Men, Sex, and Pleasure with Cam Fraser

By Cam FraserHealth & Fitness Sexuality

Men, Sex, and Pleasure with Cam Fraser episodes

September 15, 2024 #231 Sex Work, Disability, and the Deaf Community (with Katia Schwartz)
On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Katia Schwartz. Katia is a disability and sex worker rights activist, with a career in the sex industry spanning over 16 years. As a profoundly deaf, queer sex worker, Katia navigates unique intersections and is passionate about advocating for the destigmatisation and inclusion of marginalised groups.

Episode transcript: CLICK HERE

Key points:
Introductions and background
Katia introduces herself as a deaf, disabled sex worker who lives on Gadigal land in Sydney and does advocacy work for the disabled and sex worker communities. Cam shares that he previously wrote a blog post about the appropriation of sex worker aesthetics, in which he quoted Katia.

Katia's experience on SBS Insight
Katia describes being approached by the producers of the SBS Insight TV show to appear on an episode about "Convenient Relationships" and transactional relationships. She made her access needs clear, including requiring an Auslan interpreter and accurate closed captions, which the producers agreed to. However, when the episode aired, the captions were poor quality and not synced properly, making it inaccessible for Katia. She tried to resolve the issue with the network but faced dismissive responses.

Misconceptions about disability and sex work
Katia discusses common misconceptions people have about disabled people and sex workers, including the assumption that disabled people cannot or should not engage in sexual activity. She shares examples of inappropriate questions she's received, like "How do you have sex if you're deaf?" Katia explains how her disability informs and enhances her sex work in positive ways, like her heightened sensory awareness and communication skills.

Advice for allies and advocates
Katia provides advice for allies and advocates, emphasizing the importance of listening to marginalized voices, being open to feedback, and amplifying the perspectives of those with lived experiences. She encourages people to diversify their social media feeds and be mindful of the representation and narratives they consume.

Wrap-up and resources
Katia shares how to find and connect with her online, including her Instagram handle and website. Cam thanks Katia for the insightful conversation and the opportunity to learn.

Relevant links:
Katia's website: www.thegingerdoll.com
Katia's Instagram: www.instagram.com/katiaschwartz
55 min
September 11, 2024 Quicky #78 Barriers Men Face When Dating (with David Chambers)
From episode #79 with David Chambers.

More from that episode:
- David shares about his work and passions
- Purpose vs passion
- Co-creating attraction and intimacy
- Overthinking and anxiety
- Treating dating like a video game
- Invitations vs expectations
- British masculinity and being a Black man
- Race and the white spirituality community
4 min
September 08, 2024 #230 Pleasure-Centred Sex Education and Self-Pleasure Experimentation (with Danielle Bezalel)
On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Danielle Bezalel, MPH, aka DB (she/her/hers). Danielle is the Creator, Executive Producer, and Host of the ⁠Sex Ed with DB⁠ podcast, a feminist podcast bringing you all the sex ed you never got, centering LGBTQ+ and BIPOC experts. Danielle earned a Master of Public Health with expertise in sexuality, sexual, and reproductive health from Columbia University. Danielle lives in Oakland, CA. Go to⁠ www.sexedwithdb.com⁠ to learn more about the podcast and get discounts on DB’s faves ⁠here⁠. You can listen to the podcast on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠,⁠ Spotify⁠, ⁠Soundcloud⁠, or wherever you get your podcasts. Follow Sex Ed with DB on⁠ TikTok⁠,⁠ Instagram⁠,⁠ Twitter⁠, and ⁠YouTube⁠.

Key points:
Introductions and background
Danielle introduces herself as a sex educator and podcast host, sharing her passion for providing medically accurate, pleasure-centered sex education. Cam shares that his wife is also a musician and has done work related to birth and postpartum.

Defining pleasure-centered sex education
Danielle and Cam discuss what it means to have a "pleasure-centered" approach to sex education, focusing on topics like birth control, STIs, LGBTQIA+ health, consent, and the physical and emotional aspects of sex. They emphasize the importance of using scientifically-backed, non-judgmental, and inclusive language.

