Divorce Happens

Divorce Happens

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Divorce Happens episodes

  • Why a Password Keeper Might Save Your Sanity During Divorce with Professional Organizer Leslie Kilgour

    Divorce comes with emotional weight—but also with a mountain of paperwork. In this episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell is joined by professional organizer Leslie Kilgour from Get It Straight to break down how you can stay sane and on top of your life during divorce by staying organized. From legal documents to shared passwords to medical receipts, Leslie shares practical tips for managing it all.

    Whether you're splitting bills, co-parenting, or setting up new accounts, Leslie explains how to get a grip on the paperwork chaos. She offers a roadmap for managing one month at a time, using password keeper apps, and simplifying physical mail and digital storage. Her wisdom doesn’t just apply to divorce—it’s useful in all major life transitions. Organization, Leslie says, isn’t about perfection—it’s about removing friction during an already stressful time.

    Plus, Leslie reminds listeners of the importance of empathy. If it’s safe and possible, remember that you once loved your partner. Communication and organization together can ease tension, save you thousands in legal fees, and create a path toward healing. If the paperwork is too much to tackle alone, hiring an organizer—even virtually—can be a game changer.

    24 min
  • The Truth About Online Divorce with Divorce.com CEO Liz Pharo

    What if you could get divorced online, affordably, without unnecessary trauma—and move on with your life faster? In this eye-opening episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Liz Pharo, CEO of Divorce.com, to talk about disrupting the traditional (and expensive) divorce system. Liz shares how Divorce.com is making divorce simpler, faster, and more empowering—especially for people who feel stuck financially or emotionally.

    From breaking down the difference between kitchen table divorces, mediation, and litigation, to explaining how Divorce.com walks you through a custom questionnaire and files your paperwork for you, this episode is packed with real, accessible support. Olivia and Liz also dive into the emotional side of divorce, the impact on families, and how creating a smoother, less aggressive process actually leads to better co-parenting and post-divorce recovery.

    If you're in the early stages of divorce and don’t know where to turn—or if you just want to avoid spending $20,000+ on legal fees—this conversation will change how you see your options. Liz also shares wise words for anyone navigating the hard days: you will get through this. Tune in, take notes, and know you are not alone.

    13 min
  • How Listening Can Help You Heal After Divorce with Erin Snow, founder of Seacoast Listening Lounge

    In this heartfelt episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with Erin Snow, founder of Seacoast Listening Lounge and longtime advocate for women navigating divorce. Erin shares how her work as a legal professional in family law and her own personal divorce journey led her to create a safe, confidential, and judgment-free space for people who need to be truly heard. Her listening sessions are not therapy—they're something just as vital: compassionate, intentional human connection.

    Erin and Olivia dive into the emotional weight of not feeling heard during divorce, and how the ability to speak without fear or judgment can be transformational. Erin shares why active listening is a powerful tool in emotional recovery, why it’s often missing in divorce conversations, and how listening with empathy can shift everything. From "verbal smash sessions" to quiet, meditative listening spaces, Erin explains how every conversation is shaped by the individual’s needs in that moment.

    If you’ve ever felt alone, overwhelmed, or unsure who you can talk to during a life transition, this episode is a must-listen. Erin reminds us that healing starts when we feel safe enough to share—and that we all deserve to feel supported, seen, and understood.

    Learn more about Erin and Seacoast Listening Lounge: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/seacoast-listening-lounge

    Transcription: Divorce Happens Podcast with Erin Snow

    Olivia Howell: Hello, hello, and welcome back to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we support you before, during, and after divorce with education, inspiration, and a little bit of laughter. Because, as we know, divorce happens—and then you start fresh. Today, we're here with one of our Fresh Starts experts, Erin Snow. Erin, can you tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do?

    Erin Snow: Hi Olivia, thank you so much for having me! I’m really excited to be on the podcast. I’m Erin Snow, and I live in Seacoast, New Hampshire. I own Seacoast Listening Lounge, which is both an event space and a professional listening service for women who are looking to share their story in a safe and confidential space without judgment.

    Olivia Howell: I love that! When Erin registered to be a Fresh Starts expert, we were like, "What is this? We’ve never heard of this before." I’m so excited to be showcasing you to the world because I love what you do. You have a long background in divorce advocacy and related areas. Let’s talk about the importance of listening during a divorce. Because often, people going through a divorce feel like nobody's listening to them. Why is active listening so important during that time?

    Erin Snow: I can speak to this on both a professional and personal level. I worked in family law for over 16 years with New Hampshire Legal Assistance, handling high-conflict divorce, parenting, and protective order cases for domestic violence, stalking, and sexual assault survivors. Then I went through my own divorce. One of the reasons I started Seacoast Listening Lounge was because I saw a real lack of space where people could be heard—truly listened to—without judgment.

