Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

By Casey O'RoartySociety & Culture Education Relationships Parenting Kids & Family

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Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens episodes

January 16, 2018Eps 127: A solo show about WHY our job is to hold space for our kids and HOW to do it
Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Holding space for having a 15 YEAR OLD!! WHOA!!

What is happening in the BIZ

Membership is HAPPENING

Alumni group calls

Ecourses

Coaching calls

What is happening in the collective is happening in the individual

I speak to the community and I am speaking to myself

TRUST – BIG PICTURE – MARATHON NOT A SPRINT

How to “hold the container”

Jessica talking about “our job is to be the container”

Present, available, confident – even as our kids are making mistakes

I got you – I am unconditional

Our response matters

Who we be comes before what we do

We can handle it

Everything will be ok, or not, either way, we stand by our kids

We trust that they can handle what life gives them, and we support them inside of that (the world’s consequences, etc)

What to do becomes more clear when we practice being in the moment, vs in our emo/fear

Learn how to recognize we are there when we are there

Practice being with our overwhelm without letting it takes us over (observers)

Simple but not easy!!! Takes time!!

What we are trying to do is REWIRE the brain (Tina Bryson show 126)

Be witness to the presence of the emotional freight train, but let it idle

My book!!! Next Fall!!! WOOHOO

Our kids make mistakes

Lagging skills/ impulse/ brain development – DON’T BE SURPRISED BY IT

Cause and effect

Pushing boundaries to know where they are and who YOU are in the process

Making judgements about themselves and their peeps

Trust? Safety? Dependability? Can they handle this???

BUT WHAT DO WE DO???

Alfie Kohn, Unconditional Parenting – “I am not going to sit here and pretend that I have all the answers to all of your problems. I don’t know you or your families…”

What are the outcomes that you want? What are the skills that you are hoping that your adult child will one day embody?

What are the skills your child is showing you (through behavior) that they are missing?

What is a solution to the challenge that will help them learn those skills?

Is there something to “make right”?

How can you say less and listen more???

Remember – finding solutions to problems, including a “plan for next time” or a “plan to fix the mistake/make things right,” finding solutions are always consequences – HOWEVER consequences that we impose on our children are NOT always a solution to problems.

WHAT DO WE DO often is a request for “what do we do to them?”

Kids do better when they feel better. – Jane Nelsen

Kids want to succeed, they don't always know how. – Ross Greene

A Misbehaving child is a discouraged child. – Rudolf Dreikurs

Humans are always moving towards a sense of belonging and significance, am I connected? Do I matter? – from Aderian Theory

The most powerful tool you have for influencing behavior is the relationship that you nurture with your child. Choosing into the work of Joyful Courage, which really means being willing to grow and practice awareness, being present to your child and your experience, and hold space for your kids, no matter how they are showing up, THIS will nurture and preserve relationship.

So – what do you think? Does this make sense to you?? Do you have thoughts about this?

Come join the community discussion over in Live and Love with Joyful Courage. This is a closed FB group for listeners and parents that appreciate this conversation and are committed to learning and supporting each other on the journey.

Thank you so much for listening today – super DUPER appreciate all you moms and dads out there doing the work of making the world a better place through showing up well for your children!!

I will be back next week with Liz Blackwell-Moore talking about teens and drugs – GAH!!! I know – it’s scary, but listen anyways because she is brilliant and the conversation is helpful!!

Big love!!

:::::

Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3 part offer.

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work.

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being... Inviting in the qualities that are missing. Love, compassion, self acceptance and non-judgement... You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you! Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?.

