It's Not About the Alcohol

If you've ever reached for a glass of wine at the end of a hard day without really deciding to, this episode is going to explain exactly why that happens — and why it has nothing to do with willpower or self-control.

Your brain isn't misbehaving. It's being efficient. Over hundreds of repetitions, it has learned that alcohol is the fastest available route to nervous system relief — and it has built a neural pathway so well-worn that the decision happens before you're even conscious of it. That's not a character flaw or a lack of willpower. That's neuroscience.

In this conversation, I'm sitting back down with Victoria Star — breathwork facilitator, midlife guide, and one of the most grounded voices I know on nervous system healing — to talk about what microdosing psilocybin actually does in the brain, why so many high-achieving women are turning to plant medicine in midlife, and what any of this has to do with your relationship with alcohol.

Here's what makes this conversation different: psilocybin and alcohol operate on the same neurological terrain. They're both affecting the ratio of automatic, subconscious thinking to conscious, present-moment choice. Understanding how one works gives you a clearer picture of why the other has such a grip — and what it actually takes to loosen it.

In this episode:

• Why your brain classifies alcohol as medicine — and why that's a rational response, not a moral failing

• What microdosing psilocybin actually does neurologically (and why it's not what most people think)

• The difference between a sub-perceptual dose and a hero's journey — and why that distinction matters

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Watch The FREE Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity... Click here to schedule a discovery call About My Guest, Victoria Lee Starr:

Victoria is a Spiritual Outlaw and Midlife Midwife who guides women through the sacred season of reinvention using breathwork for transformation, guided microdosing plant medicine support, somatic ritual, and emotional excavation.

Connect with Victoria:

• Instagram & Facebook: @victorialeestarr

• Website: https://www.victorialeestarr.com/

In this minisode, Colleen explores one of the most powerful lies we tell ourselves when we feel overwhelmed or stuck:

"I don't have a choice."

It sounds practical, even responsible. But the moment you believe it, your nervous system shifts into survival mode. You feel trapped, resentful, and powerless, and that's often when the drink starts looking like relief.

Through a breakthrough coaching session, Colleen shares the story of a woman whose boundary-crossing mother lives next door and constantly invades her privacy. The stress was making her physically sick. She came looking for strategies to deal with her mom.

But the real breakthrough came when she realized the truth: she wasn't trapped… she was making a choice.

And the moment that truth landed, her nervous system settled and the solution became obvious.

Colleen also shares her own experience staying in a marriage years longer than she wanted to, and how radical honesty with herself ultimately gave her the power to change her life.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Why the belief "I don't have a choice" dysregulates your nervous system

• The difference between being trapped and making a difficult choice

• How feelings of powerlessness fuel the urge to drink

• Why radical honesty is often the first step toward real freedom

Things start to change when you stop telling yourself you have no choice.

If you're tired of feeling trapped and tired of drinking just to feel relief, then Click Here To Book A Call With Us.

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

You've been told your drinking is the problem. That if you could just control the behavior — stay sober long enough, count your days, follow the rules — the shame would go away.

But what if it's the other way around?

In this episode, Colleen gets personal about her three years of sobriety and what she discovered underneath all that "perfect behavior" — a lifetime of shame that started long before she ever picked up a bottle of wine. She breaks down why shameful behaviors come FROM shame (not the other way around), why sobriety can become just another form of performing your way around the real problem, and what actually works to break the cycle.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• The critical difference between guilt and shame — and why most women are living in shame and calling it guilt

• Why the shame driving your drinking didn't start with your drinking — it started in childhood

• How perfectionism, people-pleasing, over-functioning, and control are all shame management strategies that require more coping mechanisms like drinking

• Why sobriety motivated by shame is built on a fault line — and what happens when it cracks

• Colleen's personal story of trading one escape hatch (alcohol) for another (perfectionism and productivity addiction) — and what finally broke the pattern

Key takeaway: Your drinking isn't driving the shame cycle. Shame is driving the drinking cycle. And until you address the shame underneath, no amount of willpower, sobriety challenges, or rule-following will create lasting change.

Watch The FREE Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity... Click here to schedule a discovery call

In this episode, Colleen shares a coaching moment that started with a simple scheduling mistake and turned into a powerful lesson about belief systems.

