Dating Intentionally

Is someone being "out of your league" even a real thing? In this episode, I'm chatting with relationship scientist and author Paul Eastwick (Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection) to unpack the science of mate value, why matchmaking based on shared traits almost never works, and what actually predicts compatibility (it's not the traits on your list).

From decoding your own dating patterns to knowing when attraction is genuinely going to grow, this conversation is packed with practical, research-backed advice for anyone who feels stuck comparing partners against a checklist.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why what you say you want in a partner doesn't predict who you actually choose
• The truth about mate value and dating "out of your league"
• Why matchmaking based on shared traits and interests rarely works
• What actually predicts long-term compatibility (hint: it's not a trait)
• Why attraction often grows slowly instead of hitting all at once
• Whether a strict list of dealbreakers helps or hurts you

At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a situationship where trust was broken, and whether it's worth trying to repair it.

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Love Factually podcast

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Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more

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Submit a dating dilemma

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Dating today can be a mess, and so much of that mess stems from confusion, uncertainty, and ambiguity showing up in ways that just infuriate us. In this episode, I'm answering four listener dating dilemmas that each capture a different flavor of that chaos, from the planning-phase ghost to the partner whose humor crosses a line to the slow fade that sends you spiraling over someone you barely know. These aren't rare, one-off situations either. I hear versions of these same four patterns constantly, which is exactly why I wanted to break them down together. I'm covering:

• What to do when a guy keeps initiating dates that never actually happen
• Why a plan without a set time, date, and location usually isn't a real plan at all
• How to know if you're being "managerial" by helping plan a date, or just being reasonable
• How to handle a new boyfriend whose "jokes" cross a real line
• What it means when a partner says the only way to be with you is to suppress part of himself
• Whether to say something when a casual connection's slow responses start to bother you
• How much effort is reasonable to expect when you're not looking for anything serious
• How to hold onto your sense of self when someone goes quiet after a great phone call
• How to tell the difference between an old trigger and an actual red flag in the moment

For each one, I give you the exact tweak I'd make if I were in your shoes, along with the bigger pattern underneath so you can spot it before it drains you again. My hope is that you walk away from this episode more decisive, less likely to spiral, and a little more convinced that most of this isn't actually about you.

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally

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Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more

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Submit a dating dilemma

Slide into my DMs on IG

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How do you actually get over a breakup, and why does it feel so impossible? In this episode, I'm chatting with author and mental health advocate Kelsey Darragh to unpack the science of heartbreak, why no-contact is so difficult, and what actually helps you move forward after a breakup (It's not the closure moment you think it is).

From healing after a long-term relationship to knowing when you're ready to date again, this conversation is packed with practical advice for anyone struggling to let go of an ex or rebuild trust in love.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why the story you tell yourself about your breakup matters
• The psychology behind no-contact (and how to stick with it)
• The truth about where closure comes from
• How to know when you're ready to date again
• Heartbreak vs. mental health: when to seek extra support
• Whether you should tell a new partner about mistakes you've made in past relationships

At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about whether you need to disclose past cheating before entering a new relationship.

CONNECT WITH KELSEY

On Instagram

Get her new book, Don't Do What I Did

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally

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Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more

CONNECT WITH ME

Submit a dating dilemma

Slide into my DMs on IG

Watch the pod on YouTube

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Not sure who's worthy of a first date? In this episode, I'm sharing my exact process for deciding who gets a first date, including the one screening step I wish I'd done more of before meeting people in person.

• The 3 questions to ask yourself before meeting someone
• What's actually worth paying attention to on a profile (and what to ignore)
• Why over-vetting someone like a job interview backfires
• How texting for too long creates a false sense of intimacy
• Why a quick phone or video screening call beats weeks of DMs
• How vetting works differently when you meet someone offline vs. on the apps

At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman whose boyfriend of three months lied about his age.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

How to nail a first date from start to finish

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally

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Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more

CONNECT WITH ME

Submit a dating dilemma

Slide into my DMs on IG

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It's finale week, which means we're wrapping up this season of Love Island Lessons with five final dating takeaways from Love Island USA Season 8. In this episode, I'm breaking down why exclusivity has a place in modern dating (and why it's not the same as being in a situationship), how to recognize breadcrumbing before you get emotionally invested, and why waiting for someone to change is one of the biggest traps you can fall into. I also share my thoughts on what the compatibility challenge got wrong and why meeting the family is such a meaningful milestone in a relationship. Plus, we recap the finale couples, the winners, and the biggest dating lessons from the villa.