Danielle's "Magic Wand" self-pleasure experiment
Danielle shares details about a self-experiment she conducted using a Magic Wand vibrator, tracking the impact on her health, mood, and sexual experience over three weeks. The results showed decreased stress and anxiety, more positive moods, and increased libido when using the Magic Wand daily.

Navigating public discussions about and intimacy
Cam and Danielle discuss the challenges of having public conversations about sex, particularly for men. They explore the differences in how men and women are typically portrayed when discussing their masturbation habits, and the importance of creating safe spaces for open, non-judgmental dialogue.

Closing thoughts and resources
Danielle shares some final wisdom about the importance of self-love and appreciation, and provides information about how to connect with her through her podcast, social media, and an upcoming workshop on building a profitable online education business.
1 hr 7 min
September 04, 2024 Quicky #76 Slow Down for Better Sex (with Melanie Curtin)
From episode #76 with Melanie Curtin.

More from that episode:
- Melanie shares about her work and research
- Healing from religious trauma
- Creating safety for men to explore sexuality
- 70% of men are not good in bed
- “Too much, too fast”
- Expectations of male sexuality
- Teasing and touching a woman
- Creating safety for women to explore sexuality
- Communication skills
4 min
September 01, 2024 #229 Navigating Trauma, Consent, and Masculinity (with Jimanekia Eborn)
On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Jimanekia Eborn. Jimanekia Eborn is a Queer Sexual Assault & Trauma Expert, Trauma Media Consultant, and Comprehensive Sex Educator. She is the host of Trauma Queen - a podcast working to normalize conversations about life's most challenging experiences, from sexual assault to mental health and beyond. Jimanekia is the Founder of Tending The Garden- a nonprofit in service of sexual assault survivors who have been marginalized; offering retreats, online summits, community and education. She is also the co-founder of Cintima, bringing increased representation to the field of Intimacy Coordination in the film industry.
Key points:
Introductions and background
Jimanekia introduces herself, sharing her full name and background. She describes herself as an inquisitive, question-asking person who has experienced various traumas and is now dedicated to supporting others navigating difficult experiences. She outlines her diverse work, including the Jimanekia project focused on assault, her trauma-focused podcast, an intimacy coordinator training company, and her role in the mental health department of a professional wrestling company.
Trauma-informed support and advocacy
Jimanekia discusses her approach to supporting survivors, emphasizing the importance of allowing them to guide the conversation and decide how they want to share their experiences. She contrasts this with common unhelpful responses that project assumptions or make demands of survivors. Jimanekia also highlights the need for more trauma-informed support, especially for marginalized groups and men, who often face additional stigma and barriers to disclosing.
Navigating trauma and consent
The conversation explores the complexities around trauma, consent, and gender. Jimanekia and Cam discuss the societal pressures and norms that can prevent men from recognizing or disclosing their experiences of abuse, as well as the tendency to dismiss or trivialize these experiences. They emphasize the importance of creating safe spaces for all survivors to be heard and supported without judgment.
Systemic change and accountability
Jimanekia and Cam discuss the need for broader systemic changes to address the root causes of violence and trauma, such as harmful gender norms, power imbalances, and lack of accountability. They highlight the responsibility of institutions and communities to proactively create safer environments and provide comprehensive support for survivors, rather than placing the burden on individuals.
Closing thoughts
Jimanekia closes the conversation by offering encouragement and validation to any male survivors listening, emphasizing that their experiences are not their fault and that there are supportive communities available to them.
Relevant links:
Jimanekia's Instagram: @jimanekia
Jimanekia's websites: https://traumaqueen.love/ and https://www.cintima.co/
56 min
August 28, 2024 Quicky #75 Catholicism's Impact on Sexual Embodiment (with Darragh Stewart)
From episode #75 with Darragh Stewart.