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!! Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards??? These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!
26 min
January 09, 2018Eps 126: Tina Bryson is BACK teaching us about nurturing a YES BRAIN
Welcome, thank you for showing up!
Tina Bryson is BACK ON the podcast today!! You all remember Tina from Eps 100 – which happens to be THE most downloaded show to date of this podcast.
Tina co-authored two of MY fave parenting books, the whole brain child and no drama discipline with Dan Siegel and she is BACK on the podcast today to talk about her NEW book, the yes brain.
I am THRILLED she is back on….
Content:
The Yes Brain is available NOW
Tina is a mama to 17, 14, and 11 year boys
Yes brain and no brain approaches
A “yes brain” is a mindset of saying yes to the world, open – neurological state, our brain is integrated and linked up… Over time it becomes hardwired
A “no brain” is fearful, reactive
Prompted by “what are the skills my child needs to be successful?” – Tina and Dan Siegel wanted to go beyond academics and gold stars
They need an integrated brain that has a strong/functioning prefrontal cortex
Yes Brain has 4 Components:
Balance
Resilience
Insight
Empathy
Developmental brain/age/temperament matters
Tina shares a story about her own son who seemed to be lacking empathy at a young age
Brain develops through experience - What we emphasize (as parents) in our interactions create new linking connection in the brain.
Use books, shows, and real world experiences to model and draw forth empathy in our kids
Trust development, trust that what you are doing will pay off
Supporting our children in feeling their feelings – support them as they practice tolerating difficult feelings
Normalize difficult feelings…
2-3 tools to put into practice:
Sleep!!!
When we sleep the brain LITERALLY freshens up
Survive emotional dysregulation
When kids are at their worst is when they need us the most
Co-regulaton – a soothing presence to communicate “you’re safe, I’m here”
Build/teach skills to help them regulate themselves – GREEN ZONE
Check out Eps 100 to hear Tina dig deeper into this
Teach them to understand themselves
Rethinking success
Our children having an authentic self that they can trust
It’s about the journey and not JUST the destination
BIGGER than gold stars and academics
Eudaimonia – happiness comes from meaning, connection and peaceful contentment
Tinabryson.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
40 min
January 09, 2018Eps 126: Tina Bryson is BACK teaching us about nurturing a YES BRAIN
Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Welcome, thank you for showing up!

Tina Bryson is BACK ON the podcast today!! You all remember Tina from Eps 100 – which happens to be THE most downloaded show to date of this podcast.

Tina co-authored two of MY fave parenting books, the whole brain child and no drama discipline with Dan Siegel and she is BACK on the podcast today to talk about her NEW book, the yes brain.

I am THRILLED she is back on….

Content:

The Yes Brain is available NOW

Tina is a mama to 17, 14, and 11 year boys

Yes brain and no brain approaches

A “yes brain” is a mindset of saying yes to the world, open – neurological state, our brain is integrated and linked up… Over time it becomes hardwired

A “no brain” is fearful, reactive

Prompted by “what are the skills my child needs to be successful?” – Tina and Dan Siegel wanted to go beyond academics and gold stars

They need an integrated brain that has a strong/functioning prefrontal cortex

Yes Brain has 4 Components:

Balance

Resilience

Insight

Empathy

Developmental brain/age/temperament matters

Tina shares a story about her own son who seemed to be lacking empathy at a young age

Brain develops through experience - What we emphasize (as parents) in our interactions create new linking connection in the brain.

Use books, shows, and real world experiences to model and draw forth empathy in our kids

Trust development, trust that what you are doing will pay off

Supporting our children in feeling their feelings – support them as they practice tolerating difficult feelings

Normalize difficult feelings…

2-3 tools to put into practice:

Sleep!!!

When we sleep the brain LITERALLY freshens up

Survive emotional dysregulation

When kids are at their worst is when they need us the most

Co-regulaton – a soothing presence to communicate “you’re safe, I’m here”

Build/teach skills to help them regulate themselves – GREEN ZONE

Check out Eps 100 to hear Tina dig deeper into this

Teach them to understand themselves

Rethinking success

Our children having an authentic self that they can trust

It’s about the journey and not JUST the destination

BIGGER than gold stars and academics

Eudaimonia – happiness comes from meaning, connection and peaceful contentment

Tinabryson.com

:::::

Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3 part offer.

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work.

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being... Inviting in the qualities that are missing. Love, compassion, self acceptance and non-judgement... You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you! Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?.

