New research from the University of Otago shows that early bedtimes for pre-schoolers are not vital for healthy development, as long as they are getting enough sleep.

New research from the University of Otago shows that early bedtimes for pre-schoolers are not vital for healthy development, as long as they are getting enough sleep.

A number of studies in older children have found a correlation between later bedtimes and the risk of developing obesity.

The Otago study, led by Dr Melyssa Roy, from the Department of Medicine, is one of the first to examine whether a connection exists from an early age.

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Brain researcher, parenting coach and founder of X-Factor Education, Nathan Wallis, explains how the brain develops from newborn to adult. Why do male and female brains grow differently, what hinders and promotes brain growth, and what are warning signs for parents if a child isn't developing normally?

Even before birth, babies are busily data-gathering, says brain researcher, parenting coach and founder of X-Factor Education, Nathan Wallis.

He tells Kathryn Ryan how parents can support young children through the four stages of brain development.

Listen to the full interview

"Even in the womb already starting to gather information about what sort of environment it's going into. If mum's getting foot-rubs and cups of tea brought to her and having a good old time she's releasing endorphins into her bloodstream.

"Those endorphins are positive hormones and they basically flood the womb and they tell the baby .... Whoa, it's pretty bliss out there!"

If the baby knows that the mum is in a good place, it can get ready for "those higher intellect things", Wallis says.

However, the opposite is the case with a stressed mother.

"Even if there's no violence present, just her worrying about perhaps violence is going to happen, that releases the stress hormone cortisol.

"Cortisol washes over the baby and tells the baby it's a pretty hostile environment out there, I better start getting ready for survival mode."

While some midwives refer to the first year of a baby's life as the "golden year", when it comes to brain development the first 1,000 days are critical, he says.

"In the research, we can predict so many of your adult outcomes form the age of one.

"The baby's got its own consciousness, they're born with a temperament, but it's like you've arrived into a spaceship, you've got no idea how to fly the spaceship - the spaceship is the human body."

In year one, the baby just needs to feel safe, Wallis says.

"In lots of ways in the first year of life, the parents' job is to make that child feel secure.

"Your job in the first year of life is to treat the baby like they are the centre of the universe - you are their slave!"

The four brains

1. the 'survival brain' keeps us alive, keeps our heart beating and is home to the fight, flight or freeze response

2. the 'movement brain' is our centre for movement and co-ordination

3. the 'mammal brain' is where feelings and emotions come from

4. the 'thinking and learning brain' is what enables us to read, write and control emotions …

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How do you figure out what sort of career to work towards? How do you know what to study to get there? And what if you choose a course or job you don't like? Self-knowledge is the best prerequisite for figuring out a career path, says professional advisor Caroline Sandford.

How do you figure out what sort of career to work towards? How do you know what to study to get there? And what if you choose a course or job you don't like?

Self-knowledge is the best prerequisite for figuring out a career path, says professional advisor Caroline Sandford.

She's written a practical book to help 15 to 25 year old New Zealanders and their parents explore these questions - Love Your Career From the Start.

Listen to Caroline Sandford on Nine to Noon

The first step is for young people to get to know themselves - understand what's important to them and the environments in which they seem to work best, she tells Kathryn Ryan.

"There are particular roles they will naturally gravitate to - leadership roles, being a good supporter, whether they thrive in a group situation or are better by themselves. All those things are part of who they are. So when they tune into that and get an understanding of where they are the best ... they can make better decisions for themselves."

Very few people of any age can actually make a list of their own values, but identifying your own will help you direct you towards a career, she says.

Besides understanding who you are, the next big step is what Sanford calls 'reality testing'.

This is something parents can help their kids with - but she wants them not to stamp on their kid's dreams.

"It's hugely important not to be judgmental and say 'don't be stupid, everyone wants to do that, let's get real' because what you're going to do is close down that conversation... you want to keep that open. 'Tell me what you know about it, tell me what you need to do to get into that, how can we find out more?'"

It's helpful to find someone doing the job you think you might like to do and find out about their reality. Ask them about their industry and the training people usually do to get into it.

"As a parent, if you can expose your children to as many opportunities, as many real-life situations as possible to open up their eyes to the reality of work... then you're giving them a real gift. Because they then have some understanding of what it really looks like ."

Keep the big picture in mind, too…

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Sleeping better in pregnancy - a guide to sleep health for NZ Women is the latest research from Massey University's internationally renowned Sleep/Wake Research Centre. It's a trimester-by-trimester guide to managing expectations about sleep, and a tool kit for getting a good night's rest. Sleep/Wake Associate Professor Leigh Signal and PhD student Clare Ladyman, who came up with the idea for the book, speak with Kathryn Ryan.

Sleeping better in pregnancy - a guide to sleep health for NZ Women is the latest research from Massey University's internationally renowned Sleep/Wake Research Centre. It's a trimester-by-trimester guide to managing expectations about sleep, and a tool kit for getting a good night's rest. Sleep/Wake Associate Professor Leigh Signal and PhD student Clare Ladyman, who came up with the idea for the book, speak with Kathryn Ryan.

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When a child is telling you about something that's bothering them, don't rush in with advice, says parenting consultant Joseph Driessen. It's a skill that can take some practise, but 'reflective listening' - in which you reflect back to your child what they're saying - is a better approach, he tells Lynn Freeman.

When a child is telling you about something that's bothering them, don't rush in with advice, says parenting coach Joseph Driessen.

It's a skill that can take some practise, but 'reflective listening' - in which you reflect back to your child what they're saying - is a better approach, he tells Lynn Freeman.

Listen to Joseph Driessen on Nine to Noon

Some people see emotions as taboo or frightening and shut people down when they're expressing how they feel, Driessen says.

So the first and most important thing to do when your child is telling you about something that's upset them? Stop talking and start listening.

Work towards putting aside how you feel about what your child saying and instead of interrupting them, repeat back what they've said as accurately as possible.

If you allow your child to explore and unpack their own feelings for themselves, they will feel more relaxed, he says.

"As the child feels you're not reacting, they become more at peace."

Rather than offering solutions, ask your child what they see as possible solutions and what advice they could give themselves, Driessen suggests.

This enables them to look at their own experience in a more detached way and discover their own wisdom.

Reflective listening can be very effective in all kinds of relationships, Driessen says, and can help build trust between romantic partners and coworkers.

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For parents of picky eaters, mealtimes can turn the kitchen table into more of a battleground.

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How can parents find the delicate balance between helping a child with their homework, and overhelping - or even doing it for them! Kathryn speaks with Monash University education lecturer Melissa Barnes, who has analysed more than 400 research studies on the topic.

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Wellington speech and language therapist Christian Wright joins Lynn to talk about question development in pre-schoolers as they try to understand the world around them.

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Senior Researcher at the New Zealand Council for Educational Research, Mohamed Alansari with what parents can expect for their childrens' learning in modern classroom layouts.

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Yvonne Godrey is a family coach and the Founder and Director of MIOMO (making it on my own) transitioning teens to adults.

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