you can’t create a life you love while starving the part of you that was born to create it.

chapter three of The Perfectionist Diaries is an ode to the Good Idea Fairy - this childlike, intuitive, enchanted part of you that I created to represent the little voice that drops breadcrumbs, whispers nudges, and hands you ideas that could change your entire life (if you'd just listen!!)

this episode is about repairing that relationship:

letting your creativity breathe again,

acting without needing certainty,

learning the sacred art of detachment.

and a core Figuring Sh!t Out theme:

following the spark even when it makes no sense on paper.

and at the end of the episode - big news about how I'm doing just this!! (AGAIN?? ...yes.)

bringing this series full circle and closing the loop on fear, flow, and creative devotion.

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GOOD IDEA FAIRY MEDITATION:

Perfectionist Diaries Episodes:

Chapter 1: Do it Scared

Chapter 2: Make it Exist, then Make it Good

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Creation requires both the fire and the flow.

In Chapter Two of The Perfectionist Diaries, we explore the cosmic dance between masculine and feminine energy: the part of you that initiates, and the part of you that softens and refines.

This episode is a gentle excavation of the shadows beneath perfectionism: the fear of being perceived, the fear of shining too brightly, the ways we reject our own wholeness.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to start before you feel ready, hold yourself through imperfection, and create from your deepest truth.

In it, we explore:

• The philosophy of “make it exist, then make it good” - separating creation (masculine/action) from refinement (feminine/receptivity).
• Why perfectionism exists: subconscious rejection wounds, fear of being seen, fear of success, fear of being misunderstood.
• Spiritual bypassing and how it keeps creators from healing the origins of their perfectionism.
• The necessity of shadow-work & some tools for creative recovery for anyone who wants to create authentically.
• The balance of masculine + feminine energy in the creative process.
• Survival vs. Creation: How survival mode kills creativity, and why you must bring play, fun, and joy back into the process.
• A framework for taking action from a place of wholeness

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Courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to act despite it. 

Waiting until you're fearless will keep you stuck in perfectionism forever. 

And fear cannot live in a moving body. 

So, 

Move. 

-

The Perfectionist Diaries is a mini-series on Figuring Sh!t Out about breaking free from habitual perfectionism and learning to create through fear.

This first chapter explores divine timing, creative resistance, and why waiting to feel “ready” is the biggest trap of all.

On this episode, we cover:

• The False Ideal of Fearlessness & How Perfectionism is the Deepest form of Self-Sabotage
• How Ideas are Divine Assignments, why we must Act
• What Creative Self-Worth Means & Entails
• Not needing to Know the End-Game, Just the Next Aligned Step (thank u erifili!!)
• Moving through The Perfectionist Paralysis with the Willingness to be Seen

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Courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to act despite it. 

Waiting until you're fearless will keep you stuck in perfectionism forever. 

And fear cannot live in a moving body. 

So, 

Move. 

-

The Perfectionist Diaries is a mini-series on Figuring Sh!t Out about breaking free from habitual perfectionism and learning to create through fear.

This first chapter explores divine timing, creative resistance, and why waiting to feel “ready” is the biggest trap of all.

On this episode, we cover:

• The False Ideal of Fearlessness & How Perfectionism is the Deepest form of Self-Sabotage
• How Ideas are Divine Assignments, why we must Act
• What Creative Self-Worth Means & Entails
• Not needing to Know the End-Game, Just the Next Aligned Step (thank u erifili!!)
• Moving through The Perfectionist Paralysis with the Willingness to be Seen

x

IF YOU <3 FSO, RATE THE PODCAST, LEAVE A COMMENT & SAY HI, AND STAY CONNECTED!

COSTA RICA 2026!!!

COMMUNITY / ROAD LESS TRAVELED INVITE: DM Me "Invite" On IG (@byvanessafontana)

MAILING LIST (10% off Merch + a Free Energy Protection Meditation <3)

IG: @byvanessafontana

TIKTOK: @butterflyfountain 

MERCH

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Decision is the bridge between your current reality and your highest potential. It is the pathway from survival to creation, from fear to embodiment, and from wishing to CHOOSING. 

