Sextortion, kids being groomed online, nudes being sent around kids, who should be blamed for that? Sex therapist Jo Robertson has advice about how to have those tricky chats with children and teens.

Sextortion, kids being groomed online, nudes being sent around kids, who should be blamed for that?

Sex therapist Jo Robertson has advice about how to have those tricky chats with children and teens.

Just last week police asked Taranaki intermediate and high schools to warn students about internet safety - this followed a student being extorted for money after sending nude photographs.

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If you ever ask a teenager what they're going to do after high school, you may notice them recoil. For many students in their final years of school this is an anxiety-inducing question. Career Coach Tracey Beard says that if we really want to help, we need to re-think 'the career conversation'. Tracey is the CEO, what she calls 'the chief encouragement officer', at Career Matters, a coaching service for students and caregivers.

If you ever ask a teenager what they're going to do after high school, you may notice them recoil.

For many students in their final years of school this is an anxiety-inducing question.

Career Coach Tracey Beard says that if we really want to help, we need to re-think 'the career conversation'.

Tracey is the CEO, what she calls 'the chief encouragement officer', at Career Matters, a coaching service for students and caregivers.

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Bestselling author and psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg talks to Kathryn about creating and fostering the grandparent-grandchild relationship. Throughout time it has been a special relationship, but as lives get busier, retirement age stretches out and technology absorbs children - we're looking at key ways to navigate the complexities of connecting and staying in touch. Dr Carr-Gregg's latest book Grandparents - is a practical guide to navigating being a Nana or Grandad.

Parenting : Harmonious grandparenting

Bestselling author and psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg talks to Kathryn about creating and fostering the grandparent-grandchild relationship. Throughout time it has been a special relationship, but as lives get busier, retirement age stretches out and technology absorbs children - we're looking at key ways to navigate the complexities of connecting and staying in touch. Dr Carr-Gregg's latest book Grandparents - is a practical guide to navigating being a Nana or Grandad.

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Parents often say they never stop worrying about their offspring. But how does parenting change as your children become adults? Are today's adult children more dependent on their elders for longer? What is the roadmap for parents here? Neuroplasticity educator and parenting expert, father and grandfather, Nathan Wallis joins Kathryn.

Parents often say they never stop worrying about their offspring.

But how does parenting change as your children become adults?

Are today's adult children more dependent on their elders for longer?

What is the roadmap for parents here? Neuroplasticity educator and parenting expert, father and grandfather, Nathan Wallis joins Kathryn.

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When a teen lacks confidence in studying for their exams, a "leadership nudge" from a supportive parent becomes essential, says parenting coach Joseph Driessen.

When a teen lacks confidence in studying for their exams, a "leadership nudge" from a supportive parent becomes essential, says parenting coach Joseph Driessen.

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Preparing for exams is quite different to absorbing knowledge at school on a day-to-day basis, he tells Kathryn Ryan.

The first question to ask a teen with exams on the way is how they feel about them, he says.

If you get a nondescript answer ask a "more interesting" question about their potential results: "What mark do you think you could actually get if you could get the best mark possible from working really hard?"

Going through the subjects individually and asking whether they reckon they could get Excellence, Merit or Achieved in each one is a good way to bring a young person's perceptions of their own abilities to the surface, Driessen says.

"The very fact that you're interested and sitting down talking, kind of saying 'tell us what do you think you could get?' gets that feeling out in the open.

"It's surprising how accurate children actually are in their assessment of where they're at because they've been sitting and working for three full years. They've realised that some of their neighbours find it easy to get really great marks, other neighbours are really struggling."

Get on the same page

The next question to ask is, Driessen says, how much study time the teen thinks it will take to achieve the academic result they're going for.

To do this, you can look at the texts and resources together to see what they really need to know from each - i.e. all 12 chapters of such-and-such a textbook or just five of them.

Then you need to work out when are they going to actually do the study, he says.

If they do half an hour of homework every night normally, ahead of exams you could suggest this goes up to an hour and a half, including an hour for revision. If that sounds like a lot, it could be split up into smaller bits - half an hour before dinner, half an hour after dinner and half an hour before bed or early in the morning.

