Figuring Sh!t Out

This episode is for those who have felt, at any point, like they are "too much."

To dim the beautiful bright light in your being to be palatable and digestible for others is an indiscretion to your soul.

We must resist the urge to give into cynicism and nihilism and embrace that life CAN be beautiful, love IS that good, and that we ARE meant to live in joy and trust that flow will guide us.

During this episode, we go on a journey of understanding where cynicism and projection comes from, why we prioritize people pleasing over our own personal power, and what happens when we decide to live rooted in ourselves and connected to our joy.

Life is too short to not believe that it can also be sweet.

We talk:

0:00 - 5:09 - The Psychology of Cynicism + Projection

5:15 - 9:08 - The Negative Impacts of Dimming Your Light

9:08 - 13:01 - Why Animals + Children are Magnets for Attention & Joy

13:01 - 16:00 - The "OF COURSE THEY ARE!" Mindset

16:00 - 19:58 - Letting Yourself Be Seen: Remaining Open to Love vs Toxic Positivity

19:58 - Reprogramming your Mind & Affirmations for Inner/Outer Harmony

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If you love to listen to FSO, rate the podcast on your preferred streaming platform, let me know your thoughts on this episode, and follow the socials to stay up to date!

Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout

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Interested in more? Join the Figuring Sh!t Out Together Community!

The Figuring Sh!t Out Together community provides access to a connected space that deepens your navigation of healing, evolving, becoming. To receive some guided journey's alongside episodes, connection to the FSO Together community + Vanessa, and bonus content <3

FIGURING SH!T OUT TOGETHER COMMUNITIES

YOU ARE YOUR OWN HERO | E-BOOK & GUIDE BY ME <3 (free w/ community access!!) 

MAILING LIST: FSO Website

FREE DOWNLOADABLE GUIDEBOOK ON INTUITION VS ANXIETY

SEASON TWO TRAILER

If you liked this episode, you'll like this one too!

38 - Unlocking Our Hearts Potential & Clearing Energetic Blocks

"You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body - love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -

over and over announcing your place in the family of things."

'Wild Geese', by Mary Oliver

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CHAPTERS:

(00:00) - Cleaning Out the Closet + Creating Space

(06:59) - The Self is a Construct & Identity is a Prison

(9:05) - The Art & The Power of Letting Go

(14:30) - You Can't Heal What You Don't Feel

(23:05) - Techniques for Embracing the Wisdom + Natural Intelligence of Our Body

(27:42) - Surrendering to Flow + Allowing Blessings In

(32:56) - The Unseen

(40:05) - Reigniting Child-Like Wonder + Embracing New Life

(Links to Resources mentioned in this episode + book titles down below <3)

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<3 IF YOU LIKE THIS EPISODE / FSO, PLS RATE THE PODCAST ON YOUR PREFERRED STREAMING PLATFORM + LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS EPISODE! <3

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FREE DOWNLOADABLE GUIDEBOOK ON INTUITION VS ANXIETY

SEASON TWO TRAILER

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Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sarah Blandin Activating Freedom Meditation

Healing is Not My Purpose

Readings from:

“The Creative Act” by Rick Rubin 

"Dream Work" Poem Book by Mary Oliver

If you liked this episode, you’ll like this one too! 

Growing & Outgrowing: You’re Not Wrong, You’re Just in the Wrong Place

At some point in our lives, we may find ourselves bending and folding ourselves into shapes that are not our own in an exhausting effort to fit in, conform, and get our return on the illusion we bought that told us we'd be happy if we just "did what we were supposed to do."

And too often, when this formula doesn't work for us - we exile ourselves and internalize the confusion of being confused.

We may wonder why we haven’t gotten it right, why we feel so misunderstood.

What we fail to acknowledge is -- that while we try to contort ourselves into a glass half empty - our unique desires, impulses, and dreams are waiting for us to fill our glass full. 

Have you ever considered that maybe your life is asking of you something so unique, so particular, and so idiosyncratic to your own individual idiosyncrasies - that only you can hear the call and only you can take the action?

This episode discusses the art of authentic living & the process of embracing our individuality - along with the challenges that come with outgrowing people, places, and things that may have once felt like home.

There are many choices we can make in this world, but the one I can almost promise you will never regret making is choosing yourself.

To choose yourself, you must learn yourself, know yourself, trust yourself - and honor the individual expression that calls in a voice only you can hear.

I believe you have what it takes to do so.

