Mary's Cup of Tea: the Self Love Podcast for Women

By Mary JelkovskySociety & Culture Health & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement Relationships

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Mary's Cup of Tea: the Self Love Podcast for Women episodes

April 30What Optimism Looks Like When Your Mental Health Isn’t Great with Dr. Deepika Chopra
What if being a more optimistic person has nothing to do with “staying positive”? In this conversation, we unpack the real psychology of optimism — and why it’s less about feeling good, and more about building resilience, curiosity, and emotional flexibility. If you’ve ever struggled with negative thoughts, anxiety, or your mental health, this episode will bring encouragement, hope, and helpful tools.
You will learn…
why nostalgia can actually regulate your nervous system and support optimism

the real definition of optimism (and why it’s not the same as positivity)

how anxiety fills in uncertainty with worst-case scenarios — and what to do instead

what optimism looks like when you’re struggling, depressed, or barely getting through the day

how curiosity — not confidence — might be the most powerful mindset shift
Remember: being a more positive person isn’t about forcing yourself to feel good — it’s about learning how to stay open, grounded, and resilient through the full range of your human experience.
Dr. Deepika Chopra, widely known as The Optimism Doctor®, is not your average shrink. A behavioral scientist, health psychologist, national best selling author, podcast host, visual imagery expert and sought after speaker, she holds a doctorate in clinical health psychology and completed a double postdoctoral fellowship at UCLA and Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Her book The Power of Real Optimism (Simon and Schuster 2026) is a practical science based guide to staying resilient, curious, and open even when life is hard. Dr. Chopra is a recurring guest on NBC’s TODAY Show and her innovative and science based work on Optimism, Hope and Resiliency has been featured in outlets such as Forbes, NPR, Harper’s Bazaar, Vogue, Goop, Variety, Fast Company, Newsweek, New York Times, The Boston Globe and more. She has led workshops and consulted for companies including Google, Amazon, Live Nation, UPenn Health, BCG, and Amex, and spoken at events such as the Aspen Ideas Festival, SXSW, and The Atlantic’sIn Pursuit of Happiness.
Dr. Chopra is the founder of Things Are Looking Up®️, a consultancy devoted to the intersection of science and soul, and the creator of the hit optimism card deck of the same name. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and three children.
If you enjoyed this episode, share it with the women in your life! Or on social media! Be sure to tag @maryspodcast and @drdeepikachopra
Mentioned in this episode:
200 Reasons to Choose Self-Love

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31 min
April 23The Reality of Hosting This Self-Love Podcast (Celebrating Our 300th Episode!!)
Wow!!! I can’t believe this is our 300th episode!!
Thank you so so much for listening to Mary's Cup of Tea: the Self-Love Podcast for Women.
This episode is a bit more personal and vulnerable. It’s me reflecting on why I started Mary’s Cup of Tea, what I’m struggling with, and if/ how I hope to move forward. I pull back the curtain to share what it’s actually taken to produce this show, use my voice, and keep going even when it’s felt messy and overwhelming. A lot of the times I feel less confident than I wish to be, but keep reminding myself that confidence is not synonymous with perfection. And self-compassion goes a long way.
Tune into our 300th episode to hear...
a behind-the-scenes look at what hosting this self-love podcast has really been like

why celebrating your input matters more than waiting for external validation

the tension between growth, pressure, and staying true to yourself

what’s next for this show

a reminder to honor your own process, even when no one else sees it
Remember: self-love is about choosing to show, again and again, in ways that feel kind and true.
Mentioned In This Episode...
“200 Reasons to Choose Self-Love” (free download)

