receiving what you desire deep down.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: https://confidencechris.com

I took this solo trip thinking it would be like a peaceful little reset. But instead, it turned into so much more. This emotional rollercoaster cracked me open in a way I didn’t expect. I talk about what it was like being isolated, completely surrounded by people, having to surrender to all the anxiety and loneliness, and it honestly changed everything for me. As I sat there with all these feelings and finally let them go, something insane happened! This one moment forced me to look at the relationship I was already in and face some hard-ass questions: Am I in this because it feels good and safe, or am I avoiding the truth that it’s not actually what I want? I'll be honest, this part of the story gets messy, but I guess that is for you to judge...

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters

00:00 An Avoidant Takes a Solo Trip (A Wild Ride)

1:04:55 Not Holding Guilt After Showing Up Anxious in Your Relationship

I’ve been realizing how deep my avoidance runs, how I try to control everything just to avoid getting hurt. I talk about a moment this week that really triggered me, some shit came up in my relationship, and I was ready to dip … in the moment I realized that I had to sit with it and be like … am I actually scared of her, or am I scared of being loved? I discuss how I’ve been stuck in the cycle of pushing love away while still craving it, how fear of abandonment has shaped my whole routine, and why I keep people at a distance even when I don’t want to.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/⁠⁠

No Chapters

There’s nothing more devastating to your relationships than your own ego. In this episode, I’m breaking down the patterns that keep us stuck in comparison, insecurity, and why nothing ever feels like enough. I’m sharing how I’ve been navigating my own ego, including a real story about an uncomfortable moment in my relationship. I also get into what to do when you’ve outgrown certain friendships or relationships, and why checking your partner’s IG following might say more about you than them. This is a full breakdown on self-trust, ego, and learning how to stop needing external validation.

Chapters:

00:00 Ego Is Lying to You

39:58 How to Navigate Relationships You've Outgrown

49:19 Checking Their IG Following: Harmless or Insecure?

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

What if I told you that you ARE actually needy? That when you are accused of being too much, it ISN'T a lie, but it is not for the reason that you think! This week, I unpack a bunch of discoveries I've made for both anxious and avoidant attachments. I also made some enormous perosnal strides this week, I share about my incessant need for attention (maybe it's the attention I was deprived of as a kid, I am sure y'all will relate), fear of looking uncool, and finally understanding how destructive my current patterns are in my battle for inner security. I also answer a few listener questions, such as how to let go of someone who isn’t right for you (but you still miss) and what to do when an avoidant gets disrespectful, plus a special twist at the end.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Healing Insecure Attachment

45:39 Letting Go of Someone You Miss But Isn’t Right for You

50:11 How to Respond to Avoidant Calling You Clingy

They always come back, don't they? I hate being a statistic, but this week I embarked on a very questionable quest in the middle of an anxiety attack. In today’s episode, I unpack my anxious avoidant patterns with a few wild stories. I'll also share some recent massive breakthroughs, such as the power of prioritizing self-satisfaction over external approval, and how to choose peace over performance. Let’s talk about why you run, what you're actually chasing, and how to stop judging yourself for just being human. Also, at the end, I'll give you a 15-minute masterclass on flirting with people in the wild. Let's do it!

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Chasing Intensity Instead of Love (Deconstructing Avoidant Attachment)

45:22 How to Flirt: Flirting Masterclass

Today, I'm going off-script, but on script, it's weird. I break down the steps of what it truly means to build self-security. I discuss the trap of chasing external validation and how real happiness lies in the uncomfortable journey inward. I unpack how to stop molding yourself for acceptance, why true worthiness isn’t based on your achievements, and how taking vulnerably risky action will lead you to the authentic relationships you've always wanted. If you’re constantly worried about reactions or if you’re scared to show your true self, this episode is your reminder: the peace you’re seeking is already within you.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

6:53 How to Build Self-Security

43:07 My Subconscious Agreements Holding Me Back From Love

Isn’t it wild how you can miss someone you don’t even want to be with? In today’s episode, I’ll tell you how I’ve been second-guessing myself and why I’ve struggled to walk away from something I knew wasn’t right. We’ll dig into avoidant attachment, self-trust, and the guilt that keeps you stuck. I also talk about redefining what I really want, cutting the bullshit in my dating life, and how easily fear and external validation can run the show.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Intro: Struggling with Guilt & Over-Responsibility for Others Feelings

12:01 Overcoming External Validation

40:05 Fear that I Am Not Cool

52:18 When is the Right Time to Put Out

A lot of men can’t stay still in a relationship, I am one of them. Today, I share my inner dialogue around my recent separation. I discuss the struggle of having high standards versus navigating avoidant attachment. I also unpack some tricky dating scenarios on whether or not to take that extra next date (if you aren’t feeling that initial spark), or what to do when the person you loved ran away and now wants another chance (but you already met their replacement).

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters

00:00 Intro: I Ran Away (Again)

21:13 Should You Keep Dating Without Immediate Attraction

36:05 What to Do if They Come Back and You Already Met Someone New