Talking points: attachment, relationships

The way you connect with others really can change for the better, and it's important to know when you're headed in the right direction. If you or your partner has an avoidant attachment style—aka shutdown in conflict, emotional distancing, etc.—this one's for you. Listen in.

Not sure what avoidant attachment is? Check out A Man's Guide To Avoidant Attachment: https://lnk.to/3anA6L

(00:00:00) - Intro and what you need to understand first

(00:02:25) - Sign number one: more emotional availability

(00:04:41) - Number two: Better conflict navigation

(00:07:01) - Number three: you aren’t debating ending the relationship at the first sign of trouble

(00:08:01) - Number four: a deeper sense of trust

(00:10:08) - Number five: their needs are more clear, AND they’re moving to meet your needs more often

***

Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

Alliance

Talking points: relationships, conflict, love, culture

There aren’t many folks in the wellness space as frank, wise, and empathetic as Jillian, and I always love having her on the show. This time, we sat down to dig into everything relationships, from culture and social media’s effects (read: not always great) to defining lust vs love, and much more. Strongly recommend this one for a couple’s listen. 

(00:00:00) - Why are people so disenfranchised with relationships these days, and is there a broader function to relationships that we’re missing?

(00:09:00) - What contributes to self-centeredness is relationships, and how do we combat that?

(00:15:46) - The purpose of uncertainty and the unknown in relationships, and the difference between lust and love

(00:24:34) - On being able to disagree

(00:31:59) - How do people get stuck in “cycles of lust”?

(00:41:29) - What kind of a man do women want, and why can you not convince someone to love you?

(00:50:24) - Why convincing someone to love you is a turn-off

Jillian Turecki is a relationship coach, teacher, podcaster, writer, and speaker who has devoted her life to helping people revolutionize their relationships with themselves. For over 20 years, Jillian has maintained a deep commitment to authenticity, compassion, and inner transformation as she follows her insatiable curiosity about what makes relationships thrive.

Between Jillian’s podcast, “Jillian on Love,” her newsletter, “Love Weekly,” and her social media community, Jillian reaches millions of people who seek her actionable, compassionate, direct, and research-driven insight. As the founder of Jillian Turecki Coaching, Jillian has changed the lives of countless individuals around the world through her transformative workshops, courses, retreats, and one-on-one coaching sessions. Her forthcoming book is a groundbreaking look at love, partnership and self-love based on Jillian’s decades of experience and research.

Connect with Jillian

-Website: https://www.jillianturecki.com/

-Book: It Beings With You: https://www.jillianturecki.com/book

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jillianturecki

-Podcast: Jillian On Love: https://lnk.to/69xLT5

***

Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

Alliance

Talking point: dating, relationships, risk

I recently came across some work by Alexander (aka @DatePsych), where he put together some fascinating data. Turns out 45% of men between 18-25 haven't asked a woman out. Ever. What's the deal? Well, here are two of my theories, and I'd love to hear yours.

Link to the study: https://datepsychology.com/risk-aversion-and-dating/

***

Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

Alliance

Talking points: friendship, masculinity,

Ryan Michler and I have been in the men's work biz for a long time, and we've seen the changes—some good, some bad—in how men are talked about and marketed to by our culture and by the wellness and therapy industries. We dig into the necessity of male friendship in the face of growing isolationism, the upcoming Men's Forge, and a whole lot more. Listen in, team.

(00:00:00) - Intro and why does it seem like men are having a harder time maintaining relationships?

(00:12:27) - On men needing social time and where modern therapy misses the mark

(00:17:56) - How are men contributing to their own isolation and loneliness?

(00:31:44) - On the importance of some confrontation in male friendships

(00:38:32) - Why men need brotherhood as well as challenge, and what to do if you want deeper friendships with other men

Ryan Michler is a husband, father, Iraqi Combat Veteran, and the Founder of Order of Man. Ryan grew up without a permanent father figure and has seen first-hand how a lack of strong, ambitious, self-sufficient men has impacted society today. He believes many of the world’s most complicated problems could be solved if men everywhere learned how to be better husbands, fathers, businessmen, and community leaders.

It has now become his life’s mission to help men across the planet step more fully into their roles as protectors, providers, and presiders over themselves, their families, their businesses, and their communities. You can find him blogging and podcasting at Order of Man where he is working to help men become all they were meant to be.

Connect with Ryan

-Join myself, Ryan Michler, Larry Hagner, and Matt Beaudreau on a mission to improve yourself as a man, husband, business owner, and community leader at the Men's Forge. May 1-4, St. Louis, MO: https://orderofman.clickfunnels.com/uprising-landing-page1715263442491

-Website: https://www.orderofman.com/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryanmichler/

-Twitter: https://twitter.com/ryanmichler

-Book: The Masculinity Manifesto: https://amzn.to/3jJcmiE

-Book: Sovereignty: https://amzn.to/3G6zwqQ

***

Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

Alliance

Talking points: mindset

This is something I’ve seen a LOT of men battle, and with no success—and I include myself in that. This week, I want to reframe the idea of self-worth and give you a few insights that will likely change the game for you. Dig in.