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!! Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards??? These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!
37 min
January 02, 2018Eps 125: Solo Show About Goals, Practice and Living Committed
Welcome, thank you for showing up!
Todays topic – what it means to hold the container and get the results you WANT
My experience of big goals and daily intentions/practices – a bit from my conversation with Edna – areas of growth for me around supporting my clients in declaring and creating results in their lives.
Overarching goals “What do you want at the end of our work? How will you measure success?” This can be anything from potty trained toddlers (Katie’s reflection)/easier bedtime/deeper relationship with teens (Lorrianes feedback)/less yelling and more loving…
Some is easy to measure, some, not so much….
PLUS it is a pendulum swing
Many. Small. Steps.
It is so important to set goals – that way you know where you are going.
Cruise control vs being intentional
Being intentional DOES require you to face some hard truths sometimes, to bump up against thoughts/ beliefs / emotions that maybe you have become really skilled at avoiding
AND to live the fullest, most authentic life, we must make room for ALL of it – even the stuff that is hard
Setting goals
I have weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual goals
They all feed into each other
The baby steps I take during the week set up my for the monthly goals,etc
The ANNUAL GOALS are the container (remember, I mentioned that earlier?)
Living the practice
It’s not even really about the goals, it is about the journey TO the goals.
It is about going 100%
Reference Krista’s blog post about 100% is easy
https://boldlyembodylife.com/bold-notes/.
It’s every moment of saying yes to the practice we have decided to commit to.
“To be responsible, keep your promises to others, to be successful, keep your promises to yourself.” – Marie Forleo
what this means to me….
Yes to myself for myself
GRATITUDE
Get yours at https://boldlyembodylife.com/word-of-the-year-2018/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
30 min
January 02, 2018Eps 125: Solo Show About Goals, Practice and Living Committed
Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Welcome, thank you for showing up!

Content:

Super happy new year

Love that everything is possible

Fresh opportunities

Embodiment of excitement/anticipation

The work of parenting….

Really the work of human-ing

Being in relationship with self/others

Recognizing our own conditioning and breaking through to our souls desires

Honored to support

Todays topic – what it means to hold the container and get the results you WANT

My experience of big goals and daily intentions/practices – a bit from my conversation with Edna – areas of growth for me around supporting my clients in declaring and creating results in their lives.

Overarching goals “What do you want at the end of our work? How will you measure success?” This can be anything from potty trained toddlers (Katie’s reflection)/easier bedtime/deeper relationship with teens (Lorrianes feedback)/less yelling and more loving…

Some is easy to measure, some, not so much….

PLUS it is a pendulum swing

Many. Small. Steps.

It is so important to set goals – that way you know where you are going.

Cruise control vs being intentional

Being intentional DOES require you to face some hard truths sometimes, to bump up against thoughts/ beliefs / emotions that maybe you have become really skilled at avoiding

AND to live the fullest, most authentic life, we must make room for ALL of it – even the stuff that is hard

Setting goals

I have weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual goals

They all feed into each other

The baby steps I take during the week set up my for the monthly goals,etc

The ANNUAL GOALS are the container (remember, I mentioned that earlier?)

Living the practice

It’s not even really about the goals, it is about the journey TO the goals.

It is about going 100%

Reference Krista’s blog post about 100% is easy

https://boldlyembodylife.com/bold-notes/.

It’s every moment of saying yes to the practice we have decided to commit to.

“To be responsible, keep your promises to others, to be successful, keep your promises to yourself.” – Marie Forleo

what this means to me….

Yes to myself for myself

How that then influences the entire ecosystem around me

What do I mean by ecosystem?