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

Girls (TV show by Lena Dunham)
Deepen your self love journey with Mary’s books:
The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself.
Follow Mary's self love journey on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast
And if you’re enjoying this self-love podcast, share it with the women in your life! Your support helps spread the gift of self-love!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
34 min
April 17Why Your Self-Worth Feels Low (Even When Life Looks Good)
There’s a version of life many women are taught to chase: the one that looks put together, successful, desirable, and “right.” But behind the aesthetic routines, curated homes, and picture-perfect moments, so many of us feel disconnected, drained, or dissatisfied.
This is the self-worth trap.
In this episode, we explore a simple but powerful reframe: your self-worth isn’t built through appearances. It’s built through how your life feels, not how it performs. And when you prioritize appearances over truth, your self-worth will always feel unstable.
Tune into our self-love podcast to learn…
why something can look perfect but still feel completely wrong

the hidden self-worth trap many women live in without realizing it

how social media and external validation distort your self-worth

the unexpected quadrant where real freedom, confidence, and alignment begin

simple ways to stop performing your life and start actually living it
This conversation also touches on body image, mental health, and the subtle ways women are conditioned to prioritize perception over truth.
Mentioned In This Episode... Lena Dunham interview
Deepen your self love journey with Mary’s books:
The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself.
Follow Mary's self love journey on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast
And if you’re enjoying Mary’s Cup of Tea, share it with the women in your life! Your support helps spread the gift of self-love!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
27 min
April 09If You Want More Confidence, You Need To Practice Slowing Down
Have you ever noticed how the more you rush, the more everything seems to fall apart? Let’s explore how constantly being “on the go” disconnects you from your confidence and inner peace. If you’re constantly rushing, then you’re stuck in your own anxious headspace, not actually connected to yourself and your surroundings.
In a world that rewards productivity and hustle, slowing down can feel uncomfortable… even wrong. But what if the very thing you think is holding you back is actually the key to building real confidence? What if taking your time is what allows you to hear yourself clearly again, trust your decisions, and move through life with more ease?
This is an “encore” episode, one we’ve already shared on the Mary’s Cup of Tea Podcast but why not revisit it?!
Tune into this self-love podcast to learn…
why rushing keeps you stuck in anxiety instead of grounded in confidence

how slowing down helps you reconnect with your intuition

5 simple ways to practice slowing down

how to move slowly through life in a way that naturally builds confidence
Remember: When you pause, you breathe, and when you breathe, you harness your power. Self-love requires slowing down.
If you’re enjoying Mary’s Cup of Tea, share it with the women in your life! Your support helps spread the gift of self-love!
Deepen your self love journey with Mary’s books:
The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself.
Follow Mary's self love journey on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
20 min
April 02Your Self Love Check-In: 3 Questions To Ask Yourself This Spring
Spring is a natural time for renewal, and this is your reminder to come back to self love in a grounded way. Not a full reset, not a glow up, just a check-in. A moment to notice what feels good, what feels off, and where you might need a little more care from yourself right now.
Here are 3 questions that are designed to make you feel more alive and aligned. I invite you to ponder these questions or better yet, use them as prompts for bullet journaling! Feel free to share your thoughts with me in a comment, message, or review.
You will learn…
How to bring more self love into your life by noticing everyday moments of magic

Where you can disconnect from constant stimulation and reconnect with yourself

A gentle way to check in with your thoughts without overanalyzing them

The surprising impact of slowing down and going “analog” in your daily routine

How to identify what part of you needs attention, care, or support right now
Remember: Self love is magical, and so are you.
So instead of another generic gift, give your mom, mother figure, or even yourself the gift of comfort. Discover how Cozy Earth turns everyday routines into moments of softness and ease. Head to http://cozyearth.com/ and use my code MARY for an exclusive 20% off. And if you get a post-purchase survey, you can mention you heard about it on Mary’s Cup of Tea.
If you’re enjoying our self love podcast, share it with the women in your life! Your support helps spread women empowerment and self-love!
Deepen your self love journey with Mary’s books:
The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself.
Follow Mary's self love journey on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast
Mentioned In This Episode...
Anna Karenina