(00:00:00) - Reframing self-worth, and why many men struggle with it

(00:04:27) - Reasons why self-worth gets damaged 

(00:07:26) - You don’t build it by winning all the time; recognize effort instead. Here’s why it works

(00:12:00) - Release the beast from the basement

***

Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

Alliance

Talking points: trauma, validation, mindset, relationships

Recently, I put out a call on Instagram: who wants to join me for a short, recorded Q&A. We had a TON of respondents, but I wanted to highlight four in particular that I feel are unique, but at the same time offer a window into what so many men endure. 

These are everyday men from completely different walks of life, all different ages, but united in a single fact: they’re doing the work. I’m deeply grateful to each of them for agreeing to be on the show. 

(00:00:00) - The story of S, six years sober, who struggles with people pleasing and feeling stuck

(00:16:04) - C’s struggle with internal validation and the relationship with his father

(00:35:15) - D’s working on feeling worthy, but his relationships have never felt safe or trustworthy

(00:56:47) - P wrestles with some of the contradictions in the self-help space and past trauma

***

Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

Alliance

Talking points: mythology, masculinity, trauma

Myth isn't just old story. It's also a powerful way to frame the workings of the world, the mind, and everything in between. The story of Perseus is just one example of this, with insights on boyhood vs manhood, facing risk, and much more. Dig in.

(00:00:00) - Intro and the first lesson of the Perseus’ story

(00:06:09) - The second lesson

(00:09:36) - Lessons behind Perseus and Medusa

(00:16:09) - How the role of a mother and the initiation into manhood interact

***

Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

Alliance

Talking points: masculinity, culture, gratitude, anger, poetry

I don’t typically get starstruck or awed in interviews, even though I’ve talked to many incredible people. But David? Well, he’s had an immense impact on my life, and so much of my work and way of thinking lives inspired by him. He joined me in Seattle and shared so much wisdom, beauty, and of course, poetry. Dig into this one.

(00:00:00) - What is the “conversational nature of reality”, why the unknown is so uncomfortable, and the fear of “descent”

(00:18:44) - How the need for control kills off meaning and purpose, and how real poetry and philosophy come from NOT knowing what to say

(00:25:53) - David reads “Blessing of the Morning Light”

(00:32:42) - How does a man start building a relationship to the unknown parts of himself, and David’s relationship with his father

(00:44:24) - The role of anger and the power of poetry

(00:56:16) - On forgiveness and male friendship

(01:31:57) - How do you properly thank someone who’s had a profound impact on you?

David Whyte is an internationally renowned poet and author, and a scintillating and moving speaker. Behind these talents lies a very physical attempt to give voice to the wellsprings of human identity, human striving and, most difficult of all, the possibilities for human happiness. He draws from hundreds of memorized poems, his own and those of other beloved poets such as Wordsworth, Emily Dickinson, Keats, Pablo Neruda, Fleur Adcock and the sonnets of Shakespeare. He is the author of ten books of poetry, three books of prose on the transformative nature of work; a widely-acclaimed, best-selling book of essays, and an extensive audio collection.

Connect with David

-Website: https://davidwhyte.com/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/davidjwhyte/

-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PoetDavidWhyte/

-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@poetdavidwhyte

-SubStack: https://davidwhyte.substack.com/

***

Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

Alliance

Talking points: psychology, the shadow, attachment theory

Now there's a mouthful of psych words! All jokes aside, a Jungian perspective on attachment theory is a powerful combo. This week, I'm laying out a simple definition for the shadow and anxious attachment, and a straightforward way to begin the work yourself right away. Listen in.

(00:00:00) - A quick primer on anxious attachment and the shadow

(00:05:17) - The first thing you need to figure out, and some common causes of anxious attachment

(00:09:01) - Here’s where you begin exploring

(00:12:40) - What can happen in relationship as you start doing this work, and how to help that

(00:13:55) - A caveat for people with trauma or abuse in their past

***

Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

Alliance

Talking points: culture, masculinity

Broad-brushing things doesn't help us progress. Broad-brushing people is even worse. Young men are facing what feels to them a hostile landscape, and it's causing some serious issues. Listen in.

(00:00:00) - The abusive relationship analogy

(00:05:36) - Porn DOES contribute

(00:08:16) - The new narrative

(00:11:03) - Is there a more positive vision for men and masculinity? And a message to guys who are struggling

***

Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

Alliance