It is your calling, after all.

xx

V

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<3 IF YOU LOVE TO LISTEN TO FSO, PLZ RATE THE PODCAST ON YOUR PREFERRED STREAMING PLATFORM + LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS EPISODE <3

CHAPTERS:

0:00-10:25 - You’re not wrong, you’re just in the wrong place

+ A reading from "Women who Run with the Wolves," Passage: The Ugly Duckling

10:25 - FOMO isn’t Real - The Price of False Illusions of Happiness

15:58 - Outgrowing what You Once Loved, Learning About + Honoring Your Individual Differences

19:10 - Wanting MORE for your Life + Feeling Deserving Of It

20:47 - Paralyzed by Indecision? Sylvia Plath’s Fig Tree of Choice

26:27 - Your Power & MAGIC is You - You’re Not Meant for Everyone

If you liked this episode, you'll like this one too!

Episode 28 - Are you Truly Living, or Just Surviving?

SOCIALS / COMMUNITY / MAILING LIST

Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout

Personal Instagram: @222vgf

Spiritual & Self-Help Advice -> TikTok: butterflyfountain

JOIN: FIGURING SH!T OUT TOGETHER COMMUNITIES

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YOU ARE YOUR OWN HERO | E-BOOK & GUIDE BY ME <3 (free w/ community access!!) 

FREE DOWNLOADABLE GUIDEBOOK ON INTUITION VS ANXIETY

SEASON TWO TRAILER

This episode covers a broad range of topics from questions you guys asked via the FSO IG (@figuringshiiitout) for a special episode celebrating over FIFTY episodes of Figuring Sh!t Out!

It has been an honor + a privilege to host this podcast & figure sh!t out alongside all of you. I LOVED answering these questions + learning what you guys are curious about.

Because I loved it so much, I will be incorporating more Q&A's into future episodes, so if you have a burning question - feel free to reach out & stay tuned on the FSO instagram for more opportunities for this interactivity <3 (or ask in the section below this episode!)

Thank you for listening, asking, and letting the light in me find the light in you.

Here's to 50 more episodes!!!

CHAPTERS:

0:00 - Thoughts on Religion 

8:33- Exploring Astrology as a Medium of Self-Understanding 

11:30 - Advice for Feeling lost in Relationships 

13:47 - Forgiving your Parents / Ancestral Healing

19:50 - How to Stop the Negative Spiral Loop 

24:08 - Finding your Path Outside of Traditional Education

25:30 - Self-Care is Hot

27:35 - How to Prioritize Time alone while Working, Seeing Friends, + Resting?

30:48 - How to Navigate a Difficult Family Dynamic

<3 IF YOU ARE A FREQUENT LISTENER OF FSO, please rate the podcast on your preferred streaming platform & let me know what you think of this episode below! <3

+ If you liked this episode & want MORE on the topics I covered, here are some FSO episodes you may like!

Religion/Spirituality:

Episode 10 - The Journey of Spiritual Awakening. Who are you, Really?

Episode 38: Unlocking our Heart's Potential: Clearing Energetic Blocks

Relationships (NEW EPISODE COMING NEXT WEEK!)

Episode 4 - Access to you is a Privilege. Navigating All Types of Love + Relationships

Episode 16 - Are you Showing up for Yourself the Way you Want to be Shown up for?

Finding your Life Path/Career:

Episode 11 - Normalize Confusion - Wherever you are is okay, & You're not running out of time

Episode 24: A Guide to: Identifying Limiting Beliefs, Breaking Patterns, & Creating a New Self-Concept

Episode 27 - Following your Calling + Taking the Bet on Yourself (Guest Episode w/ Wellness Entrepreneur)

Episode 32: Career Confusion & Existential Crises

Forgiving Parents/Healing Inner Child:

Episode 19 - No one is Coming to Save You & That's a Good Thing: How to be Your Own Hero

Episode 46 - Breaking the Cycle of Generational Trauma (Guest Episode w/ my Sister)

Prioritizing Time Alone in a Busy Life:

Episode 28 - Are you Truly Living or Just Surviving?

Episode 31 - Just Relax, You are Evolving

Stopping the Negative Spiral:

Episode 20 - It is Happening for You, Not to You

Episode 33: How to get out of a Funk & Reclaim your Conscious Power

STAY TUNED + Follow!

Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout

Personal Instagram: @222vgf

Spiritual & Self-Help Advice -> TikTok: butterflyfountain

JOIN: FIGURING SH!T OUT TOGETHER COMMUNITIES

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YOU ARE YOUR OWN HERO | E-BOOK & GUIDE BY ME <3 (free w/ community access!!) 

FREE DOWNLOADABLE GUIDEBOOK ON INTUITION VS ANXIETY

SEASON TWO TRAILER

As we've collectively shifted, it's clear that many are tuning into a greater spiritual awakening.

This episode takes us through the intricate interplay between our ego's attachment to the physical and our soul's yearning for transcendence - the balance, the dance, and the beautiful journey of duality.

CHAPTERS

(00:00) - Ego vs Soul

(7:40) - Connecting with Others + The Collective Consciousness

(9:23) - The Impact of TikTok / COVID on our Culture's Spiritual Awakening

(15:03) - Understanding Egoic Satisfaction & The Soul's Role

(23:08) - Healing + Unraveling Patterns of Survival

(27:46) - The Power of Choice + Alignment

(30:09): "Training" the Ego + Breaking Free from Unconscious Patterns

(43:19) - Inner Child Healing & Living From Love

<3 IF YOU ARE A FREQUENT LISTENER OF FSO, please rate the podcast on your preferred streaming platform & let me know what you think of this episode!! <3

If you liked this episode, you'll like this one too:

Fear is an Illusion

STAY TUNED + Follow!

Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout

Personal Instagram: @222vgf

Spiritual & Self-Help Advice -> TikTok: butterflyfountain

JOIN: FIGURING SH!T OUT TOGETHER COMMUNITIES

JOIN THE MAILING LIST HERE: FSO Website

YOU ARE YOUR OWN HERO | E-BOOK & GUIDE BY ME <3 (free w/ community access!!) 

FREE DOWNLOADABLE GUIDEBOOK ON INTUITION VS ANXIETY

SEASON TWO TRAILER

Struggles and success often dance hand in hand. 

Jamie Hess grew up in New York City as the daughter of GMA Host, Joan Lunden. A tenacious go-getter from a young age, Jamie was gifted, precocious, and ahead of the curve. She grew up fast - and she found herself soaring up the ladder of Corporate PR earlier than most. But she was curbing the growing pains of growing up in the public eye with a drug addiction that she kept secret - until she couldn't any longer. 

After the road to recovery from drug and alcohol abuse, Jamie turned her life around and discovered fitness, making it her mission to create community and help others see the beauty in a healthy lifestyle. She amassed thousands of followers with a zest for her new passion, until she found herself with another addiction hidden in sheep's clothing. This time, it was an eating disorder.

Years after recovery from these eras - today, Jamie is a wellness entrepreneur, speaker, mother, wife, and podcaster whose work has been featured on the Dr. Oz Show, The View, and Good Morning America.

On this episode, Jamie shares her story of resilience and accountability, and how her intimate experience with darkness became the groundwork for the woman she is today.

Each battle she overcame wove her life tapestry with the humility and infectious authenticity that allows her to teach the lessons that she had to learn.  

She is a woman who channels her past into a beacon for those seeking light.

On this episode, we talk: 

(00:00) - Overcoming Addiction, Jamie's Story

(10:38) - Asking for Help, Releasing Shame, Finding Community

(23:15) - Money Wound, Self-Doubt, Fear, Growing Confidence 

(26:13) - Perfectionism + Inner Criticism, Pursuing your Dreams

(29:57) - How Vulnerability is a SuperPower 

(39:21) - Jealousy as a Signal, Internalized Misogyny, The Company you Keep

(46:05) - How a Warrior Mindset saved Jamie's Mom from Breast Cancer + How Gratitude Saved Jamie from Addiction

(52:21) - Practical, Actionable Advice for those in Deep Confusion, Figuring Sh!t Out

<3 IF YOU ARE A FREQUENT LISTENER OF FSO, please rate the podcast on your preferred streaming platform & let me know what you think of this episode!! <3

STAY TUNED + Follow!

Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout

Personal Instagram: @222vgf

Spiritual & Self-Help Advice -> TikTok: butterflyfountain

JOIN: FIGURING SH!T OUT TOGETHER COMMUNITIES

JOIN THE MAILING LIST HERE: FSO Website

YOU ARE YOUR OWN HERO | E-BOOK & GUIDE BY ME <3 (free w/ community access!!) 

FREE DOWNLOADABLE GUIDEBOOK ON INTUITION VS ANXIETY

SEASON TWO TRAILER

If you liked this episode, you'll like this one too!