What happens in a healthy environment? Everything is influenced

My goals for 2018

Biz

Ok – you all know how completely passionate I am about Joyful Courage

Elevation with programs and podcast

Being my OWN sponsor

Continuously working to streamline the exchange of service <3

Family

SPECIAL TIME

Family meetings - VIGILANT

Small weekly “dates”

Monthly bigger “dates”

CONNECTION CONNECTION CONNECTION

Personal

HEALTH

Sacred mornings

Whole 30/ fueling my body with what it NEEDS

MOVEMENT – yoga every day

Mistakes and compassion

Ebbs and flows

Stumbling blocks challenges

ALL OF THIS ^^ is a PART OF THE PATH

Wake up calls to more intention!

Things to CELEBRATE

Always moving forward

What are your goals for 2018?

What will you be practicing daily?

How will you support yourself in this important work?

Do you want a community?

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS HERE

OH – also wanted to share my WORD OF THE YEAR!!!

GRATITUDE

Get yours at https://boldlyembodylife.com/word-of-the-year-2018/

:::::

Journey to Joy Ecourse

Journey to Joy is a 3 part offer.

Each Module contains a video, audio and workbook to guide you in doing your work.

You will increase your awareness around the areas you are stuck (you know, the irritation that never seems to go away... the exhaustion, the guilt and shame that shows up so often after you have "dealt with" the challenges your kids bring on a regular basis.

You will spend time exploring new choices, new ways of being... Inviting in the qualities that are missing. Love, compassion, self acceptance and non-judgement... You will learn how to open up your body and allow these emotions in.

You will create a practice for teaching your body and mind a NEW pattern, making this new way of being more readily available when you need it.

SO EXCITED to share this with you! Get more info and register at www.joyfulcourage.com/joy

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?.

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!! Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards??? These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!
28 min
December 26, 2017Eps 124: Conscious Communication with Lori Petro
Welcome, thank you for showing up!
Content:
My guest today is Lori Petro. Lori is passionate about conscious parenting and was a guest on Episode 62. She is an advocate for children and families, a parent educator, mama and founder of Teach Through Love.
Lori’s journey began as being a misunderstood kid… Followed by HAVING a child and wanting to provide her with something different than what she experienced
Lori is a creator/artist at heart wanting to created compassion and understanding in our communication with each other
Inspired to create a better world for her kid and everyone else to live in
Conscious communication cards
Conscious communication – supporting parents in taking their understanding of conscious parenting into the language and way of being they bring to their relationships
Staying present and leaving the blame, shame, judgment and guilt behind
Communication includes messages we deliver with what we SAY, as well as what we DON’T say, our tone, our body language – we are always sending messages
Parents do TO the children to get them to be what we want them to be…. It’s about allowing our kids HAVE THE EXPERIENCE and learning from there
SEEING our children in their emotion/experience
They are there to provoke us in our own self awareness
Listening to understand…. Lean in to understanding our children’s experience and what it is like to BE them… (Lori shares lip gloss story) Otherwise we miss the fullness of what is their life (Casey shares crop top story)
Not about saying the perfect right thing, it’s about continuing the conversation with our kids around the places where we want a deeper understanding
Tell me more about that…
It’s bigger than the make-up and the crop top
Opens up conversation
Conversations to understand vs conversation that are ultimately begun to convince our kids that we are right and they are wrong
20:40 Aware of when our agenda of fear is clouding their experience of growing into their own maturity
Conscious parenting is not one long negotiation
Being firm is a piece of it
Be ok when kids don’t like the boundary
Conscious communication cards
Came from ideas that Lori posted on line every week
Developed into a model for her parenting program
Stress/skills/support
Am I looking to help my child regulate? (stress)
Am I trying to help my child build and emerging skill? (skills)
Am I trying to mend/repair relationship? (support)
Divided into two section
Behaviors/words to avoid
Examples of what to say/directions to go in
Target cards
What you can look for to find the root cause of behavior
5 steps for peaceful resolution
Parents use the cards in many different ways
Post them in their world
Sit with them at the end of the day and review them
IT’S A PRACTICE
Daily
Progress not perfection (even for Lori)
Our brains never stop developing and we can always learn new skills
We still have not great parenting moments but we OWN IT
Lori shares about her personal practices
Finding work/life balance
Meditation
DAILY mindfulness

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
46 min
December 26, 2017Eps 124: Conscious Communication with Lori Petro
Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

Welcome, thank you for showing up!