    People going through divorce are under emotional and financial stress. You’re worrying about yourself, your kids, and how others will react. Having a space to just let it all out opens the valve. If we don’t create space to release that pressure, it builds up and becomes unmanageable. Empathetic listening doesn’t have to be hard, but it does require intention. It’s simply about letting someone know: “I’m here for you, no matter what you want to say.”

    Erin Snow: When I was a paralegal, clients would come in, and I’d have a specific agenda—like calculating child support—but inevitably, they’d veer off into other topics. And instead of rushing to redirect, I learned to ask: What’s really going on here? Are they worried about money, about their kids? Sometimes you have to pause and create space for the person to speak before focusing on logistics.

    Olivia Howell: Right, and I think so many people have never even been asked, "How do you want me to listen to you today?"

    Erin Snow: Exactly. Creating that safe space can change everything. And personally, I know what it feels like to have no one to talk to. I didn’t share anything about my divorce—not even with friends. Most people didn’t know until they saw a U-Haul in my driveway. I was afraid of judgment, of how others would react. And because I had kids, I was especially careful about what I shared. My friends were also the parents of my kids’ friends. It felt too risky.

    Olivia Howell: Yes, it’s so isolating. I remember walking around thinking, “Divorce is all I’m thinking about, but it’s the one thing I can’t talk about with anyone here.”

    Erin Snow: That’s exactly it. You feel like you’re carrying this huge thing alone. And the decision to get divorced doesn’t come lightly. You’ve already agonized over it. Then you have to explain yourself to people who weren’t in your shoes—and they question you. “What about the kids?” “Do you want to spend holidays alone?” It makes you second-guess yourself all over again.

    That’s why active listening matters so much. A dismissive or judgmental reaction can shut someone down completely and impact how they move forward. It’s a lot of responsibility, but being a good friend or support person is really just about saying: “I’m here for you. I’m not judging you. What do you need?”

    Olivia Howell: I love all of that so much. I also want to touch on the importance of using your voice again. Divorce can make you feel like you’ve lost your voice—like The Little Mermaid. But having a safe place to speak freely helps build your confidence back.

    Erin Snow: Yes, and that’s part of why I created the Listening Lounge. I offer one-on-one sessions that are completely confidential. I want to be clear—this is not therapy. I’m not a therapist. I don’t diagnose or try to fix anything. I’m just here to listen. For some people, therapy feels too intimidating or solution-focused during divorce. This is different. This is simply a safe place to talk.

    Olivia Howell: That’s such an important distinction. Therapy can be intimidating, especially during divorce. And legally, therapists’ notes can be subpoenaed in court—people don’t always realize that.

    Erin Snow: Exactly. Especially in high-conflict or domestic violence-related cases, therapy can unfortunately be used as a weapon. Clients are afraid of being labeled. With me, there are no notes, no diagnoses—just listening. You can say what you need to say and leave it there. I even offer a "verbal smash" session for those who just need to vent and rage in a safe space, and more contemplative sessions for quiet reflection or decision-making.

    Olivia Howell: I love that. And this can be done virtually, right?

    Erin Snow: Yes! While I do have a beautiful office space in Seacoast New Hampshire, my services are fully virtual. So whether you’re at home or away, you can log in and book a session. It’s meant to be accessible and supportive—no matter what you’re going through.

    Olivia Howell: That’s incredible. And you’re available to celebrate the good moments too! Not everyone has someone to share good news with, especially if it’s complicated. Like getting pregnant when your sister is struggling with fertility, or landing a new job when your friend just lost theirs. You’re here to hold space for all of it.

    Erin Snow: Yes, exactly. You can book a session right through my website. I even offer free consultations if you’re curious but not sure it’s for you.

    Olivia Howell: Amazing. Erin, if someone is listening and going through a divorce, what’s one piece of encouragement you would share with them?

    Erin Snow: I always go back to something my mom used to say: “It’s temporary.” It may feel impossible right now, but you will get through this. Whether or not you have people in your life right now, there are services like Fresh Starts and spaces like mine. You’re not alone. You are not broken. There are people ready to support you without judgment. So remember—it’s temporary. And you don’t have to walk this path alone.

    Olivia Howell: I love that so much. You can find all of Erin’s info in the show notes. Thank you for launching this incredible business and for being a part of Fresh Starts. We appreciate you!

    Erin Snow: Thank you so much. I’m so happy to be here.

    🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:

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    📬 Newsletter: https://divorceguide.substack.com/

    19 min
  • 3 Things I Learned from My Divorce with writer Kelly McMasters

    In this heartfelt and poetic episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell sits down with writer, professor, and single mom Kelly McMasters to explore the deep emotional work of divorce—and the self-discovery that follows. Kelly shares powerful quotes that helped anchor her through her own experience, including words from poets like Marie Howe and Joy Harjo. She explains how poetry offered moments of stillness, truth, and community when everything else felt uncertain.