46 - Breaking the Cycle of Generational Trauma + Healing a Wounded Inner Child GUEST EPISODE with My Sister 

JAMIE'S LINKS: 

IG: NYCFITFAM

Website

Gratitudeology Podcast

You cannot run from what you don't want and run towards what you do at the same time.

You do one or the other.

In every moment - we are creating.

Either unconsciously or consciously - we choose the patterns and programs, or - we choose to create new ones.

In trying to avoid pain, we create the environments and situations to see it more clearly.

In a decision and a direction, we head forth into the unknown with a guidance born from our own powerful intentions.

If we search for safety, the best we will find - is safety.

But if we go towards our ideal, with the assumption that we are already safe -- we are able to see the boundlessness of positive momentum take form in our lives.

By understanding that our energy is a resource, one that is finite - but also able to multiply if we take care to nourish it, we can identify what drives and motivates us.

Fear? or Peace?

Survival? or Creation?

You choose.

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If you are a frequent listener of FSO, please rate the podcast on your preferred streaming platform & let me know what you think of this episode!!

This episode was inspired by:

Chloe Dechelle's Video (Chloe.Dechelle on TT)

STAY TUNED!

Follow!

Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout

Personal Instagram: @222vgf

Spiritual & Self-Help Advice -> TikTok: butterflyfountain

Youtube: Vanessa Fontana

JOIN: FIGURING SH!T OUT TOGETHER COMMUNITIES

(Two new meditations live last Sunday night! <3)

JOIN THE MAILING LIST HERE: FSO Website

YOU ARE YOUR OWN HERO | E-BOOK & GUIDE BY ME <3 (free w/ community access!!) 

FREE DOWNLOADABLE GUIDEBOOK ON INTUITION VS ANXIETY

SEASON TWO TRAILER

If you liked this episode, you'll like this one too!

41 - The Mind-Body Connection: Emotional Regulation, Physical Well-Being, & Somatic Healing

In the art of living, there's a subtle yet profound practice of flirting with life, embracing its vast possibilities, and allowing ourselves the freedom to dream without restraint. 

This episode peels back the layers of self-imposed limitations, bringing into focus the joy and growth that lie on the other side of fear.

There comes a time where your inner work will lead you to outgrowing your outer world and will ask you to make decisions to choose more for yourself without knowing exactly what comes next.

I invite you to imagine a world where you dance with your destiny and where the anticipation of what's to come is as delightful as the arrival itself. 

CHAPTERS:

0:00-5:04: Where are you Settling + Playing it Small? Identifying Limitations, Intuition vs Anxiety

5:04-8:11: Trusting in the Universe vs Taking Action

8:11- 15:24: What you're ACTUALLY scared of

15:24-20:02: Breaking out Of Unfulfilling Narratives: My Journey

20:02-23:50: Outgrowing Relationships, Letting Go & Making Room for New to Enter

23:50-26:33: Making room for All Parts of you Along the Way (Fear, Insecurity) as you Build Confidence, Authenticity, + Vibrance

26:33-30:24: FLIRT WITH LIFE

30:24-34:33: Your words MATTER: Shifting & Reprogramming Your Mind to Focus into Abundance over Lack

34:33: What's on the other side? Setting Expectations + Connecting to the Collective Consciousness

IF YOU LIKED THIS EPISODE, PLS RATE THE PODCAST ON YOUR PREFERRED STREAMING PLATFORM & TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS <3

STAY TUNED:

JOIN <3 FIGURING SH!T OUT TOGETHER COMMUNITIES

(Two new meditations live this Sunday night! <3)

Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout

Personal Instagram: @222vgf

Spiritual & Self-Help Advice -> TikTok: butterflyfountain

Youtube: Vanessa Fontana

JOIN THE MAILING LIST HERE: FSO Website

YOU ARE YOUR OWN HERO | E-BOOK & GUIDE BY ME <3 (free w/ community access!!) 

FREE DOWNLOADABLE GUIDEBOOK ON INTUITION VS ANXIETY

SEASON TWO TRAILER

If you liked this episode, you'll like this one too!

44 - Fear is An Illusion

Life goes beyond the house that you grew up in.

But you may spend many years healing from the time you spent growing up in it.

For my sister and I, we have found this to be the case.

Today, we unpack the impact of how growing up amidst instability shaped our lives and gave us mutual purpose to break the cycle of generational trauma.