Content:

My guest today is Lori Petro. Lori is passionate about conscious parenting and was a guest on Episode 62. She is an advocate for children and families, a parent educator, mama and founder of Teach Through Love.

Lori’s journey began as being a misunderstood kid… Followed by HAVING a child and wanting to provide her with something different than what she experienced

Lori is a creator/artist at heart wanting to created compassion and understanding in our communication with each other

Inspired to create a better world for her kid and everyone else to live in

Conscious communication cards

Conscious communication – supporting parents in taking their understanding of conscious parenting into the language and way of being they bring to their relationships

Staying present and leaving the blame, shame, judgment and guilt behind

Communication includes messages we deliver with what we SAY, as well as what we DON’T say, our tone, our body language – we are always sending messages

Parents do TO the children to get them to be what we want them to be…. It’s about allowing our kids HAVE THE EXPERIENCE and learning from there

SEEING our children in their emotion/experience

They are there to provoke us in our own self awareness

Listening to understand…. Lean in to understanding our children’s experience and what it is like to BE them… (Lori shares lip gloss story) Otherwise we miss the fullness of what is their life (Casey shares crop top story)

Not about saying the perfect right thing, it’s about continuing the conversation with our kids around the places where we want a deeper understanding

Tell me more about that…

It’s bigger than the make-up and the crop top

Opens up conversation

Conversations to understand vs conversation that are ultimately begun to convince our kids that we are right and they are wrong

20:40 Aware of when our agenda of fear is clouding their experience of growing into their own maturity

Conscious parenting is not one long negotiation

Being firm is a piece of it

Be ok when kids don’t like the boundary

Conscious communication cards

Came from ideas that Lori posted on line every week

Developed into a model for her parenting program

Stress/skills/support

Am I looking to help my child regulate? (stress)

Am I trying to help my child build and emerging skill? (skills)

Am I trying to mend/repair relationship? (support)

Divided into two section

Behaviors/words to avoid

Examples of what to say/directions to go in

Target cards

What you can look for to find the root cause of behavior

5 steps for peaceful resolution

Parents use the cards in many different ways

Post them in their world

Sit with them at the end of the day and review them

IT’S A PRACTICE

Daily

Progress not perfection (even for Lori)

Our brains never stop developing and we can always learn new skills

We still have not great parenting moments but we OWN IT

Lori shares about her personal practices

Finding work/life balance

Meditation

DAILY mindfulness

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Not doing things that my heart doesn’t want to do – to not do anything because I was guilted into it, then I am not doing it because I want to , but because I feel less of myself. And I am trying to move out of any victim thinking, or less than thinking… Up our self worth as parents then offer that to our kids.

Where to find Lori:

Website l Facebook

Conscious Communication Cards

:::::

LIVING JOYFUL COURAGE MEMBERSHIP 2018

YES!!. Doors are OPEN for 15% off the price if you are READY to be a yes to the 2018 LJC Membership Program - DISCOuNT ONLY GOOD THROUGH DECEMBER 2017!!

On my journey of strengthening my awareness and practicing conscious parenting, LJC is the support and inspiration I NEED to put the knowledge and tools I have to work in real life, every single day. I am deeply grateful for this group of incredible women and for Casey. - Mama Lauren

Sign up now http://www.joyfulcourage.com/living-jc/

:::::

All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes

Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?.

Joyful Courage SHIRTS

Women cut tanks and tees are ready for you to BUY NOW!! Wearable reminders for how you want to show up in the world.

DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards??? These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!
43 min
December 19, 2017Eps 123: Solo Show - Navigating Big Emotions From Grownups and Kids
SOLO SHOW
Context – we all have the power and the skills to be the parent we want to be
A recent post from the Live and Love with Joyful Courage community:
Can we talk about sharing our big feelings with our kids?
My kids are 2.5 and 4.5yo, and I don't know how to share my big feelings in front of them without freaking them out. I want to be able to be my full and authentic self with them, in an age appropriate way. And I realize, the fact that they are upset when I am upset means that they are afraid of my big feelings and may be afraid of their own big feelings. We try to welcome their big feelings (tantrums, disappointment, etc.) but I think we do a miserable job at it.
Compounding this, I am someone with explosive emotions. I tend to feel things very deeply and it takes me time to calm down. I have worked hard to make sure I don't express those emotions in a negative or scary way. But instead I most often bottle them up, which isn't good either.
Celebrating awareness. Celebrating emotional intelligence. Celebrating authenticity. Celebrating personal responsibility.
Misconceptions (in general):
not ok for our children to see us upset
not ok for our children to FEEL upset
they’re being naughty
they’re manipulating
they’re learning “bad behavior”
welcoming big feelings is the same as condoning hurtful behavior
This is a POWERFUL example of what I think is the PURPOSE of parenting:
to grow into our best selves
Children are mirrors
not mimics
instead, provide a reflection of how we effect the world, what our impact is, what we are inviting
Children/parenting journey is an invitation
recognizing conditioning
recognizing what our “driver” is
recognize commitment vs attachment
Committed to being a connected parent vs attachment to what that looks like (slippery, perfectionism, comparison)
Children/parenting journey is unrelenting
The lessons come every day, moment to moment
The growth is like peeling an onion
There is no where to ARRIVE
Child/parenting journey is an opportunity to grow
I can’t say this enough
Where are your hard edges?
Where is there room for self growth?
Where can flexibility show up inside of rigidity
“I am someone with explosive emotions.”
We are ALWAYS evolving
What can we learn about ourselves?
What can we practice that will be more helpful and less hurtful?
How can we deliver our experiences and be heard?
How can we create a PRACTICE that honors us and our experience while also models the life skills we want our children to one day embody?
Practices are UNIQUE and INDIVIDUAL
The myth of “balance”
Assumptions about our “roles”
Taking care of ourselves and our own self-regulation, in the end, will do more to teach our children and influence their behavior than any tool you can find in a book or the internet.
You’ve got this!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
32 min
December 19, 2017Eps 123: Solo Show - Navigating Big Emotions From Grownups and Kids
Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves...

:::::

SOLO SHOW

Context – we all have the power and the skills to be the parent we want to be

A recent post from the Live and Love with Joyful Courage community:

Can we talk about sharing our big feelings with our kids?

My kids are 2.5 and 4.5yo, and I don't know how to share my big feelings in front of them without freaking them out. I want to be able to be my full and authentic self with them, in an age appropriate way. And I realize, the fact that they are upset when I am upset means that they are afraid of my big feelings and may be afraid of their own big feelings. We try to welcome their big feelings (tantrums, disappointment, etc.) but I think we do a miserable job at it.

Compounding this, I am someone with explosive emotions. I tend to feel things very deeply and it takes me time to calm down. I have worked hard to make sure I don't express those emotions in a negative or scary way. But instead I most often bottle them up, which isn't good either.

Celebrating awareness. Celebrating emotional intelligence. Celebrating authenticity. Celebrating personal responsibility.

Misconceptions (in general):

not ok for our children to see us upset

not ok for our children to FEEL upset

they’re being naughty

they’re manipulating

they’re learning “bad behavior”

welcoming big feelings is the same as condoning hurtful behavior

This is a POWERFUL example of what I think is the PURPOSE of parenting:

to grow into our best selves

Children are mirrors

not mimics

instead, provide a reflection of how we effect the world, what our impact is, what we are inviting

Children/parenting journey is an invitation

recognizing conditioning

recognizing what our “driver” is

recognize commitment vs attachment

Committed to being a connected parent vs attachment to what that looks like (slippery, perfectionism, comparison)

Children/parenting journey is unrelenting

The lessons come every day, moment to moment

The growth is like peeling an onion

There is no where to ARRIVE

Child/parenting journey is an opportunity to grow

I can’t say this enough

Where are your hard edges?