    Kelly opens up about the emotional weight of letting go of fantasies, expectations, and the version of love she once believed in. Together, she and Olivia reflect on how divorce often brings us back to childhood, revealing the roots of our beliefs about love, safety, and self-worth. Kelly also discusses her acclaimed book The Leaving Season, and how writing it helped her reclaim her story—not just as a divorcée, but as a mother, artist, and woman rebuilding home from the ground up.

    This episode is a celebration of growth, honesty, and the surprising beauty of starting over. If you’re navigating the messy middle of divorce—or simply seeking insight into how we piece ourselves back together—you’ll walk away from this conversation feeling seen, supported, and inspired.

    Transcription:

    Olivia Howell: Hello, hello! Welcome back to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we support you before, during, and after divorce—with education, inspiration, and of course, a little bit of laughter. Because divorce happens, and then you start fresh. Today, I’m here with our friend Kelly. Kelly, who are you? What do you do? Where are you from?

    Kelly McMasters: Hi! I’m Kelly McMasters. I'm a mom, a writer, a professor—and I’m divorced.

    Olivia: I love that. One of our favorite things to do on this podcast is talk to people who’ve gone through divorce about what they’ve learned. I truly believe divorce is one of the most intense learning environments we’ll ever experience. So, Kelly, what were three things you learned from your divorce?

    Kelly: I love that you used the word “environment,” because divorce really does have these amorphous borders—it’s all-encompassing. One thing I learned is how important it is to find small anchors. For me, poetry was one of those anchors. I was at a reading recently and in walked this famous poet—wild hair and all—and I realized it was Marie Howe. Her poetry helped me get through my divorce. I even used one of her lines to open my book:

    “You think this happened only once—and long ago?”

    That line has so many meanings, but to me, it means that in the moment of deep grief, it feels like you are completely alone—that no one else could understand. But the truth is, you are not alone. It’s a reminder to reach out in those dark moments.

    Another quote that helped me is from Willa Cather’s The Professor's House:

    “The heart of another is a dark forest, always, no matter how close it has been to one’s own.”

    That quote reminded me that I had to let go of the fantasy. Let go of what I thought was true. That was the hardest part—letting go of expectations, hopes, and dreams so I could live in the real world again. Once I did that, everything shifted.

    Olivia: Can you read that first quote again?

    Kelly: “You think this happened only once—and long ago?”

    Olivia: I love that so much. That resonates deeply with me. When you go through divorce, it often brings you back to who you were as a child. You start realizing that your definitions of love were formed way before your marriage. For me, it was even more of a personal rediscovery than motherhood. I had to uncover and heal the pieces of me that stayed in a marriage that wasn’t loving.

    Kelly: Absolutely. That really resonates. Another poem that helped me is by Joy Harjo, called “Memory Sack.” It has three short lines:

    “With our pack of memories / long slack on our backs / we venture into the circle.”

    That helped me see divorce not as isolation but as entering into a new community.

    Olivia: Yes! I get that completely.

    Kelly: And Olivia, thank you for the work you do—bringing people together, creating this space. I didn’t have that when I was going through it. That’s one of the reasons I wrote The Leaving Season. Now, we have communities online, in bookshops, and through amazing authors like Amy Shearn, Maggie Smith, and more who are reshaping how we talk about divorce.

    Olivia: When did you get divorced?

    Kelly: Officially, in 2016. But I left in 2013.

    Olivia: I feel like the last five years have completely changed the narrative around divorce. When I got divorced in 2019, there weren’t many books out there. Now, the shelves are full—and I love it. These books are like spellbooks for finding yourself again. And I’m so excited to have interviewed many of those authors, with more to come. Tell us about The Leaving Season.

    Kelly: I didn’t want it to be “just a divorce book.” At the time, divorce books were shoved into this little corner of the self-help shelf. But divorce books are not just about divorce—they’re about transformation. The Leaving Season is a spellbook, too. It’s about finding myself as a woman, a mother, a single parent. It’s about returning to childhood, to those early memories where we first learn what love and fear feel like. Home is the first place we’re loved, and it’s the first place we’re socialized. If we don’t understand our blueprint, we can’t break free from it. Writing this book was my way of reclaiming that.

    Olivia: Yes, 100%. And Kelly’s links will be in the show notes. The Leaving Season is on my bookshelf—it’s one of my favorites. You are brilliant, Kelly, and as a fellow Long Islander, we give you major props here at Fresh Starts. Thank you for your honesty and for being so comfortable in your own skin, so other women can find theirs too.

    Kelly: Thank you so much. It was great to be here.

    12 min
  • How to Protect Your Home (and Sanity) During Divorce with Mortgage Expert Matthew DiBrino

    In this powerful episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell sits down with former divorce attorney and current mortgage expert Matthew DiBrino to unpack one of the most stressful parts of divorce: what to do about the house. With years of legal experience and now co-owner of High Quality Mortgage, Matthew brings a rare and compassionate dual perspective to navigating real estate during separation.

