Many of us believe that holding an avoidant accountable means talking to them like they are an idiot and we are their parent. How many of us liked it when our parents, or anyone in authority held us accountable? No one! We revelled and worse, you ignore and avoided as much as we could. Yes- my anxious attached friends. Even you did that.

Most people are online telling us that we need to hold avoidant attached persons accountable and that is true. However, what we think is "holding them accountable" is actually coming across to them as "control."

Let's sort out this messy issue but highlight what we think is an ultimatum, what the avoidant hears and how we can do "accountability" right.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.

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At first, he was open to communicating about their needs. He seemed keen on trying to be better. They were great together - both feeling safe to be vulnerable for the first time, then something changed.  

He started to feel pressured and needed space. She gave him that space only to have a conversation later that confused her. 

Join me as I discussed with Sarah what are some of the red flags she might be missing right now and how she can navigate working with someone she is no longer in a relationship with but also hopes to get back together with...someday. 

What does she need to do differently should they get back together. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.

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Ever feels like your avoidant partner never wants to do anything during the holidays? 

Avoidant attached persons can have a love/hate relationship with holidays and it had everything to do with their attachment styles. 

As an anxious attached partner, you probably love the holidays - getting the perfect presents, planning get-togethers and meals, involving your partner in everything... While on the other hand, your avoidant partner wants to do anything (crawl on a hole) but be a part of what they see as too much. 

This episodes dives into why the avoidant attached partner wants to hide from the holidays, your friends and most of their own people. We share five things avoidant attached persons don't want during the holidays and what you can do to help them feel more relaxed - and get them involved. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.

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She thought everything was fine. Then, he dropped a bombshell/ “I'm not sure I'm in love with you anymore.”

Trying to be understanding, she gave him an easy out. She said, “It's okay if we need to break up.”

But he wouldn't take it. He was confused. He wanted to keep trying.

And just like that, they were trapped in a exhausting cycle of push-and-pull-a classic anxious-avoidant trap-until he finally ended it for good.

Now, she's left heartbroken and overthinking everything. She's asking all the classic questions:

• How do I get over a breakup when I still have feelings?
• What does it mean when he says he loves me but isn't in love with me?
• Why do I keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners?
• Is there any chance of getting back together?

If this story hits home, you're not alone. These painful patterns often point directly to our attachment styles.

In this recorded session, we sit down with Sarah to understand her anxious attachment style and how it showed up in her relationship. We'll break down-

• The hidden signs of an anxious attachment style.
• How fear of abandonment can accidentally sabotage your love life.
• Practical steps for healing a broken heart and creating secure attachment.
• How to stop the cycle of on-again, off-again relationships and learn how to move forward for good.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.

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Is your heart aching for an avoidant ex? This episode is your essential guide to navigating this incredibly painful and confusing situation. We cut through the generic advice to give you an attachment-based framework for what to do next.

In this episode, you will learn-

• The Avoidant Mindset - What is really going on in their head post-breakup? (It's not what you think).
• The Power of Secure Energy - How to become the one thing an avoidant is subconsciously drawn to.
• Strategic Communication - What to text (and what NEVER to text) to reopen the door without scaring them off.
• The Foundation of All Reconciliation - Why your personal healing is the non-negotiable first step to getting them back.

If you're ready to trade your anxiety for a clear, empowered plan, this episode is for you.

Subscribe and listen now!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.

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Today we dive into the mind of an avoidant- 

- what makes them shut down? 

- what are the thinking when they shut down? 

- what are the feeling when they have the urge to run away or shut down? 

- why do they walk away? 

And what you and your partner can do to save your relationship. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.

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You’re doing “the talk wrong and I’ll help you fix it.

First, think - an avoidant brain is not a secure brain. You can’t talk to it like it’s an emotionally healthy brain.

We think we have to soft talk an avoidant but they are really looking at you thinking - “ I got this exactly where I want it.”

I spoke kindly and softy for decades and that got me nothing but breadcrumbs and disrespect.

ps: these tips are only for the emotionally immature.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.

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It can be intoxicating when two avoidants meet. There is chemistry and calm. But what happens when there is too much chemistry and calm for two people who are used to chaos? They may become bored and distant until there is a disconnect. And what happens after the disconnect? One or both can flip into their anxious state and seek reasons to stay connected- like a business venture on this case. 

This episode highlight how the brain works in the background to cause us to self-sabotage long before the relationship has a chance. We also talk about the red flags you don’t want to miss during the first meetup. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.

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Sarah felt seen and validated until things turned for the worse with her avoidant attached partner. He then got up and left. 

You will see yourself in her story? You will learn from this coaching session how to navigate feelings the confusion and feeling of betrayal after being love bombed and discarded. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.

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It wasn’t easy for her , but Sarah felt like she had no choice but to shut herself away or withdraw  from the demands and overwhelm - even if that sometimes came from her children. 

In this episode, Sarah tells what happens in the mind of a avoidant when they are going through their deactivation and what they think during this time. 

She also shares how she healed after her partner abandoned her and their children, and how she deals with romantic relationships now. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.

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