Confidence

This week I welcome Rieya on the show! Rieya is one of my current clients, and this week she shares her story about how you end up in a relationship where you abandon yourself, ignore the red flags, and chase breadcrumbs. It’s not always obvious while it’s happening. We get into anxious attachment, over-functioning, and why it’s so hard to let go of someone who once treated you well. We also talk about what emotional abandonment really looks like, how to break that people-pleasing pattern, and why your self-worth can tank when you're trying to “fix” someone who won’t even fix themselves.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Coachee Spotlight Reiya - Situation Introduction

13:47 Her Biggest Fear Around Love

27:47 Where Her Struggles With Boundaries Came From

35:31 Why You Hold On So Hard

47:10 Men Chasing External Validation

58:02 Sharing a Dog with Your Ex

Ever find yourself stuck ruminating about why a relationship didn't work or obsessing over what could've been done differently? In today's episode, I break down the mindset shifts that helped me finally feel at peace, even amid uncertainty, and why embracing micro-rejections (or abandonment) can be your superpower. Plus, I'll cover the tough questions: When is the right time to break no contact with an ex? How can you tactically and effectively set boundaries early on in dating without causing awkwardness?

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Intro - Letting Go of Control

16:03 Breaking No Contact with Your Avoidant Ex

40:48 How to Communicate Boundaries Tactically

59:44 How to Ask "What Are We?" Without Asking

If you've ever wondered why you feel like a catch but it doesn't ever seem to be enough for someone, this is the episode for you. I’ll explore why a little healthy conflict is essential for lasting attraction, how to manage guilt when dating multiple people, and why sticking up for yourself can lead to uncomfortable but necessary outcomes. Let's unpack one of dating's trickiest dilemmas: What's the line between getting what you want and being realistic?

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Intro

6:18 The Line Between Being Grateful For Someone vs. Settling

10:47 The Role of Polarity (Healthy Challenge) in Relationships

32:28 When People Cut You Off For Standing Up For Yourself

43:01 Dating Multiple People Instead of Putting All Your Eggs in One Basket

I’ve always struggled with commitment. I am constantly on guard for any signs of mistrust and as a result protect myself with multiple surface-level connections. Today’s episode is a very vulnerable insight into my recent breakup, my inner demons, and my constant battle with self-worth and seeking that external validation. It seems I am constantly looking for perfection in relationships, and I’ve made some powerful realizations about why I push good people away. I then get into healing attachment wounds even while single. I'll share the journal prompts and strategies I use to deal with envy, rejection, and triggers. I loved recording this episode, and I hope you enjoy a truly deep insight into my journey for genuine self-confidence and commitment.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Intro: Fear of Commitment

32:05 Working on Attachment & Triggers While Single

49:57 Healing Your Need for External Validation & Fear of Rejection

Is it a healthy boundary, or are you just pushing something good away? In today’s episode, I’m getting very real about the breakup I just went through, how hard it was to walk away from something that felt safe, and the deep emotional battle between fear and alignment. I’m reading straight from my journal after ending the relationship, and sharing what finally gave me clarity. Then, I’m answering a listener’s question about what to do when someone shows up the right way and it still freaks you out. Honestly I am going to need to make a part 2, because after watching it back, I might be looking at things differently...I'll end it with a wild “one’s gotta go” segment, because f**k it.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Intro: Boundaries vs Self-Sabotage + Post Break up Journal

44:52 Overcoming Sabotaging Peaceful Partners After Toxic Relationships

55:18 Pick 2: Tightness, Wetness, Balanced PH

Ever felt judged for something you did years ago? In this episode, I'm diving deep into retroactive jealousy: why it happens, when it’s fair (and when it’s not), and how to deal with people who can’t let go of your past. I talk body count, male friendships, party girl narratives, and more. I’ll touch on the hardships of modern dating and how our gender dating roles are culturally shifting. Plus, I get into how weed was messing with my mindset and what’s helped me take back control. I’ll also tackle a listener’s DM about whether or not her past makes her undateable. Let’s get real about rejection, values, and how to stop shrinking yourself just to be loved.

Chapters:

00:00 Intro: The Struggle of Modern Dating

21:05 Retroactive Jealousy

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/⁠⁠

What do you do when it seems like they want you but not a relationship? Or when they judge your past even though it had nothing to do with them? In this episode, I'll talk about setting boundaries even when it scares you, how to confidently slide into DMs (with some wild personal examples), and how to avoid letting your insecurities destroy your self-worth. I'll also cover how to reframe comparing new people to your ex for elevating your standards and what to do when they make it seem like they want you but not a relationship.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https:⁠//confidencechris.com/⁠⁠⁠.

Chapters:

00:00 Intro: A Listener Sets a Boundary

06:16 Guys Judging You For Your Past: Valid or Invalid?

19:50 Handling Your Insecurities in Relationships

27:09 How to Slide in the DMs

37:22 Reclaiming Standards After Being Left by Someone You Loved

50:56 They Want You But Not a Relationship

Ever feel like your relationship is amazing, only for reality to suddenly hit hard? In today's episode, I'm sharing my rollercoaster week filled with unexpected conflicts, triggering conversations, and deep emotional reflections. We'll unpack why relationships often shift after the honeymoon phase and how confronting issues head-on can either strengthen your bond or clarify your true needs.

Plus, I'm answering listener questions: How long is too long to wait for someone to commit, and are you settling out of loneliness or desperation? It's a brutally honest chat about boundaries, authentic communication, and knowing when to hold on or let go.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/⁠⁠.

Chapters:

00:00 Intro: Is the Honeymoon Phase Over?

44:32 How to Know if it's Too Hasty to Move On From Someone'

51:07 Audience Question: Desperate When You're Lonely or Fresh Off a Break up

To be or not to be, commit or not to commit ... that is the question. In today’s episode, I’m breaking down the different phases of commitment, the real dating timeline, and the characteristics of a potential genuine relationship. Then, I go on a giant rant about men following girls on Instagram: what’s normal, what’s shady, and when it’s a straight-up red flag. Also, I tackle a listener’s dilemma: why does she keep attracting men who are already taken? (Did someone say homewrecker?) Let’s go to work!

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/⁠⁠.

Chapters:

00:00 Intro: Commitment Timeline When Things Are Going Well

26:38 How Can I Tell Avoidant Man is Not Interested vs Needs More Time

43:09 Man's Perspective on Guys Following Girls on Instagram

58:14 If You Tend to Attract Men That Are Committed

Ever wonder why someone hesitates to commit, even when everything seems perfect? In this deeply personal episode, I open up about my struggles with commitment, exploring the fears, insecurities, and avoidant tendencies running through my brain. I discuss the myth of rushing into relationships and how true love demands patience and authenticity. I also tackle a listener's question about how to know when you're truly ready to date again after a toxic relationship (with an avoidant).

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/⁠⁠

Chapters:

00:00 Intro: How Long Should You Wait to Commit?

9:56 Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men | Inside the Mind of an Avoidant

55:20 How Do You Know You're Ready to Date Again After Dating An Avoidant?