    From understanding your mortgage options to knowing when and how to get pre-approved, Matthew offers actionable advice for anyone wondering what happens to their home during a divorce. He breaks down common scenarios like buyouts, refinancing, and why getting a mortgage pre-approval early in the process can save you time, money, and emotional stress.

    Whether you're in the middle of a divorce or planning for a fresh start, this episode will help you feel more empowered and informed about one of the biggest assets involved in a separation. Plus, Matthew shares encouragement, real-life examples, and a refreshing approach to supporting clients as whole people—not just numbers on paper.

    Learn more about Matthew DiBrino on his Fresh Starts profile: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/high-quality-mortgage-llc

    Divorce Happens Podcast: Episode Transcript with Matthew DiBrino

    Olivia Howell (Host): Hello, hello! Welcome back to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we support you before, during, and after divorce with education, inspiration, and a little bit of laughter—because as we know, divorce happens, and then you start fresh. Today we’re here with one of our Fresh Starts experts, talking about a very important topic. Matthew, can you tell us who you are and what you do?

    Matthew D. DiBrino: Sure! Hi, my name is Matthew DiBrino. I'm a former practicing divorce attorney. I began my legal journey in 1999, clerking for the Honorable Thomas F. Brogan in Passaic County, who was then in the Family Division. After that, I received incredible training from one of the best attorneys I know, Jose Bastyr in Paterson, New Jersey. I worked in divorce law for quite some time until about 10 years ago, when I left the practice and opened High Quality Mortgage. I haven’t practiced law in a decade, but I still work closely with divorce attorneys and their clients.

    I also went through a divorce myself. And something to note—one of my mentors was Joseph Noda, one of the founders of the collaborative divorce process. That approach really focuses on making the process less contentious and more amicable.

    Olivia: Absolutely. There’s really nobody better to talk to about this than you. When I went through my divorce, owning a home with my ex-husband brought up a lot of questions. The house is often the number one concern when people start considering separation. Let’s talk about that. What’s the first step if you have a mortgage and you’re starting the divorce process, but don’t know what you’re going to do with the home?

    Matthew: Great question. The first thing you want to do is evaluate your options, which starts with getting a fair market appraisal of the home. That’s going to give you clarity. From there, you typically have three options:

    1. Sell the home and split the proceeds (though that can be adjusted depending on the divorce terms).
    2. One party buys out the other’s equity.
    3. Refinance to remove one party from the mortgage and deed.

    Let’s say there’s $100,000 in equity—$400,000 home value, $300,000 mortgage. That means each party is entitled to $50,000. If one spouse is buying out the other, they’d need to provide that amount to get them off the mortgage and deed.

    The issue we often see is that agreements are made assuming one party can refinance—but later they find out they can’t qualify. I’d love to see pre-approvals happen much earlier—during mediation or early settlement panels—so that everyone knows what’s actually possible.

    Olivia: That makes so much sense. And you can get pre-approved before you’ve even talked about divorce with your spouse, right?

    Matthew: Yes, absolutely. Pre-approval depends on verifying income and pulling credit, which we can do independently from the spouse. Whether you’re salaried or self-employed affects how we calculate usable income. The only complication early on might be factoring in child support or alimony, if that will be a part of your income.

    Olivia: So it’s better to get that clarity up front, even quietly, so you can make informed decisions.

    Matthew: Exactly. It saves time, money, and emotional energy. And it gives both parties a realistic view of what their future can look like.

    Olivia: I know when I refinanced, my ex was really kind and allowed me to keep the house under my own income. But it was stressful—especially as a business owner. I didn’t even know I needed a mortgage person when going through divorce. Can you talk about why working with a mortgage lender you trust is so important?

    Matthew: Anytime you're dealing with finances, working with someone transparent and communicative is crucial. In divorce, emotions run high, and the house symbolizes your marriage, your family, and your past. You want someone who not only understands the numbers but also the emotional weight behind them. I always encouraged couples to figure things out together when possible—because once a judge is involved, you lose control.

    Olivia: Right. That extra layer of support makes a big difference.

    Matthew: Absolutely. Knowing whether a refinance or buyout is even possible can shift the entire negotiation. Post-divorce, it’s also important to ensure both parties can move forward with financial stability. If you're the one being bought out, you still need to be able to qualify for your own home later. And yes, child support or alimony can be qualifying income—but it has to continue for at least three years to count.

    Olivia: So timing is everything.

    Matthew: Exactly. If you wait too long, like when child support is ending soon, it may not help you qualify. That’s why planning early matters.

    Olivia: And if someone wants to build wealth post-divorce, like buying a second home or investing?

    Matthew: We work with a lot of clients on that. Maybe you’re getting bought out—this could be an opportunity to buy a two-family home, live in it for a year, and then use rental income to buy another. It’s about strategy and looking forward.

    Olivia: Love that. So when someone calls you in the early stages of divorce, what do they say?

