Figuring Sh!t Out

Growing wiser into the ancient knowledge of our spirit and the animalistic nature of our humanity demands the realization that many things our society looks at as luxuries are actually necessities. 

One of them: rest.

As a society, we have a complicated relationship with rest. An anxious-avoidant one where we long for it, but don't want to get too comfortable in it. We crave it, yet we fear leaning into it.

In this Winter Solstice episode, we lean into a discussion about restoring balance in our natural rhythms and cycles through embracing rest and ritualizing our lives with intention.

I take you through my complicated and once toxic relationship with rest and productivity, and the ways that I've healed it.

What I've found is that -

Inspiration strikes most in surrender,

Romance can flourish in the spaces in between -

And when we allow ourselves the birthright of rest and recovery, we can receive so much more.

In a world that never stops turning, if lighting a candle and reading a book in the sun as it begins to set early is an act of rebellion, then let us all be the leaders of the next revolution.

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a reminder that it's as easy as a deep breath

and seeing that it has always been okay.

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This episode is about remembering that your purpose was never meant to look like anyone else’s - and releasing the comparison that’s been convincing you you’re behind.

I believe that we all have a gift. I believe that we all have a purpose. I believe that it is buried within the places we don’t want to look. It is entangled in the masterpieces of destruction, it is the diamond in the roughest moments of life, it is forged in the fire of standing tall as you face yourself - no longer running away. 

But in this age of endless self-help prescriptions from talking heads on the internet, 25 year old millionaires who tell you you're doing something wrong because you haven't figured out how to make 100k overnight while gallivanting at the beach, how can you not feel like you're behind? Like you’ve missed something?

Comparison does not just steal joy from you - it steals your knowing, your presence, your direction, and the thread of your purpose from you.

These are illusions that are meant to distort our inner compass and seep us into comparison. To keep you running towards something that isn’t your own.

No one else has lived the life you’ve lived through your precious eyes. 

And for that reason, the unique purpose that you have - the gifts that you have - are buried within the threads you have been weaving your whole life, not in the framework of someone else’s. 

This episode is for anyone who feels like they're behind, who feels a little confused, who feels like they don't quite know their purpose but have been trying to find it, who feels like they have one but don't know where to start in pursuing it, who wants to pursue creativity in some form but feels limited, who wants make their creativity their living but has no clue where to start -

I see you.

But here's the truth:

Knowing your purpose is only half of the equation.

Staying true to yourself in it is the other half. 

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Saying yes to yourself is an unraveling process of becoming closer and closer to the gift of uncertainty and confronting the fear that holds you hostage in order to receive it.

In this episode, I share reflections of my journey in the last year saying the biggest, boldest yes I ever have: leaving my 9-5 last year to pursue building a business out of this podcast full time.

This episode was recorded from an adobe home in Santa Fe, New Mexico gifted by Two Casitas (explore their homes here!!). I found myself here to meet Julia Cameron, author of the Artist's Way at a coffee-shop event she was holding for her latest book. I flew here to say yes to a little call in my heart, to explore what was within it, and to ask Julia to be a guest on this podcast. (stay tuned to see what happens next!!)

This episode covers the many lessons I've learned while taking the Road Less Traveled - including a deeply honest admittance of the challenges that come with choosing less stability for more internal certainty while living in the flux of a place like New York City.

In this episode - I explore what it means to take the leap, pursue a creative calling and do it full-time for MONEY, and a few things I wish I would have known before taking the leap.

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• A growing library of meditations, practices, and resources (& Monthly Themes)
• A private community space for connection, expression, and collaboration
• 25% off future retreats / Free NYC events

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Read the Substack Piece

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you can’t create a life you love while starving the part of you that was born to create it.

chapter three of The Perfectionist Diaries is an ode to the Good Idea Fairy - this childlike, intuitive, enchanted part of you that I created to represent the little voice that drops breadcrumbs, whispers nudges, and hands you ideas that could change your entire life (if you'd just listen!!)

this episode is about repairing that relationship:

letting your creativity breathe again,

acting without needing certainty,

learning the sacred art of detachment.

and a core Figuring Sh!t Out theme:

following the spark even when it makes no sense on paper.

and at the end of the episode - big news about how I'm doing just this!! (AGAIN?? ...yes.)

bringing this series full circle and closing the loop on fear, flow, and creative devotion.

