Decoding Attachment Styles

By Annalisa BahadurHealth & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement

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Typical duration
29 min
per episode

Based on Podcast App listening data

Decoding Attachment Styles episodes

March 31 What It's Like to be A Fearful Avoidant
My client decided to share what it's like for her to be a fearful avoidant attached person. We often think that only men are avoidant attached but what happens when it's a woman.
Client S shares how she thinks and feels when she gets overwhelmed and what it looks like to heal. She talks about what she is going through as she manages her emotions during a breakup and what she would do differently if/when she gets back with her partner.
Join us for this one plus hour chat .
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1 hr 19 min
March 15 How Secure Attached Breakup with Avoidant
Secure attached people don't beg or chase when an avoidant wants to breakup. They also know when to call it quits...and in this episode - that is what we are discussing.
We will discuss...
- a secure attached timeline to a deciding a breakup,
- how they communicate breaking up
- what they heal during breakup
- how they respond when avoidant circles back
🚶🏻‍♂️‍➡️Follow me on instagram for more insights into attachment styles.
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27 min
February 18 What Avoidant Do During And After Breakups
They act like they are over you the moment you breakup and that is crushing. But is that what they really feel?
There are lot of "experts" on what avoidant attached person feel during breakups. I have on average 70 avoidant attached people on speed dial and I am sharing what they all say they go through during breakups. It's astounding how they all have the same breakup story.
Leave a comment and let me know your thoughts on this podcast.

Much love,
Annalisa
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32 min
February 02 What to Look For In The First 90 Days Of Dating
I wish someone had told me this when I first started dating.
I made so many mistakes that landed me in some questionable relationships. The tips I share here has helped me choose a partner I enjoy life with.
I'm breaking down the red flags to look out for, the green ones to pay attention to, the pace to move at so you don't end up with someone who blindsides you.
This would help if you've been dating someone for a while or if you're now getting into the dating work.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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1 hr 21 min
January 29 Long Distance Romance With Avoidant Attached
What happens when you've been in a long distance romance with an avoidant attached person and it feels intense even if you've just met a handful of times? You want answers...
What is happening here?
Can this be anything more?
Why do they ghost me and return?
As Sarah shares her stories, we try to find her answers that would soothe her troubles heart.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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58 min
January 23 How To Move On After Being Blindsided - Pre-recorded Session
What happens when you have been friends for what seems like forever - you lose each other and find each other and in your older years decide to date but then to be blindsided by the avoidants pull away???
Sarah shares her journey through friendship to falling in love with her friend and then the heartbreaking pulling away that started a journey into examining her anxious attachment style and healing.
This is for you if you've ever been confused about your relationship going great and then suddenly coming to a halt.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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1 hr 5 min
January 19Breaking the Protest-Withdrawal Cycle Between Anxious-Avoidant Dynamic
Social media will tell you that anxious-avoidant relationships are doomed. That avoidants are narcissists. That anxious people are just codependent. I'm here to tell you that's oversimplified BS that keeps people stuck.
In this episode, I'm breaking down the anxious-avoidant dynamic with the nuance it actually deserves. After healing my own anxious attachment and being in a relationship with someone who's fearful-avoidant and has been actively working in therapy for over three years, I've learned that this isn't about finding a villain - it's about two nervous systems trying to feel safe in completely different ways.
We're covering:
The protest-withdrawal cycle: what it actually looks like and why it happens
4 damaging myths social media spreads about this dynamic (and why they're wrong)
What secure attachment would actually do in these moments - not as theory, but as a real, usable framework
How to hold both empathy AND boundaries at the same time
The real questions to ask yourself if you're in this cycle right now
Why "just stop chasing" and "just communicate better" aren't solutions -they're oversimplifications
This episode doesn't tell you to leave or stay. It gives you the tools to make that decision from a grounded, informed place. Because you deserve relationships that feel secure, and you're capable of creating that - but only if you're willing to do your own work.
Whether you're anxious, avoidant, or watching this pattern play out in your relationship, this one's for you.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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52 min
January 16 What To Do When A Partner Breaks-Up With You
Annalisa answers followers questions.

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20 min
January 15 Why Boundaries Work For Short Periods With Avoidants And How To Sustain them. Pre-recorded Session
What happens when someone who is working on their attachment style meets with an avoidant attached style person who may not be working on their healing - they set boundaries. How does that work out? Listen to this podcast as Sarah explains the hot and too heavy too soon dynamics of her relationship, setting boundaries and what happened next.
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1 hr 3 min
January 05 "My Ex Moved On Like I Never Existed." Let's talk about it...
You probably went through a breakup and was left wondering how your ex could appear like you never existed. This episode helps you to appreciate and understand what might be going on in the mind of your avoidant attached ex just after breakup - in case you're wondering -
how can they move on as quickly,
how can the stay away from texting you,
how can they date so soon...
And please don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. It sure helps this episode get to others who need it.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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30 min

About Decoding Attachment Styles

From the publisher's feed

I talk about the push and pull in relationships. The anxious spiraling. The person who needs to talk about everything right now and the person who would rather have the conversation sometime in…

2037.

I've lived some of these relationships myself. I used to be anxiously attached, and understanding my own attachment was part of how I learned to become more secure.

But somewhere along the way, I became just as fascinated by the other side.

Why do people do what they do?

I've been asking that question for as long as I can remember.

As a kid, I used to get into trouble for asking “why?” Apparently repeatedly asking adults for the reasoning behind their decisions wasn't considered charming.

But I genuinely wanted to understand. Why was this expected of me? Why did people behave the way they did? Why could two people experience exactly the same situation and walk away with completely different versions of what happened?

Decades later, I'm still asking those questions.

I've studied psychology and attachment, read the textbooks and research, observed thousands of conversations about relationships, worked with people struggling with these patterns, and lived plenty of them myself.

And one of the ways I came to understand attachment was to imagine that we were each handed a survival script.

There are four broad scripts: anxious, dismissive-avoidant, fearful-avoidant and secure.

The script influences what feels safe to us. What feels threatening. How much closeness we want. What we do when we're afraid. How we communicate, fight, pull away, pursue, ask for reassurance, protect our independence, set boundaries and love other people.

It doesn't explain everything about a person, and attachment isn't destiny.

But once you start recognizing these patterns, they're very difficult to unsee.

That's what this podcast is about.

I'm sharing what I've learned from psychology, research, observation, my work, and my own life - not so we can put everyone into four neat little boxes, but so we can understand each other better.

And then do something useful with that understanding.

Sometimes that means communicating differently. Sometimes it means setting a boundary. Sometimes it means working on yourself. Sometimes it means understanding why someone behaves the way they do without continuing to accept the behavior. And sometimes it means letting go of the outcome altogether.

So if you're fascinated by attachment, or you're simply trying to understand why your partner, ex, parent, sibling, friend, or even you keep doing something that makes absolutely no sense to you...

welcome.

This is exactly what we're going to talk about.