Help Me Be Me

We often get decision paralysis or feel intense anxiety around actions that need to be taken, especially when we perceive the stakes to be high. Even if you feel like the answer is obvious it can be really hard to trust yourself, which leads many to ask others to make the decisions for them. What we often feel is a dominant fear of hurting someone else or letting go of something familiar. This intense resistance is another shape of codependency or the group of traits associated with being parentified at a young age.

This is an episode to help you move through difficult, anxiety provoking decisions even when you feel intensely ambivalent and fear mis stepping. The trick is to make decisions despite the feeling in your body – to make moves strategically based on what you conceptually KNOW is the next best thing to do.  Feeling afraid if often just our body saying “this is going to cost me a lot of energy and I don’t want to go through it.” It’s an energy-saving resistance and not reflective of the actual pain that this thing will cause. This is an episode to help you walk through something that your body is currently resisting. What we think will happen if we move through hard stuff is that it will take a long time or we will lose control and or stop functioning. While triggering moves can stir the muck of our pond, they also lighten us and free us up: they grow our muscles and strengths as we evolve in our lives. This has a lot of tools and ways to come back home to self: come from love, use your own best thinking, let the rest go.

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How to ensure your life is conducive to empowerment and love. It can all end tomorrow – how are you living, today? If you are feeling anxious and overwhelmed, this is for cleansing and correcting your energy – becoming more deliberate in that embodiment.

The goal for me in this episode is to remind you that you have a hand in resetting your focus and your energy and that that presence/how you show up absolutely affects the world around you. Is your life set up for your nervous system? Remember to be responsible in setting boundaries that honor you in your life. Only take in what keeps you active and powerful and channeling your energy toward the good. Today I know what activates me/what I can take in, and I also respect what overwhelms me to the point of incapacitation/what I cannot take in. Be very deliberate in how you welcome things into your psyche: watch what does good and what does not.

I also want to remind you to have hope and to remain open to possibilities: we cannot see the future, from today right now. We cannot know all that will be and we will be a different person with different priorities when the future arrives. Sending love!

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Hungryroot: Hungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life.

Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit

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This is about how we can come to a sense of comfort in our bodies and psyche, feel more aligned and at home in our life, versus at the mercy of it. It’s really easy to set up systems in our lives that betray our truest wishes for our souls. You might find that the life you have set up brings tons of stress to your body, makes you feel overwhelmed for a large majority of your week, or takes you out of quality time with your loved ones. I think we only get glimpses of this truth when we are having a panic attack, or almost done with vacation, or have the Sunday scaries: it’s that looking down the barrel of the future feeling where you think, “When will all the overwhelm end??” The things we do to ourselves can be abusive, to say the least. For you that betrayal might be in the area of peace, self-respect, bodily peace, or simply a calm mind and nervous system.

In this episode I am offering you a reflection and reset for You on You. Reframing the way you move through your life can be simple: it comes down to acknowledging and addressing your inner view of what’s working and not working. This understanding can alter the trajectory of how you move forward in small but profound ways. You on You is also a relationship: a friendship, and one that can be repaired with a few simple tweaks and intentionality.

Support this week’s sponsors:

Vionic Shoes: vionicshoes.com and use code HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your entire order when you log into your account. 1 time use only.

Gabb: Gabb.com/HELPMEBEME - Protecting your kids has never been easier. For the best deals, sign up today – no contract required

Hungryroot: Hungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life.

Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit

Acorns Early: acornsearly.com/helpmebeme or download the Acorns Early app to get started. Sign up now and your first month is on us!

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This episode is all about knowing how to reward your inner self as you move through the world. It's about having a sense of our own spiritual and egoic priorities and ensuring we respect that truth at all times. If we don't do this, we end up feeling anxious, empty, numb, disconnected, and not liking ourselves. As we advance through life stages, our needs change, and we need to tune in to see what is true for us, then take steps to honor that truth.

We need to stay present and fulfilled, remaining conscious in the creation of our life. This requires us to stay really aware of old coping skills and know when we are near a personal danger zone. If you are in a place where you feel anxious, empty, numb, disconnected, and not liking yourself, know that the path to renewal, growth, and energy is actually tapping into the underbelly of what you have pushed down. Ask yourself, "What am I hiding from? What am I not listening to?" We need to make contact again so we can restore that connection. If we don't, it grows increasingly more persistent, making us feel we are violating ourselves. I call this splitting from ourselves. This is an invitation to reconnect and tap into what will ultimately make you thrive.

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Chewy: chewy.com/podhelpmebeme to save $20 on your first order with free shipping

Vionic Shoes: vionicshoes.com and use code HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your entire order when you log into your account. 1 time use only.

Gabb Wireless: gabb.com/helpmebeme for the best deals, no contract required

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Even if you’ve done a lot of work on yourself, feel confident and seated in yourself, there can be new situations when you recon with an unexpected and uncomfortable need to please or be liked by others that even if you disagree with it logically– can betray your intellect. This is a response that is often triggered by new social situations or conditions that remove you from your definition of self. It might happen when you’re entering a tightknit group that is not based in “who you are” or grow slowly in a situation where you are not aligned with the core group. Regardless it feels disconcerting and can catch you off-guard asking “What is happening??” I’ll call it 'the pleasing trigger.’

The feeling that we have to fit in and be liked can be intense and desperate, one that is triggered at any age– often when we are in a new forced social situation like a new professional sphere. Know that if this is happening to you it’s not because you are weak or unevolved, it’s because you are wired the way all humans are wired. These milestones when we feel the need to fit in might be when we are entering a life stage that is new with a new social group.

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Gabb

Gabb is offering twenty-five dollars off any device—with no contract required. Just go to Gabb.com/HELPMEBEME to get started. Terms and conditions apply.