A Swim in a Pond in the Rain

Mary’s Self Love playlist: maryscupoftea.com/playlist

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
27 min
March 267 Moments That Shaped Our Marriage (feat. My Husband)
Seven years together, three years married, and somehow we’re still learning new things about each other!
In this episode, Husband joins Mary to reflect on moments that shaped their relationship.
This isn’t relationship advice or a step-by-step guide to a perfect marriage. It’s just us looking back at what we’ve been through and realizing how those experiences changed the way we communicate, support each other, and show up in our relationship. Get ready for funny stories, peak memories, and relatable relationship dynamics!
You will learn…
how different communication styles can either clash or deepen connection in a healthy relationship

what happens when you stop trying to control your partner’s emotions

our favorite, most chaotic travel stories

why shared experiences build confidence and emotional intimacy in a relationship

how couples therapy helped us break unhealthy patterns

the small ways respect, trust, and self-awareness show up in a strong marriage
Remember: building a healthy relationship takes communication, self-awareness, and a willingness to grow together. And that can only happen through trial and error, forgiveness, resilience, and sometimes, couples therapy.
About Mary’s Husband:
Stan is Mary’s husband and occasional podcast guest who is either unintentionally insightful or unexpectedly hilarious. He immigrated to the U.S. from Uzbekistan and brings a grounded, practical perspective to conversations about relationships, growth, and life. When he’s not helping Mary pack for trips or supporting her ideas, he’s working in the automotive industry and perfecting his Tony Soprano impression.
If you enjoyed this episode, share it with the women in your life! Or on social media! Be sure to tag @maryspodcast
Mentioned In This Episode…
101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged

Shrinking on Apple TV

Our honeymoon in Tanzania recap

Our 1-Year Married Episode

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 2 min
March 195 Things I’d Change If I Could Rewrite My Self-Love Book
Five years ago, I published The Gift of Self-Love. Writing that book when I was just 20 years old was one of the most meaningful experiences of my life. And its message around confidence, healing, and self-love still feels deeply true to me today.
But five years of living, growing, and talking with thousands of women about their experiences has also expanded my understanding of self-love in ways I could not have fully seen back then.
In this reflective episode, I look back on the book with fresh perspective and share a few ideas I might approach differently if I were writing it today. This conversation explores how our understanding of self-love can deepen over time, especially as life experiences reshape how we see ourselves and the world around us.
Get my books:
The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself.
Follow Mary's self love journey on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast
If you’re enjoying our self love podcast, share it with the women in your life! Your support helps spread the gift of self-love!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
18 min
March 12Feeling Inadequate? How to Snap Out of It and Rebuild Confidence
Have you ever felt like no matter what you do, it’s never enough? Same. Let's talk about inadequacy– how to snap the F out of it and shift into confidence.
Mary introduces her powerful self-love formula, which intertwines self-esteem, self-compassion, and self-worth, as she challenges listeners to confront their feelings of inadequacy. We also unpack the heavy feelings of inadequacy and shame and how redefining self worth can help you stop measuring yourself against impossible standards.
You will learn...
the difference between insecurity and deeper feelings of inadequacy

how to question the timelines, expectations, and systems shaping your sense of self worth

confront uncomfortable emotions instead of avoiding them

reconnect with your inherent worth and rebuild confidence on your own terms

create an “audacity list” to step outside comparison and reclaim agency in your life
Remember: the goal isn’t to finally become “enough.” The freedom comes when you realize that standard was never yours to begin with.
So instead of another generic gift, give your mom, mother figure, or even yourself the gift of comfort. Discover how Cozy Earth turns everyday routines into moments of softness and ease. Head to http://cozyearth.com/ and use my code MARY for an exclusive 20% off. And if you get a post-purchase survey, you can mention you heard about it on Mary’s Cup of Tea.
If you’re enjoying our self love podcast, share it with the women in your life to continue spreading the gift of self love.
Deepen your self love journey with Mary’s books:
The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself.
Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast
Mentioned in this episode:
Why Self-Help Isn't Always Helpful for Self-Love

How To Feel Confident When You Speak with Ryan O'Shea

Why Manifestation Doesn't Work Without Self-Worth with Samantha Chung

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
28 min
March 05Why Self-Help is NOT Always Helpful for Self-Love
If you’ve ever felt like you have to constantly optimize your life to deserve self-love, this conversation will help you rethink how you approach personal development. A deep dive into the complicated relationship between self-help and self love, and why the self-help industry can sometimes leave women feeling more inadequate instead of more confident.
You will learn how to...
recognize when self-help messaging is subtly making you feel broken instead of helping you build self-love

break the exhausting cycle of pressure → shame → burnout that comes from most self-help advice

cultivate self love through community, connection, and self-acceptance rather than endless self-improvement
Remember: you don’t need to become a better version of yourself to deserve self-love. The most powerful form of self love is learning to accept yourself exactly as you are, even on the days when nothing feels optimized.
So instead of another generic gift, give your mom, mother figure, or even yourself the gift of comfort. Discover how Cozy Earth turns everyday routines into moments of softness and ease. Head to http://cozyearth.com/ and use my code MARY for an exclusive 20% off. And if you get a post-purchase survey, you can mention you heard about it on Mary’s Cup of Tea.
If you’re enjoying our self love podcast, share it with the women in your life!
Deepen your self love journey with Mary’s books:
*The Gift of Self-Love,* an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

*100 Days of Self-Love,* a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself.
Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast
Mentioned In This Episode...
My conversation with Oliver Burkeman about productivity

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman

My conversation with Amelia Nagoski about Burnout

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

Reddit discussion: Why self-help books are so popular in North America

TikTok creator Paige Turner on self-help advice and gender

Episode: How to Stop Comparing Your Current Self to Your Past Self

Kurt Vonnegut & Joseph Heller story about “enough”

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
35 min
February 26How to Feel Confident When You Speak with My Voice Coach Ryan O’Shea
Your voice changes when you feel insecure. It gets tighter, faster, or smaller, and suddenly you don’t feel confident anymore. In this conversation, we explore how to build real confidence by regulating your nervous system and learning to speak from a grounded, embodied confident place.
Mary is joined by voice and communication coach Ryan O’Shea to explore how your voice can make or break your confidence. And no, this isn’t about fixing vocal fry or sounding “more professional.” It’s about learning how to feel more grounded, authentic, present, and confident no matter who you’re communicating with.
You will learn…
Why some people naturally command attention while others feel chronically unheard

How nervous system regulation directly affects your voice and presence

The difference between rambling and inhibition — and how to find the sweet spot

A simple real-time practice you can use before a presentation, job interview, date, or hard conversation to feel more confident

The 3 components of a powerful vocal presence
Remember: confidence isn’t about sounding perfect. It’s about feeling safe and connected in your body when you speak. Your voice isn’t something to fix — it’s something to reclaim.
Ryan O’Shea is a Los Angeles based voice, accent, and communication coach certified in Fitzmaurice Voicework®, Knight-Thompson Speechwork®, and Organic Intelligence®. Ryan combines her experience as an actor and coach to develop a holistic approach to voice and communication. She wants her clients to feel that learning voice and communication skills can help them feel more like themselves, so she merges voice and delivery skills with tools of nervous system regulation and presence. Ryan works with actors who you've seen (and heard!) on HBO, Showtime, Netflix, AppleTV, Fox, ABC, as well in audiobooks, commercials, and theatres across the world. And she’s worked with countless entrepreneurs, and corporate communication clients from Adidas, Tinder, Alpinestars, and more.
Website: https://www.voiceandspeechwithryan.com/
Instagram: @voiceandspeechwithryan
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryan-o-shea-27a473277/
Self-led Voice Course: Foundations of Voicework, https://www.voiceandspeechwithryan.com/foundations-of-voicework
If you enjoyed this episode, share it with the women in your life! Or on social media! Be sure to tag @maryspodcast and @voiceandspeechwithryan

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
46 min