    Matthew: Most say, “I’m getting divorced, and I want to understand my options.” Usually, they’ve spoken to an attorney and are trying to figure out buyouts, equity, or refinancing. We give a solid estimate of home value and walk through what’s possible.

    One of the biggest mistakes I see is people overextending themselves to stay attached to the marital home. That emotional pull can cause long-term financial strain. If you can let go of that and think clearly, you’re more likely to set yourself up for success.

    Olivia: So true. And where can people work with you?

    Matthew: I co-own High Quality Mortgage (HQM Loans) in Fairfield, New Jersey. We’ve been in business for 10 years and are licensed in New Jersey, Florida, and North Carolina. We started with two laptops and a rented table, and now we’re one of the top mortgage companies in the state. Our motto: treat people like friends and family.

    Olivia: I love that. Before we wrap—what would you say to someone going through a divorce who feels overwhelmed?

    Matthew: You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Discomfort is part of growth. Sit with the feelings, acknowledge them, and when you can accept what’s happening, you’ll be more open to what’s possible next. Your fresh start is waiting.

    Olivia: Beautiful. We’re so lucky to have you as a Fresh Starts Expert. If you’re in NJ, FL, or NC, Matthew’s info is in the show notes. Thank you, Matthew!

    Matthew: Thank you, Olivia. It was a pleasure!

    17 min
  • 3 Things I Learned from My Divorce with Grieve Leave Founder Rebecca Feinglos

    In this powerful episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with grief support specialist and founder of Grieve Leave, Rebecca Feinglos, to explore the layered emotions and life shifts that come with divorce. Together, they dive deep into the intersection of grief and relationship loss, revealing how losing a parent can shape how we love—and leave. Rebecca shares her own story of heartbreak and healing, highlighting the pivotal moment she realized she didn’t have to normalize unhealthy behavior in her marriage.

    Rebecca opens up about the three biggest lessons she learned through divorce: that you are never truly stuck, that self-discovery is a vital part of the healing process, and that it’s okay to feel both grief and freedom at the same time. She emphasizes the importance of tuning into your gut, even when the world around you tells you to stay. Her insights remind listeners that grief doesn’t just follow death—it can show up in endings of all kinds, and it deserves time, space, and care.

    Rebecca Feinglos (pronounced fine-gloss) is a certified grief support specialist, startup founder, and former policy advisor who launched Grieve Leave in 2021 after experiencing profound personal loss, including the deaths of both parents and a difficult divorce. Grieve Leave has since grown into a global movement, reaching over 30,000 people and encouraging intentional time for grieving through community, resources, and humor. Based between North Carolina and Montreal, Rebecca is a nationally recognized voice in grief advocacy, featured in TIME, HuffPost, and ELLE, and she's on a mission to make the world more grief-informed—one honest conversation at a time.

    Transcript – Divorce Happens with Grieve Leave Founder Rebecca Feinglos

    Olivia: Welcome back to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we support you before, during, and after divorce with education, inspiration, and a little bit of laughter—because as we know, divorce happens, and then you start fresh. Today, I'm joined by someone very special, someone I first connected with years ago when we were both building our platforms. We share a love of grief work, Jewish family roots, and yes—even puppets. Rebecca, I'm so glad you're here. Can you introduce yourself?

    Rebecca Feinglos: Thanks, Olivia. I'm so excited to be here. I'm Rebecca Feinglos, the founder of Grieve Leave, an organization that focuses on grief, loss, and helping people navigate all types of grief—not just death. As someone who lost both of my parents before the age of 30 and then went through a divorce, I understand how grief can manifest in many forms. At Grieve Leave, we talk about grief that stems from life transitions like divorce, and we encourage people to take intentional time to process those experiences.

    Olivia: I love that. It’s so important to normalize grief beyond death. As you know, I’m also happily divorced, but the grief still shows up sometimes. With that in mind, I’d love to know—what are the three biggest things you learned from your divorce?

    Rebecca: First, you are not stuck. I felt stuck for so long in a life I thought I wanted. I had invested years into the relationship and told myself I had to make it work because of that. But it took losing both of my parents to realize that I wasn’t stuck—that I could make a different choice. And I did. I separated from my ex at 31 and haven’t looked back.

    Olivia: That’s powerful. Did your parents know him?

    Rebecca: My mom died when I was very young, so she never met him. But my dad did. He started seeing through the cracks of our relationship before I fully admitted what was happening. His concern and support were huge for me. After he passed, one of the questions my therapist asked was, “Would your dad support you in leaving?” And my answer was a resounding yes. That gave me clarity. It was heartbreaking, but I knew I had to break the cycle.

    Olivia: That makes so much sense. I know people who stay in relationships because they feel like they’re honoring a deceased parent’s wishes. I imagine it must be hard dating again, knowing your new partner will never meet your dad.