Prolon

Just in time for the new year, Prolon is offering Help Me Be Me listeners FIFTEEN PERCENT off their 5-day nutrition program for your post-holiday glow-up when you go to ProlonLife.com/HELPMEBEME

Vionic

Use code HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your entire order at www.vionicshoes.com when you log into your account. 1 time use only.

Lume

As a special offer for listeners, new customers GET 15% ALL Lume products with our exclusive code - Use code HELPMEBEME for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com

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I think one primal fear inherent in ego is that we are somehow inadequate, that we are unworthy and need to stave off this possible truth. The other side of this coin is an expectation that we can and should be perfect. Which is not only impossible and false, but also a harmful ideal even if it were attainable. It’s based in a belief that perfect is good. That fear of being inadequate is also the hidden truth that causes a lot of reactivity, judginess, defensiveness, and also increases our need for “stuff” – the drive of materialism is often a belief that we need something to feel whole, powerful and better than.  This is an episode about working with that in particular.

When we work with this block of unworthiness– by looking into it, we get a bit closer to ourselves and we grow in our personal experience of wholeness, peace, joy, love and connection to others. Our love reservoir grows more expansive.

Support this week’s sponsors!

Chewy

Right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to chewy.com/podhelpmebeme

Minimum purchase required. New customers only. Terms and conditions apply. See site for complete details.

BetterHelp

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme today to get 10% off your first month.

Lume

As a special offer for listeners, new customers get 15% ALL Lume products with our exclusive code - and if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starter pack, that equals over 40% off their Starter Pack! Use code HELPMEBEME for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com

VionicShoes

Use code HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your entire order at www.vionicshoes.com when you log into your account. 1 time use only.

And this is the Telepathy Tapes podcast I mentioned:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-telepathy-tapes/id1766382649

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If you woke up one day and feel like “I don’t really like myself,” this is for you. Self-respect is not just about having an air of confidence as you interact with others, it’s also being respectful to yourself, internally. As a means to get to this place, I wanted to offer you a simple prescription: think of your body and what I’ll call your dominant thought narrative as being a wise, second self. A friendly and compassionate voice. This second self can aid you and ground you as you move through the chatter that is your anxiety or perhaps at times negative chatter and self-analysis. We have to learn how to become a consistent friend to ourselves and that is how we start to really like who we are, regardless of the external. Like meeting a new friend, this can start at any time in your life – it just requires a commitment.

This episode is also about when we cannot get to a particular behavior change – seeing that there is a block behind that: a blindness to a lie we are believing. These “feelings stones” create misalignments and block us from actualizing change because we can’t see where we are unable to accept something as true. I have an example from my own life to explain this better – for me that misalignment is blowing up at my kids/how i feel about that and why I have been unable to stop.

This is the book Chatter that I mentioned: https://amzn.to/4gj4Tyf

Support this week’s sponsors!

Prolon

Just in time for the new year, Prolon is offering Help Me Be Me listeners FIFTEEN PERCENT off their 5-day nutrition program for your post-holiday glow-up when you go to ProlonLife.com/HELPMEBEME

Gabb

Gabb is offering twenty-five dollars off any device—with no contract required. Just go to Gabb.com/HELPMEBEME to get started. Terms and conditions apply.

Chewy

Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to Chewy.com/podhelpmebeme Minimum purchase required. New customers only. Terms and conditions apply. See site for complete details.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ready to take a fresh path to self-discovery? Every Monday, Jemma of “The Psychology of your 20s” brings you a new mantra, breaking it down to show you how you can apply it to your own life. Whether you’re facing a major transition or looking to evolve your everyday routine, Mantra is the podcast for you. Join Jemma every week for reflections, practical tips, and personal insights that’ll inspire you to live with intention and unlock your true potential. Follow Mantra with Jemma Sbeg wherever you get your podcasts.

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‘Easy does it’ is a pretty great Alanon slogan, best used in times of stress or overwhelm when we find ourselves on the backfoot or grasping for control. What is most challenging about moving through any state of disaster (natural or personal) is the lack of ability to think– often when we are being faced with so much information, so quickly. ‘Easy does it’ is a path back to feeling grounded and safe in self. If you are suffering right now – from the loss of your home or from the loss of a partner or something else, this is a reminder that we can only take on as much as we can handle and sometimes the best thing we can do is slow down and take some of the pressure off of ourselves so we can return to the situation from a more resourced position. When we get into that energy of forcing solutions, that’s a little flag reminding us we need to come home to our breathing and be extra kind and gentle with ourselves. We may not be able to solve every problem in the time we wish to solve it in and some problems are not ours to solve.

This episode started as a reflection for the new year and it has evolved into something more nurturing. I and so many I love have been affected by the wildfires in California, it has been difficult to focus, but I am posting this in the hopes that it soothes someone who needs soothing. Sending love to anyone suffering right now. You are in my prayers. Xo

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BetterHelp

Become the author of your story, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/helpmebeme today to get 10% off your first month.

AG1

AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You’ll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box. Make sure to check out DrinkAG1.com/HELPMEBEME to get this offer! Start your new year on a healthier note.

And if you’re looking to do some good for a person you don’t know, in need:

GoFundMe CA Wildfire Relief

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Hi friends! Happy new year! This is a clips show with some inspirational vibes for you to kick off your year– it includes excerpts from the following episodes. Enjoy xo

192  Changing your life: remembering a sense of possibility

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-192-changing-your-life-remembering-a-sense/id895918183?i=1000602016701

193 Getting in the energy path of change

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000602016701

201 Working with the energy of scarcity – choosing fulfilment

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000619419445

185 Getting out of your own way

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000587178584

200 Getting back into the energy of limitlessness

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000617776780

Smile! And visit YayWithMe.com for more of my work

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