You know what you need to do. So why can't you get yourself to do it?

Because you've been waiting for motivation to show up—like it's some mysterious force that either finds you or it doesn't. But motivation isn't magic. It's dopamine. And dopamine follows rules.

In this episode, I'm breaking down exactly how dopamine works in your brain, why your current approach to drinking less is actually making it harder, and how to reverse-engineer your goals so that the actions you need to take feel rewarding instead of punishing.

This isn't about willpower. It's about becoming someone who genuinely wants to do the things that lead to drinking less—because you've trained your brain to find them pleasurable.

In this episode, I cover:

→ The two reasons dopamine fires—and how to use both to your advantage

→ The difference between intrinsic motivation (sustainable) and shame-based motivation (not)

→ Why overwhelm is the primary obstacle to change—and what it's really telling you

→ How to break one "habit" into the hundred smaller habits it actually contains

→ The delay don't deny strategy—and why it backfires if you're doing it wrong

→ Six specific examples of thoughts and behaviors that leverage dopamine around drinking

→ Why the goal isn't to drink less—it's to enjoy the upstream actions that cause you to drink less

→ How to use your body as a bullshit detector for your own thinking

→ The compound interest of small changes and how momentum builds over time

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

In this episode, Colleen breaks down a moment almost every woman in this work has experienced: when your body makes a decision before your conscious mind even knows what happened. A glass of wine ordered on autopilot. No craving. No plan. Just habit taking the wheel.

Using a real travel story, she explains why this isn't a moral failure, a hidden self-saboteur, or proof you "can't be trusted." It's a nervous system under pressure doing exactly what it was trained to do. When overwhelm rises and capacity drops, habits step in to conserve energy — fast.

She'll walk you through how dopamine wires behavior, why old reward pathways stay available even after years of awareness, and how hindsight is where real learning happens. Instead of shame, she shows you how to process these moments with curiosity, translate impulsive behavior into emotional data, and use it as a signal for what you actually need: relief, space, safety, freedom.

This episode reframes "slips" as feedback — not failure — and teaches you how to respond in a way that builds trust with yourself instead of breaking it.

• Why habits take over when you're overwhelmed — even without conscious desire • How dopamine pins powerful emotional memories and reactivates them under stress • Why impulse doesn't mean weakness — it means capacity was exceeded • The difference between wanting a drink and wanting relief • How to process behavior after the fact so your nervous system can actually learn • Why shame reinforces old patterns — and curiosity dissolves them • How emotional sobriety turns hindsight into forward momentum

This is a reminder that growth doesn't happen by avoiding mistakes — it happens by knowing how to metabolize them.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Transcript

If you've been stuck in a job that's slowly draining you—and using wine to cope with the Sunday scaries—this episode is your permission slip to start thinking about what's next.

Career coach Michelle Schafer has been through two major career reinventions herself, and she's spent the last decade helping people figure out what they actually want and build a plan to get there. But here's what makes this conversation different: we get into the real stuff. The limiting beliefs that keep you playing small. The shame that makes you hide your job loss from your own family. And the tactical, right-now advice on how to use AI to actually get hired—without getting screened out by the same technology.

This episode is for you if:

• You're languishing in a job that's draining you but feel too stuck to move

• You've been numbing the career dissatisfaction with wine and wondering if there's another way

• You're curious about using AI in your job search but don't know where to start

• You've been applying to jobs and hearing nothing back

• You need a kick in the ass to stop overthinking and start taking action

Connect with Michelle on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelleschafercoaching/

Free offer #1: A free chapter from Michelle's book - sign up here: https://mschafercoaching.ca/cultivatingcareergrowth/

Free offer #2: Download the reflection tool Career Focus Framework here: https://mschafercoaching.ca/gain-clarity-and-confidence-in-your-job-search/

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Transcript

Why do we buy gifts we can't afford for people who don't need them and over-schedule ourselves to the point where we only have the energy to drink and complain about how stressed we are?

This episode is dedicated to your inner rebel—the part of you that wants to pour a drink, flip the bird, and Thelma-and-Louise yourself out of the insanity. Because she's not the problem. She's the part of you that knows something is wrong.

I'm also sharing how I've completely reinvented Christmas in my own family over the last 10+ years—no gifts, no stress, no obligation—and what I'm doing this year to create connection and joy.