    Rebecca: It was really hard at first. My dad was my best friend, my moral compass. But I’ve learned that my partner can still get to know him—through me. Through my stories, my values, and who I am. That’s the vulnerability part. It’s not easy, but it’s beautiful too.

    Olivia: What’s the second big thing you learned from your divorce?

    Rebecca: You don’t have to be yelled at all the time. That might sound blunt, but it's true. I normalized a lot of unhealthy behavior because I thought that was just what marriage was. I told myself, “This is the price you pay for love.” But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can have peace. I didn’t realize how tense I was until I experienced true calm after he left the house for a trip. I felt safe. That moment made everything click.

    Olivia: That resonates so deeply. We justify so much, especially as empaths and nurturers. What’s your third big takeaway?

    Rebecca: That no matter how hard you work, if it’s not the right fit, it’s not the right fit. Both of us worked hard, went to therapy, did all the things. But it wasn’t “better enough.” That was hard to admit. I wanted kids, but I didn’t feel safe enough in the relationship to bring kids into it. That’s when I realized—this isn’t about love or effort. We just weren’t aligned.

    Olivia: That’s so true. I always say, the person you have kids with may not be the person you raise them with. Choosing yourself is hard, but necessary.

    Rebecca: Absolutely. And I’ve never felt more aligned or more like myself. Losing my parents forced me to ask who I am at my core. And if something didn’t align with that—including my marriage—it had to go.

    Olivia: Do you think there’s a freedom in not having your parents around when choosing a partner?

    Rebecca: As bittersweet as it sounds, yes. There’s a brutal freedom. I often joke that I can date whoever I want and say whatever I want—because there’s no one left to disappoint. Of course, I still think about my parents all the time. But there’s a freedom in that grief.

    Olivia: I love that. Before we wrap up, what words of encouragement would you offer someone going through a divorce right now?

    Rebecca: Get quiet. Sit somewhere peaceful and ask yourself what your gut is telling you. Your gut knows whether to stay or go. You already have the answer—you just have to give yourself the space to hear it. Trust yourself.

    Olivia: Beautiful. Where can people find you?

    Rebecca: You can find me at grieveleave.com, on Instagram @grieveleave, and on TikTok and Facebook too. And don’t forget to check out our podcast Griefe'd Up—Season One is out now, and Season Two is coming soon!

    Olivia: Thank you so much, Rebecca. And thank you to everyone listening. We’ll see you next time on Divorce Happens.

    Make sure to check out Fresh Starts Registry: the first and only divorce registry and resource platform, and the fastest growing network of divorce professionals: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 

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    28 min
  • Clearing Emotional Baggage After Divorce with Emotion & Body Code Practitioner Candice Erickson-Perham

    Divorce is more than just a legal process—it’s an emotional and energetic journey that can leave you feeling drained, disconnected, and weighed down by the past. In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell sits down with Candice Erickson-Perham, an energy healer and Fresh Starts Expert, to explore how Emotion Code and Body Code can help release the emotional baggage that divorce leaves behind. From identifying trapped emotions to clearing energetic cords between you and your ex, Candice explains how energy work provides real relief from stress, anxiety, and even physical pain during life transitions.

    Olivia and Candice dive into the powerful connection between emotional and physical health, revealing how trapped emotions can manifest as headaches, tension, and even long-term stress-related illnesses. Candice explains how she works with clients to release stored trauma—whether from the divorce itself or past experiences that are resurfacing. She also shares insights on how energy work can help children navigate the emotional impact of divorce, offering a holistic approach to healing for the entire family.

    If you're struggling to move forward after divorce, feeling stuck in emotional pain, or curious about how energy healing can support your fresh start, this episode is for you. Candice shares practical tools, real-life client experiences, and information about her Heart Wall Release Package, designed specifically to help those recovering from heartbreak and major life changes. Tune in to discover how clearing emotional blockages can bring clarity, lightness, and a renewed sense of self after divorce.

    Learn more about Candice on her Fresh Starts profile: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/indiglow-soul

    Make sure to check out Fresh Starts Registry: the first and only divorce registry and resource platform, and the fastest growing network of divorce professionals: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 

    Divorce Happens on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 

    Divorce Guide Newsletter: https://divorceguide.substack.com/

    Transcription:

    Introduction

    Olivia Howell: Hello, hello! Welcome back to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we support you with education, information, and a little bit of laughter—because as we know, divorce happens, and then you start fresh. Today, we’re here with one of our wonderful Fresh Starts experts, Candice. Candice, can you tell us about what you do?

    Candice: Sure! First, thank you for having me on. I’m very excited to be here. I know that divorce happens, and part of what I do is energy healing. Through energy healing, we can help lessen the burden that divorce brings to individuals.

    What is Emotion Code & Body Code?

    Olivia: I love that! I’ve personally done a lot of work with you and attended many of your events. I always say you’re the closest thing to a real-life good witch! Before we dive into energy healing, you do something very specific—what is Emotion Code and Body Code?