When a client didn't get her breakthrough session as planned, she chose to see the delay differently: not as something happening to her, but something happening for her. That mindset opened the door to a deeper coaching conversation about leadership, standards, and the discomfort that comes with owning your power.

Colleen uses that moment to explore something bigger... The beliefs we carry shape how we interpret everything that happens in our lives.

Instead of assuming that delays, setbacks, or mistakes mean something has gone wrong, what if they're actually creating the exact conditions you need for the next step?

She shares three Colleen-isms that have fundamentally changed the way she moves through life:

• I am always exactly where I'm supposed to be.

• This is happening for me, not to me.

• If I didn't get what I wanted, I got what I needed.

These beliefs don't eliminate pain or difficulty. But they do transform how you experience them — shifting you out of victimhood and back into agency.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity ---> Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

What do your drinking and your bank account have in common? More than you think.

In this episode, I sit down with mindset coach and Mystic Millionaire Danielle Amos to explore the hidden connection between your money beliefs, your scarcity mindset, and why you reach for the wine at the end of the day. Danielle went from $100K in credit card debt to a million-dollar business — without a website — using the same identity and nervous system work that transforms your relationship with alcohol.

If you've ever felt stuck financially and also stuck in a drinking pattern you can't seem to break, this episode connects the dots.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why the beliefs about money that were programmed into you before age seven are running your drinking today

• How shame blocks both financial abundance and your ability to take or leave alcohol

• The difference between spending money and investing money — and how that reframe changes everything

• Why the law of opposites means setbacks are actually confirmation you're on the right track

• What happens when you stop telling yourself "I don't have enough" and start appreciating what you do have

• How identity work and nervous system regulation are the common denominator between financial freedom and freedom from alcohol

Connect with Danielle Amos: Instagram: @thedanielleamos Podcast: The Mystic Millionaire

🎥 Watch The FREE Masterclass— The Science Behind Take It or Leave It: Why Some Women Can and How You Can Too Where To Find Me:

• BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

• YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

• TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

• Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

• X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

For two years, "reduce your drinking by 80%" was my signature phrase. It's on my website, my ads, my podcast — everywhere. In this episode, I tell you why I retired it, what I replaced it with, and what this shift means for you — whether you're in my program or hearing my voice for the first time.

This is a behind-the-scenes episode pulled from Coffee with Colleen, my daily internal podcast for clients inside The Next Chapter. You'll hear me talk about how my own messaging accidentally did the thing I teach women not to do — and how catching that blind spot led to a complete rebrand, a new masterclass, and a brand new way into this work.

In this episode:

• Why "drink less" is a negative goal — and what your brain actually does with it
• The real reason it gets harder to stay on track once you feel better
• What "take it or leave it" means and why those four words change everything
• The counterintuitive first step that sets my approach apart from every other program
• New ways to work with me at every level

Links mentioned in this episode:

📞 BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL — $2,000 tuition discount on The Next Chapter expires Feb 28. As long as you book the call before the 28th, we'll honor the discount. [LINK]

🎥 Watch The FREE Masterclass— The Science Behind Take It or Leave It: Why Some Women Can and How You Can Too [LINK]

🎧 Get the Starter Bundle ($444) — RISE + Skills for Mindful Drinking. The complete Take It or Leave It methodology. Nothing held back. [LINK]

Know someone who needs to hear this? Send her this episode. You don't have to say anything — just send the link.

Most women measure alcohol consumption by how much and how often they drink. But the research says the most important predictor of whether your drinking becomes a real problem isn't about the amount you drink — it's why you drink.

In this episode, I tell the story of the exact day I became a daily drinker — and why I didn't even know it happened. I break down the neuroscience of why drinking to reduce stress is the fast pass to addiction, even if you're not drinking more than anyone else.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why your reason for drinking matters more than how much you drink

• The neurological shift that turns a social drinker into a dependent one — and why it's invisible from the outside

• How your brain works like an algorithm that quietly narrows your options one drink at a time

• The science of why alcohol actually creates stress instead of relieving it (and the cortisol cycle that explains your 3am wake-up)

• Why "tolerance" isn't a flex — it's a symptom of something you need to understand

• The litmus test that reveals whether you can actually take it or leave it

• What the largest study of its kind (43,000+ people) says about how fast stress drinkers develop dependence

If this episode resonated with you:

Watch The FREE Masterclass → The science of take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too.