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Inside you'll have access to:

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• A private community space for connection, expression, and collaboration
• 25% off future retreats / Free NYC events
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Perfectionist Diaries Episodes:

Chapter 1: Do it Scared

Chapter 2: Make it Exist, then Make it Good

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Creation requires both the fire and the flow.

In Chapter Two of The Perfectionist Diaries, we explore the cosmic dance between masculine and feminine energy: the part of you that initiates, and the part of you that softens and refines.

This episode is a gentle excavation of the shadows beneath perfectionism: the fear of being perceived, the fear of shining too brightly, the ways we reject our own wholeness.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to start before you feel ready, hold yourself through imperfection, and create from your deepest truth.

In it, we explore:

• The philosophy of “make it exist, then make it good” - separating creation (masculine/action) from refinement (feminine/receptivity).
• Why perfectionism exists: subconscious rejection wounds, fear of being seen, fear of success, fear of being misunderstood.
• Spiritual bypassing and how it keeps creators from healing the origins of their perfectionism.
• The necessity of shadow-work & some tools for creative recovery for anyone who wants to create authentically.
• The balance of masculine + feminine energy in the creative process.
• Survival vs. Creation: How survival mode kills creativity, and why you must bring play, fun, and joy back into the process.
• A framework for taking action from a place of wholeness

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Want more? Join METAMORPHOSIS - a creative nervous-system led sanctuary for women designed to help you move through fear, trust your voice, and express what's inside of you - in COMMUNITY.

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Inside you'll have access to:

• Journey's like the 10 day Creative Awakening & Inner Child Healing Journey and 5 Day Somatic Expression Perfectionism Journey
• Weekly live sessions (Artist’s Hours + Shadow-Workshops) (Also recorded)
• A growing library of meditations, practices, and resources (& Monthly Themes)
• A private community space for connection, expression, and collaboration
• 25% off future retreats / Free NYC events

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Courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to act despite it. 

Waiting until you're fearless will keep you stuck in perfectionism forever. 

And fear cannot live in a moving body. 

So, 

Move. 

-

The Perfectionist Diaries is a mini-series on Figuring Sh!t Out about breaking free from habitual perfectionism and learning to create through fear.

This first chapter explores divine timing, creative resistance, and why waiting to feel “ready” is the biggest trap of all.

On this episode, we cover:

• The False Ideal of Fearlessness & How Perfectionism is the Deepest form of Self-Sabotage
• How Ideas are Divine Assignments, why we must Act
• What Creative Self-Worth Means & Entails
• Not needing to Know the End-Game, Just the Next Aligned Step (thank u erifili!!)
• Moving through The Perfectionist Paralysis with the Willingness to be Seen

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COSTA RICA 2026!!!

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Courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to act despite it. 

Waiting until you're fearless will keep you stuck in perfectionism forever. 

And fear cannot live in a moving body. 

So, 

Move. 

-

The Perfectionist Diaries is a mini-series on Figuring Sh!t Out about breaking free from habitual perfectionism and learning to create through fear.

This first chapter explores divine timing, creative resistance, and why waiting to feel “ready” is the biggest trap of all.

On this episode, we cover:

• The False Ideal of Fearlessness & How Perfectionism is the Deepest form of Self-Sabotage
• How Ideas are Divine Assignments, why we must Act
• What Creative Self-Worth Means & Entails
• Not needing to Know the End-Game, Just the Next Aligned Step (thank u erifili!!)
• Moving through The Perfectionist Paralysis with the Willingness to be Seen

x

Want more? Join METAMORPHOSIS - a creative nervous-system led sanctuary for women designed to help you move through fear, trust your voice, and express what's inside of you - in COMMUNITY.

HEAR WHAT MEMBERS ARE SAYING ABOUT METAMORPHOSIS & learn more here.