    Candice: Great question. Emotion Code is a modality that helps identify and release emotions that have become trapped in the body. As we go through life, we experience trauma and life events, and sometimes, we don’t fully process our feelings around them. These emotions can become stuck, sometimes even inherited from past generations. Through Emotion Code, we can identify and release these trapped emotions quickly and easily, creating an energetic shift that many people feel almost immediately.

    Olivia: That’s incredible. I’ve done it myself, and even my kids have joined in sessions with you! When we go through major life changes like divorce, we don’t just carry new emotional baggage—we carry a lifetime of it. Can you explain the connection between our emotional and spiritual baggage and how it manifests physically?

    How Emotional Baggage Manifests in the Body

    Candice: Absolutely. Let’s start with the physical side. I actually came to Emotion Code because of physical pain I was experiencing. Divorce is a heavy time in life, and that emotional weight often shows up in the body—tight shoulders, tension headaches, migraines, stomach issues. When we hold onto unprocessed emotions, our body carries that burden, sometimes leading to chronic pain or illness.

    Olivia: That makes so much sense.

    Candice: On the spiritual side, we also form energetic cords with people—especially those we love or have been deeply connected to. These cords can be positive, but when a relationship ends or turns toxic, those cords can become draining and even cause discomfort or illness. Through Body Code work, we can identify and clear these connections when they are no longer serving us.

    Olivia: I love that perspective. We carry so much, often without realizing it! So, what can people do to start releasing this baggage?

    How Energy Healing Works

    Candice: This is where energy work comes in. I work with the subconscious mind, using muscle testing and a pendulum to identify what emotions are trapped, when they got trapped, and where they are in the body. Then, we release that energy using a simple but powerful technique over the governing meridian—starting at the lip and swiping over the head and spine. It’s gentle but highly effective, and most people feel lighter and brighter after a session.

    Olivia: It’s truly magic. Watching you use your pendulum is mesmerizing—it’s almost meditative! For someone listening and thinking, "I need this!"—how can they work with you?

    Candice: Everything I do is remote, so sessions are conducted over Zoom. You can visit my website to learn more and book a session. There are plenty of testimonials there, too. I also offer a special Heart Wall Release Package, which typically takes 3-5 sessions to fully clear emotional barriers that people build up over time.

    Heart Wall Release & Healing Post-Divorce

    Olivia: Can you explain more about the Heart Wall Release and why it’s so important for people going through divorce?

    Candice: Yes! Our Heart Wall is an energetic barrier we unconsciously build to protect ourselves from emotional pain. Over time, it can become so thick that it blocks love, connection, and joy. In people going through divorce, I often see this manifest as high blood pressure, migraines, anxiety, or even physical tightness in the chest. Through my Heart Wall Release Package, we gently take down that wall layer by layer, allowing healing to happen at a deeper level.

    Olivia: That makes so much sense. You also have a podcast, right?

    Candice: Yes! My podcast is called Healers with Humor, where my co-host and I talk about all things energy, healing, and self-care—with a little laughter along the way. Healing can feel heavy, but we believe it should also be light and joyful!

    Healing for Parents & Children

    Olivia: Something I love about you is how authentic you are. You don’t just say, “I can heal you” without acknowledging your own journey. You’ve done the work yourself, and that’s why people trust you. If someone is listening and going through a divorce, what words of encouragement would you share with them?

    Candice: You don’t have to do this alone. Divorce can feel incredibly isolating, but there is a community of support out there. Finding your people—whether it’s healers, friends, or therapists—makes all the difference. Also, if you have children, remember that your healing benefits them, too. Even if they don’t do energy healing themselves, watching you take care of your emotional wellness sets a powerful example.

    Olivia: I love that. My kids have even picked up on energy work just from being around it! Thank you, Candice, for everything you do. Your work is life-changing, and we’re so lucky to have you in the Fresh Starts community. We’ll include all your links in the show notes. Thank you for being here!

    Candice: Thank you so much for having me!

    12 min
  • Why Everyone Should Work with a Psychic During Divorce with Psychic Julee Roth

    Divorce is one of life’s biggest transitions, filled with uncertainty, emotional upheaval, and endless questions about what comes next. In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with Julee Roth, a gifted psychic, medium, and aura reader, to discuss how working with a psychic during and after divorce can be a powerful tool for healing and clarity. They explore how intuitive guidance can help individuals uncover their deepest emotional blocks, release fears, and move forward with a sense of peace and purpose. Whether you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or simply looking for direction, Julee shares how a psychic reading can offer immediate relief, alignment, and reassurance.

    Julee explains that during a reading, she taps into a person’s energy, aura, and past lives to help them understand their path of least resistance—the easiest and most fulfilling way forward. Unlike traditional therapy or coaching, a psychic reading provides instant insights into what’s truly holding someone back, whether it’s unresolved emotions, limiting beliefs, or spiritual blocks. Olivia and Julee discuss how trusting intuitive guidance can be a game-changer during a life transition, offering comfort, validation, and a renewed sense of self. Plus, Julee shares real-life examples of how her work has helped people navigate divorce, love, relationships, and even messages from loved ones and pets!