"Just relax and talk it through and say, well, let's, let's see if we can make a plan on how to do that. Some kids are really great, they just write a little masterplan of when they're going to do it or when they're going to start."…

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Tweens may pull out "teenager moves" but they are not the new teenagers, says parenting educator Michelle Mitchell. As nine-to-twelve-year-olds learn how to respond to the world, they need strong guidance and supervision, she tells Kathryn Ryan. "They're very much looking to adults to give them practical tangible strategies to get them through the day."

Tweens may pull out "teenager moves" but they are not the new teenagers, says parenting educator Michelle Mitchell.

As nine-to-twelve-year-olds learn how to respond to the world, they need strong guidance and supervision, she tells Kathryn Ryan.

"They're very much looking to adults to give them practical tangible strategies to get them through the day."

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Michelle Mitchell is the author of Tweens: what kids need NOW before the teenage years.

As parents, it can be easy to neglect tweens because they are often "a bit more easygoing" than kids of other ages, Mitchell says.

Sibling rivalry and jealousy can be evidence that they need a bit more attention, though.

"When our kids start to act out, it's often because they're not seeing themselves in our diary. They need a bigger piece of our time."

Related: How to talk to stroppy tweens who know it all

Puberty is not just biological and not a "single event", Mitchell says. Cognitive, emotional and sexual changes are underway in the bodies and brains of tweens.

As young people develop at different rates, tween insecurity is often displayed in the sensitive realm of friendship.

To empower children of this age to feel confident making their own decisions about how to respond to issues with friends, Mitchell offers phrases like 'Space solves most things' and 'Let's leave margin for error'.

The process of building a positive body image in a developing body also comes with challenges that are 'normal', she says.

"Because their body is feeling and changing and it's becoming obvious to them that things are on the move, can be expressed through their body image so often."

To help kids avoid falling into a "comparison trap", Mitchell recommends parents encourage them to focus on what's good about their bodies - and also demonstrate a positive relationship with their own.

"Us modelling a love for our body is obviously huge and influential because they are so responsive, adaptive and open to our influence at this age."

In the years between 9 and 12, curiosity is heightened across the board, Mitchell says…

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Mohamed Alansari, senior researcher for the New Zealand Council for Educational Research joins Kathryn to talk about how to improve outcomes for growing Te Reo Maori in schools. Which schools are doing it well - and what practices could other schools learn from them? He highlights research from a new report.

Mohamed Alansari, senior researcher for the New Zealand Council for Educational Research joins Kathryn to talk about how to improve outcomes for growing Te Reo Māori in schools.

Which schools are doing it well - and what practices could other schools learn from them? He highlights research from a new report.

Text books for Te Reo Māori in schools.

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Speech and language therapist Christian Wright talks to Kathryn about what parents can do to stimulate pre-schoolers language development. We'll also look at how to identify when there might be delays in development.

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Are you struggling with your child's tantrums? Michael Hempseed is encouraging parents to rethink tantrums and anger, and instead of punishing a child for lashing out, he says it's vital to understand the root cause of the behaviour. Michael Hempseed is the director of Frontiers of Hope, a specialist mental health service in Christchurch, and has worked with Dame Sue Bagshaw for many years at Te Tahi Youth, the youth health centre that she founded. Together they have written Calming Your Child: De-escalating Tantrums, Anxiety, Aggression and Other Challenging Behaviours. Kathryn talks to Michael about their tips for de-escalating tantrums, as well as exploring the possible causes behind problem-behaviour, such as anxiety, sensory processing issues, ADHD, and autism

Are you struggling with your child's tantrums?

Michael Hempseed is encouraging parents to rethink tantrums and anger, and instead of punishing a child for lashing out, he says it's vital to understand the root cause of the behaviour.

Michael Hempseed is the director of Frontiers of Hope, a specialist mental health service in Christchurch, and has worked with Dame Sue Bagshaw for many years at Te Tahi Youth, the youth health centre that she founded.

Together they have written Calming Your Child: De-escalating Tantrums, Anxiety, Aggression and Other Challenging Behaviours.

Kathryn talks to Michael about their tips for de-escalating tantrums, as well as exploring the possible causes behind problem-behaviour, such as anxiety, sensory processing issues, ADHD, and autism

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Susie discusses the the thorny issue of limiting screentime for children with Dave Atkinson from the Parenting Place, and how do deal with the fallout from that.

Susie discusses the the thorny issue of limiting screentime for children with Dave Atkinson from the Parenting Place, and how do deal with the fallout from that.

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