MENTIONED IN THIS EP

Tips for meeting the parents (and other relationship firsts)

How to tell if you're compatible before you catch feelings

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In this episode, I sit down with Hinge's Love & Connection Expert, licensed marriage and family therapist Moe Ari Brown, to unpack what Hinge's latest LGBTQIA+ D.A.T.E. Report reveals about modern dating. We dive into why so many first dates feel like they're going nowhere, the surprising "question deficit" that's making it harder to build connection, and why clarity is becoming one of the most attractive qualities in dating today.

You'll learn...

• Why so many people aren't asking enough questions on dates and how it's impacting attraction.
• The best first date habits that actually lead to stronger connections.
• What Hinge's latest dating research reveals about how dating is changing in 2026.
• Why uncertainty is making people more intentional about what they want in a partner.
• The difference between saying you're emotionally available and actually showing it.
• How to communicate your intentions without killing the vibe.
• Why consistency matters more than grand romantic gestures.
• The case for embracing a slow burn
• How to build attraction through curiosity, clarity, and genuine connection.
• A listener dating dilemma: What do you do when you have a crush on your non-binary friend and can't tell if the feelings are mutual?

Whether you've been frustrated by awkward first dates, mixed signals, or conversations that never seem to go anywhere, this episode will give you practical insights—and a fresh perspective on what actually helps relationships get off the ground.

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally

FREE STUFF

Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more

CONNECT WITH ME

Submit a dating dilemma

Slide into my DMs on IG

Watch the pod on YouTube

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Summer dating is the best, IMO. Vacation flings, coordinating dates when everyone's going away, dating app struggles and more - we get into it all in this guide to dating in the summer. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about a promising Hinge connection that fizzled out after both people traveled, and how to tell the difference between someone losing interest and your own anxiety talking.

You'll learn...

• The conversation you need to have before you/they travel
• The biggest dating app mistake to avoid in the summer
• My tips for getting to the date quickly even when people's schedules are crazy
• Advice for deciding to take a break (or not) this summer
• How to navigate a vacation romance without the heartbreak and drama

MENTIONED IN THIS EP

Ep 277 with Camille Virginia about meeting people IRL

Ep 249 with Eric Resnick about revamping your dating app profile

Ep 186 on how (and when) to take a dating break

The waitlist for Date Tracker, my new dating journaling app coming soon!

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally

FREE STUFF

Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more

CONNECT WITH ME

Submit a dating dilemma

Slide into my DMs on IG

Watch the pod on YouTube

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Movie Night brought the drama and lots of lessons to learn about dating. I’m watching Love Island USA Season 8 to draw real-life dating lessons from it. This week (Episodes 23–29), I’m breaking down why feeling stressed more often than at peace is a major red flag, why even well-meaning friends can give terrible dating advice, and why you should check in with a friend before pursuing someone they're interested in. I also get into a better way to have the exclusivity conversation, what it actually takes to rebuild trust after betrayal, and why "fixing" a relationship is never one person's job. Plus, I share my thoughts on the aftermath of Movie Night and what all the chaos can teach us about healthy relationships.

MENTIONED IN THIS EP

Tips for becoming exclusive in dating

How to define the relationship

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Approachability is a skill you can learn. I'm chatting with Camille Virginia, author of The Offline Dating Method and founder of Master Offline Dating, who went from a socially anxious introvert to one of the leading voices on meeting people in real life. I LOVE her book and this convo was so helpful.

We get into:

• Where "high quality" like-minded single people are (and why you keep missing them)
• The limiting beliefs holding you back more than a lack of single people
• How to create a meaningful connection before you ever ask someone out
• Reading the signals that someone is open to being approached
• Sending signals that you're open to being approached

At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about how to safely and gracefully exit a date that's gone wrong.

CONNECT WITH CAMILLE

Camille's Instagram

Camille's website

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Enter to win Bellesa products! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally

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Download my free dating guides (texting, reflections, FAQ)

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In this episode, I'm getting into how to gain more certainty in dating by figuring out if you're actually compatible with someone before you're in too deep emotionally. I'm breaking down the three tiers of compatibility (the big stuff, the important stuff, and the emotional stuff), the five things to look for in the first month of getting to know someone, and three ways to actually start building compatibility early on instead of waiting around to "discover" it. I also do a quick gut check for anyone seeing someone right now, plus why chemistry alone can never carry a relationship long-term and how Johnny and I built our own little love languages over time. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman whose date ghosted her after they slept together on date two.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Download 90+ dating questions

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Quince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/talia

CONNECT WITH ME:

⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionally

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⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠

SUPPORT THE POD

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.