    If you’ve ever wondered what a psychic reading can do for you, this episode is your invitation to explore the power of intuition and energy work. Julee breaks down common misconceptions, explains how readings work, and shares why everyone—especially those going through divorce—can benefit from a session. Tune in to hear how psychic guidance can provide the answers, reassurance, and direction you’ve been searching for. Ready to step into clarity, alignment, and joy? Hit play and discover how trusting your energy can lead you to a brighter, more empowered future.

    Learn more about Psychic Julee: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/psychicjulee

    Make sure to check out Fresh Starts Registry: the first and only divorce registry and resource platform, and the fastest growing network of divorce professionals: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 

    Divorce Happens on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 

    Divorce Guide Newsletter: https://divorceguide.substack.com/

    19 min
  • How to Recognize Emotional Abuse, Break Free, and Rebuild Your Life with Forensic Psychologist Dr. Victoria Latifses

    Leaving a toxic relationship is never easy, but knowing where to start can be the hardest part. In this episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with clinical and forensic psychologist Dr. Victoria Latifses to discuss the emotional and logistical challenges of leaving an unhealthy or abusive relationship. Victoria, who has nearly 20 years of experience working with protective parents, survivors, and family court advocacy, breaks down what defines a toxic relationship, how to recognize red flags, and why emotional and financial abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse. With thousands of people turning to Fresh Starts for guidance on this topic, Olivia and Victoria tackle the most common questions: How do I leave? Am I in a toxic relationship? How do I heal?

    Victoria shares six essential steps for safely leaving a toxic relationship, starting with building a support system, reaching out to trusted friends and family, and taking small steps toward independence. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing isolation as a key tactic of abuse and provides concrete advice on where to find help, including therapists, legal professionals, and crisis resources. Olivia reflects on her own experience with emotional abuse, sharing how crucial it was to have a roadmap and a community to lean on. They also discuss the importance of setting boundaries, acknowledging the fear that comes with leaving, and taking intentional steps toward self-healing.

    This episode is packed with expert insights, validation, and encouragement for anyone questioning their relationship or struggling to break free. Victoria highlights the signs of covert abuse—like gaslighting, control, and manipulation—and reminds listeners that healing begins the moment they take action. If you’re navigating an abusive relationship or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers guidance, reassurance, and practical steps to move forward. Don't miss this empowering discussion, and be sure to check out Fresh Starts for expert resources, community support, and scripts to help you take that first step.

    Learn more about Victoria Latifses on her Fresh Starts Profile: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/embodied-psychotherapy

    Make sure to check out Fresh Starts Registry: the first and only divorce registry and resource platform, and the fastest growing network of divorce professionals: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 

    Divorce Happens on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 

    Divorce Guide Newsletter: https://divorceguide.substack.com/

    19 min
  • How to Handle Divorce Burnout with Self-Care Coach and Therapist Abbey Sangmeister

    Divorce isn’t just a legal process—it’s an emotional, mental, and logistical marathon that can leave you feeling completely drained. In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with therapist and coach Abbey Sangmeister (Google’s #1 Self-Care Coach!) to talk about how to prevent burnout while navigating divorce. Abbey shares her expert advice on setting boundaries, managing emotional overload, and creating small but impactful self-care rituals. She emphasizes that divorce often forces people to manage not only their own emotions but also those of their ex, children, lawyers, and even well-meaning friends and family. Through practical strategies—like carving out sacred alone time, using decision-making models to say “no,” and scheduling buffer time around legal meetings—Abbey helps listeners regain control and prevent total exhaustion.

    Abbey also dives into the power of reframing divorce as a transformational process, rather than one that depletes your soul. She shares actionable tips for busy parents and professionals, like using the car as a moment of peace, building a support system, and advocating for personal space—especially when living with an ex. Olivia reflects on her own experience with legal overwhelm and how Abbey’s advice helped her manage the emotional weight of attorney calls. Whether you’re deep in the divorce process or supporting someone who is, this episode will help you protect your time, energy, and mental health while navigating one of life’s biggest transitions.

    Abbey Sangmeister is a therapist, coach, and burnout prevention expert who specializes in helping professionals and parents reclaim their energy and take control of their lives. With over 13 years of experience, she has worked nationally and internationally to guide clients through personal transformations—helping them move past their stuck points and design fulfilling, balanced lives. Abbey’s approach blends therapy, coaching, and practical interventions to help people avoid burnout while achieving their goals.

    Learn more about Abbey Sangmeister and Evolving Whole: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/evolving-whole

    13 min

About Divorce Happens

From the publisher's feed

Welcome to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we inspire, educate, and support you through divorce and beyond so that you can start fresh on the next phase of your journey. Produced by Fresh Starts…

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