Angelica is the strongest person that I know - and her experiences are one that I am honored to give voice to on Figuring Sh!t Out.

My sister and I share no DNA. She was adopted at Birth by our parents and has faced a layer of adversity as a person of color that I will never be able to fully understand. We grew up together in Florida in a fractured environment that she left at 15.

Our individual experiences and healing has led us back to one another after being separated for many years in our adolescence. We are not of the same blood, but have been cut from the same cloth, and found our definition of home to be one another.

To be vulnerable about what made you who you are today, even if it is a heavy past that you have learned and healed from - is to be free from letting it define you.

I hope this episode inspires you release any weight from the past that you no longer need to carry and know that the decision to heal is all that you need to begin.

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CHAPTERS:

0:00-3:58: Introduction, Episode Overview, & Preface 

4:00-10:15: Sisterhood + Siblinghood, Angelica's Adoption, Divine Orchestration

10:15-15:50: Roles + Trauma Responses in a Dysfunctional Household, Living in Survival, Mental Health 

19:03: Leaving Home at 14 & Experiencing Racism in a Prejudiced Town

23:39: Beginning Healing, Reparenting the Inner Child, Letting Yourself Be Loved

28:43: Anger, Forgiveness, & Breaking Patterns to Relearn Safety

39:26: Releasing + Recognizing Coping & Defense Mechanisms

49:17: Chosen Family, Building a Life You Want, & Loving Yourself through your Evolution

STAY TUNED:

JOIN <3 FIGURING SH!T OUT TOGETHER COMMUNITIES

Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout

Personal Instagram: @222vgf

Spiritual & Self-Help Advice -> TikTok: butterflyfountain

Youtube: Vanessa Fontana

JOIN THE MAILING LIST HERE: FSO Website

YOU ARE YOUR OWN HERO | E-BOOK & GUIDE BY ME <3 (free w/ community access!!) 

FREE DOWNLOADABLE GUIDEBOOK ON INTUITION VS ANXIETY

SEASON TWO TRAILER

If you liked this episode, you'll like this one too!

Episode 8: Healing is Not Linear & Life is Now

IF YOU LIKED THIS EPISODE, PLS RATE THE PODCAST ON YOUR PREFERRED STREAMING PLATFORM & TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS <3

Sit down & grab your popcorn - because this episode is different than any other on Figuring Sh!t Out:

Today is Story-Time.

I am taking you on a very honest journey through the last nine months -- from agreeing to run a Marathon in Paris, France (26.2 miles, 42 km) to all of the mental, emotional, and spiritual training that led me and my body to ultimately cross the finish line.

While this was a physical challenge - the physical capability paled in comparison to all of the limits that I had to personally release to feel ready to do this.

All that has been discussed on Figuring Sh!t Out up until this point has culminated to this moment -- where I put my mind, heart, soul, spirit, body, and divine connection to the test.

This has felt like a research project where the findings weren't ready to be presented until the test was finished.

& I can in fact confirm:

• Fear is an Illusion - Decide to not let it in or let it matter & it won't
• You are Greater and more powerful than Your Mind, Your Limits, and Your Conditions
• You will have to trade your old life for your new one, and you will be glad that you did
• Visualizing a Future State in Meditation Works (Actually WORKS) To Create A Desired State
• Progress is Not Linear - and Neither is Time
• The Present Moment is Eternal & Is the Portal to Peace, Truth, and Spiritual Guidance
• Your Intuition is Your Greatest Guide - Fear + Doubt are Blockers to It
• A Desire to Control is always from the Ego
• Your Heart is the Portal to Everything
• Love is The Highest Vibration
• Challenge is Your Wisest Teacher

All of the above will be divulged in fullness over the course of this season - but today -

A vulnerable unveiling of my own personal experience in the process of Figuring Sh!t Out.

I ran a Marathon in Paris - here is my story.

STAY TUNED:

JOIN <3 FIGURING SH!T OUT TOGETHER COMMUNITIES

Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout

Personal Instagram: @222vgf

Spiritual & Self-Help Advice -> TikTok: butterflyfountain

Youtube: Vanessa Fontana

JOIN THE MAILING LIST HERE: FSO Website

YOU ARE YOUR OWN HERO | E-BOOK & GUIDE BY ME <3 (free w/ community access!!) 

FREE DOWNLOADABLE GUIDEBOOK ON INTUITION VS ANXIETY

SEASON TWO TRAILER