🔑 Key Takeaways

→ The "waiting room" social experiment that reveals our true nature

→ Why the real culprit is your inner rule follower who can't tolerate going against the group

→ The evolution of my family's approach to Christmas gifts (and why my kids love it)

→ How to accept a gift without feeling obligated to reciprocate

→ How to audit your schedule, budget, and obligations—and have the courage to opt out

This episode is for you if:

• You're stressed and overwhelmed because "tis the season"

• You're on track to wake up broke and hungover in January

• You've been numbing your way through the holidays instead of enjoying them

• You're ready to stop following rules that weren't designed for your happiness

• Your inner rebel deserves more than another drink

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Transcript

Katie Herzog spent 15 years trying everything: AA, therapy, CBT, SMART Recovery, moderation management, swapping booze for weed. Nothing stuck. And in the back of her mind, she always knew she'd start drinking again. It was just a question of when.

Then she found the Sinclair Method—a protocol where you take a medication called naltrexone, wait an hour, and drink. It sounds too simple. It sounds like cheating. But is it? Katie's been completely sober for three years.

In this conversation, we dig into the science of how naltrexone rewires your brain, why the first three months don't look like much, and why realistic expectations might be the most important factor in whether this works for you.

In this episode, we cover:

→ Katie's 15-year journey through AA, therapy, misdiagnosis, and desperation—and why the idea that abstinence is the only path kept her stuck for years

→ What the Sinclair Method actually is and how naltrexone blocks the endorphin rush that makes drinking feel good

→ The difference between "reward drinkers" and "relief drinkers"—and who TSM is best suited for

→ Why Katie's first attempt with naltrexone failed (and what she did differently the second time)

→ AND MUCH MUCH MORE.

This episode is for you if:

• You've tried AA or other programs and they didn't stick

• The idea of "never drinking again" feels impossible

• You're curious about medication-assisted approaches but don't know where to start

• You're exhausted by the mental chatter—always thinking about drinking whether you're drinking or not

• You want to understand ALL the options, not just the abstinence-only path

About the book: Drink Your Way Sober: A Science-Based Method to Break Free from Alcohol releases September 30th and is available on Amazon and at independent bookstores.

Connect with Katie Herzog:

• Website: drinkyourwaysober.com

• Podcast: Blocked and Reported

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Transcript

In this episode, Colleen speaks directly to the women who live and die by the checklist, the ones who can run circles around everyone else at work, keep ten plates spinning at home, and still collapse into bed wondering why they feel exhausted, behind, and overwhelmed. If you're a high-achiever who secretly depends on stress chemistry to function, this one is going to land.

Colleen breaks down why the "box-checking brain" is so addicted to dopamine, adrenaline, and cortisol… and why that system eventually stops working. You'll hear how even the most capable women fall into the dopamine trap: chasing the almost done feeling, attaching worth to productivity, and burning themselves out while ignoring their actual needs.

But instead of asking you to slow down, shrink your life, or pretend to be someone who "can't handle much," she shows you how to work at a higher level. A way of operating that protects your nervous system, restores clarity, and still lets you be a woman who gets things done.

• Why high-achieving, Type-A women confuse adrenaline with capability • How the dopamine trap keeps you chasing productivity but never feeling satisfied • The difference between what your brain "wants" and what your body actually needs • Why a new job, new schedule, or new boss won't create lasting relief • The five steps to building an emotionally sober checklist that actually restores capacity • How values-based decisions rewire your motivation from the inside out • Why internal validation is the only sustainable path to feeling accomplished and at peace

This episode is a reminder that you don't need to do less to feel better — you need to anchor yourself in who you're becoming. When you shift your checklist from achievement to alignment, you stop chasing worth and start embodying it.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Transcript

In this episode, Colleen shares a real moment from her life a few weeks ago. The kind of moment everybody encounters but rarely names. On a Thursday flight, she felt calm, grounded, and uninterested in drinking at all. Forty-eight hours later, on the way out of New York, she couldn't wait for the flight attendant to serve her Chardonnay. Nothing "mysterious" happened in between. Her capacity changed.

She unpacks how travel, lost work, accumulated stress, and zero real recovery time pushed her from a green-light nervous system into overwhelm — and how quickly old neural pathways stepped in to compensate. This isn't a story about self-control. It's a lesson in how the brain protects you when you've ignored your own needs for too long.

You'll hear what drinking too much actually signals, why overwhelm is a physiological state (not a character flaw), and what changes when you stop treating your habits as moral failures and start treating them as data. Colleen also shares how she recalibrated afterward — not with rules, punishment, or vows, but with space, compassion, and a return to her actual needs.