Inside you'll have access to:

• Journey's like the 10 day Creative Awakening & Inner Child Healing Journey and 5 Day Somatic Expression Perfectionism Journey
• Weekly live sessions (Artist’s Hours + Shadow-Workshops) (Also recorded)
• A growing library of meditations, practices, and resources (& Monthly Themes)
• A private community space for connection, expression, and collaboration
• 25% off future retreats / Free NYC events

x

IF YOU <3 FSO, RATE THE PODCAST, LEAVE A COMMENT & SAY HI, AND STAY CONNECTED!

COSTA RICA 2026!!!

MAILING LIST

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TIKTOK: @butterflyfountain 

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Decision is the bridge between your current reality and your highest potential. It is the pathway from survival to creation, from fear to embodiment, and from wishing to CHOOSING. 

Because maybe you're not stuck - maybe you're just.. undecided. 

And maybe, without realizing it, your lack of decision has already become one: the choice to stay disconnected, half-alive, half-in.

This episode is a wake-up call. 

A reclamation of your creative power through the art of choosing. 

We explore how fear, numbness, and ambivalence keep us suspended between worlds, and how reconnecting to your body allows clarity, creativity, and conviction to return.

You'll learn: 

• Why hope without action can become a disguised form of fear.
• How emotional numbness and ambivalence block your creative energy.
• Somatic and practical tools to reconnect with your desire and direction.
• How trauma shapes indecision and how to reprogram your body for clarity.
• An 8 step framework to shift looping thoughts into embodied, decisive action.
• The energetic process of turning decisions into lasting change.

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Want more? Join METAMORPHOSIS - a creative nervous-system led sanctuary for women designed to help you move through fear, trust your voice, and express what's inside of you - in COMMUNITY.

HEAR WHAT MEMBERS ARE SAYING ABOUT METAMORPHOSIS & learn more here.

Inside you'll have access to:

• Journey's like the 10 day Creative Awakening & Inner Child Healing Journey and 5 Day Somatic Expression Perfectionism Journey
• Weekly live sessions (Artist’s Hours + Shadow-Workshops) (Also recorded)
• A growing library of meditations, practices, and resources (& Monthly Themes)
• A private community space for connection, expression, and collaboration
• 25% off future retreats / Free NYC events

x

IF YOU <3 FSO, RATE THE PODCAST, LEAVE A COMMENT & SAY HI, AND STAY CONNECTED!

COSTA RICA 2026!!!

MAILING LIST

IG: @byvanessafontana

TIKTOK: @butterflyfountain 

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FSO Episode 82: How EMDR Heals

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I don't know about you - but cynicism has never brought me more life. Judgement towards myself or others has never given me more purpose. Feeding resistance and resentment has never watered the seeds of my growth.

Contrary to popular belief - joy is not naive. It is imperative. And this radical, yet simple decision to take the unserious seriously is what enables us to let go a little deeper into the necessary whimsy of life that makes it worth living.

This week, we explore why learning to feel, experience, and hold a state of joy is THE most important work you'll do for yourself, others, and dare I say... humanity.

My intention is that you leave this episode with powerful reframes that root you deeper into the presence of your being and allow you to feel more ease in the more-than-enough purpose of simply being alive.

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Want more? Join METAMORPHOSIS - a creative nervous-system led sanctuary for women designed to help you move through fear, trust your voice, and express what's inside of you - in COMMUNITY.

HEAR WHAT MEMBERS ARE SAYING ABOUT METAMORPHOSIS & learn more here.

Inside you'll have access to:

• Journey's like the 10 day Creative Awakening & Inner Child Healing Journey and 5 Day Somatic Expression Perfectionism Journey
• Weekly live sessions (Artist’s Hours + Shadow-Workshops) (Also recorded)
• A growing library of meditations, practices, and resources (& Monthly Themes)
• A private community space for connection, expression, and collaboration
• 25% off future retreats / Free NYC events

x

IF YOU <3 FSO, RATE THE PODCAST, LEAVE A COMMENT & SAY HI, AND STAY CONNECTED!

MAILING LIST 

IG: @byvanessafontana

TIKTOK: @butterflyfountain 

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