Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast | Hidden Manipulation | Systemic Gaslighting | Cultural Conditioning

Self-Blame and Shame: Two Courageous Introspective Matters of the Heart in the Healing Process after Narcissistic Abuse

You've left the relationship, but you're still carrying something heavy. This episode addresses the parts of recovery most people are too afraid to face.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why you blame yourself for a relationship built on manipulation and lies
• How narcissists expertly shift responsibility onto your shoulders
• Why you ignored red flags during the love-bombing phase (and why that's not your fault)
• How shame operates as a protective mechanism after trauma
• Why shame keeps abuse intact by making you hide what really happened
• Assessment questions to help you identify if self-blame and shame are blocking your healing
• Why cognitive dissonance makes it so hard to even recognize shame
• How addressing these deep matters of the heart leads to real freedom

Main Site: https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/ 

Article: https://www.movingforwardafterabuse.com/self-blame-and-shame/

https://linktr.ee/lynnnichols

Watch the Video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/dC1bi9W3_PA

🔗 Additional Healing Resources & Support: 👉 movingforwardafterabuse.com

📚 **Books by Lynn** 👉 Go Here 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

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 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

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🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There was one lie so outrageous it finally cracked the foundation. That moment when you thought, wait, that can't be right. That's when everything started to shift.

Narcissists are masters of deception, and their lies don't always come as direct statements. Sometimes they're covert, woven into conversations through manipulation and innuendo. They speak with such ease and charisma that it's nearly impossible not to believe them. The most dangerous part? Their stories often contain 90% truth, which makes that 10% lie devastatingly effective.

In this episode, we break down the four most common lies narcissists tell and why they work so well. You'll discover how they reframe historical events to make you doubt your own memory, leaving you thinking "I was wrong, I misunderstood, I was way off." This gaslighting is by design. It creates a foothold where you doubt what you think, what you feel, and even what you see.

We also explore:

• Why their carefully crafted public persona ensures no one believes your story when you try to tell it
• How conversations that start with their behavior somehow end with you apologizing
• The tactics they use to avoid accountability (deflection, stonewalling, jokes, rage, and belittling)
• Why they sabotage your dreams, hobbies, and personal growth

Listen if you're questioning whether what happened was real, you feel crazy for doubting yourself, or you've tried to share your story only to be met with disbelief. Understanding these lies is the first step to breaking free and trusting your intuition again.

🔗 Additional Healing Resources & Support: 👉 movingforwardafterabuse.com

📚 **Books by Lynn** 👉 Go Here 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

📥 **Downloadables: Ebooks, Worksheets & More** 👉 Visit the Store

💬 **Join the Exclusive Community on Supercast** 👉 Become a Member

🎁 **Support the Show** 👉 Tip Jar

📱 **Connect on Social Media** 👉 Visit our Linktree

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🤍**Coaching with Lynn** 1:1 Connect with Lynn - Coaching

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you have been a victim of narcissistic abuse, you may go through a stage questioning everyone around you, that is, if they are a narcissist or not. In this video, we are going to take a look at professions that commonly have narcissists - and why a narcissist is attracted to that particular profession. 

In this episode, we explore which professions attract narcissists and what makes these fields so appealing to them. Is it the power? The spotlight? The control? Understanding where narcissists tend to cluster can help you recognize patterns, set boundaries, and navigate professional relationships with greater awareness.

Whether you're dealing with a narcissistic boss, colleague, or partner in one of these fields, this episode gives you insight into why they gravitate toward certain roles and what that means for the people around them. Sometimes knowing the why helps you see the situation more clearly and protects you from getting caught in their web.

Listen if you've ever wondered why certain industries seem filled with difficult personalities, or if you're trying to make sense of a toxic professional relationship.

🔗 Additional Healing Resources & Support: 👉 movingforwardafterabuse.com

📚 **Books by Lynn** 👉 Go Here 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

📥 **Downloadables: Ebooks, Worksheets & More** 👉 Visit the Store

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📱 **Connect on Social Media** 👉 Visit our Linktree

⭐ **Leave a Review** 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🤍**Coaching with Lynn** 1:1 Connect with Lynn - Coaching

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your kindness wasn't a weakness. Your loyalty wasn't naive. Your determination to succeed wasn't something to apologize for. These were your strengths. But to a narcissist, they were something else entirely: life support.

