On Attachment

In this episode, we're talking about how to leave a relationship from the perspective of knowing that you need to. Break-ups are hard - no matter the circumstances - and most of the advice tends to be directed toward people who've been broken up with, rather than those doing the breaking up. 

We'll cover: 

• why waiting for the "right time" is an illusion
• how to support yourself as you prepare for a break-up
• grappling with guilt around hurting someone
• how to cultivate healthy boundaries throughout the break-up

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of "Can a relationship between two anxiously attached people work?". I get variations of this question a lot - basically, why wouldn't anxious and avoidant people save themselves the trouble by sticking to their own kind? Well, as always, it's not quite that simple... 

We'll cover:

• why anxious and avoidant people tend to be attracted to each other
• the truth behind why "opposites attract"
• what happens when two anxious or two avoidant people date

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

Today's episode is all about the role of criticism in anxious-avoidant dynamics. Both anxious and avoidant people have been known to deploy criticism as a strategy to manage fears and self-protect in relationships - but this will often look different (and be motivated by different drives) on each side.  One thing's for sure: no matter how it shows up, criticism is really harmful to relationships - so if this is something you struggle with, you've come to the right place. 

We'll cover:

• how anxiously attached people use criticism as a protest behaviour 
• criticism as a way to convey our hurt
• how avoidant people use criticism to sow seeds of doubt and create distance
• how to identify the needs underlying our criticism so we can communicate in a healthier way

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of how to navigate an all-consuming fear & paranoia around a partner cheating - particularly in circumstances where that fear is seemingly unwarranted.

We'll cover:

• the importance of nervous system regulation when we experience intense fear & paranoia
• when to talk to a partner about our fears
• the link between fear of cheating and low self-worth
• a liberating truth about control in relationships

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm speaking with Sarah Baldwin - a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Trauma Coach who is trained in Polyvagal interventions and is on the training team at the Polyvagal Institute. Sarah specialises in somatic trauma healing, attachment work, parts and inner child work and nervous system regulation. 

We cover:

• why nervous system regulation is the missing piece in so much healing work
• understanding the different states of your nervous system
• the connection between attachment and nervous system regulation
• how to distinguish between anxiety and intuition

and so much more!

You can find Sarah Baldwin on Instagram (@sarahbcoaching) or at sarahbaldwincoaching.com. 

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In this Q&A episode, I'm speaking to the common conundrum of what to do when you're feeling stuck in your relationship. This often happens when we've been trying for some time to make changes (or hoping that our partner will make changes), but we're just not seeing any progress. I'll share an unexpected way that you can shift out of low self-worth and hopelessness, and into a more empowered, self-confident state that will allow you to navigate whatever is happening in your relationship with clarity & trust. 

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In this episode, we're talking all about needs - specifically, looking at some common reasons why you're not getting your needs met in a relationship. It's easy to feel defeated and hurt when our needs are going unmet, but oftentimes there's far more that's within our control than we might think.

We'll cover:

• the importance of identifying your needs
• how to communicate your needs to your partner 
• mindset blocks around receiving and how these stops you from getting what you need
• what to do if your partner can't or won't meet you in your needs

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of how to bring up wanting to move in together with an avoidant partner. This episode will be super helpful for anyone in this same situation, or who is otherwise wanting to have a "what are we?" type chat with their avoidant partner.

We'll cover:

• mindset shifts for the anxious partner in approaching these conversations
• how to own your desires and feel comfortable voicing them
• how best to approach these conversations with an avoidant partner
• what to do if you're not on the same page

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In anticipation of the upcoming launch of my signature program Healing Anxious Attachment, today's episode is all about what changes you can expect as you heal your anxious attachment. I'll be sharing 6 shifts that you'll notice as you do the healing work and become more secure within yourself and in your relationships.

We cover:

• learning to observe your anxious thoughts rather than be ruled by them
• not feeling the urgent need to fix and problem-solve your relationship
• trusting that conflict isn't a matter of life or death
• building your self-worth
• learning to enjoy your own company

Make sure you sign up to Healing Anxious Attachment to save $100!

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's episode, we're talking about the difference between privacy and secrecy. Depending on where you sit on the attachment spectrum, you may have a complicated relationship with privacy - both your own and others'. We'll discuss where the line is between privacy and secrecy, and what to do if you find other people's privacy uncomfortable or triggering.

We cover:

• what's the difference between privacy and secrecy?
• anxious attachment and the need for information to eliminate uncertainty
• the trust wound
• avoidant attachment and protectiveness around privacy
• important caveats where there has been a known breach of trust

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website