Where is there room for self growth?

Where can flexibility show up inside of rigidity

“I am someone with explosive emotions.”

We are ALWAYS evolving

What can we learn about ourselves?

What can we practice that will be more helpful and less hurtful?

How can we deliver our experiences and be heard?

How can we create a PRACTICE that honors us and our experience while also models the life skills we want our children to one day embody?

Practices are UNIQUE and INDIVIDUAL

The myth of “balance”

Assumptions about our “roles”

Taking care of ourselves and our own self-regulation, in the end, will do more to teach our children and influence their behavior than any tool you can find in a book or the internet.

You’ve got this!

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Intention Bracelets

Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need?. Find them at http://www.joyfulcourage.com/mantra-bracelets/

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DAILY INTENTION CARDS

What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards??? These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice.

Get yours now – http://www.joyfulcourage.com/intentioncards

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YES!!. Doors are OPEN for 15% off the price if you are READY to be a yes to the 2018 LJC Membership Program.

On my journey of strengthening my awareness and practicing conscious parenting, LJC is the support and inspiration I NEED to put the knowledge and tools I have to work in real life, every single day. I am deeply grateful for this group of incredible women and for Casey. - Mama Lauren

Sign up now http://www.joyfulcourage.com/living-jc/

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29 min
December 12, 2017Eps 122: Shameproof Parenting with Mercedes Samudio
Welcome Mercedes Samudio. For almost a decade, Mercedes has been working with families to help them develop healthy communication skills, manage severe emotional issues, develop coping skills to manage behaviors, create dynamic parent-child relationships, and navigate social media & technology as a family.
Throughout the course of her career she has worked with adoptive families, foster families, teen parents, parents navigating the child protective services system, and children living with mental illness.
In 2014, Mercedes began to transition into her private practice where she focuses on parent coaching and guiding families to reducing unwanted behaviors, developing effective parenting strategies, creating healthy communication habits, and designing social media/tech plans for their household.
Content:
Mercedes talks about her background experience with teen parents
Supporting parents in being confident in their ever evolving parenting identity
Where #endparentshaming came from
Others/media offering mixed judgments – no one changes when they feel shame/unsafe
Movement to get people to see that even when others are doing things you don’t agree with, how to step into empathy to see where they need support
People doing the best they can with the tools they have
Shame as a defense to our own discomfort
“Raising a human while trying to be authentically human yourself”
You are bigger than your parent role
Take time to focus on self and partner as a tool for surrendering to what your child’s current challenge is
When we focus solely on our child’s mistakes, all we see are their mistakes
Bring the skills/areas of other parts of our life into the parts that feel a bit shakey
10,000 feet view
We have our own shame conversations….
Reframe the expectations you have of yourself
Example: how do you deal with things when you are angry?
What do I need, what can I do for myself?
How can I use my support system to help me?
The misperception that conscious parenting shouldn’t be hard
Conscious parenting requires us to be conscious parenting
18:30 quote
People are attached to their shame – the stories feel familiar
Figure out what your stories are that take you to shame
People grow and change in space that is free from shame and judgement
Considering FOO – Family Of Origin
Write down why these relationships matter to you
Still want connection…
Let them know WHY you want to stay connected (be specific)
Then, share what it is that you are going to be practicing and invite the family member into supporting you
Ask for alignment
CONNECT BEFORE CORRECT (not just for kids J )
Set you boundaries to keep YOUR bucket full for YOU family
Shameproof Parenting by Mercedes
How to build support with other parents and non parents
A shame proof village!
What does Joyful Courage mean to you?
Being able to find joy even in the times when it’s not happening... I’m still showing up.
Where to find Mercedes:
Website l You Tube

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56 min

About Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

From the publisher's feed

Welcome to the Joyful Courage Podcast - a place where parents of tweens and teens come to find inspiration, information and encouragement in the messy terrain of adolescence