Narcissists don't choose their victims randomly. They search for specific traits and attributes, looking for individuals who will feed their agenda and keep their supply intact. While most people see qualities like empathy, a servant's heart, and being teachable as respectful and endearing, narcissists view them through a completely different lens. They see opportunity. They see control.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why your kindness was tested through countless trials to ensure you'd stay pleasant even when they pushed every button
• How your loyalty was groomed over years through covert training you didn't even know you were participating in
• Why your determination to succeed became a challenge for them (they see how far they can bring you down as an invisible trophy)
• How being teachable means being easily manipulated, allowing them to become the authority in your life
• Why they exploit your empathy to meet their needs while yours go unmet
• How your servant's heart is drained until you're exhausted, then they conveniently forget or refuse to help when you need them most
• What being "in the fog" means and why past abuse makes you more vulnerable to narcissists

Listen if you've ever wondered why you were chosen, if you blame yourself for staying, or if you're trying to understand how someone could target the very best parts of who you are. This isn't about weakness. It's about recognizing that narcissists prey on strength, and understanding this is crucial to your healing.

🔗 Additional Healing Resources & Support: 👉 movingforwardafterabuse.com

📚 **Books by Lynn** 👉 Go Here 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

📥 **Downloadables: Ebooks, Worksheets & More** 👉 Visit the Store

💬 **Join the Exclusive Community on Supercast** 👉 Become a Member

🎁 **Support the Show** 👉 Tip Jar

📱 **Connect on Social Media** 👉 Visit our Linktree

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ **Leave a Review** 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🤍**Coaching with Lynn** 1:1 Connect with Lynn - Coaching

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your confidence was one of the biggest attributes attacked by the narcissist. They wanted to destroy your ability to perform, your sense of identity, and force you to follow them. Who you were became a threat, so they came at it full force.

You may have felt emotionally deflated, robbed, confused, stressed, anxious, alone, and terrified. Those personal attacks weren't just words. You took them to heart and carried the burden internally, feeling responsible for things that were never your fault. This took a heavy toll on your confidence, abilities, mindset, and even your health.

But here's what you need to know: confidence isn't what you think it is. It's not the loud leader directing a room or the person who appears to have it all together. True confidence is something quieter, something deeper. It's the internal ability to believe in yourself enough to set out and accomplish the things you want and desire to do. It's believing in your ability to move forward, dictated by your own standards, not someone else's.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why no contact is the essential first step in rebuilding confidence (the longer you're away, the more you heal exponentially)
• How to identify and cut ties with naysayers who steal your joy and tell you that you cannot do things
• Why embracing your hobbies is critical to recovery (even the ones the abuser tried to destroy because they competed for your attention)
• How to create a vision board with 3-month, 6-month, 1-year, 3-year, 5-year, and 10-year goals
• Why reading your goals out loud every day makes them real, fathomable, and attainable
• The truth about learning new skills one day at a time (a brain surgeon didn't come out of the womb knowing how to perform surgery)

After narcissistic abuse, your mind was on overload and you weren't able to function at peak due to malicious mind games. But confidence can be rebuilt. You can embrace a new future and new pathways going forward.

Listen if you're ready to reclaim the quiet strength that was always yours, to believe in yourself again, and to move forward with a plan that matters to you.

Watch the Video on YouTube:

🔗 Additional Healing Resources & Support: 👉 movingforwardafterabuse.com

📚 **Books by Lynn** 👉 Go Here 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

📥 **Downloadables: Ebooks, Worksheets & More** 👉 Visit the Store

💬 **Join the Exclusive Community on Supercast** 👉 Become a Member

🎁 **Support the Show** 👉 Tip Jar

📱 **Connect on Social Media** 👉 Visit our Linktree

⭐ **Leave a Review** 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🤍**Coaching with Lynn** 1:1 Connect with Lynn - Coaching

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The light bulb went on. You finally see it all. The hidden ways of twisting reality, the gaslighting, the games, the lies, the deception, the manipulation. After years of confusion, neglect, and emotional devastation, you've had your moment of clarity.

So what do you do now? Should you confront the narcissist? Should you let them know that you're on to their game?

The answer might surprise you, but it could also save you from danger. In this episode, we explore three critical reasons why confronting a narcissist is not recommended and could actually make your situation worse.

You'll discover:

• Why confronting a narcissist may put you in physical danger (they sense changes in their supply almost immediately and can spiral into narcissistic rage)
• How Pandora's Box opens the moment you let them know you're aware (the whole relationship shifts from them feeling in control to fearing abandonment)
• What happens when they feel threatened by exposure (a whole new set of tactics gets deployed, including intensified love-bombing and guilt)
• Why the smear campaign will escalate from subtle to overt attacks against the people and things precious to you
• How narcissists have been preventing your clarity since the onset of the relationship, and why they feared the day you'd figure it out
• Why acting the same as before (at least initially) gives you time to think and plan your next move safely

Narcissists are perceptive beyond normal humans because they have to manage their levels of supply at all times. It's like the air they breathe. When that supply changes or is threatened, they notice immediately. The fun is only beginning at this point of awareness, and keeping your knowledge to yourself until you have peace about your next steps is crucial.