Book A FREE Discovery Call→ It's not a sales pitch. It's a coaching conversation to help you figure out where you are, where you want to be, and how to get there. Right now through February 28th, I'm offering $2,000 off of my year-long program, The Next Chapter.

I've never done a discount like this and I won't be doing one again.

Connect with me:

• Watch The FREE Masterclass

• BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

• YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

• TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

• Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

• X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

✦ February Bonus ✦

Join The Next Chapter by February 28, 2026 and receive $2,000 off.

In this episode, Colleen reframes one of the biggest misunderstandings about drinking: it's not one behavior — it's a collection of hundreds of habits shaped by context, environment, relationships, and emotional states.

Many women believe their drinking defines who they are because they identify with their worst moments. But emotional sobriety requires a more nuanced understanding. The way you drink when you're alone may be completely different from how you drink socially, with family, or during high-stimulation environments — and each context activates different neural pathways, roles, and protective patterns.

Colleen shares a personal example from a recent holiday gathering where old habits resurfaced despite years of progress. Instead of interpreting it as failure, she approached it as data — an opportunity to reconnect with a younger protective part of herself and practice intentional, mindful drinking strategies.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Why drinking is not one habit, but hundreds of context-driven behaviors

• How identifying with your worst drinking moments keeps you stuck

• Why old neural pathways don't disappear — they reactivate in familiar environments

• The difference between mindful drinking and autopilot drinking

• How roles and code-switching influence alcohol use around specific people

• Why positive goals ("drink mindfully") work better than avoidance goals ("don't overdo it")

Click here to Book A Discovery Call. Enroll before February 28, 2026 and receive $2,000 off! Calls book up fast. Don't miss your chance!

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

You think your cravings are a willpower problem. They're not. You think if you could just think differently, you'd drink differently. And that's exactly why nothing has worked.

In this episode, I'm breaking down why the urge to drink starts in your body — not your brain — and giving you three red flags that your drinking is actually a symptom of something most high-achieving women refuse to look at.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• The litmus test that reveals whether you can actually "take it or leave it" (be honest with yourself on this one)

• Why saying you're "not an emotional person" is the most dangerous thing you can believe about yourself

• Three everyday behaviors that are quietly dysregulating your nervous system — and setting you up to overdrink by evening

• The science of why you can't stop at two (it's called the biphasic line, and once you understand it, everything clicks)

• Why you wake up at 3am full of self-loathing — and why that voice isn't really you

• What's actually happening in your body between 6am and 6pm that makes evening-you a completely different person than morning-you

• Why "trying harder" is aimed at the wrong part of your brain

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

In this episode, Colleen continues sharing takeaways from her retreat with Dr. Amanda Hanson (midlifemuse) — and she names something that sits underneath so much of women's drinking, overgiving, perfectionism, and burnout: conditioning.

Not just childhood conditioning — cultural conditioning.

Colleen explains how patriarchy functions like an invisible rulebook: the expectations women follow without ever agreeing to them. Be good. Be pleasant. Be grateful. Don't be angry. Don't be too much. Don't embarrass anyone. Don't need too much. Don't take up space. Don't make people uncomfortable.

And over time, those rules don't just shape behavior — they create trauma. They train women to silence their truth, distrust their instincts, and prioritize everyone else's emotional experience over their own. And when a woman is disconnected from her needs, her voice, and her power, escapism becomes inevitable.

That's why Colleen connects this conversation directly to emotional sobriety: freedom isn't just about alcohol. It's about ending self-abandonment, taking radical ownership of your emotional life, and becoming the kind of woman who can handle discomfort without shrinking, pleasing, or numbing.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• How culture trains women to abandon themselves to stay safe

• Why patriarchy is a trauma system, not a debate topic

• How women unconsciously enforce the rules by judging other women

• Why "going along to get along" is survival, not character

• How escapism becomes the nervous system's only outlet

• Why emotional sobriety requires self-trust more than self-control

• The reframe: not "tear it down," but rise into power

This is a reminder that you're not here to become a "better woman."

You're here to become a Free woman.

You don't need to be "ready." You just need to be honest with yourself about where you are. Start With A Discovery Call ~ CLICK HERE.

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc