Mary's Cup of Tea: the Self Love Podcast for Women

Mary talks with licensed psychotherapist Whitney Goodman about the harmful effects of toxic positivity on our mental health. We’ve all heard it, seen it, and experienced it — those moments when someone brushes off your pain and tells you to “just think positive!” It’s dismissive, overwhelming, and the opposite of self compassion.

Whitney shares with us about... 

• what toxic positivity is and the different areas it shows up in (specifically how it appears in religion, workplace, health, grief, etc)
• how toxic positivity differs from true self compassion
• the antidote to toxic positivity 
• how to talk to your loved ones when they are experiencing pain
• self talk tools that will support your mental health without the pressure to have a positive mindset 24/7

Whitney Goodman is the radically honest psychotherapist behind the hugely popular Instagram account @sitwithwhit, the founder of Calling Home, author of Toxic Positivity, and owner of The Collaborative Counseling Center, a private online therapy practice in Florida. Her work deeply resonates with women who are navigating boundaries, complex family systems, and the pressure to stay “positive” no matter what.

Whitney earned her undergraduate degree at Tulane University and her graduate degree in Counseling Psychology from The University of Miami. She has advanced training in couples work, trauma, family dynamics, and chronic illness. Her writing appears in Psychology Today and she has been featured in The New York Times, Teen Vogue, NY Magazine, InStyle, and Good Morning America.

A millennial therapist committed to making mental health information accessible, Whitney believes authenticity and emotional expression are essential to living a grounded, meaningful life. Her transparency around her own humanity helps normalize the full spectrum of feelings we all experience.

Remember: “Happiness and positivity have become both a goal and an obligation.” But you don’t have to buy into that—real well-being honors your full emotional landscape and protects your mental health.

Follow Whitney on Instagram: @sitwithwhit

Get Whitney’s book Toxic Positivity here.

And if you're enjoying this self love podcast, share it with the women in your life! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @sitwithwhit.

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If decision fatigue has you spiraling, this episode will help you reconnect with your needs, wants, desires, and values. Mary shares 7 steps for soothing anxiety, finding clarity, and making choices with confidence and from a place of self-love. 

You will learn how to... 
- Stop outsourcing your life to other people’s opinions 
- Regulate your nervous system so you can make decisions from a place of confidence and self love 
- Clarify your values and return to your own inner guidance 

Remember: self love isn’t about making the “perfect” choice. It’s about making the choice that honors who you are right now. This episode is a self-love reminder for women who feel stuck or overwhelmed by decision fatigue. 

If you’re enjoying our self love podcast, share it with the women in your life to continue spreading the gift of self love. Deepen your self love journey with Mary’s books: 
1. The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 
2. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself. 

Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast 

Mentioned In This Episode: 
Podcast Interview: Why Self Worth Starts in Your Body with Beatriz Victoria Albina 
Book: Stop Emotional Outsourcing by Béa Victoria Albina 
Mary’s viral video: “What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do”

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Relationship conflict doesn’t have to feel like walking on eggshells. With the right tools and a sense of confidence and self trust, even the messiest moments can become turning points for deeper intimacy. This conversation with relationship expert Baya Voce is packed with research-backed relationship advice that helps you understand why you fight the way you do—and how to shift patterns that have followed you for years.

You will learn... 

• what healthy fighting look like and how to navigate conflict with confidence
• the different types of toxic tendencies many of us default to when triggered
• do men and women differ when it comes to default patterns?
• Gottman’s 4 Horsemen, the subtle-but-deadly behaviors that quietly erode connection
• what to do when you’ve asked your partner to change, but they can’t or won’t
• how to decide whether to stay in or leave a relationship

Remember: A healthy relationship isn’t defined by “never fighting.” It’s about navigating conflict with confidence, a regulated nervous system, and trust in your ability to repair.

Baya Voce is a relationship repair expert helping couples fight better and make up faster. She holds an MSW from Columbia University, is in ongoing supervision with Esther Perel, and is trained and mentored by Terry Real. Baya collaborates with Columbia University, MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies), and Rick Doblin on pioneering research into MDMA-assisted couples therapy. She regularly speaks at SXSW, and with over 5 million views, her TEDx talk on loneliness highlights the often-overlooked impact of relational disconnection.

Follow Baya on Instagram: @bayavoce

Baya’s Workbook on How To Bridge the “Effort Gap” in Your Relationship 

Get Baya’s free guide on what to say to your partner after a fight

And if you enjoyed this episode, share it with the women in your life to spread the gift of self love! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @bayavoce

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If intuitive eating feels harder during the holidays, you’re not alone. Between buffet tables, endless trigger foods, family comments, and social anxiety, it’s easy to slip into old, disordered eating habits. In this solo episode, Mary shares a simple but powerful intuitive eating tip that can help you feel less crazy around food. This mindset shift will help you approach holiday eating from a place of self compassion and self trust.

This episode isn’t about what’s on your plate — it’s about how you relate to it. Because when food becomes tangled up with guilt, rules, or anxiety, it takes away from your ability to be present in the moment. Instead of succumbing to diet culture, use this intuitive eating tip to rebuild your sense of safety around food and feel more full, whole, and complete.

If you’ve ever found yourself circling the snack table, cutting slivers of dessert, or trying to outsmart your hunger, this one’s going to hit home.

You deserve to be fed, nourished, and loved.

Deepen your self love journey with Mary’s books:

1. *The Gift of Self-Love,* an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
2. *100 Days of Self-Love,* a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself.

Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast

If you’re enjoying our self love podcast, please review the show and share it with the women in your life. Your support not only helps the show grow, but also spreads the message of self love– from intuitive eating to positive body image to self compassion as a whole.

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People mistakenly believe that self worth lives in the mind. Like if you just think confident thoughts or repeat affirmations like “I’m a worthy woman,” it’ll magically click. But if you’ve ever tried to think your way into feeling like you are enough, you’ve probably noticed… it doesn’t last. That’s because true self worth doesn’t start in your head — it starts in your body.

In this episode, Mary talks with Beatriz Victoria Albina, a Somatic Life Coach and author of End Emotional Outsourcing, to explore how reconnecting with your body can transform your relationship with yourself. Béa explains that so many women have been taught to “emotionally outsource” — to base their worth on other people’s validation, approval, or emotions. Traditionally, this has been labeled as codependency, but Béa offers a more compassionate lens that helps us understand why we do it and how to heal.

Together, they unpack what emotional outsourcing really means, how to regulate your nervous system, and how to come back home to yourself. This conversation will help you move beyond people pleasing and perfectionism and into a sense of embodied safety — where self worth isn’t something you have to prove, but something you feel.

In this episode, you will learn…

• why and how self worth starts in the body
• what emotional outsourcing is and how it differs from codependency
• how to break free from self abandonment and practice self compassion
• ways to stop chronically people pleasing and detach from others’ emotions

Beatriz Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, SEP (she/her) is a UCSF-trained Family Nurse Practitioner, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Master Certified Somatic Life Coach, author of "End Emotional Outsourcing: a Guide to Overcoming Codependent, Perfectionist and People Pleasing Habits" (published Sept 30) and Breathwork Meditation Guide with a passion for helping humans socialized as women to reconnect with their bodies, regulate their nervous systems and rewire their minds, so they can break free from codependency, perfectionism and people pleasing and reclaim their joy. She is the host of the Feminist Wellness Podcast, holds a Masters degree in Public Health from Boston University School of Public Health and a BA in Latin American Studies from Oberlin College. Born in Mar del Plata, Argentina, Béa grew up in the great state of Rhode Island. She has been working in health & wellness for over 20 years and lives with her wife, Billey Albina and their handsome all-black cat Wade.

🌿 Order Béa’s book End Emotional Outsourcing → beatrizalbina.com/book/

🧘‍♀️ Try her free meditations → beatrizalbina.com/free-meditations/

💌 Follow Béa on IG → @beatrizvictoriaalbinanp

💖 Tag @maryspodcast and share this episode with the women in your life to spread the gift of self love!

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Self love isn’t a one-time epiphany; it’s a lifelong practice of coming home to yourself. True self-love is rooted in deep self-awareness — because you can’t fully love yourself without first knowing yourself.

This Best Of Mary’s Cup of Tea episode brings together some of my favorite clips about healing through self-love. My hope is that these reminders meet you exactly where you are and offer a gentle nudge to keep showing up for yourself, even when the path feels messy or uncertain.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• why the cure to burnout is NOT self care
• how to detach your self worth from your productivity
• tools for healing from heartbreak and breakups
• a simple trick for practicing compassionate self talk
• the power of slowing down and resting
• how to hold onto hope when everything sucks
• ways to reconnect with yourself when you feel lost
• simple, grounded ways to prioritize self love every day
• mindset shifts for self love, confidence, and knowing that you are enough

Whether you’re coming out of burnout, trying to separate your worth from your work, or putting yourself back together after heartbreak, this episode is your reminder that self-love isn’t selfish. It’s essential.

✨ Deepen your self love journey with the full episodes featured:

• #237: 7 Self-Love Lessons I’m Taking Into My 27th Birthday
• #243: How to stay hopeful, soulful, and joyful with Victoria Hutchins
• #217: The Mistake We Make with Self-Love
• #180: Detaching Self-Worth from Productivity
• #138: Healing from Heartbreak
• #223: Dear Mary, how do I know if I’m on the right path?
• How to Love Yourself Through Trauma, Grief, and Chronic Pain
• Ep. 177: The Power of Slowing Down
• Ep. 209: The Cure for Burnout is Not Self-Care with Amelia Nagoski
• Ep. 156: Compassionate Self Talk
• #212: How To Be Honest with Yourself
• #122: Your Self-Love Survival Guide for When Everything Sucks
• #186: 5 Habits that Have Made Me a Better Person

Listen to the other episodes in this Best of Mary’s Cup of Tea Series:

1. Eating Disorder Recovery Tools for Women Who Are DONE with Diet Culture
2. Body Love & Self Worth for Women Who Hate Beauty Standards
3. Female Friendships Advice for Women Who Crave Deeper Connection
4. Healthy Relationship Advice for Women Who Value Love That Lasts
5. Powerful Mental Health & Mindset Shifts for Women Who Feel Lost
6. Confidence Practices for Women Who Want to Trust Themselves Again
7. Self Love Reminders for Women Who Are Ready for Healing

Deepen your self love journey with Mary’s books:

1. The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
2. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself.

Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast

If you’re enjoying our self love podcast, share it with the women in your life to continue spreading the self love tea!

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Confidence isn’t something you either have or you don’t — it’s something you practice, lose, question, rebuild, and redefine a hundred times over.

This “Best Of Mary’s Cup of Tea” episode brings together some of the most powerful confidence advice. Whether you’re rebuilding your self confidence after a setback, learning to trust yourself again, or simply trying to quiet that inner critic, this episode is your reminder that confidence is a practice. It’s for women who want to embody AUTHENTIC confidence.

We will unpack…

• signs that you’re struggling with self confidence
• mindset shifts that will help you feel more confident
• why your insecurities might secretly be your strengths
• advice from my teen sister (aka my confidence icon) on embracing your uniqueness
• how to stop comparing yourself to other versions of you
• ways to deal with criticism and rejection
• how the language we use shapes our worldview
• why affirmations don’t work (and what to do instead)
• what purpose means in the context of self love
• how to deal with uncertainty and self doubt

Whether you’re looking to boost your confidence or learn to trust yourself again, let this episode be a reminder of your self worth.

If you want to dive deeper into the confidence tips, here are the full episodes:

Full episodes:

• Ep. 167: 5 Signs You’re Struggling with Self Confidence
• Ep. 251: Delusional Mindset Shifts that Will Instantly Boost Your Confidence
• Ep. 197: The Only Way to Conquer Insecurities
• Confidence Advice for Teen Girls Feat. My 17-Year-Old Sister (video)
• Ep. 127: Nervous About Your Purpose? Listen to this.
• Ep. 189: 5 Thought Patterns Keeping You Stuck in a Negative Mindset
• Ep. 202: Dealing with Criticism
• Ep. 69: Is Diet Culture a Cult? with Amanda Montell
• Ep. 183: The Best Book on Communication
• How To Build Confidence Through Mindfulness with Dr. Ellen Langer
• Ep. 66: Dealing with Uncertainty, Fear, and Doubt
• Ep. 57: Why Affirmations Don’t Work (and What to Do Instead)
• Ep. 135: On Being a Multi-Passionate, Empathetic Creative with Arielle Estoria

💡 If you’re enjoying this self love podcast, share it with the women in your life!

Deepen your self love journey with Mary’s books:

1. *The Gift of Self-Love,* an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
2. *100 Days of Self-Love,* a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself.

Follow Mary Jelkovsky on Instagram: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast

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Taking care of your mental health is never one-size-fits-all, especially for women who experience self-criticism, overwhelm, and constant comparison.

This is part of our “Best Of Mary’s Cup of Tea” series, where I gathered some of the most powerful conversations we’ve had across 250+ episodes. Today’s episode focuses on mental health and positive mindset shifts for women who are ready to get unstuck.

You’ll hear clips on…

• motivating yourself with self compassion vs. self criticism
• letting go of control and perfectionism
• why women must approach mindset work through a feminist perspective
• how to redefine success on your terms
• healing your relationship to money and abundance
• the underrated power of enthusiasm
• mantras to carry you through hard times
• how to process emotions effectively
• coping with feeling lost or “behind” in life
• using the power of your mindset to cope with mental health struggles

Let this compilation be one giant reminder that you are enough and you are not alone. This self love podcast is here to support your mental health and mindset.

✨ Deepen your journey with the full episodes on our self-love podcast:

• Ep 101: Stop Judging Yourself
• Ep. 250: Productivity Meets Self-Compassion: Overcome Overwhelm with Oliver Burkeman
• Ep. 207: Why Women Are Trapped in the Virgin/Mother/Whore Paradigm & How to Break Free w/ Kara Loewentheil, J.D.
• Ep 98: How to Cope with Capitalism and Embrace Courageous Living with Rha Goddess
• Ep 189: 5 Thought Patterns Keeping You Stuck in a Negative Mindset
• Ep. 53: Money, Abundance, and Alignment with Melyssa Griffin
• Ep 195: The Most Underrated Emotion
• Ep 134: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
• Ep 90: To My Perfectionists
• Ep 226: 5 Mantras to Get You Through Hard Times
• Ep 224: How to Process Feelings and Emotions Effectively
• Ep 233: Motivating Yourself with Self Compassion
• Ep 163: Feeling Lost? Listen to this.
• Ep 185: Feeling Behind in Life? This one's for you.

💡 If you’re enjoying this self love podcast, please share it with a friend who could use a gentle reminder that they’re not alone.

Deepen your self-love journey with Mary’s books:

1. *The Gift of Self-Love,* an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
2. *100 Days of Self-Love,* a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself.

Follow Mary Jelkovsky on Instagram: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Healthy relationships are such a big part of self-love.

But love, dating, and long-term partnership can feel complicated — especially when it comes to intimacy, communication, and navigating conflict. In this self-love podcast episode, we’re diving into relationship advice for women who value love that lasts.

This is part of our “Best Of Mary’s Cup of Tea” series, where I pulled together some of the most powerful conversations we’ve had across 250+ episodes. Today’s episode focuses on relationship advice. Whether you’re single, dating, married, or hoping for long-term partnership, you deserve safe, healthy love.

You will hear about…

• early-stage dating advice from me and my husband
• keeping intimacy and sexual connection alive in long-term relationships
• easy ways to build eroticism and closeness with your partner
• how to create an egalitarian partnership
• navigating conflict, fighting fair, and communicating effectively
• recognizing and healing from toxic dynamics
• coping with heartbreak and learning to enjoy being single
• building up your self-worth to attract healthy, stable love

Whether you’re looking to boost your confidence in dating or strengthen your long-term partnership, tune in for practical, heartfelt relationship advice rooted in women empowerment.

May this be a reminder that healthy relationships — romantic or otherwise — are a key part of self-love.

If you want to dive deeper into relationships, intimacy, and healing, here are the full episodes:

• #199: Celebrating 1 Year Married w/ Husband! Dating and Relationship Advice
• #128: Making Your Relationship Last with Dr. Alexandra Solomon
• #194: How to Love Someone Without Losing Yourself with Dr. Alexandra Solomon
• How to Feel Sexy in a Long-Term Relationship with Sexologist Shan Boodram
• #147: Make Your Relationship(s) Better with These 2 Tips
• #38: Sex, Orgasms, & Masturbation with Emily Nagoski
• #239: My Unfiltered Opinions on Marriage, Dating, and Love
• #168: Imbalances in Relationships & How to Fix Them with Eve Rodsky
• #203: Coping with Getting Ghosted and Family Estrangement w/ Minaa B., LMSW
• #157: Wedding Reflections w/ my HUSBAND!
• #175: When It Feels “Too Good To Be True”
• The #1 Relationship Tip That Transformed My Marriage, Family, and Friendships
• #73: Healing from Toxic Relationships, Embracing Sobriety, and Growing Up Asian-American with Kelly Uchima
• #138: Healing from Heartbreak
• #238: The Art of Moving On… Breakup Advice with Kendra Allen

Deepen your self-love journey with Mary’s books:

1. The Gift of Self-Love – An interactive workbook that helps you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
2. 100 Days of Self-Love – A guided self-love journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and embrace who you are

Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast

If you’re enjoying this self love podcast, share it with your partner, friends, or anyone you want to nudge toward better relationships — and maybe try the eye-gazing challenge while you’re at it! ;)

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This self love podcast is ALL about women empowerment, and friendships are such a key part of that.

But female friendships in particular can feel complicated, especially as women navigate a world that often undervalues their emotional needs and social bonds. In this self-love podcast episode, we’re diving into friendship, connection, and how women can cultivate meaningful relationships in adulthood.

This is part of our “Best Of Mary’s Cup of Tea” series where you’ll hear a compilation of clips from our self-love podcast. Today’s episode focuses on friendships, connection, and the joy of being close to like-hearted women.

You will hear about…

• how to make new friends as an adult
• ways to get closer with your existing friends
• breaking past surface-level “catch-up culture” and building rituals that matter
• the different types of friendships women can cultivate and why quality matters
• navigating conflict in female friendships with compassion
• overcoming fear of rejection and people-pleasing in relationships
• why in-person gathering is an important part of community-building
• why asking for help is a powerful way to strengthen bonds

Whether you already have great girl friends and want to get closer or are looking to find your people, this episode will help you with the who/ what/ where/ how and why.

May this be a reminder that meaningful relationships are a key part of self-love and women’s empowerment.

If you want to dive deeper into female friendships and building your support system, here are the full episodes:

• #236: Making Friends as an Adult – Where, How, and Why
• #236: How To Make Adult Friendships Easier with Kat Vellos
  • Kat’s blog post about my neighbor’s BBQ
• #159: How To Make Your Friendships Stronger
• Feeling Lost After Eating Disorder Recovery and Befriending Like-Minded Women with Jessi Jean
• #230: Bestie Break-Ups and Why Female Friendships Feel So Fragile with Danielle Bayard Jackson
• #219: Should Your Partner Be Your Best Friend? with Rhaina Cohen
• #231: Meet My Bestie Dahli Durley! Neurodivergence, Retreat Reflections, and 2025 Goals
• #146: Overcoming Rejection and People Not Liking You
• #165: People-Pleasing Thought Patterns & How to Break Them with Béa Victoria Albina
• #190: How to Ask for & Receive HELP without Feeling Guilty
• #188: 12 Lessons Learned in 2023 (on Marriage, Family, and Friendships)

Let these conversations be your friendly nudge to show up for the women who matter in your life. Because the people around you can make or break your self love journey.

Deepen your self-love journey with Mary’s books:

1. *The Gift of Self-Love,* an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
2. *100 Days of Self-Love,* a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast

If you’re enjoying this self-love podcast, share it with the women in your life to support womens empowerment and promote self love.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.