Listen if you've just caught on to the schemes, if you're tempted to tell them what you know, or if you're wondering how to navigate this new awareness safely. Congratulations on your clarity. Now let's talk about protecting yourself as you move forward.

🔗 Additional Healing Resources & Support: 👉 movingforwardafterabuse.com

📚 **Books by Lynn** 👉 Go Here 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

📥 **Downloadables: Ebooks, Worksheets & More** 👉 Visit the Store

💬 **Join the Exclusive Community on Supercast** 👉 Become a Member

🎁 **Support the Show** 👉 Tip Jar

📱 **Connect on Social Media** 👉 Visit our Linktree

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ **Leave a Review** 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🤍**Coaching with Lynn** 1:1 Connect with Lynn - Coaching

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's a crime against the heart and soul of a person. It tears apart the inner workings of the mind and causes a cluster of roller coaster emotions doing back flips inside out. Left is right, down is sideways, and there is turmoil throughout the body. The heart sees only gut-wrenching pain and is in utter anguish.

Narcissistic abuse is insidious. Should it be classified in its own category as a hate crime? In this episode, we explore this provocative question while discussing how narcissistic abuse affects someone at their core and providing encouraging tips to handle moving forward.

The abuse leaves you drained mentally and physically, exhausted all the time with no energy on a day to day basis. Your stress levels are on overload for so long that even matching your clothes feels like too much effort. The narcissist trained you to believe you were out of your mind, that the abuse never occurred, and that you're crazy, unstable, and flat out wrong. Your confidence diminished. Your self esteem has been buried in the sand.

But here's what you need to know: the abuse occurred. You are not crazy. Your facts were right on. You think clearly and you saw and felt what happened. You experienced this attack on your heart and soul.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why validation that the abuse occurred helps to soothe the soul
• How the one who said they loved you did not have your best interests at heart (this is the insidious crime of narcissistic abuse)
• Why rebuilding doesn't always mean physical activity, sometimes it means resting for days, weeks, or months
• How to lay a new foundation even if you lose friendships and family who don't understand
• How knowledge and awareness is increasing on this subject (and why many people claim to understand but haven't a clue)
• Why we can control our actions even when narcissists say gut wrenching things to cause a reaction from us

There are people who have recovered from emotional narcissistic abuse. There is a tiny light at the end of the tunnel, and even though it sometimes falls out of focus, seeing it gives a glimpse of hope. Today may be the first day you see what they're doing to you. This is the beginning of a whole new era in your life.

🔗 Additional Healing Resources & Support: 👉 movingforwardafterabuse.com

📚 **Books by Lynn** 👉 Go Here 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

📥 **Downloadables: Ebooks, Worksheets & More** 👉 Visit the Store

💬 **Join the Exclusive Community on Supercast** 👉 Become a Member

🎁 **Support the Show** 👉 Tip Jar

📱 **Connect on Social Media** 👉 Visit our Linktree

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ **Leave a Review** 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🤍**Coaching with Lynn** 1:1 Connect with Lynn - Coaching

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The breaking point has been reached. The line was crossed. You find yourself saying, "I can never go through that again!" Maybe it was another pointless argument manufactured out of the blue about why you wore blue socks. Crazy making arguments intentionally designed to degrade your mind and get you to go over the edge and lose it. Of course then it would be all your fault, right?

The threshold has been reached and you've realized it's time to leave the narcissist and go no contact. Time to burn up the road and escape to freedom. Freedom to live life for you.

But here's the truth: leaving the narcissist may be one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. You're about to start a war, or rather, you're about to fight back in a war that's already been going on. A war your narcissist has been playing and wants you to lose.

Sometimes you can plan to leave and sometimes it's time to just go with the clothes on your back, your toaster oven, a truck full of you don't know what, the dog, and drive to your friend's house knowing that the Universe will give you the inner strength, fortitude, ability, muscle power, endurance, faith, and finances to make it.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• The critical steps for planning your escape safely
• Why a stealth move might save your life
• What happens after you leave and how to protect yourself
• The tactics narcissists use to pull you back in

This is an all out chaotic war for your freedom. Freedom for your own ability to do as you please, how and when you want to do so. Freedom for your mind to not be controlled and abused by others. You're going to cross over two layers of barbed wire, hitch a cab into an unknown city, hide in the back alleyway, then run across the border to freedom. The terrain is tough on the escape route, but it can be done and it is worth it.

If you're at your breaking point, if you're planning your exit, or if you need to know what comes after you leave, this episode gives you the practical roadmap to freedom. You're going to make it.

🔗 Additional Healing Resources & Support: 👉 movingforwardafterabuse.com

📚 **Books by Lynn** 👉 Go Here 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

📥 **Downloadables: Ebooks, Worksheets & More** 👉 Visit the Store

💬 **Join the Exclusive Community on Supercast** 👉 Become a Member

🎁 **Support the Show** 👉 Tip Jar

📱 **Connect on Social Media** 👉 Visit our Linktree

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ **Leave a Review** 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🤍**Coaching with Lynn** 1:1 Connect with Lynn - Coaching

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In a narcissistic family cult (ah, I mean unit), there are characters just like in a movie set. Yes, actors that play a certain role for the duration of the movie. And in this family structure, one role stands out: the family scapegoat.

You're the black sheep. The one who takes the blame for any negative issues undeservedly. You carry the heap of family abuse, often growing up under this duress thinking it's normal until you observe other family structures or have a wake up moment. You're meant to feel responsible for family affairs, carry guilt, bear the load of family shame, and you're often neglected and discarded.

But here's what most people don't talk about: being the family scapegoat comes with uncommon benefits. Benefits that might actually be your greatest strength.

While being scapegoated has lasting impact and is portrayed in a negative light, there are positive aspects rarely discussed. The scapegoat is the party most likely to not only create an exit plan but actually manage to escape the family unit entirely. They're the ones who see through the deception, lies, love bombing, and devaluing. They choose to have no part in it.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why the scapegoat has the courage to leave when others stay trapped
• How leaving the path of destruction transforms you from victim to survivor
• Why scapegoats become healers who help others recover from narcissistic abuse
• The calculated risk scapegoats take that changes their life trajectory

Once the scapegoat learns they've been scapegoated and comes up with a well formulated plan after having their eyes opened, they make the move with courage they may not have known before and set off to take a new path in life. They do the hard inner work to heal. Many become vocal about the abuse that occurred, seeking the emotional help and support they need to get well.

If you're the family scapegoat wondering whether leaving is worth it, if you're tired of carrying blame that was never yours, or if you're ready to understand how your role might actually be your pathway to freedom, this episode reveals the uncommon advantages you never knew you had. Starting over might be the break you've been looking for.

🔗 Additional Healing Resources & Support: 👉 movingforwardafterabuse.com

📚 **Books by Lynn** 👉 Go Here 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

📥 **Downloadables: Ebooks, Worksheets & More** 👉 Visit the Store

💬 **Join the Exclusive Community on Supercast** 👉 Become a Member

🎁 **Support the Show** 👉 Tip Jar

📱 **Connect on Social Media** 👉 Visit our Linktree

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ **Leave a Review** 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🤍**Coaching with Lynn** 1:1 Connect with Lynn - Coaching

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Will the narcissist change?" This question is among the top searches as it relates to narcissistic abuse and narcissism as a whole. It's researched and asked time and time again. The answer to this question may just dictate your future moves, so delicate thought goes into the response.

Here's what you need to know right from the start: at the time of this recording, there has not been one documented case of someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder being cured. Not one. Let that sink in for a moment. You may wish to let yourself feel the weight of that statement.

We have so many professional counselors and therapists today. Can't someone assist? It's a great question, but the reality is far more complex than you might hope. The life of a narcissist, albeit they have interpersonal dysfunctional problems, seems to be working just fine for them. Why would they volunteer to get things sorted out?

Maybe you've been given promises. Maybe they've said they'll work on it, that things will be different this time. Maybe you've seen them wear a smile, say nice things, even do nice things for a while. They can fake it for a stretch of time, performing in such a way that gives the impression they've changed. But is it real, or is it another scheme to pull the wool over your eyes?

In this episode, you'll uncover:

• Why narcissists genuinely don't want to be cured and see no problem to fix
• How they masterfully create obstacles and diversionary tactics to deny problems exist
• What love really means to a narcissist (hint: it may be better to love an ice cube as there is more warmth there)
• Why they can fake efforts toward change and the excuses you've never heard before

The narcissist operates in a triangle and cyclical pattern of behavior that starts with love bombing and favorable compliments that seem over the top. Many think upon meeting the narcissist they've found their true love. But to the narcissist, it has nothing to do with love. It all has to do with what they can get out of the relationship or how they can benefit.

🔗 Additional Healing Resources & Support: 👉 movingforwardafterabuse.com

📚 **Books by Lynn** 👉 Go Here 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

📥 **Downloadables: Ebooks, Worksheets & More** 👉 Visit the Store

💬 **Join the Exclusive Community on Supercast** 👉 Become a Member

🎁 **Support the Show** 👉 Tip Jar

📱 **Connect on Social Media** 👉 Visit our Linktree

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ **Leave a Review** 

 🎓 **Online Course: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery** 👉 Start the Course

🤍**Coaching with Lynn** 1:1 Connect with Lynn - Coaching

🧘‍♀️ **Somatic Healing Audio Sessions** 👉 Listen Now 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.