🔑 Key Takeaways • Drinking "too much" is a symptom of depletion, not a sign you're broken • Stress is activating; overwhelm is the shutdown that happens when demands exceed capacity • Old habits reappear when you haven't left space to process emotions or care for yourself • You cannot think your way out of overwhelm — you have to restore capacity first • Nervous-system literacy is more useful than willpower when it comes to changing your drinking • Emotional sobriety isn't about perfection. It's about paying attention early enough to respond, not react

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Transcript

I recently hit a wall. Not the kind where you're tired—the kind where you wake up and genuinely don't care anymore. About your business. About your goals. About any of it.

And here's what scared me: I saw it coming. I knew I was running on fumes. I just didn't stop.

In this conversation, burnout expert Cait Donovan helps me understand why. And it's not what I expected. It's not about workload or boundaries or self-care Sundays. It's about shame. It's about not believing you deserve to have needs in the first place. And it's about rebuilding trust with your own body—starting with something as basic as peeing when you need to pee.

In this episode, we cover:

→ Why shame is the first barrier to meeting your own needs (before finances, before time, before anything else)

→ Strategic disappointment: how to practice letting people down in small, safe ways so your nervous system learns you won't die

→ The difference between hyperindependence and strength—and why asking for help feels impossible

→ How foundational self-care builds emotional intelligence automatically

→ Why we mistake alignment with that feeling of having "a firecracker up my ass" and what alignment actually feels like (spoiler: it's a settling, not an urgency)

This episode is for you if:

• You're exhausted but can't seem to stop

• You've ignored your body's signals for so long you don't know what they are anymore

• You feel guilty resting, asking for help, or disappointing people

• You've tried to "fix" your burnout by changing external circumstances and it didn't work

• You suspect the problem isn't your schedule—it's something deeper

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Transcript

In this episode, Colleen unpacks one of the most common and misunderstood experiences women face in this work: the moment you look up, take inventory, and think, "My drinking hasn't changed." Instead of treating that as evidence of failure, she reframes it as a signal from your nervous system, a window into your thinking habits, and an invitation to expand your internal capacity.

She breaks down why consistency with alcohol doesn't shift just because you're "doing the work," how perfectionism and overwhelm hijack your perception of progress, and why your drinking is an output of deeper emotional patterns—not the root problem to be fixed. From there, she offers a clear five-question framework that helps you reclaim agency, rebuild momentum, and reconnect to your power without relying on willpower, shame, or urgency.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Why "my drinking hasn't changed" is a nervous-system cue, not a character flaw • How setbacks function as essential data points in emotional sobriety • The three nervous-system states and how they influence your drinking decisions • Why you can't think your way out of overwhelm… and what to do instead • A 5-question coaching process to uncover your real blocks and build momentum • How to define your ideal drinking pattern in a way that feels empowering, not punitive • Why progress is built through iteration, capacity, and compassion—not perfection

This will remind you that your drinking doesn't change when you finally "get it right." It changes when you expand your capacity, shift your thinking habits, and learn to make decisions from the calm, grounded version of you who knows exactly what she wants.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Transcript

In this episode, Colleen shares a simple moment from her morning — a single unexpected email — that shows exactly how the nervous system can hijack your day before you even know what happened. What could've turned into urgency, frustration, and spiraling worst-case scenarios instead became a real-time example of emotional sobriety: noticing the startle, interrupting the stress response, and choosing from capacity instead of panic.

She breaks down the subtle physiological chain reaction that happens long before overwhelm hits — the jolt, the mental spin, the internal "wall," the freeze — and shows how quickly your brain starts catastrophizing when your capacity is low. Colleen also explains why even tiny stressors feel massive when you're depleted, and how honoring your body's limits (instead of bulldozing through them) changes everything about how you show up.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• The five stages of the trauma response and how to spot them as they unfold • Why capacity changes daily — and why ignoring that reality leads straight to overwhelm • How your brain hijacks your perspective when you're tired, stressed, or depleted • Why completing the stress response is non-negotiable if you want to stay effective • How to shift from "fix it now" urgency to grounded, strategic problem-solving • A simple litmus test to know whether something expands your capacity or drains it • How emotional sobriety turns small moments into opportunities to build resilience

This is a reminder that your power isn't in outrunning stress — it's in noticing it sooner, responding with compassion, and restoring your capacity before you take action. That is what makes you truly unstoppable.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Transcript