Because maybe you're not stuck - maybe you're just.. undecided. 

And maybe, without realizing it, your lack of decision has already become one: the choice to stay disconnected, half-alive, half-in.

This episode is a wake-up call. 

A reclamation of your creative power through the art of choosing. 

We explore how fear, numbness, and ambivalence keep us suspended between worlds, and how reconnecting to your body allows clarity, creativity, and conviction to return.

You'll learn: 

• Why hope without action can become a disguised form of fear.
• How emotional numbness and ambivalence block your creative energy.
• Somatic and practical tools to reconnect with your desire and direction.
• How trauma shapes indecision and how to reprogram your body for clarity.
• An 8 step framework to shift looping thoughts into embodied, decisive action.
• The energetic process of turning decisions into lasting change.

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FSO Episode 82: How EMDR Heals

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I don't know about you - but cynicism has never brought me more life. Judgement towards myself or others has never given me more purpose. Feeding resistance and resentment has never watered the seeds of my growth.

Contrary to popular belief - joy is not naive. It is imperative. And this radical, yet simple decision to take the unserious seriously is what enables us to let go a little deeper into the necessary whimsy of life that makes it worth living.

This week, we explore why learning to feel, experience, and hold a state of joy is THE most important work you'll do for yourself, others, and dare I say... humanity.

My intention is that you leave this episode with powerful reframes that root you deeper into the presence of your being and allow you to feel more ease in the more-than-enough purpose of simply being alive.

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This week, we explore the tender space between solitude and connection, moving deeper into the theme of unapologetic self-expression (especially for those of us who learned to hide in self-protection.)

For those of us who have long identified as "introverts," I ask you a very important question: are you ACTUALLY an introvert? Or do you just have social anxiety and are you scared to be seen?

On today's episode, we explore the spectrum of introversion / extroversion as it relates to the safety to be seen and explore the truth behind these labels, social anxiety, and the self-preserving patterns that make us believe we're safer unseen and how to gently unravel them and find aligned community.

We root into this theme of community and belonging - something so many of us strive to find in a chronically online, disconnected world - and how to find it when you're in the process of finding yourself.

I take you through my own story of social anxiety, self-preservation, outgrowing friendships as a result of coming of age, coming into rediscovering platonic love in a new way, and explore how self-connection can expand into communion with others.

If you take away one thing from this dialogue, let it be this:

WHEN YOU LET YOURSELF BE SEEN, YOU LET YOURSELF BE LOVED! & YOU DESERVE TO BE BOTH SEEN + LOVED.

(but how???? well, just sit back, relax, and listen <3)

This episode is a part 2 to episode 102 (Unapologetic, Unconditional Beingness) (no need to listen in order!)

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Many of us have come to know our true selves and what alignment feels like to *some* extend, but how do you ~stay~ aligned, even when life isn't? Even when your environment.. isn't?

This episode is all about staying rooted in love, alignment, and authenticity - no matter what’s happening around you. We explore the continuum of contrast, the wound of rejection, and the habit of people-pleasing that pulls us out of ourselves and keep us small - especially when faced with people who project, misunderstand, or drain our energy..

Because here’s the truth: the world does not have to comply for you to feel good. You do not have to change anyone or anything to be at peace. Alignment is because of *you*, not your circumstances.

In this episode, you'll learn how to take radical responsibility for your alignment, understand your conditioning, and release control-oriented patterns that keep you small.

We talk inner child healing, shadow work, and the truth about introversion (& social anxiety) as self-preservation - and how to bring your full, radiant self into every room. (BECAUSE THE WORLD NEEDS MORE OF YOU BEING YOU <3)

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FSO Episodes Referenced:

Episode 43: Speak your Truth & Protect Your Peace: The Energy of Alignment & Influence

Shadow-Work Series, Part 1

CHAPTERS:

0:00-4:00: how to stay aligned, relentlessly love, + be YOU

5:30: the continuum of contrast & choosing love over fear 

7:00: addressing the wound of rejection + the habit of people pleasing / molding ourselves / control-oriented behaviors

8:00: step 1: radical responsibility

9:30: becoming aware of your conditioning 

11:00: when you ask for more, you will be met with opportunities to choose MORE. relationships & opportunities are our mirrors 

14:00: inner child healing, shadow-work, the WHY behind when we start hiding 

18:00: when empathy & emotional attunement becomes maladaptive

22:00: introversion as a self-preservation tactic / why you're actually drained by socializing

30:00: you are here for a reason. you’ve done half the work - how do you take the work / alignment with you? 

27:00: alignment is because of YOU, not your circumstance. why we feel a fresh perspective when we travel / go somewhere but have trouble integrating. the love you see in anything is a reflection of you

34:00: you don't have to cut people off to protect your peace 

37:00: if you love someone take them off the pedastal of expectation: it's not fair to them, it's not fair to you.

36:00: the shift that changes everything.

40:00: believe so radically 

44:00: unconditional love  

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On this episode, we’re breaking down the real mechanics of manifestation and demystifying the heavily marketed *woo-woo* behind it.

(....Coming from a girl who loves and firmly embraces the woo-woo.)

Spirituality and science are finally beginning to speak the same language, and on this episode, we’re translating both. 

This is a deep-dive into the inner physics of creation: how emotion shapes matter, how the heart bends time, and how the future already lives inside of you.

We dive into the fundamental power within all of us to access emotional alchemy - dissipating past pain and creating a more expansive future and we do this by covering it alllll - the neuroscience, the energetics, and the emotional regulation behind true transformation.

Pens & Papers out today folks because Class! Is! In! Session!

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FSO Episodes Referenced:

Part 1: Law of Attraction, Living in Alignment, Surrendering & Trusting your intuition 

Part 2: Law of Attraction, Romanticizing your Life, Self-Fulfilling Prophecies, and Gratitude into Luckiness

MARATHON EPISODE 

Shadow-Work Episodes: 

Inner Child Healing

Self-Expression & Creativity 

Further RESOURCES Mentioned: 

HeartMath Institute

Free Heart Coherence Meditation

About Vipassana

Insight timer - Free Meditation App 

DavidJi 40 Days of Transformation (Paid Version) 

CHAPTERS:

0:00-3:00: Time is Non-Linear

3:00-7:00: Manifestation is not what you think it is: skepticism & discernment is necessary

7:00-12:00: CLASS IN SESSION! The Mechanics of Energy & The Basic States of Creation

12:00-15:00: Concepts of Time

15:00-18:00: Felt Sensation

18:00-22:00: Energetic Pathway of the Heart, Heart Math, Heart Coherence

22:00-30:00: How I accidentally quantum Leaped

30:00-35:00: The Most Important Emotion

35:00-37:00: What this REALLY all means. Simplifying it all.

37:00-49:00: Practices for Collapsing Time

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Season 4 opens with an invitation: to break subconscious contracts, to honor the duality of being and becoming, and to claim the inevitability of who you already are, embracing the fullness of your dreams with bravery and commitment.

This episode walks you through the arc of survival, fear, and limitation - into freedom, expression, and truth. It maps the narrative arc of survival into self-expression, exploring the psychology of subconscious contracts and the practice of choosing your own inevitability over fear. 

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CHAPTERS:

0:00 - Figuring Sh!t Out - SEASON 4 

2:00: the narrative arc - when the road less traveled becomes.. the road you're on 

9:00: you are inevitable

14:00 the profound responsibility of taking responsibility for your own life 

18:00: your subconscious contracts + failure pre-emption

20:00: ways that I break my own subconscious contracts

22:00: the myth of working "hard": let it be easy

23:00: the loyalty we pay to our fear vs our dreams & the contract of unworthiness

25:00: PRACTICAL TIPS TO TURN survival into self-expression 

30:00 the responsibility of being inevitable

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