More from that episode:
- Darragh shares some of his story
- Religion and the lack of embodiment in Ireland
- Alcohol and drinking culture
- The quintessential Irish man
- Exploring sexuality in men’s work
- Lad culture and banter
- Psychedelic ceremonies and men’s circles
- Attitudes towards psychedelics
5 min
August 25, 2024 #228 Increasing Girth with PhalloFILL® (with William Moore)
On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with William Moore. William is the founder of the Dallas-based biohacking clinic AdvancedYOU and the visionary behind PhalloFILL®, the leading network for non-surgical penile girth enhancement. After launching in 2021, PhalloFILL now spans 20 U.S. markets, Mexico City, and Montreal, solidifying its status as the largest and most accessible treatment for penile girth enhancement. Beyond the clinics, Moore is the President of the Texas Med Spa Association, advocating for LGBTQ+ rights and healthcare equality. With an MBA and an M.S. in Health and Human Performance, William draws on two decades of experience to guide patients to optimal health, enhanced appearance, and heightened self-esteem.

Key points:
- William introduces himself
- What is PhalloFILL
- Length vs Girth
- Treatment options
- Do you need to be bigger?

Relevant links:
William's website: https://phallofill.com/locations/texas/dallas/
55 min
August 21, 2024 Quicky #74 The Orgasmic Magic of Sexual Presence (with Aren Bahia)
From episode #74 with Aren Bahia.

More from the episode:
- Aren shares about his “Eat, Pray, Love” journey
- Catalysts for transformation
- Learnings from organized crime
- Practical aspects of spirituality
- Compartmentalization, context and authenticity
- The “Bad Boy” mask: Performing masculinity
- Self-pleasure, self-care, sex, and sensuality
- Defining presence and being present
- Owning your arousal and communicating with a partner
3 min
August 18, 2024 #227 Enhancing Intimacy (with Magda Kay)
On this episode of #mensexpleausure, I chat with Magda Kay. Magda is an Intimacy Expert, Tantra Teacher & Conscious Relating Coach, author, and founder of the School of Intimacy. More than 10 years ago she quit her corporate job, and embarked on a journey that led her through ashrams, yoga trainings, Tantric communities, and ceremonies. through hours of daily devotion and practices into her deepest parts, facing the wounds and fears, and it also revealed her highest calling: to share and teach others how to access their deepest desires and ability to create transformative intimacy in their lives. Her work combines the gifts of the East and the West, a blend of Tantric and yogic philosophies with psychology and human behaviour.

Key points:
Introductions and background
Cam and Magda introduce themselves and share their personal journeys that led them to their current work as intimacy and relationship experts. Magda shares how her own struggles with intimacy and shame around her motivated her to dive deep into Tantra and somatic practices to heal and transform her relationship with her body and .

Navigating boundaries and safety
Magda and Cam discuss the importance of creating safety and comfort in intimate relationships, and how to navigate the difference between "want to" and "willing to" when it comes to activities. They emphasize the need to honor each partner's boundaries and not make assumptions about their desires or comfort levels.

Communicating effectively about intimacy
Magda provides practical tips for how partners can communicate more effectively about their intimate needs and desires, such as avoiding yes/no questions, not trying to answer questions for your partner, and being patient as they explore and discover what they want. She highlights the importance of foreplay and building anticipation throughout the day.

Gendered differences in intimacy
Cam and Magda discuss how gender stereotypes and societal expectations can impact people's relationships with their and bodies. They share insights about how men and women may have different needs and preferences when it comes to intimacy, and the importance of being open-minded and not making assumptions.

Practical tips for enhancing intimacy
Magda and Cam provide specific techniques and practices that couples can try to build safety, comfort, and playfulness in their intimate lives. This includes non- touch and sensuality, directing energy through the body, and being willing to experiment and not take intimacy too seriously.

Recap and closing
Cam and Magda conclude the conversation by emphasizing the importance of bringing more lightness, playfulness, and self-compassion to one's intimate experiences. They express gratitude for the opportunity to connect and share their insights.

Relevant links:
Magda's website: https://magdakay.com/
Magda's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/magdakayofficial/
1 hr 2 min
August 14, 2024 Quicky #73 Prostate Cancer and Sexual Desire (with Mish Middelmann)
From episode #73 with Mish Middelmann.

More from that episode:
- Mish talks about his diagnosis
- The process of prostatectomy
- Recovery and rehabilitation
- Impacts on masculinity and virility
- Erectile dysfunction after prostate surgery
- Learning new ways of being sexual
- Viagra, penis pumps and dry orgasms
- Reconnecting with a partner
5 min