This is for anyone who is holding onto a regret or pain that affects their identity in the present: something that you do not want to take into the new year. When something is bugging us about the past, we are really just pausing a part of the present and living through a warped memory. Sometimes that is because we feel that this will somehow give us what we deserve, like an unconscious act of penance. And sometimes it’s because we are twitching around this thing– almost like a muscle spasm. When we just can’t seem to face a regret in an objective and open way, we cannot process and release it.

So this is my invitation to release the spasm! Pop that zit! Let’s break open that thing whatever it is and work it out so that we can release it. A lot of the time these things will inform the next steps and that will be a gift. Don’t fear it, welcome it, it actually sets us free. I say that because SOOO many of the things that scare us from the past are actually really old fears that are not current or do not belong to the present. Like they are the fears of a 9-year-old self. Or the fears of a very sad child. Which takes me to an important caveat: approach this episode safely. I don’t want to make you triggered, overwhelmed or unstable. The holidays are already a big and heavy season because of that recurring marker that is this time of year.

For you I want to remind you of therapy– a great resource to process sadness and grief caused by the echo of unprocessed loss. Often our bodies are in a static state of “but I don’t want this to be true.” And this is just an echo of that- like a splinter that now has formed scar tissue over it.

For all of you I say walk toward the conflict within and let it be seen as a gift of insight and growth. It will be if you choose to see it as an opportunity.

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo

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