NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship

By Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach , Gaslighting Expert, No Contact MentorHealth & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement How To

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NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship episodes

July 10, 2025Feeling Hooked by the Narcissist Again? Do This to Reclaim Your Power in 5 Minutes
👉 Book your private session → https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
🔥 50% OFF Empowered Boundaries Course — through July 12th!
👉 Grab it here → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/?coupon=50OFFEMPOWERED
💬 Join my private FREE Facebook group for support + healing:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations, or coaching?
Email me anytime — I got you: [email protected]
---
When a narcissist gets in your head, it can feel impossible to think straight — let alone feel safe in your body. But you don’t have to stay stuck in that spiral.
In this short but powerful Thrive in 5, I’ll walk you through a calming reset to help you:
Ground your nervous system
Detach from their drama
Reconnect with your truth and worth
Perfect for those moments when you feel triggered, confused, or tempted to re-engage. Pop in your earbuds, take a few deep breaths, and come back to your power. 👑
TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to your Thursday. Thrive in five. Your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. Hello queens. It's thriving five time today. We're resetting your nervous system. Oh, I love a good reset. If you've been spiraling with thoughts, like why do they act like that? Did I overreact? Am I the crazy one first? No, you're not. Right? But let's take a breath. Let's calm our energy because we're going to reset. So take an inhale through your nose and exhale. Okay. When you feel ready, put your hand on your heart or your belly, whichever feels more grounding to you. And we're going to do a halo breath. That's a nice deep breath in through your nose. Inhale. Hold that for 3, 2, 1. Exhaling slowly like you're blowing out a candle. Let's do that one more time. Inhale. Hold. 3, 2, 1. Exhaling like you're blowing that candle. Alright, now say this with me. You can say it out loud or silently. I always like to say things out loud, but that's just me and some of you. Okay, so repeat after me. Their behavior is not a reflection of my worth.
(01:44)
Good. Okay. Repeat after me again. I am not responsible for their dysfunction. Good. And now I choose peace over chaos. I detach to protect. Awesome. Now gently tap your chest with your first two fingertips. Either hand just a light rhythm. This actually helps calm your vagus nerve and signals safety to your body. This is something you can use if you've just gotten a text from your asshole co-parent or your actual parent, your mom or your dad, that might be toxic. Your boss gently tapping your chest with your fingertips, lightly letting your breath calm. And as you tap, you can repeat. I am safe.
(03:03)
I am strong. I see truth. Now let's do that again. I am safe. I am strong. I see the truth. Now if emotion rises up, let it. Tears are not weakness. They're release. Okay? Tears are release. You have a lot of stuff stuck up in that bode. Alright? We're here to let it out. When you understand why the narcissist acts the way they do, you don't have to keep reliving it. You can recognize the patterns. We don't need to know every in and out. But when you recognize the patterns, it helps you don't owe them your confusion, okay? You owe you some clarity on it, right? But that doesn't mean they need your confusion. You just get clear with the patterns. Okay? You are safe. You are strong. You can see that truth now, okay? And if you haven't, well let's take a breath and kind of come back here.
(04:30)
Take an inhale halo through the nose and release and carry that peaceful feeling through the day, right? And if you didn't listen to Tuesday's episode, it's a good one. It's might be one of the favorite ones I've done in a while. It's really talking about why they do what they do and the patterns. I think it'll be really helpful for you if you've not listened to that and paired with this. It's a good week of episodes. I'm like in this week. Okay, so you got this queen, you got it. Look at your crown. All shiny. Look at you looking all cute. Okay, you got it. We're here and we are here. Do you know about that Facebook private group? Go join it. Link is always in the show notes and so are ways to work with me. Alright, I will see you in the next episode.
(05:32)
That's your Thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your piece like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast, you don't miss a moment and check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.
7 min
July 08, 2025 Why Do Narcissists Act Like That? Understanding Their Mind Games So You Can Finally Detach
👉 Book your private session → https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
🔥 50% OFF Empowered Boundaries Course — through July 12th!
👉 Grab it here → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/?coupon=50OFFEMPOWERED
💬 Join my private FREE Facebook group for support + healing:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations, or coaching?
Email me anytime — I got you: [email protected]
---
🎧 **Episode: Why Do Narcissists Act Like That? Understanding Their Mind Games So You Can Finally Detach**
Ever felt blindsided by a narcissist’s hot-and-cold behavior? One minute they’re charming, the next they’re cruel — and you're left wondering what just happened. In this episode, we break down *why* narcissists behave the way they do, what really drives their mind games, and how understanding their psychology can help you finally stop taking it personally.
You’ll learn:
- What narcissists truly fear (hint: it’s not what you think)
- Why they punish, manipulate, and gaslight — even when they “seem fine”
- The emotional patterns behind their toxic behavior
- How this knowledge helps you detach and reclaim your peace
Let’s decode the dysfunction and take your energy back.
---
👑 **Work with Me 1:1:**
• Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
• Somatic Sparkle Healing Sessions → https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
🧘 **Freebies & Resources:**
• 4-Minute Mood Boost Meditation → https://christyjade.ck.page/insider
• #NotMyShit Journal on Amazon → https://amzn.to/46dDSYk

TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ever found yourself asking Why are they like this? The lies, the cold shoulder, the gaslighting. It can feel like a dang roller coaster. You never asked to ride. But what if I told you there is a method to the madness? Today we're digging into the psychology of the narcissist so you can stop blaming yourself and start breaking free. Stay tuned. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted.
(01:01)
Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. All right, Queens. If you are here, you probably had your piece hijacked by a narcissist or maybe a few. If you're lucky. One like me, so many of us, you probably spent way too much time trying to figure them out. What makes them tick? Why do they hurt people? Do they know they're doing it? So today I'm handing you the emotional decoder ring. Wouldn't it be nice if we had a real one? Yeah. So we're going to go inside the narcissist mind, not to fix them, but to free you.
(01:57)
I'm going to repeat that again. Not to fix them, but to free you. We do not have control over them. So when you understand what drives their behavior, it stops feeling as personal and it stops being as confusing, and that's where you get your power back. Okay, so let's start here. Narcissists are not just confident jerks. They've got this branding on them. Oh, they're just these arrogant jerks, right? I think at this point, hopefully it's more than that, but maybe you don't. So let's talk about underneath that. What is it right underneath that arrogance? It is deep, deep, deep insecurity. That's the irony of it. They're so insecure. They have a mask they wear of arrogance that even they technically can buy into their own mask. So they have a very fragile sense of self and a desperate, desperate need for control. What do I always say?
(02:57)
They're always trying to either get control if they don't have it or see if they do have control or get that control back. If they don't have it and they need the admiration, you need to beef them up or else. And power, essentially, control and power go hand in hand. So most narcissists have this internal belief. They're either superior or worthless. There's no middle ground, but most of them, I would say in my experience from my knowledge, is that they really are building a false sense to cover the shame of who they think they are. And they demand constant validation to keep that false self alive. Imagine if you're holding this mask up to your face, you're holding it, and if you don't get fed the beliefs that you're amazing and you're this and that, and you're so great and you don't push someone else down to gain the power, you drop the mask.
(03:57)
So you have to be constantly fed. So this is what we call the narcissistic supply. Maybe you've heard that. Get comfy with that name. That is very common. Narcissistic supply. They need the supply. They need to be fed. So here are six truths about how they think and operate. Number one, we know this control, control, control. It equals safety to them. They do not feel safe unless they're in control of people. The narrative, the stories, and the emotions. So if you're unpredictable or you set a boundary, woo, that threatens their power because then they're not in control. If someone's giving them rules, them boundaries, Uhuh, they do not like that. So what do they do? I call 'em the punisher. Remember that song? Punisher? What you looking for? Okay, the punishers. So they will punish or manipulate you to regain the control. They often do both.
(05:07)
So you've probably been a victim of both the punishment and the manipulation. Okay, so number two, empathy is seen as weakness. So they're not wired to truly feel others'. Pain, and usually we know this. That's another pretty glaring sign of narcissists that they're not empathetic. Some of them will mimic empathy and that can get confusing, but it's kind of more of a performative thing. If you get familiar with it, you can usually tell the difference after a while and it serves a purpose. It's not just like, oh, man, I feel so bad for that person or that animal, or, oh, how we might feel. They have empathy to serve a purpose, to win, trust, to make you think they're like that. So you will trust and relate to them to disarm you or whoever they're dealing with, or to keep you around because they know you prefer people who have empathy like most of the world.
(06:11)
Okay, number three, they fear abandonment more than anything. Anything I can think of. This one particular narcissist in my life, oh my goodness, the fear of abandonment is real in all aspects of their life, and they are someone also who can never be alone. So often they will maybe cheat if they're having trouble with someone they're with. Why do they cheat? Because they feel like they maybe don't want to be in this situation anymore, but they sure as hell don't want to be alone. So what do they do? They cheat and find someone else to replace that person so they won't be left alone. They don't want to be alone. Even though their behavior pushes people away, their biggest fear is being left. So they're going to do it before the other person does it. So they test you. Have you been tested? Do you know what that means?
(07:06)
I can think of experiences. Oh, where people have pushed me away. It is very obvious. Once I knew narcissism, I actually have had a friend in the past. After I really know what narcissism was, I realized this one friend of mine was probably a narcissist, and then I realized, yes, this is a huge thing, is the testing. They will test you to see how hard you'll fight for them. Basically what you'll put up with to prove that you're not going to leave them and abandon them. What did I say? I said F that I will abandon you. Bye-bye. Okay. They also breadcrumb, right? So they'll give you little crumbs of, oh, you're so special. You're the best love bombing. In a way, the obvious love bombs too, but the breadcrumbs are the more subtle things that keep you around thinking, oh, see, they're pretty good, and oh, they do think I'm special.
(08:01)
There is a connection between us, but they do it all to see if you will chase them and it's sick, and I hate that part about them. I hate most parts about them. Alright, number four, shame drives everything. Most narcissists are drowning in unhealed shame, but instead of facing it, they deflect it onto who? Not themselves. They're not known for accountability. Are they new? So they will deflect it onto others. That could be the person they're romantically involved with. That could be the waiter or waitress that's working at their table. That's why you end up apologizing for their behavior. They will flip the script. They will lie, they'll blame. They'll project. They will twist. What say to the point you're like, wait, is this my hold on? Is this my fault? Did that happen? They make you so mind screwed that you don't even know top from bottom when you're done with them.
(09:09)
Number five, they see people as extensions. This is really important. This is something that I learned as I got education and really looked from the outside in on the other side of things. Really got more of a idea that wasn't as obvious, I guess, as the things like, oh, they want control that you learn pretty quickly, but they see people as extensions, so you're not seen as a separate autonomous person. So this can be very common if you have a narcissistic parent, you are an extension of them. But this also can happen in romantic situations or best friendships, those really codependent best friendships. So you are either useful to their ego or you are a threat to it. So when you stop doing what they want, when they want, how they want on their terms, when you stop walking on eggshells, damn sick of it, which is what I did with a specific friend, guess what?
(10:11)
They start to devalue you and they try to also, what this particular person did, and I don't know if I really have this in this set of things, but another thing they will do is make sure that you know how important they are to you and that you need them. That's something that happened, right? So when they feel you start to pull away, they're also probably going to try to remind you how you need them and almost are undeserving of them, especially in romantic situations. You hear a lot of, oh, you'll never find someone like me. Actually, my ex-boyfriend went and on our last breakup, yes, of course you know the drill. If you're with a narcissist, you're going to have a few breakups. On our last breakup, he said to me, you will never find someone like me. And I said, thank God. Boom.
(11:08)
Drop the mic. There's a line for you. Alright? But anyway, getting back to seeing people as extensions, right? So that's romantic situation, friendship, anything, and you stop doing what they want, you stop or you start calling them out or saying, why are you doing this? Instead of just being submissive about things that you've been conditioned to do, they hate it, right? No, no. They start to devalue you and really start to again, flip the script, gaslight, all of that. Number six, they don't want healing. I'll say it again. They do not want healing. They want power. This is for a lot of people, the hardest truth to accept, but most narcissists, and I don't have an exact percentage, you guys, but it's very, very low, very low.
(12:01)
I love to have faith in people. Believe me, I'm a healing wisher, narcissists. I will pray all day. I still pray for a narcissist that was in my life every single night that they find peace. But most of them will never, ever change because they don't want to heal. That's not what they're here for. We're here to grow, right? I love growing every day. I love watching my life grow and flourish and take accountability and say, oh, you know what? I used to do this and now I don't. That's beautiful because I'm not here to win. They want to win. Their insecurities are so severe, they have to win to feel safe. Remember going back to that earlier, I forget what number was that?
(12:54)
Basically they're not feeling safe unless they're in control. Number one, it was number one, right? The control aspect, they just don't feel safe unless they're in control and they're winning, they need to win. So why does all this matter? Because when you finally understand it is not about you, and that can hurt in a way too. I get it right? You think you're special and you have this connection. I get that part is really hard, and we will get to healing that. But when you flip that in a positive way, it's not you. It's not not the crazy one. You're not X, y, Z. This is all them. But when you do that, the fog starts to lift. You stop twisting yourself in knots, trying to be good enough for the narc. You stop explaining yourself to someone who's committed to misunderstanding you. It's not even that they misunderstand you, right?
(13:56)
They put on a facade of misunderstanding you. They play dumb. They play confused or twist things. They know exactly what they're doing though. But when you're in it, you think they're misunderstanding you and you're explaining yourself, no, but that's not what I meant and did it. No, we're done explaining ourselves to anyone. Stop hoping for closure from someone who can't even be honest with themselves. These people really have a severe deficiency. See, they're not even real with themselves. They're not going to be real with you. They're always going to lie. They're always going to switch, flip the switch, whatever. They're always going to love bomb. They're always going to abuse that very, very minute amount of narcissists that get help. It's such a small amount. I don't even want to mention it, but I like to have a little tiny bit of hope. But in general, I'm telling you statistically, guys, if you're having hope, it's a way better bet to bet on yourself being okay getting out of the situation you're in, if you're still in it or healing from it and being able to say, I know I'm better off.
(15:19)
That's what you should be betting on. The statistics are way higher for people surviving after narcissistic abuse and healing than staying with one and the narcissist actually changing. First of all, if that even happened, it would take probably decades and your damage would be so much worse. So my advice is always get the fuck out. So I want you today to take away this. You didn't cause their behavior. You can't change their wiring and you don't need to understand every move. That's the thing. We've got to get out of our heads here. You're not going to think your way out of narcissistic abuse.
(16:09)
That's why we do somatic healing. Check my notes. Sign up for a session with me. You change from the body. The body remembers. You feel it in your body, don't you? Yeah. That's where we need to really heal, and we can do coaching all day long too. I love to, but the body is where it's at. So you just don't need to understand everything and figure everything out. You're not going to, you can understand from a zoomed out lens who a narcissist is, even stuff like this today, right? Understanding them a little more and a little insight goes a long way to help you detach, helping protect that piece. That's what this is about. You're not here to change them. You're not here to make them understand. You're not even here to say, I'm going to call you out and show you. I know what you're fucking doing. That can be how it feels when you start to heal. You want to do that and want to be like, oh, now I know, and no, this is about peace. How can you have peace? How can you control your end of things? How can you stop internalizing their dysfunction?
(17:20)
How do you stop internalizing their dysfunction? It's all this stuff. Listening to me and other people talk about it, learning about it, getting coaching with me, getting somatic healing with me. Somatic healing is fire. I love talking about it. It's magic. But this episode isn't about that. We can go there, but I want to finish this up. Getting a little lengthy. I try to keep this under 20 minutes. So look, this is about liberation, not a diagnosis, right? It's about the truth, your truth, the real truth, not their truth. Their truth is a fake truth. They're fake. They have a facade. So if you want to go deeper, of course, look at my show notes to see if you would like to do coaching. If you do somatic healing, we can do a combination. If you have questions about working with me or I have an Empowered Boundaries course, I actually still have not taken the coupon code off that.
(18:27)
So it's your lucky. It's your lucky day. Maybe I'll keep this through the week. One more week. I know people are vacationing. Keep it one more week. It's 50% off. That's insane. I don't do that. I don't do that for this course. I don't think I've ever done 50% off till this month. If you need help setting boundaries, it's an amazing course for a good price right now. So always look at my show notes to see how to work with me, and you can also email me. My email is in there. It's fierce Mama C at Gmail, okay? So I would love to help you reset your nervous system, set boundaries and actually feel powerful. They take it, they take our power. I get it, and I'd love to help you feel in whatever way that is. You let me know, email me. We can do a customized program.
(19:18)
I do it some of my clients where we do coaching and somatic. Or if you just want to do the body work, you just want to do the coaching, whatever feels good to you, also, please click the little follow button. If you're not following my podcast, follow it actually helps you, but it helps me too. Let's help each other. It helps me reach more women that need this help. And this is like there's a lot of us out there. So if I can help more and more people, that would be amazing. So if you can help me get there by taking 20 seconds to scroll around and find that little follow button, the algorithm actually does make that. So the more people that do that, the more followers I have, the more they spit me out to show other women who are also searching for narcissistic abuse help to get my podcast.
(20:13)
So I love helping. So I'm going to definitely have you guys help me and it'll help you because you'll get notification of all my podcasts. Yay. Alright? So don't forget, Thursdays are Thrive in Five. I usually have them related to our Tuesday episodes. So it's like maybe a somatic exercise or experience, five minutes or under, and to just get a little body work in on your own. So until then, protect that energy. Put a big, shiny, golden love bubble around you. Protect yourself. Love your future self and your past self, right? Give her grace. None of this is your fault. None of this is your fault. I've seen so many people say, oh, why would they stay in that situation? They don't get it. They don't have to get it F them, okay? You know why you stayed? It was scarier to leave probably for many reasons. I get it. I get you. Okay. You're not broken, you're just waking up. Alright, Queens, love you. See you in the next episode.
22 min
July 03, 2025 How to Spot a Narcissist in 60 Seconds
50% off Empowered Boundaries course Through July 4th!
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/?coupon=50OFFEMPOWERED

Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989

Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode):
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: [email protected]
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider

Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk

TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, Queens. So we're here today to talk about how to spot a narcissist. You don't need a psychology degree to know something feels off in under 60 seconds today. Let's break down the one trait to watch for no matter what type of narcissist you're dealing with, welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath, queen, this one's for you. So ulnar narcissists, covert, overt, communal, or malignant have one thing in common. They violate your boundaries and then make you question yourself for having any. So whether it's the passive guilt tripping or outright crazy rage, they will do whatever it takes to stay in control, right? We no doubt about all narcissists is they need control, and if they don't have it, they're going to try to get away.
(01:09)
Find a way to get it right, and it's very exhausting. So here's what you can do. Take note of how you feel after every interaction with this person. If you feel drained, anxious, confused, or like you're constantly apologizing, trust that your nervous system is picking up on what your brain is trying to rationalize. I'm going to say that again. Your nervous system is picking up on what your brain is trying to rationalize, right? They're a little separate, our brain and our body. So it can take a second for our nervous system to pick up on what's going on. So you breathe, you exhale, and you wait and see how you feel. And if you feel like your boundaries have been violated, you remind yourself, I am allowed to have boundaries. I am not the problem. Right? So there's also a quote that I love that I'm going to share with you.
(02:25)
Maybe you've heard it. It's a good one. Especially it comes to narcissists and keeping a distance from them. It's a good reminder. The people who don't like you having any boundaries are those who benefit from you having none. Drop the mic, right? So that is something to pay attention to if they're violating your boundaries and if you set boundaries, how they make you feel about that, right? All of these things go hand in hand. You're feeling drained, anxious, confused, constantly apologizing, right? You may have brief windows of when they're love bombing you or trying to make you feel ultra special just to get you to the next encounter where they suck you dry because you are feeding them. So if you have that pattern, you don't want that pattern. Nobody wants that pattern. So if you have that pattern, get away from that pattern. Come on, go listen to more episodes.
(03:34)
And speaking of more episodes, if you want the full breakdown on those four narcissistic types that I mentioned, the covert, overt, communal, or malignant, and how to protect your piece from each one, go listen to Tuesday's episode. Which narcissist are you dealing with? So you can figure out which kind you're dealing with, how to deal with them. Alright, I hope you enjoyed this brief yet, hopefully empowering podcast episode. And as a reminder, I have my regular episodes on Tuesdays and then our Thrive in Fives on Thursdays. And if you would please to help me out and to help you out, find that follow button if you are not following and go check, because sometimes I've had people think they're following my podcast and they aren't, right? So just go double check that you are in fact following. And as always, any information on working with me one-on-one or purchasing My Empowered Boundaries course will always be in the podcast description box. And I hope you have a fabulous, fabulous day. And I hope that if you do spot a narcissist, you run. Alright, see you in the next episode.
(04:54)
That's your Thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your piece like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment. And check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.

6 min
July 01, 2025 Which Narcissist Are You Dealing With? Unmasking the 4 Types That Wreck Your Peace
50% off Empowered Boundaries course Through July 4th!
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/?coupon=50OFFEMPOWERED

Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989

Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode):
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: [email protected]
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider

Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk
TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ever wondered why your narcissist experience feels different than someone else's? One moment they're charming. The next, they're ice, cold or worse playing the victim. In today's episode, we're breaking down the four main types of narcissists and how each one uniquely wrecks your piece. How lovely of them. So if you've been confused, stuck or second guessing your reality, girl, I've been there, but the clarity is coming. So let's go. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and drive ice and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here. To feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted.
(01:04)
Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself. Again, this podcast is for you, so steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. Welcome back to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast where we reclaim peace, power, and self-trust after narcissistic abuse. I'm your host, Christy Jaden. Today we're calling out the many faces of narcissism because not all narcissists look the same. Some are loud and in your face, some hide behind fake humility. Some are so covert you don't even realize what's happening until you've become a shell of who you used to be. So we're going to shine a light on these patterns and help you name the one you're dealing with or healing from.
(02:04)
And queen naming it is a very powerful first step to taking your peace back. So you might be wondering, does it really matter what kind of narcissist I dealt with? My answer is yes. That's why we're here. So because the way a covert narcissist manipulates you is wildly different from how an overt one does, and if you don't understand the specific tactics used on you, you may keep replaying those wounds in your mind thinking it was your fault. So understanding the type brings clarity, which brings relief. We like that you love a little relief. Yeah, language to describe your experience and empowerment, to set those specific boundaries. That's the really, really, that's the gold right here. Or in some cases going full. No contact. If you are in a space, you can do that. So let's get into it. Number one, the overt narcissist. We can call this the obvious one.
(03:09)
This is the one most people think of loud, arrogant, controlling, often very aggressive signs of that include bragging constantly like, oh yeah, and I got this house and I got this car. Or oh, even. It could even be an extension to their children. Oh, my kid does this and that, and yes, and I did that when I was young and goes on and on. Everything is about them and everything is grandiose. Then demeaning others to feel superior. They could be talking about people at their job. You could experience it. You're out with them to eat, and they're treating the wait staff like trash. They're putting other people down. The third thing is outbursts. When they are criticized, this is a big one. If you're familiar with walking on eggshells, this is probably them. They wanted control and admiration at all costs. So if they're criticized at all, even just a teensy bit, they are going to turn not happy real quick.
(04:19)
Okay, number two is the covert narcissist. This is the victim. This one is sneakier. They seem kind, soft spoken, maybe even shy sometimes, but underneath they play the victim. They use guilt to control the guilt trips. Those are just the worst, aren't they? And they will emotionally withdraw as punishment. This one is huge. So think about that. Is the covert narcissist in your life? This is one of the big signs, emotionally withdrawing. You might not have seen that it was punishment, but it is. So we're starting to connect some dots here. You may have found yourself constantly apologizing and never feeling quite good enough, even though they acted like you were the problem. Okay? So you're apologizing when you feel like maybe you didn't do anything, but they're making you out to be the problem. Okay? So the third is the communal narcissist. This is the saint.
(05:36)
They look like the good guy we talked about in a very recent episode. They can very much be the goodbye. A good guy, I can't speak today, maybe a pastor, a teacher, a charity worker. They look great. They're a saint to the outside world. They help others to be seen as a hero, though, not because they genuinely care. And if you're really close to them, you can see signs of that. But they'll say things like, I do so much for everyone and no one appreciates me. And this is a pattern, and this is a personality trait. So I just want to shout out to a lot of you moms here, we all might say that at some point, right? In our homes. So this isn't like anyone who ever says, no one appreciates me. We have our moments. This is a pattern, it's a personality trait.
(06:38)
And they do it with many people that are close to them behind closed doors, and in a manipulative way. This isn't just a raw meltdown because they've just reached the end of the rope and they're having a hard day. This is a common thing for the communal narcissist. It's manipulation, masked as virtue. Okay, look at all I do and woe is me. Okay? Number four, this is, ugh, the malignant narcissist, the dangerous one. They're all dangerous, but this is a step up. This one combines narcissism with aggression and maybe violence. So first, they actually enjoy watching others suffer.
(07:34)
Number two, on this, they can be emotionally or physically abusive. That obviously steps it up in the danger zone. And a lot of people come to me complaining about gaslighting. Ding, ding, ding. Here we are. They often gaslight and intimidate. If you felt scared or emotionally destroyed in the dynamic of the relationship you were in, please know you are not crazy. And I know you're probably starting to figure that out, but it can take a minute. You were dealing with the darkest kind of narcissist, okay? Think about that narcissist. I mean all around. Not good news. And you were dealing with the darkest kind and healing from this takes serious support and self-compassion, of course. So be good to yourself. Give yourself grace during this time. So what if you heard all those and you're not really sure? Sometimes they don't fit neatly into a little narcissist box.
(08:49)
You might see traits from multiple types, and that is totally fine. The point isn't to label them with an exact name, right? One of these four or else, no. It's to understand what was done to you, how it impacted you, and how to reclaim your voice and your power now. So if you're still asking, well, why do I feel so broken after someone who seemed nice? Chances are you were dealing with a covert or a communal narcissist, and naming it isn't just validating, it is freeing. You can now know that and research even more. And I'll be doing more episodes. And obviously if you want to work one-on-one with me, we can go deeper into the specifics of the person you were in relationship with or that you're healing from. So we know what next steps to take specifically for you. So if you want to work one-on-one with me, I always have my link in there to do that.
(09:57)
And if you are learning how to set boundaries with any of these narcissists, I have my Empowered Boundaries Course. Guys, this is 50% off because I don't know if I actually announced it on my podcast. I sent an email out, but I don't know if I announced it. So I'm going to extend it for a few more days. 50% off, which I don't think I've ever done that. If I did, it was a very long time ago. 50% off My Empowered Boundaries course. This is for any type of narcissist, how to set boundaries and not just with narcissists, with anyone, toxic with anyone, period in your life. So go check that out. It gives all the details and it's 50% off for a few more days. So get in there and grab your spot if you want that it is prerecorded, which is beautiful, you can do it at your own pace and always email me with questions.
(10:56)
My email is always in the description box of the podcast in the show notes. So I hope this was helpful. If you want to go deeper, obviously sign up for one-on-one with me for coaching and that boundaries course. If you need, just help straightening up your boundaries, but you're not alone, you're not crazy and queen, you are coming back to life. I see you. I see your sparkle from here, okay? Alright. Until next time, stay strong. Let me see, let me see those muscles. Okay, queen, look at her. All glittery and strong. It's a beautiful combo and you got it. Alright, stay smiling and I will see you on Thursday's episode. Don't forget, please, please follow me on my podcast. It actually helps me reach more people and I love that. So if you could take just 30 seconds, if you are not following my podcast, please go to wherever you're watching it.
(11:53)
Just scroll. It'll be sometimes they hide it a little. If you can just find whatever it says, follow so you can follow it. It really helps my algorithm to reach more people and it'll help and get that notification every time I post, which in this case will be Thursday because we do our thrive in five on Thursdays, which if you don't know, is some form of somatic healing that's healing from the body. Just short little exercises to do to help you get through this really tough time. Alright, I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, go ahead. Always feel free to share it with someone who could use it. I know sometimes we have friends or family members that also are going through a similar situation, so feel free to send them this and they can follow it too. Alright? The more people that can get this information, the less narcissists get away with, the more we shine the light on this, right? So let's make this a damn revelation revolution. Yeah, I'm tired guys. Alright, I will see you in the next episode. Keep that chin up and that crown high.
14 min
June 26, 2025 Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Thrive in 5 Anxiety Reset
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989

Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode):
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: [email protected]
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider

Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello Queens. Welcome to your anxiety reset. So if your thoughts are racing, your chest feels tight, or your energy is just all over the place, this is for you. And you don't need to fix everything. You just need to come home to yourself right here, right now, in this moment. So let's just take a few minutes to shift your state. So first, I invite you to place your feet flat on the ground barefoot if you can. And this can be inside your home, or if you want to pause and run outside, maybe behind your house or maybe, hey, if you want to go out into the woods and be free, go do that. But feeling the earth, the ground underneath you wiggle your toes. Now imagine roots growing from the soles of your feet down deep into the floor or earth beneath you. And you can say this out loud or silently, and you can repeat after me. I am supported. I am grounded. I am here.
(01:21)
Okay, and take a deep breath as you let your body just land. Now let's do a calming breath pattern. Today. We're going to inhale through our nose for four seconds, and we're going to hold it for two. And exhale for six. So 4, 2, 6. Inhale through your nose. 4, 3, 2, 1. Hold for one, two, exhale, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And you can repeat this three times. Each time you exhale, imagine letting go of another layer of tension. And while you do these breaths, 4, 2, 6, I will speak to you with a little affirmation. So inhale four. With every breath I return to peace. I don't need to rush, I just need to breathe.
(02:41)
All right, and we'll finish up our last inhalation and exhalation. Beautiful. Now we open the throat where stress and unspoken emotions, any of you have some of those they love to hide in the throat, right? So let's take a deep breath in, and this time, as you exhale, make a sound. Any sound, inhale could be a sigh, a hum, or a soft ah. Whatever it is, just let your body guide you. It will, you've got to feel free about this. Don't be shy. We're all here together. Let's do that again. Opening the throat, take a deep breath in and exhale, whatever. I sounded like a police siren. Whatever comes out is correct. It's right for you. All right, one more time. As you're inhaling, exhaling, I'm going to speak in affirmation to you. It's safe to let it out. My voice helps me heal. Yes. Now place your hands over your heart and your belly. Gently press in and feel your body rise and fall with your breath. And this time you can do it. If you want to inhale through your nose and out your mouth, that halo breath is my favorite. You're welcome to do that. Or if you just want to breathe at a normal pace or extra deep, whatever feels good for you, and I'm going to speak affirmations over you.
(04:45)
I am safe in this moment. I am connected to myself. Peace lives in me. I love that peace lives in me. Let yourself sit in that for just a few more seconds. Peace lives in me. Yeah. How do you feel You did that? Five minutes. One nervous system shift and a powerful reminder. Your body knows the way home. It can find its way home if you give it a little space. If you want more tools like this, don't forget to tune in and follow my podcast. So go poke around. Sometimes they make it hard to find, but it's really important to help you be able to get the notifications every podcast that comes out. But also, do you know, it helps our podcasts, us podcasters, it us actually reach more people. When you hit follow, it helps the algorithm so that I am able to help more amazing queens like you.
(06:08)
So if you wouldn't mind for yourself and for me, little Christie, Jade over here, if you could just find that follow button, I would so appreciate it. I'll give you the biggest, biggest air hug ever. And who doesn't want a little nervous system reset and a hug. Right. Alright. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. And I'm so proud of you for taking just these few minutes every Thursday. This is the Thrive in Five. Save these episodes. You can always go back to your favorites to just get a little reset. We all could use it.
8 min
June 24, 2025 He Was Nice… So Why Do I Feel So Broken? The Truth About ‘Good Guy’ Narcissists
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989

Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode):
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: [email protected]
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider

Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk

TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello Queens. Do you ever look back and think, well, he didn't cheat, or he didn't hit me, or he didn't X, Y, Z. Fill in the blank. So why do I feel like I'm still healing from a damn war? Let's talk about the nicer narcissists, the ones who smiled while they crushed your self-worth. Yeah, we're going to go there today. Stay tuned. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted.
(01:00)
Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. All right, so let's talk about this nice guy or nice girl narcissist. They exist, right? And I have had my own experience with one of them and to the outside world, they are awesome. When you first meet them. They can be very awesome and charismatic and almost overly attentive in a way to you, but they end up as you get closer, and it can happen pretty quickly. As you get closer and more familiar with them and they get you under their thumb or in their spider web, whatever you want to call it, it can really shift and it can be a slow shift, or sometimes it can be a quick shift depending on how much control they feel they have, at what level they have control of you and feel like you're starting to be somewhat dependent.
(02:23)
This can be romantic relationship, obviously, but there's also friendships that can be like this, or even boss situation ships, which is, I did have a situation like that where I thought I had the best boss ever until it quickly turned, and so that's a story for another time. But I feel you. I know what it feels like and you're like, they were a good guy, right? Maybe they never even yelled. They didn't lay a hand on you. Maybe they brought you flowers, polite to your friends, said they wanted to whine and dine you. So why do you feel so confused, manipulated, lost, whatever you want to call it. The truth is, just because someone looks and acts kind doesn't always mean they are safe, emotional abuse, isn not about the volume, it's about the control. There's subtle erosion. I'm going to repeat that. It's about control, and there is subtle erosion.
(03:29)
Like I said, it can be quick, but usually it's a more subtle erosion unless they really rope you in fast. So that's exactly what the nice narcissists do best. So if you're wondering whether what you went through was bad enough to call abuse, let me tell you this with love, if you feel broken, if you feel like you lost yourself, if you're second guessing, your worth, your memory, right? Are you wondering, did that happen that way? Maybe I'm remembering it wrong. Your reality. That is enough. These covert narcissists, the good guys, they don't throw plates. They throw confusion. Okay? Look, they don't often yell. They withhold, they gaslight, they guilt trip. They charm the room. Like I said, they can be very charismatic and they make you feel like the crazy one. When you get upset, show any emotion, right? So let's break it down. Here are some signs that you were dealing with a nice guy, narcissist, or maybe you're currently in this situation. First of all, they rarely show anger, but you're always the one apologizing, right? So there is that shift of they might not show outward anger, but you always end up apologizing and kind of tiptoeing walking on eggshells.
(05:11)
Two, they weaponized guilt, but I was just trying to help you, right? They're weaponizing guilt, and that's similar to three where they play the victim, I do everything for you and you're still not happy. Does that sound familiar? Number four, they're liked by everyone else. So you question your reactions constantly, right? Maybe these covert and over narcissists can often be a popular in communities. They can be leaders, they can be very good people, persons. How do you say that? People, A people person. But they're different with you. And it can be, like I said, that slow, slow erosion, the subtle erosion. So you kind of question yourself like, well wait, everyone else seems to love them, right? But that's very common, even with non narcissists. With abusers in general, they can be, they're not always, they can be abusive and jerks to everybody, but there are many that in the public eye, they're smiling, they're charismatic, they're overly accommodating or kind of love bombing, right?
(06:41)
We're just giving compliments or, oh, you're so awesome and valuing people on the outside, but they don't. They go home and probably talk shit about those people and the people they're closest with, whoever is their victim or victims on their inner circle will get the treatment that narcissists give. So number five goes to they never said outright. Maybe they didn't call you names. Maybe they didn't say you're worthless, but you felt worthless in the relationship. So it makes it hard when you're like, well, they never said that. They didn't abuse me with the words, but somehow they made you feel worthless, and that is not on you, and you've got manipulated now to feel like it is maybe in your head or you question yourself, or you go back to that whole, am I remembering right? You are honey. You're remembering just perfectly your truth.
(07:46)
Okay? So let's be clear here. Emotional safety, feeling safe in your emotions, in your body is not about how someone acts in public. It's about how you feel in their presence behind closed doors, and that's important. I definitely have had clients where it's very confusing to them where they feel like I must be the crazy one. No, they're acting different to you, but it's in a subtle way. It's not blatant. So you're questioning it. Don't question it. So you're not dramatic, you're not broken. You are conditioned to doubt yourself. Conditioning is a very important word in the narcissistic world. I say it a lot throughout, especially my recent podcasts, I've noticed because that word is a good one. If you're not familiar with get familiar with it, maybe you weren't outright physically harmed. Maybe they did not, like I said, scream at you, curse at you, but they manipulated and calculated and conditioned you to doubt yourself slowly and subtly, and that's why it's so hard to name A lot of the times it was slow. It is slow and subtle so much that you don't even catch it. So this healing journey from this specific type of narcissist is especially tricky, right? It's no easier because your brain was trained conditioned to justify their behavior. I want to say that again because this is a through line. With anyone going through narcissistic abuse in general, your brain was trained to justify their behavior.
(09:53)
Also, your heart still misses the version of them they gave you maybe in the beginning, maybe the version of them that lives in the public eye that you wanted it them to be. That's a version. Guess what? It's a fake version. It's not reality. I know that sucks. You can't do X, Y, Z to make them be that way. That is not them. The true them that their inner circle, their victims will see is the version you got, and your body holds the trauma even when your mind keeps saying, but they were so nice or they did do this to me, right? I mean, let's point that out. There are highs and lows with these people. There's the more subtle lows than with the other types of narcissists that are more outward. But your body is remembering those parts, and your mind is trying to fight with your body.
(11:08)
Like, oh, wait, oh wait, because you've been conditioned, right? So what do I love to do? Come on in class. Anyone? Anyone? Yes, you in the back? Yes. Listen to the body. The body speaks very loudly. If you let it and you listen, I'm going to say it again. The body speaks very, very loud and clear. When you actually let it and you listen, not when you have your mind, shut it down. Not when you feel your life with so much busyness and chaos that you're continuing, you're used to chaos and you continue the cycle. Even if you're away from the narcissist, you may still have a chaotic life because you're so used to it and you don't know what to do When you actually sit still and let your body, let your soul, let the silence let you speak. Sometimes it's scary to do that because there's trauma in there and it's not fun.
(12:19)
But let me correct that. Okay, I'm Christie. Hello. I do somatic healing. Do you know this about me? And we actually, it can be a little intense, right? I'm not going to lie, but we can have fun too. I try to make this a fun empowering journey for you guys. So if you want to sign up for somatic healing, which is healing the body because it remembers and you want actual long term help where you are rewriting things and your body is actually releasing all of this, sign up. I have a link always in my description box of my podcast to sign up for somatic healing session. So it can be an enjoyable, empowering journey. It doesn't have to be dark and scary, okay? I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't let that happen. I keep you safe, and I do titration, which if you don't know what that is, you might if you're in the science world, but that is really going very slowly back and forth to make sure you are totally comfortable in every single session, every step of the way you will be taken care of.
(13:39)
We're not going to retraumatize you. We're not going to let you go in a deep, dark hole. That is not the point. We are going to slowly heal the shit out of you. How's that sound? All right, I sidetracked there a second. So let's get back to it and wind things down. Here's what I want you to do. Step one, well sign up. Sign up for somatic healing with me. That will, I mean, I may be biased, but that will definitely help. But step one, besides that, validate yourself. Start saying it out loud. That was emotional abuse. Saying it out loud has helped me in my journey. And writing things down too, like putting pen to paper, saying it out loud to the world. That was abuse, that was emotional abuse. That clarity can be very, very powerful if you have not done that yet.
(14:36)
Step two, you can track the patterns. Notice what you excused, what you believed, what you ignored, not shaming yourself. Look, we're not going to judge past us. No, no, no, ma'am. We want you to be aware to what? To just help yourself in the future. I don't want you to beat yourself up. I hear this so much with clients. I wish I would've seen this. I wish I would've done that. Well, guess what, Susie? We got to move forward. We're not going to live in the past, okay? We have this one life. I'm not going to let you focus on what you could have, should have, would've. We can all do that all day long. That's no fun either. Okay? So eat some chocolate cookies. Notice what you excused, what you believed, what you ignored, and decide what you don't want to do in the future, in your future relationships, whether it be romantic or friendships, right?
(15:34)
What you're going to tolerate, what you're not going to tolerate, and do not be judgmental to the past, previous you. Be an encourager of yourself just like you would a friend, right? Step three, rebuild yourself. Trust. Ooh, that's a stinger. Self-trust is such a big word for narcissistic abuse survivors. It is hard to trust yourself after you've gone through something. You're like, how the hell when you're on the other side? And it depends where you are in your journey, but if you're on the other side, sometimes you get to a certain point. You're like, now, if I let that happen, all that happen, and now I have these kids and this, and there's a divorce, and there's that all this nonsense, you're so upset with yourself, it's hard to trust yourself again. So you have to start with small decisions. Say no when you may know.
(16:34)
Say yes to your needs, because building time for you can actually build self trust because you are getting acquainted with yourself again, right? We're reclaiming you. So start small. Just start small with small decisions. Even just what do I want? Do I want that chocolate chip cookie? Hell yeah, I do. And eat the chocolate chip cookie and say, I really like chocolate chip cookies, right? Maybe your ex didn't let you eat cookies. Christie's here to say, eat the damn cookie. Okay? And step four, back to Somatic Christie over here. Get support, right? This could be a therapist. This could be me. I love helping women like you, obviously. That's why I'm here. I love doing this podcast. I love being able to create space for people who feel so confused and lost and give them some sort of clarity and guidance. I love it. But when I get to work one-on-one with you guys and impact you and watch, oh, it's the most amazing feeling to watch my clients go from just, how do you describe it?
(17:54)
This just lost, stuck, this stuckness, this loss, confusion, judgment on themselves. All the feelings you're going through, and to be able to be with you on the journey. And we get to heal. I get to help you heal and you heal yourself. How empowering that is that you get to do that. And when you're on the other side, I mean my clients, when they are on the other side, the holy shit moments and the amount of people who have said, I can't believe I am where I am now. I never would've thought that happened. And usually that's also saying, I can't believe that happened so quickly. People think, oh God, this is going to take a lifetime to undo the damage. No, it's not. Ma'am. We move quickly. My best friend doesn't call me Bunny for no reason. Okay? Again, I titrate to make sure you're comfortable.
(18:59)
But it's one of those things where when you go slowly and you do it the right way, you zoom out. It's actually a lot quicker than you would think. Hard to explain until you do it. So sign up for a session. Alright? So take two minutes today and ask where did I lose myself to keep the peace? Where did I lose myself to keep the peace? We might be surprised what comes up. So if this hit home for you, please, first of all, sign up for a session with me and send this to a friend who might be quietly struggling or loudly struggling. If you know anyone else that could use help with this type of relationship, situationship, whatever, please forward this to them. And of course, I always have My Empowered Boundaries course. I will link that as well. That's at your own pace.
(19:56)
You purchase the course and each week a new video drops, and that's 10 weeks, 10 videos, and you have a lifetime access to it if you really have a tough time with setting boundaries. But today, I feel like we're really also focusing on that healing from the body. So sign up for the one-on-one session. You're not alone, you're not crazy. I am here and I would love to help you. Just because he didn't scream or curse or hit you, doesn't mean you didn't suffer. And just because you're not bleeding on the outside doesn't mean it was not abuse. You are powerful. You are worthy when you say that I am worthy. Yeah, you're reclaiming your peace. One truth, that's your truth, right? Not their truth. Your truth. One truth at a time. Alright, until next episode we have every Thursday we have the Thrive in five, where I do some type of somatic healing, breath work, meditation, visualization, all the fun, every Thursday, little shorter episodes to keep you grounded. So make sure you follow my podcast so you get the notifications of the new episodes that pop up. I'm Tuesdays and Thursdays and stay royal because he's the Queen. Alright, see the next one.
22 min
June 19, 2025 Lost Yourself in the Narcissist’s Chaos? Reconnect in Just 5 Minutes
Feel like you’ve lost yourself in the chaos of narcissistic abuse?
In this 5-minute reconnection ritual, you’ll ground your body, clear your mind, and start remembering you.
You’re not broken—you’re buried. Let’s bring you back.

Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989

Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode):
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: [email protected]
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider

Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk

TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello Queen. If you've been walking around feeling like a stranger in your own life, this one is for you. So after narcissistic abuse, it is normal to feel lost. That is a very common thing because you have been surviving, you've shape shifted, you've been silencing your own needs, but underneath it, you are still there. That's the good news. You're there and you got a shiny gold crown. So today we're going to reconnect back to her fast, fierce, and focus. That's why it is thrive in five. Okay? Ain't, ain't nobody got time for all that noisy narcissist.
(00:45)
Welcome to your Thursday. Thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. Alright, so let's kind of shake the day off. Shake any emotions you have around this relationship, shake it off. That can be through your arm shaking. Maybe you shake your legs out, shake your feet. Alright? And if you feel safe, you can close your eyes or just have a steady gaze focusing on one spot in the room. Maybe feel your feet on the floor or if you're sitting, laying down wherever your body is, meeting the support. Now breathe in through your nose. Slow and deep exhale out of your mouth. This is a halo breath. It's my favorite one to just calm the nervous system. So we're inhaling. And you can imagine light, a beautiful, warm white light entering your body through your nose. And as you exhale, release the fog, the confusion, that noise of the narcissist and any relationship you have with them. Okay, in with the light, releasing the noise one more time in with the light. Hold it at the top and release. Really exhale, getting rid of every last drip drop of that nasty noise. Okay, so I invite you to place your hand on your heart and repeat after me. I am still here.
(02:50)
I may have been silenced, but I was never erased. Go. Good. Every breath brings me closer to my truth. Beautiful. So we're going to do a quick visualization. Imagine yourself as a glowing outline, whatever color you wish, a glowing outline, dimmed but intact, fully intact, dimmed with each breath. And you can do again, the halo breath in through the nose, out the mouth, or whatever you're comfortable doing with each breath. Light fills in your outline, making it brighter, making it stronger, making it whole. That's your soul. It's not gone. It's just waiting. And she's ready. So imagine breathing in and exhaling. And each breath, just imagine this beautiful light filling every part of inside of your glowing outline.
(04:19)
Go at your own pace. This is your light. This is your journey. This is you 2.0, baby, you ready? In and out. Wonderful. Now you don't have to find yourself. You are remembering yourself. And maybe you don't remember if you had childhood abuse where maybe you were dimmed at a young age and you don't even remember you were still there, which is very young. You are returning to yourself and every time you pause, you breathe and reconnect like we're doing today. You reclaim a piece of that power, of your power. You're not lost. You're coming home. Now, let's say that again. I'm coming home. Repeat after me. I'm coming home. How does that feel in your body? I am coming home. You get to be your own home. That is the most empowering thing in the world. When I started my journey, I remember I started to refer to my home like myself as my home. And it's so empowering. This is your home. This is your safety. And even if you don't quite feel there yet, keep doing these visualizations. Keep doing the work. Save some of these thrive in fives to come back to, because the more you do these, you are getting back to that part of you, right? That power. You're not lost, you are coming home.
(06:28)
I hope this short visualization, meditation, whatever you want to call it, helped give you a little reset. And this should be a reminder to you that you are doing the work, you are taking the time out because you're still in there and you know can get back. You can to her. She's waiting for you. So I'm very proud of you and you should be proud of yourself. So let's all give ourselves an extra little hug. I'm hugging myself too. I did it. Look at me. Okay? I'm so proud of you. And don't forget to save these thrive in fives. They are wonderful to go back to whenever you feel like it could be. First thing in the morning while you're brushing your teeth, you don't have to be laid out on a bed.
(07:29)
Anything is better than nothing when it comes to doing the mindset work, the body work, any of this. Okay? I am so excited you're doing this for yourself, and I'll see you in the next episode. That's your Thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your peace like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment. And check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.
9 min
June 17, 2025 Feel Like You’ve Lost Yourself? How Narcissistic Abuse Steals Your Identity And How to Reclaim It
Feel like you’ve lost yourself after narcissistic abuse? You’re not alone — and you’re not broken. In this episode, we’ll unpack how the narcissist slowly erased your identity and walk through simple, empowering ways to start reclaiming your voice, your choices, and you. 💛👑

Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989

Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode):
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: [email protected]
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider

Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk

TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Queen , you look in the mirror and wonder where you went. You hear your voice, barely recognize it. You've got fears, you've got doubts after Narcissistic abuse. Feeling like you have lost yourself is common, but it's not a weakness. It is a symptom of survival. But you are not gone. You are not broken. You're just buried beneath all the schleppy nippy. That's a word I did make up just now. But all the ways you had to stay small to stay what safe. So today we're going to start calling you that U2 0.0 back. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free.
(01:10)
I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. All right, beauties. It's Christine. Today we're talking about something so many survivors carry quietly that aching feeling of being lost like you are floating through your own life, disconnected from who you used to be. Maybe some of you never even got to become fully that person or who you were supposed to become, but it's not too late. But I do hear this all the time. I hear I want to feel like myself again.
(02:13)
I don't even know what I like anymore. I used to be joyful. So fun, that sparkle that we talk about. Where did it go? If you've ever thought those things, this episode is for you. So let's start off with how narcissistic abuse steals your identity. Okay? It isn't just emotional manipulation, this abuse, it is psychological erasure. Bit by bit. The narcissist dismissed your opinions, controlled your choices. They're always trying to gain control or see if they can get it back. So they're controlling your choices, criticizing. When you do have a moment that you may have an interest or something outside of what they're telling you to do, they will criticize it. So criticizing your interests, mocking your emotions. Oh, you're so dramatic. You're so sensitive and making you doubt your intuition, that gut feeling. They twist and turn things and manipulate so you doubt your truth until suddenly you stopped choosing.
(03:33)
You stopped expressing. You started shrinking just to avoid the conflict, the rejection or the ever present rage of a narcissist. And over time, your nervous system learned this. Maybe it's safer to disappear. Seacrest out. I'm picturing that meme of, what is it? Homer, going back into the bushes, like reversing into the bushes. That little not meme, the gif, right? Maybe it's safer to just disappear back here, but disappearing is not what you are supposed to be or do, right? You're a queen after all. Okay? So that little light inside you, that sparkle, it's there and we're going to brighten it up. It just got dimmed, but we're here to reignite that. Let's throw some gas on that sparkle. Okay? So how do we do that, Christy? We're going to talk about three ways to start reclaiming you. So no pressure, first of all, and no perfection. But these are some things you can start doing little by little. So first, rebuild micro preferences. You're going to start small, ridiculously small. That's what you can handle right now. You have to build up. That's okay. Things like what's your favorite color? Now, it could be that simple. I literally have had more than one client when I've asked, what's your favorite color? They're like, I don't know. And then it can feel really disconnected, right? What music do you actually love?
(05:23)
Do you like your egg scrambled or poached? What's your favorite movie? What do you want your room to look like? And you might feel overwhelmed. So start with the color. What color do you want your room? What colors do you want in your room? Just get a throw pillow to start, right? You're gradually building your micro preferences up. You'd be amazed how much of your identity lives in the details you stopped choosing. So ask yourself, is this what I want? Not what they wanted, what you want, what do you want? Okay, number two, talk to the before you. And this is for those of you who had aversion before this, right? If you had some childhood stuff where you had been dismissed and put down, this may not apply directly to you, but you can see, but this is especially for the people who got into relationships later in life and lost themselves. So think back to the version of who you were before. The abuse. What did she love? What made her light up? Even as a kid? Now ask, what did she need that she did not get?
(06:50)
And here's where you can have fun work. Write her a letter, reintroduce yourself. Let her know you are coming back for her. And this time you're listening, you want to hear her and her preferences. Okay? So that's kind of a fun one, right? We get to do a tangible thing, write a letter. What did she need that she didn't get? What made her light up? Put it all out there. There's no right or wrong. There's no limit. You could do one page, you could do 40 pages. Number three, create yes and no lists. So if you're familiar with my work, that's how we always start with my one-on-one clients. And even in some of my groups, we do the hell yes, hell no. So you can start this. We go into it in a major way. That's amazing. But you can start small, okay? You have two lists on one piece of paper.
(07:57)
You could start if you want to start small, right? Hell yes. On the top of one side, hell no on the top of the other. The yeses are the things that light you up. The nos are the things that drain you or disrespect you. This becomes your compass. It's how you begin to choose on purpose. Say that I want to choose on purpose. Say it. I want to choose on purpose. And each choice brings your power back, even if it's a small one, right? So think of something right now. Think of something that you just love. Let's say your ex didn't like you to eat a certain flavor of ice cream. He always just wanted his and didn't let you get yours, and you'd love mint chocolate chip ice cream.
(08:53)
Write that on your list and want you to get you some this week, right? That's a simple, maybe silly thing, but it is a real thing. I listen to you guys, I hear all the stories. I know there are people who controlled you to the point that you couldn't even choose your own toothpaste, right? So go get that bubble gum flavor, toothpaste, and then the hell no things that drain you. I've got one. I've got one for you guys. I know some of you can probably relate. I have definitely had clients who can relate because of how we've been conditioned. We often feel like we need to be there for everybody and always be available, stuff like that. So one of my big ones that's on my hell no list is long phone conversations or answering the phone every time it rings. Stuff like that.
(09:48)
You might be able to relate to that. That's draining. Especially if it's someone who's complaining or having a lot going on in their life. No offense to them, but you got your own shit. You got your own life. So you can either not answer or you can get on the phone and say, I have five minutes to talk. I got to be somewhere or do something. That's okay. That's build these lists. So you're knock on, you're right here. And these are some things that can help. There's plenty more. And if you work one-on-one with me, obviously we can customize your strategy there. So if you're feeling lost, if you're mourning the version of you that used to laugh more, sing louder, feel freer, please hear me. You did not lose her. She got quiet. She hid to essentially survive in one way or the other, but she's still here.
(10:43)
And every single choice you make to show up for yourself could be small, could be big. You could say no when it's a no, say yes, when your soul lights up. Every time you do that, it's proof that you are coming home to you, to her. So you don't need to rush your healing. You don't need to have all the answers right now, but I promise if you stay on this path of truth true to you and self-love, you will find her again. She is not gone. And when you do, girl, she going to be so shiny and gold and sparkly. I am so proud of you. I'm walking this journey with you. Until next time, keep reclaiming that crown.
12 min
June 12, 2025 Obsessing Over the Narcissist? Here’s a 5-Minute Mind Reset to Stop The Mind Racing
SAVE THIS EP! Still stuck in your head about the narcissist? In this 5-minute Thrive in 5, I’ll walk you through a quick but powerful nervous system reset to stop the obsessive thoughts and bring you back to peace—fast.
You’ll get:
✅ A calming breathwork drop-in
✅ 3 truth statements to interrupt the spiral
✅ A soothing visualization to reclaim your clarity
Because you deserve peace—not mental chaos. 👑
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989

Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions :
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course : https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: [email protected]
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider

Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk

TRANSCRIPT
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Still obsessing over what the narcissist said, did or maybe didn't do. Feel like your brain won't shut up and your peace is always just out of reach. Queen, you are not crazy and you're definitely not alone in today's thriving five. We're doing a quick nervous system reset to stop that mental spiraling and get you back to your calm ground itself, even if you've not met her. Alright, let's take your power back starting now. Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath, queen, this one's for you.
(00:51)
All right, beauty. If you have been stuck in a loop, replaying conversations, wondering why, feeling like you cannot let go, this is for you. Obsessive thoughts are actually a trauma response, not some personality flaw. So the brain clings to the pain because it's trying to solve it. But today, we're not solving everything we are soothing in this quick episode. So first, let's just drop in together. Place your hand over your heart and one on your belly if that feels good to you. Now you can either close your eyes or just soften your gaze and let's breathe together in through the nose. Inhale for four, holds for two, exhale for 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Again, inhale for four, hold for two, and exhale for 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Letting those shoulders drop, let your jaw soften your eyebrows, release any stress, and quietly say to yourself, repeat after me. I am safe in this moment, I'm allowed to stop thinking about them.
(02:43)
Peace is mine and I'm reclaiming it now. Beautiful. So let's speak some truth to that lovely old heart of yours. Loud and clear. Okay, thinking about it over and over won't change what happened, right? It's not going to change anything, and this is something that has definitely helped me just stopping and saying, you know what? Thinking about it isn't fixing it. You've already survived it. Now we have chosen freedom, which feels a heck of a lot better. Even if we get these obsessive thoughts, sometimes they will get less and less and we can speed that up, that process up by doing exercises like this. Number two, they are not worth my energy today, right? They're not. Energy is your currency. We have a short time here on Earth, so we're going to spend it on you, not them. You deserve that. Whether you totally feel that or not.
(03:59)
You do. I'm telling you, and I'm the smartest queen ever. Just kidding. Just kidding. Okay. Number three, we don't need closure from them, right? You can say, I am the closure. It's in you. We talked about this recently. I am the closure, their apology, whatever you might expect. We did a couple of episodes on apologies recently, right? Their apology is not going to heal you, but your own voice will. So let those settle in, right? Thinking about it is not going to change it. They are not worth your energy and you don't need closure from them. You are the closure. Alright, so we're going to do a quick visualization here. So again, you can have your eyes open close, but for me, I love closing them, but it's all up to you. Imagine yourself standing on a rocky shoreline and the waves are crashing, loud, chaotic, just like those obsessive thoughts that go through your mind.
(05:17)
But now picture yourself turning around and behind you is a forest trail. It's quiet, it's peaceful. Sun is filtering through the trees. You take a step away, away from the chaos, then another step and another. So with each step that crashing gets softer and softer. Now, it's far behind you in the getting more and more quiet. You're stepping. You're stepping again. Now it's silent and you feel that warm glow of the sun on your skin, on your face. Breathe it in smile. Feel that. Feel that difference in what you chose to do to walk away from the chaos. This is your nervous system at peace. This is what you get to return to any time you choose or want to. Anytime you did that in just a few minutes, you took your power back from the obsessive loop. That's not small. No small potatoes here. That's a huge potato.
(07:06)
If this resonated, first of all, save it. Okay? Save this visualization if it worked and helped you just feel calmer for a few moments and you can sit in this meditation as long as you want. You can pause it as you listen to it and stay there and enjoy the quiet and the peace. And also, if this worked, maybe it will help someone who needs that reminder too, who needs to be able to reset their nervous system because you're not alone and you don't have to spiral in silence again. You got me and you've got your friends trusted ones, right? So you're not alone in this.
(08:05)
All right? I will see you in the next episode. That's your Thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your piece like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment, and check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.
9 min
June 10, 2025 You Blocked the Narcissist... Now They’re Losing It (Let’s Talk About Why)
Blocked the narcissist and now they’re spiraling? Good. That’s not drama — that’s proof you took your power back. In this episode, we break down why they react that way, how to protect your peace, and why holding the line is your biggest win yet. 👑🔥
Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989

Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode):
https://christyjade.com/somatichealing
✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level?
Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/
💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: [email protected]
Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation
https://christyjade.ck.page/insider

Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon
https://amzn.to/46dDSYk

TRANSCRIPT
All right, you finally blocked the narcissists. No more texts, no more dms, no more access to your beautiful energy. And now what? Though? They are spiraling. Suddenly you're the villain. They may be stalking your socials, blowing up mutual friends or family members, and maybe even running a full-blown smear campaign, which I have been on the other end of. And it's not fun, but it is very common with narcissists, right? So if you don't know what a smear campaign is, it is basically imagine them just badmouthing you to anyone and everyone. They can really for a reaction from you. But two birds with one stone, they get to also make you look bad to other people. But what I want you to remember today, this chaos, the rage, it means you took your power back and that is the win. So let's break it all down in this episode.
(01:02)
Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up.
(02:00)
Hey, queen, it's Christie. And today we're talking about what happens when you do the bold, brave thing and you actually block the narcissist. You hit the button, you silence the chaos. You close that portal to all of their icky manipulative games, right? That's such freedom. But now they're losing it, right? Often they will come back stronger and harder, and this can be a scary part of the process. I've been through it. It happened, usually does. So it's very expected. We'll talk about why, but it's also a big old, beautiful neon sign saying You did the right thing. Why do these narcissists spiral after you block them? This is, I don't know. This helps me just sit with all of it and be super clear. And I don't know. When I learned about all of this, it did help me feel better in this situation. Number one, I've talked about this.
(02:59)
The narcissist doesn't want you. What do they want? Class control over you. It's all about the control. It's about the access, the option to push your buttons, rile you up. They like that. I know. Not cool, but at this point, you probably know that they want the supply. That's my favorite word, having to do with narcissists, because that's all they want. The supply with the control, your reactions, your emotions, your attention, that feeds them. So when you block them, you are taking their drug away. You're cutting off the hit. And for a narcissist that is panic mode, which can look like different things. So there can be sudden rage, right? There could be rage, just, oh my gosh. Let's say you blocked 'em on the phone. Then they, but not the social media. They might come over in your social media, they might show up at your house.
(03:59)
They might get through a friend, get some message to you, and they may be ragey or love bombing attempts. They might call, and I've had this experience too, from new phone numbers or new emails. I had a narcissist create a whole new profile just to contact me. It also might look like those smear campaigns. This is very, very, very common because this is an easy access way. Sometimes narcissists can be lazy. So instead of having to go to the efforts of creating new this or that, they're like, well, we have mutual friends. We have mutual family. I'm already talking to, I'm going to, basically, they will make up stuff about you. Twist things into totally different situations, badmouth you, make your mutual friends and family turn against you. There's also the lurking. I have a public profile. Let's say TikTok. I can see right people.
(05:09)
I can see who is viewing my stories or my reels. So you might be in a situation like that where they are lurking. They might drive by your place, get those cameras in order. Another thing is guilt tripping or using flying monkeys, their they're little puppets to check in for them. So again, there's a lot of different ways that they will try to get closer to you. So this isn't proof. You hurt them. It's proof you are healing you. So let's flip the script. You might think, wow, they really must care if they're reacting this much. No, no. They care that they've lost their freaking grip. Their ego is bruised. This whole illusion of control is shattered. They cannot stand it, but that isn't love. So I want you to be very, very clear. Some of you already know this and you just want them out.
(06:15)
Some of you are going, are they trying so hard? Because I'm so special and there's a special bond between us and they love me so much. This is a character trait of love and passion. No, this is entitlement. This is their bruised ego being very upset. Don't confuse their chaos with care for you. This reaction is not a sign of your worth. I'm sorry. You're beautiful, you're awesome, you're worthy, but this is not a sign of your worth. It's a sign of your growth, right? You are growing away from them and they can't stand it again, not because of you, but because of their need for control and that supply that you were giving them at some point, and now you're not. And they're very upset about it. So how do you protect your peace and stay in that zone? How do you get basically unshakeable? So the number one advice I always love to give, as you know, is no responding. Not even once they wait. They wait for that crack in the door, even a leave me alone. Text is supply for them. Silence is your best weapon. It is your best weapon against the chaos.
(07:41)
And you can have a beautiful visualization of this picture, a lot of chaos, and then silence next to each other. Doesn't it make sense that the best weapon against that would just be silence and calm? So no responding, not even a little, not a thumbs up, not an okay, nothing. Don't even say leave me alone. Number two, tighten up all those digital and energetic boundaries. So make sure your mutual friends are not passing any information along. And this again, has happened to me in my own family. You have to ask people, please do not give information about me. Cut it off. You are the one with that control. And if you can't trust that person, then you don't tell them information. You don't want to be shared. And if they cross your boundaries, that middle person, I mean, sorry. Bye. I am quick to get rid of someone who does not respect my boundaries.
(08:43)
So remove them if you have to from your socials, block them and keep the narcissist obviously blocked everywhere. That's phone, that's email, that's all your socials. And reaffirm why you block them in the first place. Revisit the journal. Maybe you journaled about it, right? Or maybe you need to make a journal entry about it that you can go back to when you're feeling bad or guilty about blocking them. Write down how they made you feel. I'm not talking just saying I felt sad or I felt scared. I want you to write the visceral reactions. Your body, this feeling. I felt tight in my chest. I felt terrified to the point I was shaking. I felt like I could barely talk. My tight and my neck was so tight. Let that be your fuel as a reminder of just how impactful this is on not just your mind but your body and support yourself like crazy.
(09:46)
Be your own B, f, F. Listen to the podcasts, meditate. Do that. Nervous system work. I'm all about somatic healing. I will pop my link in the description. If you would like to sign up for a session. I'm telling you, it is epic. You want to talk about resetting your nervous system from the body, not just talk. Therapy is amazing. I'm a big advocate. Obviously I do coaching myself and mindset work, but when you go from the body girl, it's a whole different thing. And lean on safe people who get it, not the mutual friends that still talk to this person. Okay, I'm sorry, that ain't it. You need to lean on safe people that are going to uplift you, validate your feelings, and give you hugs and pink sprinkle donuts. Okay, speaking of which, can I just tell you how amazing the people in my life that I have now are compared to when I wasn't choosing so well?
(10:49)
I have these new friends in my life, and I'm bringing this up because this is a part of narcissistic abuse. You can attract controlling people or people who don't want you to shine. And since I'm later in my healing journey, and I have found some amazing friends, my dad passed last week, that was so hard. The amount of people that I've recently met, really quality, uplifting, amazing people, how they've shown up, I said pink sprinkled donuts, because one of my best friends brought me my favorite Krispy Kreme donuts, right? My friend showed up yesterday with flowers and a wind chime that had something related about death on it. And she also brought me a donut tea towel for the kitchen and just was like, let's chat. These are people that I have chosen very intentionally later in my life after realizing I wasn't choosing people, they were choosing me. And with narcissistic abuse recovery, you want to make sure you're choosing and you're choosing well, people that are really good, solid, uplifting, positive influences in your life. So little side note, just a side note. Someone needed to hear that, right? Alright, so let's get to this pep talk. I love a good pep talk and maybe we'll do an extra pep talk on Thursday related to this. Maybe a longer one, but I want to just leave you with this. You're not the villain. You are the queen warrior.
(12:27)
You're not wrong for blocking them. You're not mean. You're not dramatic or sensitive. Repeat that one, please. I am not dramatic or sensitive. That's right. You're not. You are freeing yourself from manipulation and you are choosing peace over that chaos. You're not the villain in their twisted story. Their truth isn't even their truth. Their story isn't even true, the truth. And essentially, you are the hero in your healing journey. And that might sound like cheesy, but really you're saving yourself right now. Do you get that? Do you get how big that is? You are saving yourself. And if you have kids, your kids, you are breaking this cycle. So you are a hero in your own healing journey. And guess what? Every time you don't respond or you block or you get that, just no more, you've reclaimed another piece of your power. Every time you stay, no contact and don't let that door creak open.
(13:46)
Your nervous system gets safer and calmer every time you choose, you win. Say that again. Every time I like how I'm talking myself, I'm like, say it again, Christie. Every time you choose you, you win. So their spiral is not your responsibility, their pain, their panic, their stories, not yours to hold anymore. Block, bless, keep healing forward. I am so proud of you. You are fierce, you are brave, and this is unshakeable. You hold onto this and you stay in your truth, not their fake shit out there. Okay? So until next time, Thursday, we have our Thrive in five. Stay in your power. Make sure to follow my podcast so you get the little notifications that are like Chris, do at it again, every Tuesday and Thursday. Tuesdays are my longer episodes. And then we have our Thrive in five, which are basically somatic healing. That could be breath work, that could be meditations, visualizations, affirmations. I did a prayer last week about my father that I hoped could also help anyone else grieving just for a hard situation. Okay? So just some examples. So definitely follow the podcast. I'd love you to join my Facebook community, and I will talk to you in the next episode.
16 min

About NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship

From the publisher's feed

Healing Tools for Women

Are you feeling lost after breaking free from a toxic relationship? Are you afraid you will get sucked back in, whether it is with the same narcissist or a new one? Are you ready to finally live in peace?

In this podcast, you will find healing methods and coping solutions to set you free from narcissistic abuse and its effects. My mission is to equip you to become strong and free through confidence building, proven healing methods and finding peace. If you’re ready to say yes to thriving after abuse and stop chasing everything that hasn’t worked for a plan that will- you’re in the right place!

Hey, I’m Christy. A mom, wife and a ruthless narcissist avoider! For years of my life, I went to therapists that didn’t understand narcissism, read generic abuse recovery books and tried things that didn’t help me truly disconnect and break the cycle of narcissistic abuse. I wasted money on tools that didn’t give me lasting results. I finally realized that if I was going to truly disconnect and heal, I had to understand narcissists’ minds and the effects on their victims. After years of education and endless conversations with victims of narcissistic abuse, I created a perfect plan to not just disconnect fully from the current narcissists in my life, but to avoid getting sucked in by future ones, while creating healthy boundaries and healing from the effects of abuse. A life of thriving, not just surviving. And I am ready to share it all with you!

If you are a woman ready to finally find a clear cut plan to stop the cycle and heal from narcissistic abuse -effective solutions that have results that are undeniable: like a peaceful night’s sleep, decreased overwhelm, and unshakable confidence, then this podcast is for you!
Grab that mocha latte, it’s time to dive in.

Wanna work together 1:1, queen? Grab your first power call for mindset and somatic healing now:
https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/

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Best of NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship

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